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"BLITZBALLERS"
-Fanfiction by RAVEgirl [RAVEgirl_669@hotmail.com]
-Final Fantasy X, blitzball, and all characters are (c) Squaresoft
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~Ch. 6: MAESTER SEYMOUR HATES BLITZBALL
{Luca [port city with blitzball stadium]}
(Two announcers are on the TV stations across Luca)
Announcer #1: Well, it's blitzball season and the hour of the yearly blitz tourney! I CAN'T WAIT!
Announcer #2: Amen to that. (does Yevon handshake)
{Everyone watching the TV across Luca does the Yevon handshake back}
Announcer #1: (wide grin) I'm personally root, root, rooting for the hometeam: the Luca Goers!!!
Announcer #2: (annoyed grimace) Yeah, the Goers are definitely the fan favorite and they have the "home-pool" advantage, but the Kilika Beasts' recent tragedy might earn them some respect!
Announcer #1: Other teams competing this year include the Ronso Fangs and the Guado Glories.
Announcer #2: You can't forget the Besaid Aurochs, statistically the worst team ever. As we all know, their star player and younger brother of the coach, Chappu, was killed battling Sin one year ago today.
Announcer #1: Let's have a moment of silence . . . . (cough)
Announcer #2: (puts his hand on his ear so he can hear his manager over his headset) I was just informed by my boss that we forgot to mention the . . . Al Bhed Psyches. WELL THERE I MENTIONED THEM.
Announcer #1: I get the impression you don't like the Al Bhed very much.
Announcer #2: Well duh. Sacriligious bastards! I hope they die -- I mean, lose. LOSE!!!!
***
{On a very cushy, expensive boat that is crusing into Port #4 in Luca}
(It's a boat full of maesters [priests])
Maester Seymour: (effeminate Guado man with long & weird hair) Why must I attend this match of . . . "blitzball"?
Seymour's Assisant: (Guado guy who is fanning Seymour with a feathery fan) Is this your first match, sir?
Seymour: Yes, quite. I must admit, sports are not an interest of mine. The animalistic competition -- the injuries -- the men who exhaust themselves in pursuit of what? -- a trophy. HAH. How pointless.
Assistant: The blitzball players used to beat you up in high school, right, Maester Seymour?
Seymour: (puts his face very close to his assistant's) You will never mention that . . . . ever again. (releases Assistant)
Assistant: OK.
Seymour: Bring me my blueprints! We have to review "the plan".
Assistant: By "blueprints" do you mean these crayon drawings.
Seymour: We will refer to them as blueprints from now on.
(Seymour shows blueprints to his assistant)
(1st blueprint: looks like a fishbowl with stick figures swimming in it)
Seymour: Allow me to explain. (gestures grandly) This is the sphere pool in which blitzball is played, and these are the blitzball players -- the "blitzballers".
Assistant: I see.
(2nd blueprint: looks like a girl with short hair carrying a lacrosse stick)
Seymour: This is . . . Lady Summoner Yuna carrying her magic staff. Beautiful, isn't she?
Assistant: You are right Maester Seymour.
(3rd blueprint: looks like two muscular men. One of them is fat and one of them has red hair and a bandage on his nose?!)
Seymour: These are two blitzball players I have had the pleasure of corresponding with through the mail. Although I do not typically acknowledge the existence of the athletic, these ones assured me that they are young revolutionaries who want to overthrow their blitzball team.
Assistant: Oh.
Seymour: I will rendezvous with them in Luca.
(4th blueprint: looks like a bunch of blond mechanics)
Seymour: This is the Al Bhed and th --
Assistant: Um, excuse me, is there a point to this?
Seymour: (sigh) I didn't expect you to understand. With the help of Lady Yuna (girly sigh), my revolutionary correspondant, his rotund assistant, and the Al Bhed, we will ELIMINATE BLITZBALL ONCE AND FOR ALL! . . . forever! . . . for eternity! Yes, I like the last one very much. (smirk)
Assistant: Get rid of blitzball? B-but you can't!
Seymour: Oh, can't I? I'm a Maester of Yevon. The devoted Yevonites are at my beck and call. They will do whatever I say without a second thought. All I have to do is this. (does the Yevon handshake and laughs evilly!)
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"BLITZBALLERS"
-Fanfiction by RAVEgirl [RAVEgirl_669@hotmail.com]
-Final Fantasy X, blitzball, and all characters are (c) Squaresoft
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~Ch. 6: MAESTER SEYMOUR HATES BLITZBALL
{Luca [port city with blitzball stadium]}
(Two announcers are on the TV stations across Luca)
Announcer #1: Well, it's blitzball season and the hour of the yearly blitz tourney! I CAN'T WAIT!
Announcer #2: Amen to that. (does Yevon handshake)
{Everyone watching the TV across Luca does the Yevon handshake back}
Announcer #1: (wide grin) I'm personally root, root, rooting for the hometeam: the Luca Goers!!!
Announcer #2: (annoyed grimace) Yeah, the Goers are definitely the fan favorite and they have the "home-pool" advantage, but the Kilika Beasts' recent tragedy might earn them some respect!
Announcer #1: Other teams competing this year include the Ronso Fangs and the Guado Glories.
Announcer #2: You can't forget the Besaid Aurochs, statistically the worst team ever. As we all know, their star player and younger brother of the coach, Chappu, was killed battling Sin one year ago today.
Announcer #1: Let's have a moment of silence . . . . (cough)
Announcer #2: (puts his hand on his ear so he can hear his manager over his headset) I was just informed by my boss that we forgot to mention the . . . Al Bhed Psyches. WELL THERE I MENTIONED THEM.
Announcer #1: I get the impression you don't like the Al Bhed very much.
Announcer #2: Well duh. Sacriligious bastards! I hope they die -- I mean, lose. LOSE!!!!
***
{On a very cushy, expensive boat that is crusing into Port #4 in Luca}
(It's a boat full of maesters [priests])
Maester Seymour: (effeminate Guado man with long & weird hair) Why must I attend this match of . . . "blitzball"?
Seymour's Assisant: (Guado guy who is fanning Seymour with a feathery fan) Is this your first match, sir?
Seymour: Yes, quite. I must admit, sports are not an interest of mine. The animalistic competition -- the injuries -- the men who exhaust themselves in pursuit of what? -- a trophy. HAH. How pointless.
Assistant: The blitzball players used to beat you up in high school, right, Maester Seymour?
Seymour: (puts his face very close to his assistant's) You will never mention that . . . . ever again. (releases Assistant)
Assistant: OK.
Seymour: Bring me my blueprints! We have to review "the plan".
Assistant: By "blueprints" do you mean these crayon drawings.
Seymour: We will refer to them as blueprints from now on.
(Seymour shows blueprints to his assistant)
(1st blueprint: looks like a fishbowl with stick figures swimming in it)
Seymour: Allow me to explain. (gestures grandly) This is the sphere pool in which blitzball is played, and these are the blitzball players -- the "blitzballers".
Assistant: I see.
(2nd blueprint: looks like a girl with short hair carrying a lacrosse stick)
Seymour: This is . . . Lady Summoner Yuna carrying her magic staff. Beautiful, isn't she?
Assistant: You are right Maester Seymour.
(3rd blueprint: looks like two muscular men. One of them is fat and one of them has red hair and a bandage on his nose?!)
Seymour: These are two blitzball players I have had the pleasure of corresponding with through the mail. Although I do not typically acknowledge the existence of the athletic, these ones assured me that they are young revolutionaries who want to overthrow their blitzball team.
Assistant: Oh.
Seymour: I will rendezvous with them in Luca.
(4th blueprint: looks like a bunch of blond mechanics)
Seymour: This is the Al Bhed and th --
Assistant: Um, excuse me, is there a point to this?
Seymour: (sigh) I didn't expect you to understand. With the help of Lady Yuna (girly sigh), my revolutionary correspondant, his rotund assistant, and the Al Bhed, we will ELIMINATE BLITZBALL ONCE AND FOR ALL! . . . forever! . . . for eternity! Yes, I like the last one very much. (smirk)
Assistant: Get rid of blitzball? B-but you can't!
Seymour: Oh, can't I? I'm a Maester of Yevon. The devoted Yevonites are at my beck and call. They will do whatever I say without a second thought. All I have to do is this. (does the Yevon handshake and laughs evilly!)
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