=*=*=*=*=*=*=
"BLITZBALLERS"
-Fanfiction by RAVEgirl [RAVEgirl_669@hotmail.com]
-Final Fantasy X, blitzball, and all characters are (c) Squaresoft
=*=*=*=*=*=*=
~Ch. 15: THE ONE WHERE THE AL BHED CAPTAIN DIES
{The Al Bhed quietly walk down the corridor after their loss}
(The Al Bhed Captain suddenly stopped and began banging his forehead on the wall)
Al Bhed Captain: [Stupid stupid stupid stupid.]
Nimrook: [Captain . . . ??]
Al Bhed Captain: (he speaks in between beating himself) [They -- were HANDING -- the game -- to us -- and we STILL -- LOST.]
(Suddenly somebody's hand shoved the Al Bhed Captain's head into the wall with excessive force)
(crunching noise)
Al Bhed Captain: . . . . (fell to the floor)
(All the other Al Bhed Psyches turned around to see Seymour and his bodyguards)
(Seymour is dusting off his hands)
Seymour: Oh my, what an unfortunate accident.
(One of the Al Bhed feels for a pulse on the captain)
Seymour: That's not necessary. I'm quite sure he's dead.
Kyou: (to Eigaar) [Don't you know his language?]
Eigaar: (nevously staring at the captain's body) [Ummm . . . .] (nods)
Kyou: [Talk to him!] (points at Seymour)
Eigaar: (to Seymour) WHY YOU DID THIS?
Seymour: AHAHAHAHAH. (pause)
Guado Bodyguards: (exchange glances) . . . ahahahah.
Seymour: It's quite funny when the heathens try to talk like us.
Eigaar: (steps up to Seymour and glares up at his face) Why you kill him!! Talk to me.
Seymour: I will tell you "why I kill him". I gave you a simple task, to bring Lady Yuna to me, and you couldn't even do that.
Eigaar: (confused) But, we did get Yuna for you . . . .
(Seymour took out a video sphere and showed it to the Psyches)
{On video sphere: the two Al Bhed from earlier abandoning their post of guarding Yuna to go bet on the Psyches / Tidus, Lulu, and Kimahri rescuing Yuna and taking her away}
Eigaar: (gulp)
(All the Psyches took a step backwards from Seymour)
Seymour: (smashed his video sphere) You know, I should have expected as much! If you hadn't left to play BLITZBALL Yuna would be with me right now.
Eigaar: Why you want Yuna for?
Seymour: Don't make me take out the crayon dr -- err blueprints.
Eigaar: (thinking) [Uh-oh, is "blueprints" like "hand grenades". Damn it, I should have studied my vocab flashcards more.] (out loud) Do not take out the blueprints!
Seymour: Alright, then. (he has been taking the blueprints out of his chest pocket but he now halfway puts them back in) Oh, and it must feel QUITE satisfying to fail at TWO missions. Not only did you let Lady Yuna escape, you also lost to the Aurochs.
Nimrook: [What's he saying?]
Eigaar: [Shut up.] You -- you -- (thinks of English word) -- JERKOFF!! The Al Bhed will avenge our captain.
Seymour: Don't forget to avenge the two "bodyguards" who let Yuna get away.
Eigaar: You kill them, too?!
Seymour: The Al Bhed are dispensible to me. You fail to be of worth I WILL kill you.
Eigaar: Kill me.
Seymour: Kill you?
Eigaar: Yeah.
Seymour: Ahahahahahahahahah.
Eigaar: Do it. (holds out hands in a vulnerable way)
Seymour: Every blitzballer, Besaidian, Kilik-ian, Al Bhed, Guado -- well not them, maybe I let them escape -- and Ronso will be dead at the end of the tournament anyway.
Eigaar: No. Take my life instead.
Seymour: (rolls his eyes) You even fail at trying to be noble. Come on.
(He turns away and his bodyguards follow him)
(Eigaar cries)
Kyou: *chuckles bitterly* [Hehehe, heh.]
Eigaar: *sniffle* [What's so funny?]
Kyou: [I might not understand his English, but I understand his crayon drawings.]
Nimrook: [Hey, you pickpocketed his "blueprints".]
Kyou: [Yup, just a little skill us "heathens" have.]
Nimrook: [Eww, that means you had to reach in his chest pocket.]
Kyou: [Well, at least it wasn't his ass pocket.]
(They suddenly remember the seriousness of the situation)
(They respectfully pick up their deceased captain and look grimly at each other)
(They continue down the corridor)
=*=
{Fixing the sound equipment in the stadium}
(Announcers #1 and #2 untangle all the extension chords)
Announcer #1: Maybe if I plug this back in.
(sparks come out)
Both Announcers: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
(Announcer #1 unplugs the thing)
(The riot continues below)
Announcer #2: Maybe if you flip this switch-a-roony here.
(The lights in the stadium went out)
Announcer #1: Flip it back.
Announcer #2: I would but it's so dark I can't see where the switch is!!
Announcer #1: Thanks again CAPTAIN IDIOT.
Announcer #2: Um, you're welcome, GENERAL MORON.
Announcer #1: Nuh-uh, don't even start with me, CORPORAL DUMBASS.
(Everybody in the audience is shocked by the power outage and stops beating each other up)
Random Teenage Girl: Eeeeeeeee. It's dark and scary. Hold me Sir Auron~!!
(Auron freaked out by the girl touching him and shoved her about 5 feet)
Auron: Hmmmmph.
=*=
{Locker Room A -- Besaid Aurochs}
Wakka: Oh great now I'm blind.
Tidus: Me too.
(bump)
(smashhhhhh)
(crashing noise)
Jassu: Um . . . ha, ha, Letty walked into the wall.
Letty: No I didn't.
Jassu: (who just walked into the wall) Y-yes you did. (his lip trembles while he rubs his newly bruised-up shin)
(Somebody begins patting Wakka on the head)
Wakka: H-hey whoever's doing that. Hands off!!
Tidus: Eh heh.
Wakka: Man brudda what the hell?!
Yuna: Lulu...can't you cast a light spell so we can see?
Lulu: Right. (takes out Variable Mog doll)
Tidus: Hey, it sounds like somebody just took out a doll. It sounds cute, can I play w--
(Lulu casts a Fire spell)
(Locker room gets filled with light)
(Everyone immediately stops whatever they were doing in the dark)
(Jassu stopps crying and rubbing his shin and begins whistling nonchalantly)
(Tidus removes his hand from Wakka's hair)
(Wakka glares at him)
Tidus: Well, see, I thought your hair was a puppy.
Wakka: (slowly) Uhhhhh-huh.
(Keepa is eating 25 sandwiches at the same time)
Botta: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!! Cap'n Wakka!! Keepa is eating the Official Aurochs Team Lunch!
Wakka: (pats Keepa on the back) Keep it up champ. Maybe you expand enough to block the entire front of the goal! What's your goal?
Keepa: (munch) To be the fattest goal-keepa ever.
Wakka: That's it--
(The locker room door busts open)
(It's the Al Bhed Psyches)
Everyone except Yuna, Lulu, and Tidus: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!
Eigaar: You, do not being afraid! (holds up his hands)
Wakka: Look out everyone. He has a gun.
(All the Aurochs go into a karate stance)
Eigaar: Oh, no, you do not understand. This is a flashlight, see? Because of the power blockage? (holds up flashlight)
(Accidentally drops the flashlight on Nimrook's foot)
Nimrook: OWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH
Wakka: SEE?! DEADLY WEAPON!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN HERE?!!!
Eigaar: I know, we must have gotten off on the wrong start. Blitzball, only, is a simple competition. It has turned us into enemies.
Wakka: Raaaaaaaargh (lunge)
(Lulu grabs his arm)
Wakka: Lulu, they're heathens.
Lulu: Wakka, you're injured.
Wakka: Ohhh ya, my hernia don't feel so good. (lies down on the bench)
Nimrook: (to Eigaar) [HEY! I recognize that word, "heathens". Call him a "bigot".]
Kyou: (to Eigaar) [Call him a "bigot-ass". Everything becomes more insulting if you put the word "ass" on the end of it.]
Eigaar: I am sorry that we injured you earlier. That was not honest.
(Meanwhile there is a circle of angry-looking Aurochs surrounding the Psyches)
Eigaar: Uhh, but please do listen to me! There is a plan against every blitzballer today, to kill us all!
Wakka: No there isn't.
Eigaar: Please, you listen to me. It is Maester Seymour. He's trying to kill us.
Wakka: No he isn't.
Eigaar: We found these blueprints in his pocket--
Wakka: No you didn't.
Eigaar: We think he's trying t--
Wakka: No he's not.
Eigaar: (getting annoyed) Are you going to disagree with all that I say, no matter what?
Wakka: We'll see about that. (he is still lying down on the bench) I really don't believe you. Of course a pagan like yourself wouldn't trust Maester Seymour.
Jassu: Yeah that's right!
Aurochs: Yeah. That's right. Cap'n Wakka's right. Yeah. Uh-huh.
Wakka: You probably just tryin' to frame him. A heathen would want to make an upright Yevonite figurehead out to be the enemy!
Eigaar: Fine, you don't believe us? (to Nimrook and Kyou) [Show him our captain.]
(Nimrook and Kyou went out in the hallway and returned carrying the body of their captain)
Everyone except the Al Bhed Psyches: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(All the Aurochs stopped with their defensive stance and slowly backed up against a far wall of the room)
(Keepa was eating a sandwich but he now looks up and sees the body)
Keepa: AUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH.
(Wakka recognizes the captain as the guy he fought with earlier)
Wakka: Wh--what happened to him?
Eigaar: Maester Seymour did killed him.
Wakka: No he didn...when? How?
Eigaar: After the match, he hit his head on the wall. Our captain died of blunt force trauma.
Wakka: (takes the "blueprints" from Kyou and flips through them) Hey, Keepa and Botta, this drawing kind of looks like you.
Keepa and Botta: Eheheheheheheh. (nervously shifting around)
(Wakka continues flipping through the papers)
(The Psyches stare hopefully at him)
(Wakka looks up from the papers and stares back at them)
(This goes on for 5 minutes)
(Wakka finally throws the papers back in Kyou's face)
(The Psyches sigh loudly)
Wakka: Number one--I can't even tell what in Yevon's name these ugly drawings are.
Eigaar: But--
Wakka: Number two--in my religion when somebody dies we don't carry their body around and show it to everybody.
Eigaar: We--
Wakka: Number three GET OUT OF MY LOCKER ROOM!!!
Eigaar: Please, Captain Wakka, we're begging you--we're all in danger--we--
(The Aurochs shove the Psyches out)
(brief pause)
(The Aurochs slam the door in the Psyches' faces)
Eigaar: (talking to his dead captain) [Oh captain, my captain. We have failed you.]
Kyou: [Would ya shut up, Eigaar? Stop trying to recite ancient poetry from 1,000 years ago!]
(Kyou also talks to the dead captain)
Kyou: [Don't worry...we can't bring you back. But we can keep Seymour from killing anyone else today.]
Nimrook: [I say we start by helping the technical illiterate fix their power supply.]
=*=
(Back in the locker room)
Yuna: Ohh...should I have offered to send their captain to the Farplane?
Wakka: (as if he's talking to a baby) No, Yuna, honey. The Al Bhed are evil. They don't send their dead, like you and me. I think they eat them.
Lulu: Wakka, shut up, you're delirious from your injury.
Wakka: Yes that's right I'm...delicious...from...my....(flops down on bench and goes unconscious again)
=*=
(In the announcers' booth)
(The two announcers argue with each other while the Psyches quietly sneak in and repair their sound and lights)
(The Psyches sneak out)
Announcer #1: Hey the power's back on!
Announcer #2: Yeah, whatever, CIVILIAN STUPID!!!
Announcer #1: You know, I have a name!
Announcer #2: Heh, well, yeah. (rubs the back of his head) I've been working with you for 20 years and you told me your name one time and I kind of forgot it. Ha ha!! I was kind of too embarassed to ask....
Announcer #1: I forgot your name, too!!!!!!
(They both laugh loudly)
Announcer #1: Oh, well, yeah, my name's Bobba.
Announcer #2: I'm Jimma!! Yeah-heaahhh. This is great! (rubs his hands together)
Bobba: Well, shall we get back to announcing this game, JIMMA?
Jimma: Sure 'nough, um...(thinks)...YOU!
Bobba: (groans) (gets on mic) It appears that our power is BACK ON!
Jimma: PRAISE BE TO YEVON!!!!!!!
(Everyone in the audience slowly goes back to their seats and does the Yevon symbol)
Bobba: This is great!!! We're down to the final match of this tourney! This is THE match, people, the one that decides the winner of this year's TOURNAMENT!-ENT!-ENT!-ENT!!
(Jimma punched Bobba in the face and turned off the reverb on the sound control panel)
Bobba: Ow my teeth
Jimma: The next match begins shortly!
=*=
(Locker room)
Wakka: (woke up) Ya hear that? Get ready, guys. (grunt) (sits up) Tidus...no time for warm-ups, ya?
Tidus: Ha, who needs warm-ups? (punches at the air with his fists)
Wakka: I want you guys to listen to Tidus.
Aurochs: Cap'n!
Botta: (jealously) They should be listening to me. I mean--(excitedly) oh boy oh boy!! I'm gonna play!...(jealously) but that should be me...(excitedly) but HOT DIGGITY I GET TO BE IN THE GAME!!!...oh jeez I'm so conflicted here.
Wakka: Keepa, finish that sandwich and eat some pie. I want your fatness blocking that entire goal out there. Nobody is gettin' a blitzball past your belly, ya?
Keepa: Got it. (begins eating pie)
Wakka: Now let's go over the game plan....
=*=
"BLITZBALLERS"
-Fanfiction by RAVEgirl [RAVEgirl_669@hotmail.com]
-Final Fantasy X, blitzball, and all characters are (c) Squaresoft
=*=*=*=*=*=*=
~Ch. 15: THE ONE WHERE THE AL BHED CAPTAIN DIES
{The Al Bhed quietly walk down the corridor after their loss}
(The Al Bhed Captain suddenly stopped and began banging his forehead on the wall)
Al Bhed Captain: [Stupid stupid stupid stupid.]
Nimrook: [Captain . . . ??]
Al Bhed Captain: (he speaks in between beating himself) [They -- were HANDING -- the game -- to us -- and we STILL -- LOST.]
(Suddenly somebody's hand shoved the Al Bhed Captain's head into the wall with excessive force)
(crunching noise)
Al Bhed Captain: . . . . (fell to the floor)
(All the other Al Bhed Psyches turned around to see Seymour and his bodyguards)
(Seymour is dusting off his hands)
Seymour: Oh my, what an unfortunate accident.
(One of the Al Bhed feels for a pulse on the captain)
Seymour: That's not necessary. I'm quite sure he's dead.
Kyou: (to Eigaar) [Don't you know his language?]
Eigaar: (nevously staring at the captain's body) [Ummm . . . .] (nods)
Kyou: [Talk to him!] (points at Seymour)
Eigaar: (to Seymour) WHY YOU DID THIS?
Seymour: AHAHAHAHAH. (pause)
Guado Bodyguards: (exchange glances) . . . ahahahah.
Seymour: It's quite funny when the heathens try to talk like us.
Eigaar: (steps up to Seymour and glares up at his face) Why you kill him!! Talk to me.
Seymour: I will tell you "why I kill him". I gave you a simple task, to bring Lady Yuna to me, and you couldn't even do that.
Eigaar: (confused) But, we did get Yuna for you . . . .
(Seymour took out a video sphere and showed it to the Psyches)
{On video sphere: the two Al Bhed from earlier abandoning their post of guarding Yuna to go bet on the Psyches / Tidus, Lulu, and Kimahri rescuing Yuna and taking her away}
Eigaar: (gulp)
(All the Psyches took a step backwards from Seymour)
Seymour: (smashed his video sphere) You know, I should have expected as much! If you hadn't left to play BLITZBALL Yuna would be with me right now.
Eigaar: Why you want Yuna for?
Seymour: Don't make me take out the crayon dr -- err blueprints.
Eigaar: (thinking) [Uh-oh, is "blueprints" like "hand grenades". Damn it, I should have studied my vocab flashcards more.] (out loud) Do not take out the blueprints!
Seymour: Alright, then. (he has been taking the blueprints out of his chest pocket but he now halfway puts them back in) Oh, and it must feel QUITE satisfying to fail at TWO missions. Not only did you let Lady Yuna escape, you also lost to the Aurochs.
Nimrook: [What's he saying?]
Eigaar: [Shut up.] You -- you -- (thinks of English word) -- JERKOFF!! The Al Bhed will avenge our captain.
Seymour: Don't forget to avenge the two "bodyguards" who let Yuna get away.
Eigaar: You kill them, too?!
Seymour: The Al Bhed are dispensible to me. You fail to be of worth I WILL kill you.
Eigaar: Kill me.
Seymour: Kill you?
Eigaar: Yeah.
Seymour: Ahahahahahahahahah.
Eigaar: Do it. (holds out hands in a vulnerable way)
Seymour: Every blitzballer, Besaidian, Kilik-ian, Al Bhed, Guado -- well not them, maybe I let them escape -- and Ronso will be dead at the end of the tournament anyway.
Eigaar: No. Take my life instead.
Seymour: (rolls his eyes) You even fail at trying to be noble. Come on.
(He turns away and his bodyguards follow him)
(Eigaar cries)
Kyou: *chuckles bitterly* [Hehehe, heh.]
Eigaar: *sniffle* [What's so funny?]
Kyou: [I might not understand his English, but I understand his crayon drawings.]
Nimrook: [Hey, you pickpocketed his "blueprints".]
Kyou: [Yup, just a little skill us "heathens" have.]
Nimrook: [Eww, that means you had to reach in his chest pocket.]
Kyou: [Well, at least it wasn't his ass pocket.]
(They suddenly remember the seriousness of the situation)
(They respectfully pick up their deceased captain and look grimly at each other)
(They continue down the corridor)
=*=
{Fixing the sound equipment in the stadium}
(Announcers #1 and #2 untangle all the extension chords)
Announcer #1: Maybe if I plug this back in.
(sparks come out)
Both Announcers: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
(Announcer #1 unplugs the thing)
(The riot continues below)
Announcer #2: Maybe if you flip this switch-a-roony here.
(The lights in the stadium went out)
Announcer #1: Flip it back.
Announcer #2: I would but it's so dark I can't see where the switch is!!
Announcer #1: Thanks again CAPTAIN IDIOT.
Announcer #2: Um, you're welcome, GENERAL MORON.
Announcer #1: Nuh-uh, don't even start with me, CORPORAL DUMBASS.
(Everybody in the audience is shocked by the power outage and stops beating each other up)
Random Teenage Girl: Eeeeeeeee. It's dark and scary. Hold me Sir Auron~!!
(Auron freaked out by the girl touching him and shoved her about 5 feet)
Auron: Hmmmmph.
=*=
{Locker Room A -- Besaid Aurochs}
Wakka: Oh great now I'm blind.
Tidus: Me too.
(bump)
(smashhhhhh)
(crashing noise)
Jassu: Um . . . ha, ha, Letty walked into the wall.
Letty: No I didn't.
Jassu: (who just walked into the wall) Y-yes you did. (his lip trembles while he rubs his newly bruised-up shin)
(Somebody begins patting Wakka on the head)
Wakka: H-hey whoever's doing that. Hands off!!
Tidus: Eh heh.
Wakka: Man brudda what the hell?!
Yuna: Lulu...can't you cast a light spell so we can see?
Lulu: Right. (takes out Variable Mog doll)
Tidus: Hey, it sounds like somebody just took out a doll. It sounds cute, can I play w--
(Lulu casts a Fire spell)
(Locker room gets filled with light)
(Everyone immediately stops whatever they were doing in the dark)
(Jassu stopps crying and rubbing his shin and begins whistling nonchalantly)
(Tidus removes his hand from Wakka's hair)
(Wakka glares at him)
Tidus: Well, see, I thought your hair was a puppy.
Wakka: (slowly) Uhhhhh-huh.
(Keepa is eating 25 sandwiches at the same time)
Botta: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!! Cap'n Wakka!! Keepa is eating the Official Aurochs Team Lunch!
Wakka: (pats Keepa on the back) Keep it up champ. Maybe you expand enough to block the entire front of the goal! What's your goal?
Keepa: (munch) To be the fattest goal-keepa ever.
Wakka: That's it--
(The locker room door busts open)
(It's the Al Bhed Psyches)
Everyone except Yuna, Lulu, and Tidus: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!
Eigaar: You, do not being afraid! (holds up his hands)
Wakka: Look out everyone. He has a gun.
(All the Aurochs go into a karate stance)
Eigaar: Oh, no, you do not understand. This is a flashlight, see? Because of the power blockage? (holds up flashlight)
(Accidentally drops the flashlight on Nimrook's foot)
Nimrook: OWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH
Wakka: SEE?! DEADLY WEAPON!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN HERE?!!!
Eigaar: I know, we must have gotten off on the wrong start. Blitzball, only, is a simple competition. It has turned us into enemies.
Wakka: Raaaaaaaargh (lunge)
(Lulu grabs his arm)
Wakka: Lulu, they're heathens.
Lulu: Wakka, you're injured.
Wakka: Ohhh ya, my hernia don't feel so good. (lies down on the bench)
Nimrook: (to Eigaar) [HEY! I recognize that word, "heathens". Call him a "bigot".]
Kyou: (to Eigaar) [Call him a "bigot-ass". Everything becomes more insulting if you put the word "ass" on the end of it.]
Eigaar: I am sorry that we injured you earlier. That was not honest.
(Meanwhile there is a circle of angry-looking Aurochs surrounding the Psyches)
Eigaar: Uhh, but please do listen to me! There is a plan against every blitzballer today, to kill us all!
Wakka: No there isn't.
Eigaar: Please, you listen to me. It is Maester Seymour. He's trying to kill us.
Wakka: No he isn't.
Eigaar: We found these blueprints in his pocket--
Wakka: No you didn't.
Eigaar: We think he's trying t--
Wakka: No he's not.
Eigaar: (getting annoyed) Are you going to disagree with all that I say, no matter what?
Wakka: We'll see about that. (he is still lying down on the bench) I really don't believe you. Of course a pagan like yourself wouldn't trust Maester Seymour.
Jassu: Yeah that's right!
Aurochs: Yeah. That's right. Cap'n Wakka's right. Yeah. Uh-huh.
Wakka: You probably just tryin' to frame him. A heathen would want to make an upright Yevonite figurehead out to be the enemy!
Eigaar: Fine, you don't believe us? (to Nimrook and Kyou) [Show him our captain.]
(Nimrook and Kyou went out in the hallway and returned carrying the body of their captain)
Everyone except the Al Bhed Psyches: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(All the Aurochs stopped with their defensive stance and slowly backed up against a far wall of the room)
(Keepa was eating a sandwich but he now looks up and sees the body)
Keepa: AUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH.
(Wakka recognizes the captain as the guy he fought with earlier)
Wakka: Wh--what happened to him?
Eigaar: Maester Seymour did killed him.
Wakka: No he didn...when? How?
Eigaar: After the match, he hit his head on the wall. Our captain died of blunt force trauma.
Wakka: (takes the "blueprints" from Kyou and flips through them) Hey, Keepa and Botta, this drawing kind of looks like you.
Keepa and Botta: Eheheheheheheh. (nervously shifting around)
(Wakka continues flipping through the papers)
(The Psyches stare hopefully at him)
(Wakka looks up from the papers and stares back at them)
(This goes on for 5 minutes)
(Wakka finally throws the papers back in Kyou's face)
(The Psyches sigh loudly)
Wakka: Number one--I can't even tell what in Yevon's name these ugly drawings are.
Eigaar: But--
Wakka: Number two--in my religion when somebody dies we don't carry their body around and show it to everybody.
Eigaar: We--
Wakka: Number three GET OUT OF MY LOCKER ROOM!!!
Eigaar: Please, Captain Wakka, we're begging you--we're all in danger--we--
(The Aurochs shove the Psyches out)
(brief pause)
(The Aurochs slam the door in the Psyches' faces)
Eigaar: (talking to his dead captain) [Oh captain, my captain. We have failed you.]
Kyou: [Would ya shut up, Eigaar? Stop trying to recite ancient poetry from 1,000 years ago!]
(Kyou also talks to the dead captain)
Kyou: [Don't worry...we can't bring you back. But we can keep Seymour from killing anyone else today.]
Nimrook: [I say we start by helping the technical illiterate fix their power supply.]
=*=
(Back in the locker room)
Yuna: Ohh...should I have offered to send their captain to the Farplane?
Wakka: (as if he's talking to a baby) No, Yuna, honey. The Al Bhed are evil. They don't send their dead, like you and me. I think they eat them.
Lulu: Wakka, shut up, you're delirious from your injury.
Wakka: Yes that's right I'm...delicious...from...my....(flops down on bench and goes unconscious again)
=*=
(In the announcers' booth)
(The two announcers argue with each other while the Psyches quietly sneak in and repair their sound and lights)
(The Psyches sneak out)
Announcer #1: Hey the power's back on!
Announcer #2: Yeah, whatever, CIVILIAN STUPID!!!
Announcer #1: You know, I have a name!
Announcer #2: Heh, well, yeah. (rubs the back of his head) I've been working with you for 20 years and you told me your name one time and I kind of forgot it. Ha ha!! I was kind of too embarassed to ask....
Announcer #1: I forgot your name, too!!!!!!
(They both laugh loudly)
Announcer #1: Oh, well, yeah, my name's Bobba.
Announcer #2: I'm Jimma!! Yeah-heaahhh. This is great! (rubs his hands together)
Bobba: Well, shall we get back to announcing this game, JIMMA?
Jimma: Sure 'nough, um...(thinks)...YOU!
Bobba: (groans) (gets on mic) It appears that our power is BACK ON!
Jimma: PRAISE BE TO YEVON!!!!!!!
(Everyone in the audience slowly goes back to their seats and does the Yevon symbol)
Bobba: This is great!!! We're down to the final match of this tourney! This is THE match, people, the one that decides the winner of this year's TOURNAMENT!-ENT!-ENT!-ENT!!
(Jimma punched Bobba in the face and turned off the reverb on the sound control panel)
Bobba: Ow my teeth
Jimma: The next match begins shortly!
=*=
(Locker room)
Wakka: (woke up) Ya hear that? Get ready, guys. (grunt) (sits up) Tidus...no time for warm-ups, ya?
Tidus: Ha, who needs warm-ups? (punches at the air with his fists)
Wakka: I want you guys to listen to Tidus.
Aurochs: Cap'n!
Botta: (jealously) They should be listening to me. I mean--(excitedly) oh boy oh boy!! I'm gonna play!...(jealously) but that should be me...(excitedly) but HOT DIGGITY I GET TO BE IN THE GAME!!!...oh jeez I'm so conflicted here.
Wakka: Keepa, finish that sandwich and eat some pie. I want your fatness blocking that entire goal out there. Nobody is gettin' a blitzball past your belly, ya?
Keepa: Got it. (begins eating pie)
Wakka: Now let's go over the game plan....
=*=