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"BLITZBALLERS"
-Fanfiction by RAVEgirl [RAVEgirl_669@hotmail.com]
-Final Fantasy X, blitzball, and all characters are (c) Squaresoft
=*=*=*=*=*=*=
~Ch. 16: AURON'S FAN CLUB
{Locker Room A--Besaid Aurochs}
(Wakka continues his pep talk)
Wakka: (pulls out his blitzball bracket paper and writes on it) OK--we eliminated the Psyches in the last round. That means we're against the...oh, jeez, ya...the Luca Goers.
Aurochs: (gasp) The Luca Goers?!?!
Tidus: (waves hand dismissively) The "goers"? What kind of name is THAT? We'll BEAT the Goers and we're TAKING that trophy this year!
Wakka: Tidus sit down, I'M still the captain.
(Tidus sits)
Wakka: I know that the Goers have scrubbed us in the past. I know that they're the #1 team in the league. But not for long! We'll BEAT the Goers and we're TAKING that trophy this year!
Tidus: Tsk.
(Letty wheels out a chalkboard)
(Displayed on the chalkboard are various X's and O's and arrows labelled: "Good Neighbor Play", "Diplomatic Stand Down", and "Random Act of Kindness")
Wakka: You see these game plans? (gestures at chalkboard)
Aurochs: Yes Cap'n.
Wakka: RAAAAAAAAAARGH! (takes out an eraser and begins viciously erasing the plans)
(Yuna and Lulu are standing in a corner observing this scene)
Yuna: (quietly) Wakka is scaring me, Lulu.
Lulu: Hm, he's never actually believed that he could win before. It's getting to him now.
Yuna: That, and his personal injury.
Lulu: Oh yes, that too, Yuna.
(Wakka flips the chalkboard over to reveal the other side)
(It also has various X's and O's and arrows labelled: "Sadistic Blowout Formation", "Wrath of a Vengeful Yevon", and there's a 3rd one that Wakka was running out of ideas for play names so he called it "DIE DIE DIEEEEEEE OTHER TEAM!!!!!!!!!!!")
Wakka: We are now using these plays. I want you to forget those other plays. Those are loser plays. We're winners now! Winners!
Aurochs: C-cap'n!!
Tidus: (jumps up) C'MON guys, we can DO it!
Wakka: TIDUS!! Sit down.
(Tidus sits)
Wakka: There's...one more thing...I, uh...have to tell you....
(silence)
Wakka: Cough.
(more silence)
Tidus: Well what's the "thing"?
Wakka: Uh. I--just--wh.... (loses his nerve) Umm, you're all doin' real good out there!
Tidus: That's a boring "thing".
Wakka: (rubs the back of his head)
=*=
Auron: I find that I am famished...that is somewhat surprising to me, as I expected such urges to have left me by now.... (cryptically) For I am no longer of this plane....
(Auron walks up to a little girl with a balloon)
(The little girl leans her head way back to look up at him)
Auron: Excuse me, young woman. Do you know where the closest refreshment vendor is located?
Little Girl: (stares up at Auron with her mouth open)
Auron: (stares back with his mouth closed)
Little Girl: What's "refreshments"?
(The little girl's mother walks up)
Mother: There you are, baby! (picks up little girl and suddenly sees Auron)
(Now the mother is staring at Auron with her mouth open)
Mother: S-sir Auron...?
Auron: Yes.
Mother: (hearts in her eyes while she looks Auron up and down)
Auron: (clears throat and slowly backs away)
(The mother suddenly jumped out and grabbed Auron's arm)
Mother: Oh, don't go, Sir Auron!! (tries to grin cutely by showing her teeth)
Auron: (to himself) Does she mean to bite me? (slowly grips the handle of his katana blade)
Mother: I--oh, this is such a coincidence, running into you like this!
Auron: Certainly. Now can I please have my arm back.
Mother: (grips his arm even tighter)
Auron: I just wanted some nourishment--
(Other woman walks up)
Woman: Oh, my goodness it's Sir Aur--Kathy, is that you?
Mother: (to the other woman) Why, yes it is...now GO AWAY.
Woman: (cheerful yet vicious tone) The last time I checked you were married.
Mother: Shut up! (to Auron) I can divorce!
Auron: My arm is turning slightly bluish in coloration, so I demand that you release my--HEY. That's my other arm--
(The other woman grabbed his other arm)
Auron: Ladies, I must insist, stop tugging on me--that includes you, young lady!!!
(The little girl is sitting on the floor tugging on the hem of his coat)
Auron: What is going ON here?
(Fat woman runs up and hugs Auron)
Auron: (muffled) MMMMMMMMMAAAAAAAGH--!!
(Fat Woman hugged Auron tightly in her arms)
Auron: (suffocates)
(Auron, using his Warrior Monk Training, escaped from her headlock using Escape Technique #4)
Auron: (gasps for air) Alright I've had it! I nearly asphyxiated. What do you want!?
(All the women grin at him suggestively)
(Auron read the writing on Fat Woman's shirt: AURON FAN CLUB)
Auron: I have groupies?...I must respectfully refuse.
Women: Sir Aurooooooon....
Auron: Hey look are those your husbands over there? (points)
(Nobody turns around)
(Auron runs away anyway)
Fat Woman: Hey, I'm not even married.
(Auron ran around a corner and stopped somewhere, panting)
(A spectator walked by)
Spectator: Are you gay or what, man?
Auron: Pardon?
Spectator: You always run away from the ladies.
Auron: Cough.
Spectator: I heard that you refused the hand of a priest's daughter.
Auron: That is none of your concern!!
Spectator: You can tell me. (wink wink)
Auron: Stop that.
(Auron begins walking away)
(The guy follows him)
Auron: Go away!
(The guy begins grinning stupidly at him)
Auron: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!!!
=*=
{Inside the Aurochs' huddle.........}
Tidus: Back in Zanarkand, we have a saying -- if you lose, it's not just the captain's fault. It's the team's.
Botta: (loudly) I think it's the captain's fault.
Tidus: But we won't have to worry about that this year. We're not gonna lose this time. Not with me around. Not with our drive to win. Not when there's this REAL big trophy that we can win! Let's go, Aurochs!
Datto: For Cap'n Wakka!!
Botta: (quietly) Whatever.
Aurochs: YEAH!
=*=
"BLITZBALLERS"
-Fanfiction by RAVEgirl [RAVEgirl_669@hotmail.com]
-Final Fantasy X, blitzball, and all characters are (c) Squaresoft
=*=*=*=*=*=*=
~Ch. 16: AURON'S FAN CLUB
{Locker Room A--Besaid Aurochs}
(Wakka continues his pep talk)
Wakka: (pulls out his blitzball bracket paper and writes on it) OK--we eliminated the Psyches in the last round. That means we're against the...oh, jeez, ya...the Luca Goers.
Aurochs: (gasp) The Luca Goers?!?!
Tidus: (waves hand dismissively) The "goers"? What kind of name is THAT? We'll BEAT the Goers and we're TAKING that trophy this year!
Wakka: Tidus sit down, I'M still the captain.
(Tidus sits)
Wakka: I know that the Goers have scrubbed us in the past. I know that they're the #1 team in the league. But not for long! We'll BEAT the Goers and we're TAKING that trophy this year!
Tidus: Tsk.
(Letty wheels out a chalkboard)
(Displayed on the chalkboard are various X's and O's and arrows labelled: "Good Neighbor Play", "Diplomatic Stand Down", and "Random Act of Kindness")
Wakka: You see these game plans? (gestures at chalkboard)
Aurochs: Yes Cap'n.
Wakka: RAAAAAAAAAARGH! (takes out an eraser and begins viciously erasing the plans)
(Yuna and Lulu are standing in a corner observing this scene)
Yuna: (quietly) Wakka is scaring me, Lulu.
Lulu: Hm, he's never actually believed that he could win before. It's getting to him now.
Yuna: That, and his personal injury.
Lulu: Oh yes, that too, Yuna.
(Wakka flips the chalkboard over to reveal the other side)
(It also has various X's and O's and arrows labelled: "Sadistic Blowout Formation", "Wrath of a Vengeful Yevon", and there's a 3rd one that Wakka was running out of ideas for play names so he called it "DIE DIE DIEEEEEEE OTHER TEAM!!!!!!!!!!!")
Wakka: We are now using these plays. I want you to forget those other plays. Those are loser plays. We're winners now! Winners!
Aurochs: C-cap'n!!
Tidus: (jumps up) C'MON guys, we can DO it!
Wakka: TIDUS!! Sit down.
(Tidus sits)
Wakka: There's...one more thing...I, uh...have to tell you....
(silence)
Wakka: Cough.
(more silence)
Tidus: Well what's the "thing"?
Wakka: Uh. I--just--wh.... (loses his nerve) Umm, you're all doin' real good out there!
Tidus: That's a boring "thing".
Wakka: (rubs the back of his head)
=*=
Auron: I find that I am famished...that is somewhat surprising to me, as I expected such urges to have left me by now.... (cryptically) For I am no longer of this plane....
(Auron walks up to a little girl with a balloon)
(The little girl leans her head way back to look up at him)
Auron: Excuse me, young woman. Do you know where the closest refreshment vendor is located?
Little Girl: (stares up at Auron with her mouth open)
Auron: (stares back with his mouth closed)
Little Girl: What's "refreshments"?
(The little girl's mother walks up)
Mother: There you are, baby! (picks up little girl and suddenly sees Auron)
(Now the mother is staring at Auron with her mouth open)
Mother: S-sir Auron...?
Auron: Yes.
Mother: (hearts in her eyes while she looks Auron up and down)
Auron: (clears throat and slowly backs away)
(The mother suddenly jumped out and grabbed Auron's arm)
Mother: Oh, don't go, Sir Auron!! (tries to grin cutely by showing her teeth)
Auron: (to himself) Does she mean to bite me? (slowly grips the handle of his katana blade)
Mother: I--oh, this is such a coincidence, running into you like this!
Auron: Certainly. Now can I please have my arm back.
Mother: (grips his arm even tighter)
Auron: I just wanted some nourishment--
(Other woman walks up)
Woman: Oh, my goodness it's Sir Aur--Kathy, is that you?
Mother: (to the other woman) Why, yes it is...now GO AWAY.
Woman: (cheerful yet vicious tone) The last time I checked you were married.
Mother: Shut up! (to Auron) I can divorce!
Auron: My arm is turning slightly bluish in coloration, so I demand that you release my--HEY. That's my other arm--
(The other woman grabbed his other arm)
Auron: Ladies, I must insist, stop tugging on me--that includes you, young lady!!!
(The little girl is sitting on the floor tugging on the hem of his coat)
Auron: What is going ON here?
(Fat woman runs up and hugs Auron)
Auron: (muffled) MMMMMMMMMAAAAAAAGH--!!
(Fat Woman hugged Auron tightly in her arms)
Auron: (suffocates)
(Auron, using his Warrior Monk Training, escaped from her headlock using Escape Technique #4)
Auron: (gasps for air) Alright I've had it! I nearly asphyxiated. What do you want!?
(All the women grin at him suggestively)
(Auron read the writing on Fat Woman's shirt: AURON FAN CLUB)
Auron: I have groupies?...I must respectfully refuse.
Women: Sir Aurooooooon....
Auron: Hey look are those your husbands over there? (points)
(Nobody turns around)
(Auron runs away anyway)
Fat Woman: Hey, I'm not even married.
(Auron ran around a corner and stopped somewhere, panting)
(A spectator walked by)
Spectator: Are you gay or what, man?
Auron: Pardon?
Spectator: You always run away from the ladies.
Auron: Cough.
Spectator: I heard that you refused the hand of a priest's daughter.
Auron: That is none of your concern!!
Spectator: You can tell me. (wink wink)
Auron: Stop that.
(Auron begins walking away)
(The guy follows him)
Auron: Go away!
(The guy begins grinning stupidly at him)
Auron: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!!!
=*=
{Inside the Aurochs' huddle.........}
Tidus: Back in Zanarkand, we have a saying -- if you lose, it's not just the captain's fault. It's the team's.
Botta: (loudly) I think it's the captain's fault.
Tidus: But we won't have to worry about that this year. We're not gonna lose this time. Not with me around. Not with our drive to win. Not when there's this REAL big trophy that we can win! Let's go, Aurochs!
Datto: For Cap'n Wakka!!
Botta: (quietly) Whatever.
Aurochs: YEAH!
=*=