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"BLITZBALLERS"
-Fanfiction by RAVEgirl [RAVEgirl_669@hotmail.com]
-Final Fantasy X, blitzball, and all characters are (c) Squaresoft
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~Ch. 11: PLAY TO WIN, PRAY TO WIN
(Tidus keeps dragging Yuna all over Luca looking for Auron)
Yuna: Excuse me, Tidus?
Tidus: Yeah, what? (still running at top speed)
Yuna: You're . . . hurting . . . my arm . . . and I . . . can't . . . run . . . this . . . fast!!!
(Tidus slows down and releases Yuna's arm)
Tidus: Sorry Yuna. (he's still jogging in place) But if we slow down, Auron might just keep getting further away. Then we'll never find him! He walks pretty fast for an old guy, you know?
Yuna: (smile)
Tidus: Listen -- I'm gonna run ahead a little bit. Do you mind?
Yuna: I don't know . . . if it's safe for me . . . to be wandering around alone.
Tidus: Well, if you get in trouble, just whistle. (puts his fingers in his mouth and demonstrates with an ear splitting whistle)
(Yuna tries to mimic his whistle and spits all over everything)
Yuna: Oh, I'm sorry!!
Tidus: (wiping his shirt off) That's OK. You know, on second thought, if you get in trouble, just scream really loud or call the police or something. SEE YA!!! (runs off at 50 mph)
Yuna: . . . . police?
=*=
(The Al Bhed Psyches are behind a wall spying on Yuna)
Al Bhed Captain: [There she is. Unguarded. Pathetic.]
Eigaar: [Can I grab her?]
Kyou: (another Psyche) [Oh, that sounds so dirty.]
Eigaar: [I meant -- you know what I meant!]
Al Bhed Captain: [Hurry up. We need to be back at the stadium -- (looks at digital watch) -- in like three seconds!]
Nimrook: [You're right.] (takes out remote control and toys around with it)
(Al Bhed mechscouter robots get released into Luca)
Nimrook: [These are to distract Yuna's guardians while we humiliate the Aurochs in blitzball!]
Al Bhed Captain: [Yeah, yeah. Now capture Yuna!]
Eigaar: [Using the less technological approach . . . .]
(Eigaar jumps out, covers Yuna's mouth, and drags her into the shadows)
Yuna: (thinking) Wakka and Lulu are busy . . . Tidus ran away . . . KIMAHRI, I NEED YOU!!! (she struggles but the Psyches easily overpower her)
{Meanwhile, somewhere else, Kimahri is busy getting beat up by two other Ronso, so he's kind of distracted right now.}
=*=
{Somewhere else}
(Lulu is strolling around aimlessly)
(Lulu trips over Kimahri)
Kimahri: Ruhh.
Lulu: Kimahri, what are you doing on the floor?
Kimahri: Kimahri get ass kicked.
Lulu: Get up.
Kimahri: One minute please.
Lulu: Where's Yuna?
Kimahri: Kimahri not know.
Lulu: You call yourself a guardian?
Kimahri: Lulu is also a guardian. What Lulu think of THAT?
Lulu: (flustered) Don't you throw that argument in my face!!!
(The captain of the Al Bhed Psyches clamps his hand over Lulu's mouth and drags her to a deserted area!!)
Al Bhed Captain: (in English) We kidnapped your summoner. Tell the Aurochs that if they lose the match against the Psyches, Yuna lives. (releases Lulu and runs off really fast)
=*=
(The Aurochs pray before the game)
Wakka: Please help us. Please, please, please help us, oh great and powerful Yevon. (distracted, he is keeping his eye on the locker room door waiting for Tidus to come back)
Botta: Why don't we just pray to win?
Wakka: You can't pray to win, you have to PLAY TO WIN, like brudda says!
Botta: (grumbles)
Wakka: We really, really, really want to win the match. That is just a suggestion. If you don't want us to win, that is OK. But we really wanna win! Like a LOT. You have no idea. Amen? No, wait, P.S. -- I'm not done yet, Yevon!!! That was a fake amen.
Jassu: Hmm, Cap'n Wakka's prayer sucks this year.
Letty: You remember what happened LAST year.
Jassu: Oh yeah.
(The door suddenly opens)
Wakka: IS IT -- oh it's just Lulu. What, WHAT?!!! We're praying here, ya?
Lulu: Don't bite my head off, Wakka! The Al Bhed kidnapped Yuna.
Wakka: (screams) WHAAAAAAAAAAT?!
Lulu: They implied that they would kill her if you won the match vs. the Al Bhed Psyches. You need to forfeit to save her.
Wakka: DAMN it!!!!!!! (rubbing his hand on his face)
Lulu: You have to decide now, Wakka. What is more important, your job as a blitzball player, or your job as a summoner's guardian?
Wakka: Screw those stupid, inbred, Al Bhed bastards!!!!! I HATE 'EM!!!!!!
Lulu: The opening ceremonies are happening. (quietly) This is why I don't like blitzball. (leaves)
Wakka: (makes sobbing noises) What do I do?!
Botta: Psst, Wakka -- Yuna lived a nice, full life, eh?
Keepa: Botta, shut up.
=*=
(Opening ceremonies include filling the huge, sphere-shaped pool with water which projects small rainbows of light everywhere)
(The stadium is packed with excited blitzball fans running all over the place)
Announcer #1: This moment always makes me get a tear in my eye.
Announcer #2: Exactly one tear?
Announcer #1: Yes. (wipes tear away) Whew, good to get that out of the way. And now for the Maesters' Address.
(Maester Mika [old priest] and Maester Seymour address the crowd.)
Seymour: May the best team win. (smirk) A hah hah hah. (claps hands excitedly)
Mika: Lord Seymour, it is sincerely good to see you enjoying yourself.
Seymour: You have no idea, old man.
(Everyone does the Yevon handshake)
{At the entrance to the stadium}
Auron: Just in time. (slowly, dramatically walks up the stairs to the stadium)
(Everyone nervously clears a path for him)
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"BLITZBALLERS"
-Fanfiction by RAVEgirl [RAVEgirl_669@hotmail.com]
-Final Fantasy X, blitzball, and all characters are (c) Squaresoft
=*=*=*=*=*=*=
~Ch. 11: PLAY TO WIN, PRAY TO WIN
(Tidus keeps dragging Yuna all over Luca looking for Auron)
Yuna: Excuse me, Tidus?
Tidus: Yeah, what? (still running at top speed)
Yuna: You're . . . hurting . . . my arm . . . and I . . . can't . . . run . . . this . . . fast!!!
(Tidus slows down and releases Yuna's arm)
Tidus: Sorry Yuna. (he's still jogging in place) But if we slow down, Auron might just keep getting further away. Then we'll never find him! He walks pretty fast for an old guy, you know?
Yuna: (smile)
Tidus: Listen -- I'm gonna run ahead a little bit. Do you mind?
Yuna: I don't know . . . if it's safe for me . . . to be wandering around alone.
Tidus: Well, if you get in trouble, just whistle. (puts his fingers in his mouth and demonstrates with an ear splitting whistle)
(Yuna tries to mimic his whistle and spits all over everything)
Yuna: Oh, I'm sorry!!
Tidus: (wiping his shirt off) That's OK. You know, on second thought, if you get in trouble, just scream really loud or call the police or something. SEE YA!!! (runs off at 50 mph)
Yuna: . . . . police?
=*=
(The Al Bhed Psyches are behind a wall spying on Yuna)
Al Bhed Captain: [There she is. Unguarded. Pathetic.]
Eigaar: [Can I grab her?]
Kyou: (another Psyche) [Oh, that sounds so dirty.]
Eigaar: [I meant -- you know what I meant!]
Al Bhed Captain: [Hurry up. We need to be back at the stadium -- (looks at digital watch) -- in like three seconds!]
Nimrook: [You're right.] (takes out remote control and toys around with it)
(Al Bhed mechscouter robots get released into Luca)
Nimrook: [These are to distract Yuna's guardians while we humiliate the Aurochs in blitzball!]
Al Bhed Captain: [Yeah, yeah. Now capture Yuna!]
Eigaar: [Using the less technological approach . . . .]
(Eigaar jumps out, covers Yuna's mouth, and drags her into the shadows)
Yuna: (thinking) Wakka and Lulu are busy . . . Tidus ran away . . . KIMAHRI, I NEED YOU!!! (she struggles but the Psyches easily overpower her)
{Meanwhile, somewhere else, Kimahri is busy getting beat up by two other Ronso, so he's kind of distracted right now.}
=*=
{Somewhere else}
(Lulu is strolling around aimlessly)
(Lulu trips over Kimahri)
Kimahri: Ruhh.
Lulu: Kimahri, what are you doing on the floor?
Kimahri: Kimahri get ass kicked.
Lulu: Get up.
Kimahri: One minute please.
Lulu: Where's Yuna?
Kimahri: Kimahri not know.
Lulu: You call yourself a guardian?
Kimahri: Lulu is also a guardian. What Lulu think of THAT?
Lulu: (flustered) Don't you throw that argument in my face!!!
(The captain of the Al Bhed Psyches clamps his hand over Lulu's mouth and drags her to a deserted area!!)
Al Bhed Captain: (in English) We kidnapped your summoner. Tell the Aurochs that if they lose the match against the Psyches, Yuna lives. (releases Lulu and runs off really fast)
=*=
(The Aurochs pray before the game)
Wakka: Please help us. Please, please, please help us, oh great and powerful Yevon. (distracted, he is keeping his eye on the locker room door waiting for Tidus to come back)
Botta: Why don't we just pray to win?
Wakka: You can't pray to win, you have to PLAY TO WIN, like brudda says!
Botta: (grumbles)
Wakka: We really, really, really want to win the match. That is just a suggestion. If you don't want us to win, that is OK. But we really wanna win! Like a LOT. You have no idea. Amen? No, wait, P.S. -- I'm not done yet, Yevon!!! That was a fake amen.
Jassu: Hmm, Cap'n Wakka's prayer sucks this year.
Letty: You remember what happened LAST year.
Jassu: Oh yeah.
(The door suddenly opens)
Wakka: IS IT -- oh it's just Lulu. What, WHAT?!!! We're praying here, ya?
Lulu: Don't bite my head off, Wakka! The Al Bhed kidnapped Yuna.
Wakka: (screams) WHAAAAAAAAAAT?!
Lulu: They implied that they would kill her if you won the match vs. the Al Bhed Psyches. You need to forfeit to save her.
Wakka: DAMN it!!!!!!! (rubbing his hand on his face)
Lulu: You have to decide now, Wakka. What is more important, your job as a blitzball player, or your job as a summoner's guardian?
Wakka: Screw those stupid, inbred, Al Bhed bastards!!!!! I HATE 'EM!!!!!!
Lulu: The opening ceremonies are happening. (quietly) This is why I don't like blitzball. (leaves)
Wakka: (makes sobbing noises) What do I do?!
Botta: Psst, Wakka -- Yuna lived a nice, full life, eh?
Keepa: Botta, shut up.
=*=
(Opening ceremonies include filling the huge, sphere-shaped pool with water which projects small rainbows of light everywhere)
(The stadium is packed with excited blitzball fans running all over the place)
Announcer #1: This moment always makes me get a tear in my eye.
Announcer #2: Exactly one tear?
Announcer #1: Yes. (wipes tear away) Whew, good to get that out of the way. And now for the Maesters' Address.
(Maester Mika [old priest] and Maester Seymour address the crowd.)
Seymour: May the best team win. (smirk) A hah hah hah. (claps hands excitedly)
Mika: Lord Seymour, it is sincerely good to see you enjoying yourself.
Seymour: You have no idea, old man.
(Everyone does the Yevon handshake)
{At the entrance to the stadium}
Auron: Just in time. (slowly, dramatically walks up the stairs to the stadium)
(Everyone nervously clears a path for him)
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