Disclaimer:
All things not Allosia and Gabriel and other random OCs belong to JKR. Hell, she can have my OCs if she wants too. No attempt to make anything other than amusement here.
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They leaned against each other, at the edge of the alcove, watching their son sleep.
"He looks like you," Allosia said quietly.
Snape made a noise of agreement, then, "the eyes are yours."
She nodded; it was true. On that face that was long and already angular for so young a child were eyes that were quite as almond shaped as her own. And where Snape's glittered black his were a light brown that Allosia imagined might become tinged with green as her own were as he aged. The bone structure though, was all her husband's.
Gabriel's hair was as black as theirs and seemed likely to be as unruly. For the moment it was all kept quite short, except the bangs, which with his side part hung to his nose. If Snape remembered this as his own hairstyle as a child, he never commented on it to Allosia.
He sighed loudly then.
"What?" she asked, twisting her head to look at him.
"Just remembering," he said softly.
"When this was ours?"
He pursed his lips and nodded.
"You don't regret Gabriel do you?"
"No," he said, making the word long. "He's wonderful." Snape's voice remained distant.
"Or marrying me?"
"Gods no, absolutely not."
"I know it hasn't been easy lately."
"I just regret not having the tools for you both," he said quietly.
"You do alright," she said, knowing this wasn't a time to confront the small and not so miseries of their lives.
"Ah, but will I do alright when we have no choice but for him to attend Hogwarts? Will I do alright when this war ends not in months or even years? This is a terrible microcosm, Allosia, especially should the boy do more than look like me."
She looked at him sharply in the way he always did when he worried his failings, both imagined and not, were likely to have been passed on. "That's a long way away, Severus. We'll all be wiser then."
"And I will be no more patient."
She chuckled at this. "Let's go to bed," she whispered, brushing her fingers lightly against his robe.
She curled around him, and they both lay clearly awake in the darkness for some time. Finally, she whispered, "Tell me about Lucius."
Snape remained motionless, but did not refuse. Allosia knew if she waited long enough he would tell the story.
"Our first year, was not pleasant. Well, none of them were really. At any rate, Lucius was in my business from the Sorting on. Far too interested in my heritage, had heard things about the Snapes and so forth and so on. Not much of it was untrue as I'm sure you've gleaned from all my melodramatic warnings by now."
Allosia snorted at his attempt at self-deprecation. "Go on."
"I didn't find it pleasant, or comfortable. I wanted to study. I had tasks for myself, plans. I don't really know to what degree this goes on amongst girls, but it was not uncommon then, and it doesn't seem to be any more uncommon now, for younger boys to forge," he paused, looking for the word, "allegiances with older ones. Sometimes they were sexual. And in those cases many of them were not, strictly speaking, consensual.
"Lucius, somehow had gotten himself tangled up with a sixth year by the name of Evan Riechart, who was one of those Slytherins even most of us had the good sense to try to avoid. Not as powerful as he thought he was, but a talented wizard none the less. Aggressive, dangerous and intimidating.
"While Lucius mocked my long limbs and breeding, Riechart would just watch me. I was eleven, and unlike Lucius, did not, in fact, understand the intent, until it was made perfectly clear to me after he shoved me into a wall in a stairwell one day. I presume, you don't need the details."
"No, continue."
"I had a few options. The first was just to deal with it. Make an alliance or spend the next two years trying to avoid him. The second, which wasn't satisfactory at all, was to report him – boys will be boys, especially Slytherin boys. Not the best idea. So I waited, until an answer presented itself, which, as he developed a penchant for hurting Lucius, it did."
"You reported his abuse of Lucius," Allosia said, understanding.
"Exactly. Second year. Lucius, for his part was furious, convinced I'd done it just to humiliate him, which I hadn't exactly, that was just a side benefit. The goal was to keep Reichart away from me, without making myself look weak or impolitic. And I, wanting to calm Lucius down somehow eventually managed to convince him I did it out of concern for him, which, I'll tell you right now, is one of the stupidest, least informed decisions of my life.
"After Reichart graduated, Lucius began to pursue me, after all, I cared. It was ugly, and a bit public, and Lucius somehow managed to make me look weak and contemptible for my feigned concerned. For my part, I was cornered. If my concern was false, all my motives became exposed and I was in a mess with my peers; if it was sincere, I looked weak and Lucius was still after me.
"Eventually, I rejected him, rather publicly, and he decided the whole thing had been one elaborate setup for me to humiliate him. Which, it was, I just wish I had thought of it at the time. From that point on our enmity was rather intense, and only continued to grow as alliance after alliance was forced on us by circumstance. He needed my skills, and I needed his rather accessible charisma. That I made the choices I later did in part for his approval only galls me more.
"All of it remains an ever-present if irrelevant issue, and is no doubt the source of some of what discomforted you about this evenings events."
More than anything, Allosia was struck by how still he had remained for the entire tale. She recognized this as concern for her reaction. She kissed the center of his back, curved more pronouncedly because of the angle at which they tended to rest.
"Thank you for telling me," she said.
He nodded.
"You were quite young to be dealing with something so complex."
Snape shrugged. "It's the nature of the beast."
For a long time then, they lay quietly, until Allosia finally drifted to sleep.
All things not Allosia and Gabriel and other random OCs belong to JKR. Hell, she can have my OCs if she wants too. No attempt to make anything other than amusement here.
----------
They leaned against each other, at the edge of the alcove, watching their son sleep.
"He looks like you," Allosia said quietly.
Snape made a noise of agreement, then, "the eyes are yours."
She nodded; it was true. On that face that was long and already angular for so young a child were eyes that were quite as almond shaped as her own. And where Snape's glittered black his were a light brown that Allosia imagined might become tinged with green as her own were as he aged. The bone structure though, was all her husband's.
Gabriel's hair was as black as theirs and seemed likely to be as unruly. For the moment it was all kept quite short, except the bangs, which with his side part hung to his nose. If Snape remembered this as his own hairstyle as a child, he never commented on it to Allosia.
He sighed loudly then.
"What?" she asked, twisting her head to look at him.
"Just remembering," he said softly.
"When this was ours?"
He pursed his lips and nodded.
"You don't regret Gabriel do you?"
"No," he said, making the word long. "He's wonderful." Snape's voice remained distant.
"Or marrying me?"
"Gods no, absolutely not."
"I know it hasn't been easy lately."
"I just regret not having the tools for you both," he said quietly.
"You do alright," she said, knowing this wasn't a time to confront the small and not so miseries of their lives.
"Ah, but will I do alright when we have no choice but for him to attend Hogwarts? Will I do alright when this war ends not in months or even years? This is a terrible microcosm, Allosia, especially should the boy do more than look like me."
She looked at him sharply in the way he always did when he worried his failings, both imagined and not, were likely to have been passed on. "That's a long way away, Severus. We'll all be wiser then."
"And I will be no more patient."
She chuckled at this. "Let's go to bed," she whispered, brushing her fingers lightly against his robe.
She curled around him, and they both lay clearly awake in the darkness for some time. Finally, she whispered, "Tell me about Lucius."
Snape remained motionless, but did not refuse. Allosia knew if she waited long enough he would tell the story.
"Our first year, was not pleasant. Well, none of them were really. At any rate, Lucius was in my business from the Sorting on. Far too interested in my heritage, had heard things about the Snapes and so forth and so on. Not much of it was untrue as I'm sure you've gleaned from all my melodramatic warnings by now."
Allosia snorted at his attempt at self-deprecation. "Go on."
"I didn't find it pleasant, or comfortable. I wanted to study. I had tasks for myself, plans. I don't really know to what degree this goes on amongst girls, but it was not uncommon then, and it doesn't seem to be any more uncommon now, for younger boys to forge," he paused, looking for the word, "allegiances with older ones. Sometimes they were sexual. And in those cases many of them were not, strictly speaking, consensual.
"Lucius, somehow had gotten himself tangled up with a sixth year by the name of Evan Riechart, who was one of those Slytherins even most of us had the good sense to try to avoid. Not as powerful as he thought he was, but a talented wizard none the less. Aggressive, dangerous and intimidating.
"While Lucius mocked my long limbs and breeding, Riechart would just watch me. I was eleven, and unlike Lucius, did not, in fact, understand the intent, until it was made perfectly clear to me after he shoved me into a wall in a stairwell one day. I presume, you don't need the details."
"No, continue."
"I had a few options. The first was just to deal with it. Make an alliance or spend the next two years trying to avoid him. The second, which wasn't satisfactory at all, was to report him – boys will be boys, especially Slytherin boys. Not the best idea. So I waited, until an answer presented itself, which, as he developed a penchant for hurting Lucius, it did."
"You reported his abuse of Lucius," Allosia said, understanding.
"Exactly. Second year. Lucius, for his part was furious, convinced I'd done it just to humiliate him, which I hadn't exactly, that was just a side benefit. The goal was to keep Reichart away from me, without making myself look weak or impolitic. And I, wanting to calm Lucius down somehow eventually managed to convince him I did it out of concern for him, which, I'll tell you right now, is one of the stupidest, least informed decisions of my life.
"After Reichart graduated, Lucius began to pursue me, after all, I cared. It was ugly, and a bit public, and Lucius somehow managed to make me look weak and contemptible for my feigned concerned. For my part, I was cornered. If my concern was false, all my motives became exposed and I was in a mess with my peers; if it was sincere, I looked weak and Lucius was still after me.
"Eventually, I rejected him, rather publicly, and he decided the whole thing had been one elaborate setup for me to humiliate him. Which, it was, I just wish I had thought of it at the time. From that point on our enmity was rather intense, and only continued to grow as alliance after alliance was forced on us by circumstance. He needed my skills, and I needed his rather accessible charisma. That I made the choices I later did in part for his approval only galls me more.
"All of it remains an ever-present if irrelevant issue, and is no doubt the source of some of what discomforted you about this evenings events."
More than anything, Allosia was struck by how still he had remained for the entire tale. She recognized this as concern for her reaction. She kissed the center of his back, curved more pronouncedly because of the angle at which they tended to rest.
"Thank you for telling me," she said.
He nodded.
"You were quite young to be dealing with something so complex."
Snape shrugged. "It's the nature of the beast."
For a long time then, they lay quietly, until Allosia finally drifted to sleep.