=*=*=*=*=*=*=
"ONLY ON BTV"
-Fanfiction by RAVEgirl [RAVEgirl_669@hotmail.com]
-Bust-A-Groove and all characters are (c) 989 Studios, Avex Trax, Enix, Frame Graphics, and Metro
=*=*=*=*=*=*=
~Ch. 5: DIRTY DANCING
It was a warm night...Hiro-kun was out by the pool smokin' a cigarette as usual. He looked up at the sky and got lost in his thoughts. He was unable to sleep because he was so excited about the competition tomorrow--
"cough cough," somebody behind him coughed.
Hiro turned around to see a little girl in her PJ's who was hiding behind a plant. "Hey, I know you...you are that girl from the elevator." (She didn't say anything.) "Why are you being behind that plant, there? Are you trying to be a spy on me? Haha. That was a joke."
Shorty came out from behind the plant with a nervous laugh. "I--I was just takin' a walk. I'm real excited about that competition." She smiled up at Hiro.
"Yeah me too," Hiro said. "You know, a little girl needs a lot of sleep...."
"I am not a LITTLE GIRL."
Hiro smiled. "I'm sorry, I was meaning to say 'young woman'. Look, I was just about to go inside and to sleep myself, you know?" He patted Shorty on the head like a puppy. "See you tomorrow."
Shorty blushed a little and stared at him as he walked off.
=*=
(Day 1 of the Competition)
The dancers filed into the set which was plainly decorated with a couple of stage lights. Strike collared his shorter counterparts before they could enter the room.
"gfskack," Heat strangled.
"We all make an entrance together. They gonna learn to mess with the--(sigh)--the 3 Homeys," Strike stated.
"Can we temporarily break the alliance and walk in separately? Hiro-kun's dressed homosexually," Heat requested.
Hiro was wearing a sailor outfit complete with a striped shirt and a white pair of pants with creases ironed into it. He even had a hat and sunglasses.
"No," Strike commanded.
Heat began singing the song "In the Navy" while they walked in trying to look as "homey" as possible.
=*=
(In the control room)
"Ooh that's my favorite song," said James Suneoka with little cartoony hearts coming out of his head.
=*=
Cameramen filmed the very start.
"The tournament is one-on-one, elimination style," DJ Dangerous (the official DJ of the tournament) announced. He suddenly got a ring on his cell phone. He answered. "Yo, DJ Dangerous speakin'," he said.
"Helloooooo Bradford~!!" said James Suneoka on the other end of the line.
"My name's DJ Dangerous now!" the DJ hissed into the phone while turning away from the contestants who were staring at him eagerly. "What do you want?!"
"Put the fat guy and the exotic dancer on first," James whispered.
"Why?"
"I want to eliminate the less popular dancers first. According to this popularity poll which I put on this website I made, the least popular character is Hamm with .008% of the votes. The MOST popular appears to be the luscious Italian man, Hiro-kun."
"YES!!!!!" Hiro cheered. He had used his laptop to access the website and vote for himself fifty million times.
The DJ suddenly realized Hiro was standing next to him eavesdropping. He inched away.
"OK, whatever you say boss," Bradford (I mean, DJ Dangerous) said. "But do we really have to get rid of the stripper?"
"Yes," James insisted.
"Fine," DJ Dangerous sighed reluctantly. He hung up his cell phone and announced the first match: "HAMM vs. PINKY!! You're up. Let's bust a move! -- I mean, groove!"
The overweight man from Burger Dog, and an exotic woman dressed in pink hooker-style clothing, stepped up.
=*=
James Suneoka looked at his chart of ratings. The ratings plummeted.
"Oh no we're boring!" Suneoka said. The businesslike woman in the room with him was looking at her wristwatch.
"I'll make it more interesting, I promise!" James sobbed because the woman was about to rip up their business contract.
=*=
(Shorty's house -- TV room, where one whole wall is a giant TV)
"See?" Shorty's father said to his wife. "It's just a nice, clean dancing competition. Shorty'll be alright."
=*=
Hamm's theme song was playing and occasionally the dancer's shoes would make squeaking noises on the floor. It was very boring. The other dancers were half-asleep except for Shorty who was entirely asleep.
Ring ring....
"DJ Dangerous," the DJ spoke his own name by way of greeting.
"Hi, it's James again."
"Wh -- we're on LIVE!! Go away!"
"Do something to make the show more interesting!! Now!"
"Um, uhh," the DJ said. "I'll see what I can do." He put his phone back in his vest pocket.
Hamm was shuffling around in place and Pinky was dancing motown style.
"Ah I know." The DJ ran outside and came back with a pole so Pinky could do some strip club dancing.
Ring --
"What!"
"The ratings just went up one half of a point. Now do something else. Get that fat guy a pole, too."
"I don't think that will work, Mr. Suneoka."
"Well you think of something better."
DJ Dangerous looked at the two dancers. "Oh wow this is pretty close! I'd say they're tied even though I didn't really know you could score dancing. Who will win? WHO! WILL! WIN!?"
The dancer's foreheads were shiny with sweat. Hamm accidentally tripped Pinky. They both stumbled a little bit.
"WOAH the fat man just stripped the tripper, I mean, well you know what I meant!" the DJ said. "Is Hamm making a comeback?"
"RRRRRGH~!!" Pinky grunted. She panted, "You fatass, stop screwing me up."
"Huh?" Hamm said. He turned to Pinky and knocked her over with his fat stomach in the process.
Pinky stood up, her eye twitching. "ALRIGHT THAT'S *IT*!!!!!!" She reached into her top and produced a deck of cards. "Let's see what the future holds!" She held a card to her forehead for a few seconds then threw it at Hamm--it was the DEATH CARD!?!?
Everything in the room went pitch black. "Spirits in the room," Pinky said in a deep voice, "speak to me now. I have foretold his sentence of death, but you must tell me, HOW will he die?"
"Wh-what spirits?" Heat whispered from the sidelines.
"HAHAHAHAH, HA!!" Pinky laughed while her shadow spirits came out of the ceiling.
DJ Dangerous frantically tried flipping on the light switch in the room but to no avail.
On one wall, the silhouette of a fat man with a bad haircut (it looked a lot like Hamm) was shown. A loud clap of thunder echoed in the room and a bolt of lightning was shown hitting the shadow-man on the wall. He fell....
"The future is now," Pinky announced.
Her prophecy acted itself out on the real Hamm. FLASH!!!!....CRASH.....!!!!!!!!
"WAAAAAAAAARGH," Hamm shouted as his fat body hit the floor. The lights came back on to reveal Hamm sprawled out on the floor.
"OHHHHHHHH NO~!!" DJ Dangerous screamed. "PINKY, YOU'RE DISQUALIFIED! What the hell was that?!?!?!?!"
Ri--
"WHAT NOW?!?!" DJ Dangerous spoke through gritted teeth into his cell phone.
"THAT WAS FANTASTIC~!!!!! Our ratings went up a BAJILLION points right then!!!!"
"But with all due respect, Mr. Suneoka, that was playing dirty."
Suneoka's response changed the whole competition..."So?" he said with no emotion in his voice.
"M...Mr. Suneoka."
"Ooooh!! Ohhh! Put me on the microphone, I'd like to address the remaining dancers."
"...whatever you say," the DJ said, pressing the END button on his Nokia then hitting the CONTROL RM button on the switchboard nearby his turntables.
"HELLOOOOOOO!!" Suneoka's voice greeted everyone. "What a fabulous match, no?"
"Yah, whatever, it was alright," Heat agreed, shrugging. He was the only dancer who was unphased by the voice coming from nowhere.
"Well, I'm afraid this match is null and void!! Pinky is disqualified because of her dirty tactics, but what an AMAAAAAAZING card trick~!!!!! Hamm is also unable to compete because of the multiple trauma he's just recieved!"
A mature blonde woman in a skintight blue babysuit looked up at the ceiling. (Meanwhile, Hiro-kun was lookin' at her.) "Excuse me, but is Hamm dead?" the woman (Kelly) asked.
"(long pause)....Well I'm not a doctor but I'm sure we'll find out when the paramedics get here."
=*=
(Control room)
James Suneoka cut off the live transmission and grinned at the businesslike woman. "How's THAT for ratings?!"
"Alright, we can keep the show going for at least one more week."
"GLORY, GLORY HALLELHHHHHuhh--" Suneoka fell out of his chair after being high-heeled in the ribcage by the businesslike woman.
"When are we going to get some paramedics for that poor man?" the woman questioned Suneoka.
"Wait, I'm building up suspense," Suneoka said. He held up his hand. "3-2-1...NOW!" Suneoka pressed a button on his control panel.
=*=
(Back at the sound stage)
An electric door suddenly whooshed open and some medics tromped out with a stretcher and medical supplies. They knelt down by Hamm. All the rest of the dancers watched.
"He's perfectly fine, no problems here," one of the medics announced. "His obesity must have acted as a ground against the lightning, or something." The medic then quickly made his exit before somebody asked him to further explain his scientific theory.
"YAY!!!!!!!!" all the other dancers cheered. They all broke into wild applause.
Hamm sat up, perfectly fine. "Woah, what happened? What was that card trick?"
"I didn't mean to hurt you," Pinky sighed. "Well, I did, but I'm sorry now."
They shook hands....
=*=
(Let's take a look inside the 3 Homey Football-Style Huddle):
"That was, like, MAN. Dirty dancing!!" Heat exclaimed. "Did you see that? I didn't know we could summon spirits in the tourney! Ohhh DUDE!!!"
"Shut up fucker. Can't you see what's going on?" Strike said. "The competition is fixed. I'm not sure how it's working, but that--yo! Hiro, we're in HERE."
Hiro's mouth was slightly open and his head was turned almost all the way around so he could watch Kelly, that woman in the tight outfit...woooooooooooooow--SMACK!!!
"Ohhhhuhh...." Hiro fell to the floor after recieving a heavy handed slap to the back of his skull.
"LISTEN to me when I'm talking to you!" Strike yelled, withdrawing his hand. He grabbed the dazed Hiro-kun off the floor and propped him up so he could properly participate in the conversation.
Hiro leaned on Heat.
"Argh," Heat said quietly, afraid to protest for fear of recieving his own concussion.
"We can't win this competition by playing it straight," Strike mused. "We gotta put an edge to our strategy...but how?"
Heat surreptitiously nudged Hiro so that he fell over and leaned on Strike instead.
"AUGH!!!" Strike let Hiro fall back on the floor.
=*=
"ONLY ON BTV"
-Fanfiction by RAVEgirl [RAVEgirl_669@hotmail.com]
-Bust-A-Groove and all characters are (c) 989 Studios, Avex Trax, Enix, Frame Graphics, and Metro
=*=*=*=*=*=*=
~Ch. 5: DIRTY DANCING
It was a warm night...Hiro-kun was out by the pool smokin' a cigarette as usual. He looked up at the sky and got lost in his thoughts. He was unable to sleep because he was so excited about the competition tomorrow--
"cough cough," somebody behind him coughed.
Hiro turned around to see a little girl in her PJ's who was hiding behind a plant. "Hey, I know you...you are that girl from the elevator." (She didn't say anything.) "Why are you being behind that plant, there? Are you trying to be a spy on me? Haha. That was a joke."
Shorty came out from behind the plant with a nervous laugh. "I--I was just takin' a walk. I'm real excited about that competition." She smiled up at Hiro.
"Yeah me too," Hiro said. "You know, a little girl needs a lot of sleep...."
"I am not a LITTLE GIRL."
Hiro smiled. "I'm sorry, I was meaning to say 'young woman'. Look, I was just about to go inside and to sleep myself, you know?" He patted Shorty on the head like a puppy. "See you tomorrow."
Shorty blushed a little and stared at him as he walked off.
=*=
(Day 1 of the Competition)
The dancers filed into the set which was plainly decorated with a couple of stage lights. Strike collared his shorter counterparts before they could enter the room.
"gfskack," Heat strangled.
"We all make an entrance together. They gonna learn to mess with the--(sigh)--the 3 Homeys," Strike stated.
"Can we temporarily break the alliance and walk in separately? Hiro-kun's dressed homosexually," Heat requested.
Hiro was wearing a sailor outfit complete with a striped shirt and a white pair of pants with creases ironed into it. He even had a hat and sunglasses.
"No," Strike commanded.
Heat began singing the song "In the Navy" while they walked in trying to look as "homey" as possible.
=*=
(In the control room)
"Ooh that's my favorite song," said James Suneoka with little cartoony hearts coming out of his head.
=*=
Cameramen filmed the very start.
"The tournament is one-on-one, elimination style," DJ Dangerous (the official DJ of the tournament) announced. He suddenly got a ring on his cell phone. He answered. "Yo, DJ Dangerous speakin'," he said.
"Helloooooo Bradford~!!" said James Suneoka on the other end of the line.
"My name's DJ Dangerous now!" the DJ hissed into the phone while turning away from the contestants who were staring at him eagerly. "What do you want?!"
"Put the fat guy and the exotic dancer on first," James whispered.
"Why?"
"I want to eliminate the less popular dancers first. According to this popularity poll which I put on this website I made, the least popular character is Hamm with .008% of the votes. The MOST popular appears to be the luscious Italian man, Hiro-kun."
"YES!!!!!" Hiro cheered. He had used his laptop to access the website and vote for himself fifty million times.
The DJ suddenly realized Hiro was standing next to him eavesdropping. He inched away.
"OK, whatever you say boss," Bradford (I mean, DJ Dangerous) said. "But do we really have to get rid of the stripper?"
"Yes," James insisted.
"Fine," DJ Dangerous sighed reluctantly. He hung up his cell phone and announced the first match: "HAMM vs. PINKY!! You're up. Let's bust a move! -- I mean, groove!"
The overweight man from Burger Dog, and an exotic woman dressed in pink hooker-style clothing, stepped up.
=*=
James Suneoka looked at his chart of ratings. The ratings plummeted.
"Oh no we're boring!" Suneoka said. The businesslike woman in the room with him was looking at her wristwatch.
"I'll make it more interesting, I promise!" James sobbed because the woman was about to rip up their business contract.
=*=
(Shorty's house -- TV room, where one whole wall is a giant TV)
"See?" Shorty's father said to his wife. "It's just a nice, clean dancing competition. Shorty'll be alright."
=*=
Hamm's theme song was playing and occasionally the dancer's shoes would make squeaking noises on the floor. It was very boring. The other dancers were half-asleep except for Shorty who was entirely asleep.
Ring ring....
"DJ Dangerous," the DJ spoke his own name by way of greeting.
"Hi, it's James again."
"Wh -- we're on LIVE!! Go away!"
"Do something to make the show more interesting!! Now!"
"Um, uhh," the DJ said. "I'll see what I can do." He put his phone back in his vest pocket.
Hamm was shuffling around in place and Pinky was dancing motown style.
"Ah I know." The DJ ran outside and came back with a pole so Pinky could do some strip club dancing.
Ring --
"What!"
"The ratings just went up one half of a point. Now do something else. Get that fat guy a pole, too."
"I don't think that will work, Mr. Suneoka."
"Well you think of something better."
DJ Dangerous looked at the two dancers. "Oh wow this is pretty close! I'd say they're tied even though I didn't really know you could score dancing. Who will win? WHO! WILL! WIN!?"
The dancer's foreheads were shiny with sweat. Hamm accidentally tripped Pinky. They both stumbled a little bit.
"WOAH the fat man just stripped the tripper, I mean, well you know what I meant!" the DJ said. "Is Hamm making a comeback?"
"RRRRRGH~!!" Pinky grunted. She panted, "You fatass, stop screwing me up."
"Huh?" Hamm said. He turned to Pinky and knocked her over with his fat stomach in the process.
Pinky stood up, her eye twitching. "ALRIGHT THAT'S *IT*!!!!!!" She reached into her top and produced a deck of cards. "Let's see what the future holds!" She held a card to her forehead for a few seconds then threw it at Hamm--it was the DEATH CARD!?!?
Everything in the room went pitch black. "Spirits in the room," Pinky said in a deep voice, "speak to me now. I have foretold his sentence of death, but you must tell me, HOW will he die?"
"Wh-what spirits?" Heat whispered from the sidelines.
"HAHAHAHAH, HA!!" Pinky laughed while her shadow spirits came out of the ceiling.
DJ Dangerous frantically tried flipping on the light switch in the room but to no avail.
On one wall, the silhouette of a fat man with a bad haircut (it looked a lot like Hamm) was shown. A loud clap of thunder echoed in the room and a bolt of lightning was shown hitting the shadow-man on the wall. He fell....
"The future is now," Pinky announced.
Her prophecy acted itself out on the real Hamm. FLASH!!!!....CRASH.....!!!!!!!!
"WAAAAAAAAARGH," Hamm shouted as his fat body hit the floor. The lights came back on to reveal Hamm sprawled out on the floor.
"OHHHHHHHH NO~!!" DJ Dangerous screamed. "PINKY, YOU'RE DISQUALIFIED! What the hell was that?!?!?!?!"
Ri--
"WHAT NOW?!?!" DJ Dangerous spoke through gritted teeth into his cell phone.
"THAT WAS FANTASTIC~!!!!! Our ratings went up a BAJILLION points right then!!!!"
"But with all due respect, Mr. Suneoka, that was playing dirty."
Suneoka's response changed the whole competition..."So?" he said with no emotion in his voice.
"M...Mr. Suneoka."
"Ooooh!! Ohhh! Put me on the microphone, I'd like to address the remaining dancers."
"...whatever you say," the DJ said, pressing the END button on his Nokia then hitting the CONTROL RM button on the switchboard nearby his turntables.
"HELLOOOOOOO!!" Suneoka's voice greeted everyone. "What a fabulous match, no?"
"Yah, whatever, it was alright," Heat agreed, shrugging. He was the only dancer who was unphased by the voice coming from nowhere.
"Well, I'm afraid this match is null and void!! Pinky is disqualified because of her dirty tactics, but what an AMAAAAAAZING card trick~!!!!! Hamm is also unable to compete because of the multiple trauma he's just recieved!"
A mature blonde woman in a skintight blue babysuit looked up at the ceiling. (Meanwhile, Hiro-kun was lookin' at her.) "Excuse me, but is Hamm dead?" the woman (Kelly) asked.
"(long pause)....Well I'm not a doctor but I'm sure we'll find out when the paramedics get here."
=*=
(Control room)
James Suneoka cut off the live transmission and grinned at the businesslike woman. "How's THAT for ratings?!"
"Alright, we can keep the show going for at least one more week."
"GLORY, GLORY HALLELHHHHHuhh--" Suneoka fell out of his chair after being high-heeled in the ribcage by the businesslike woman.
"When are we going to get some paramedics for that poor man?" the woman questioned Suneoka.
"Wait, I'm building up suspense," Suneoka said. He held up his hand. "3-2-1...NOW!" Suneoka pressed a button on his control panel.
=*=
(Back at the sound stage)
An electric door suddenly whooshed open and some medics tromped out with a stretcher and medical supplies. They knelt down by Hamm. All the rest of the dancers watched.
"He's perfectly fine, no problems here," one of the medics announced. "His obesity must have acted as a ground against the lightning, or something." The medic then quickly made his exit before somebody asked him to further explain his scientific theory.
"YAY!!!!!!!!" all the other dancers cheered. They all broke into wild applause.
Hamm sat up, perfectly fine. "Woah, what happened? What was that card trick?"
"I didn't mean to hurt you," Pinky sighed. "Well, I did, but I'm sorry now."
They shook hands....
=*=
(Let's take a look inside the 3 Homey Football-Style Huddle):
"That was, like, MAN. Dirty dancing!!" Heat exclaimed. "Did you see that? I didn't know we could summon spirits in the tourney! Ohhh DUDE!!!"
"Shut up fucker. Can't you see what's going on?" Strike said. "The competition is fixed. I'm not sure how it's working, but that--yo! Hiro, we're in HERE."
Hiro's mouth was slightly open and his head was turned almost all the way around so he could watch Kelly, that woman in the tight outfit...woooooooooooooow--SMACK!!!
"Ohhhhuhh...." Hiro fell to the floor after recieving a heavy handed slap to the back of his skull.
"LISTEN to me when I'm talking to you!" Strike yelled, withdrawing his hand. He grabbed the dazed Hiro-kun off the floor and propped him up so he could properly participate in the conversation.
Hiro leaned on Heat.
"Argh," Heat said quietly, afraid to protest for fear of recieving his own concussion.
"We can't win this competition by playing it straight," Strike mused. "We gotta put an edge to our strategy...but how?"
Heat surreptitiously nudged Hiro so that he fell over and leaned on Strike instead.
"AUGH!!!" Strike let Hiro fall back on the floor.
=*=