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"BLITZBALLERS"
-Fanfiction by RAVEgirl [RAVEgirl_669@hotmail.com]
-Final Fantasy X, blitzball, and all characters are (c) Squaresoft
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~Ch. 8: WAKKA HATES THE AL BHED
{Waiting for Maester Seymour}
Botta: Is it 3:00 yet?
Keepa: Well, I don't know since Cap'n Wakka made me throw my digital watch away -- sniffle. I got that for my birthday!
Botta: Jeez. Well, judging from the placement of the sun, I'd say it's about 2:57 and 4 seconds.
(Maester Seymour and five bodyguards appear from nowhere)
Seymour: Excuse me, you two. I'm looking for these people. (holds up blueprint of two muscular blitzballers)
Botta: That's us.
(Seymour looks back and forth from the blueprint to the people standing there)
Seymour: (sigh) At least you're punctual. I like that.
(Yevon handshakes all around)
Seymour: Let's go to my luxury box seat in Luca Stadium. There, we can discuss the matter at hand in private.
Botta: Yes, almighty Lord Maester Seymour, your highness, sir.
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{Locker Room A -- Besaid Aurochs' locker room}
Tidus: Hey, what's goin' on? When are we gonna blitz?
Letty: First, Cap'n Wakka has to go to the drawing where he chooses which team we play.
(All the Aurochs look depressed)
Jassu: Usually Cap'n Wakka draws the Luca Goers. They're #1 in the league and we always get eliminated by them in the first round.
Tidus: We're not losing this year. Not with ME here, the Ace of the Zanarkand Abes! WHOOPS! MY BAD!!! That was just a little joke. (pumps fist)
(Everyone looks suspiciously at Tidus)
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(Yuna, Lulu, Kimahri, and Wakka are at the drawing)
Some Guy: The matches are totally randomized, determined by picking team names from a hat. Now did somebody remember to bring a hat?
(Everybody looks around confused)
(Nobody has a hat)
Some Guy: Damn it. Technical difficulties. Everybody hang on. (leaves to find a hat)
Some Other Guy: YOU'RE LAME!!!!!!!
(Wakka is nervously pacing back and forth but he stops to glare at the captain of the Al Bhed Psyches)
Wakka: Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. What an ugly mother, ya?
Lulu: Shhhhhhh, Wakka, he can hear you.
Wakka: So what, he doesn't speak English!
Al Bhed Captain: Actually, I do. I was educated in a bilingual curriculum and can fluently speak both Al Bhed and English.
Wakka: AUUUUUGH! Stop speaking MY language!
Al Bhed Captain: (smiles politely at Yuna and asks her a question in Al Bhed)
(Yuna shakes her head)
(Wakka puts his hands over Yuna's ears and nearly crushes her head)
Wakka: Don't you be speakin' that DIRTY LANGUAGE! There are CHILDREN present!
Al Bhed Captain: Do you have a problem with me and my people?
Wakka: Yes I do, and that problem is that you're heathens!
Lulu: Wakka.
Al Bhed Captain: I beg your pardon.
Wakka: I do not pardon you! Thanks to you and your stupid machina-machines, you brought the wrath of Yevon upon us and he unleashed SIIIIIIIN to plague our daily lives! (gesturing wildly and talking like a preacher)
Al Bhed Captain: That is not true, my bigoted friend.
Wakka: What!? I'm not your friend! (begins poking Al Bhed Captain in the chest very hard) You like that, ya? Huh? (takes fighting stance)
Lulu: Wakka!
(Wakka and the Al Bhed Captain get into a shoving match)
Lulu: DAMN IT WAKKA!!!!
(Wakka produces a blitzball and points it menacingly)
(Al Bhed Captain whips out a machine gun and casually aims it at Wakka)
(Wakka hides behind Kimahri)
Wakka: Ahhhh! Machina weapon! Machina weapon!!! Get him Kimahri!
Kimahri: Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrargh.
Wakka: (from behind Kimahri) HA! If you want to get me you'll have to shoot through 2.5 tons of Ronso!!!!
(Kimahri's eyes open wide)
Al Bhed Captain: [Prepare to die!!!!!]
(Al Bhed Captain chases Wakka in circles around Kimahri)
Wakka: LULU?!?! YUNA?!?! Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeelp.
(Some guy comes back with a bucket)
Some Guy: Well, we couldn't find a hat, but we did find this bucket. Now out of courtesy we let the last place team in the league draw first. Captain Wakka!! You're up.
(Wakka runs to the front with the Al Bhed Captain chasing him)
Some Guy: (to Al Bhed Captain) Hey wait your turn.
(Wakka goes "hahahaha" at the Al Bhed Captain)
(He feels around in the bucket and picks out a name)
Wakka: Please not the Luca Goers. (unfolds paper)
Some Guy: What does it say?
Wakka: US AUROCHS ARE GONNA PLAY . . . THE AL BHED PSYCHES -- !!
Some Guy: Alright. (puts the info into tournament brackets)
Wakka: (yells in the Al Bhed Captain's face) See YOU in the sphere pool!
(The Al Bhed Captain is now levelling a rocket launcher at Wakka)
(Wakka hides behind Kimahri again)
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"BLITZBALLERS"
-Fanfiction by RAVEgirl [RAVEgirl_669@hotmail.com]
-Final Fantasy X, blitzball, and all characters are (c) Squaresoft
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~Ch. 8: WAKKA HATES THE AL BHED
{Waiting for Maester Seymour}
Botta: Is it 3:00 yet?
Keepa: Well, I don't know since Cap'n Wakka made me throw my digital watch away -- sniffle. I got that for my birthday!
Botta: Jeez. Well, judging from the placement of the sun, I'd say it's about 2:57 and 4 seconds.
(Maester Seymour and five bodyguards appear from nowhere)
Seymour: Excuse me, you two. I'm looking for these people. (holds up blueprint of two muscular blitzballers)
Botta: That's us.
(Seymour looks back and forth from the blueprint to the people standing there)
Seymour: (sigh) At least you're punctual. I like that.
(Yevon handshakes all around)
Seymour: Let's go to my luxury box seat in Luca Stadium. There, we can discuss the matter at hand in private.
Botta: Yes, almighty Lord Maester Seymour, your highness, sir.
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{Locker Room A -- Besaid Aurochs' locker room}
Tidus: Hey, what's goin' on? When are we gonna blitz?
Letty: First, Cap'n Wakka has to go to the drawing where he chooses which team we play.
(All the Aurochs look depressed)
Jassu: Usually Cap'n Wakka draws the Luca Goers. They're #1 in the league and we always get eliminated by them in the first round.
Tidus: We're not losing this year. Not with ME here, the Ace of the Zanarkand Abes! WHOOPS! MY BAD!!! That was just a little joke. (pumps fist)
(Everyone looks suspiciously at Tidus)
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(Yuna, Lulu, Kimahri, and Wakka are at the drawing)
Some Guy: The matches are totally randomized, determined by picking team names from a hat. Now did somebody remember to bring a hat?
(Everybody looks around confused)
(Nobody has a hat)
Some Guy: Damn it. Technical difficulties. Everybody hang on. (leaves to find a hat)
Some Other Guy: YOU'RE LAME!!!!!!!
(Wakka is nervously pacing back and forth but he stops to glare at the captain of the Al Bhed Psyches)
Wakka: Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. What an ugly mother, ya?
Lulu: Shhhhhhh, Wakka, he can hear you.
Wakka: So what, he doesn't speak English!
Al Bhed Captain: Actually, I do. I was educated in a bilingual curriculum and can fluently speak both Al Bhed and English.
Wakka: AUUUUUGH! Stop speaking MY language!
Al Bhed Captain: (smiles politely at Yuna and asks her a question in Al Bhed)
(Yuna shakes her head)
(Wakka puts his hands over Yuna's ears and nearly crushes her head)
Wakka: Don't you be speakin' that DIRTY LANGUAGE! There are CHILDREN present!
Al Bhed Captain: Do you have a problem with me and my people?
Wakka: Yes I do, and that problem is that you're heathens!
Lulu: Wakka.
Al Bhed Captain: I beg your pardon.
Wakka: I do not pardon you! Thanks to you and your stupid machina-machines, you brought the wrath of Yevon upon us and he unleashed SIIIIIIIN to plague our daily lives! (gesturing wildly and talking like a preacher)
Al Bhed Captain: That is not true, my bigoted friend.
Wakka: What!? I'm not your friend! (begins poking Al Bhed Captain in the chest very hard) You like that, ya? Huh? (takes fighting stance)
Lulu: Wakka!
(Wakka and the Al Bhed Captain get into a shoving match)
Lulu: DAMN IT WAKKA!!!!
(Wakka produces a blitzball and points it menacingly)
(Al Bhed Captain whips out a machine gun and casually aims it at Wakka)
(Wakka hides behind Kimahri)
Wakka: Ahhhh! Machina weapon! Machina weapon!!! Get him Kimahri!
Kimahri: Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrargh.
Wakka: (from behind Kimahri) HA! If you want to get me you'll have to shoot through 2.5 tons of Ronso!!!!
(Kimahri's eyes open wide)
Al Bhed Captain: [Prepare to die!!!!!]
(Al Bhed Captain chases Wakka in circles around Kimahri)
Wakka: LULU?!?! YUNA?!?! Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeelp.
(Some guy comes back with a bucket)
Some Guy: Well, we couldn't find a hat, but we did find this bucket. Now out of courtesy we let the last place team in the league draw first. Captain Wakka!! You're up.
(Wakka runs to the front with the Al Bhed Captain chasing him)
Some Guy: (to Al Bhed Captain) Hey wait your turn.
(Wakka goes "hahahaha" at the Al Bhed Captain)
(He feels around in the bucket and picks out a name)
Wakka: Please not the Luca Goers. (unfolds paper)
Some Guy: What does it say?
Wakka: US AUROCHS ARE GONNA PLAY . . . THE AL BHED PSYCHES -- !!
Some Guy: Alright. (puts the info into tournament brackets)
Wakka: (yells in the Al Bhed Captain's face) See YOU in the sphere pool!
(The Al Bhed Captain is now levelling a rocket launcher at Wakka)
(Wakka hides behind Kimahri again)
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