Aloha, Hawaii - Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Ummm.. if we owned them, we wouldn't be making fanfiction of them. This would actually be happening.

AN: Jess apologies for not being able to wreak havoc in Best Buy.

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Jane almost growled, walking as fast as she could up the steps. She finally whipped around outside their room. "Would you STOP following me?!" Neil blinked, thinking as fast as he could.

"It's my room too." A brief 'grrrrrrrrrrr' came from her, and she unlocked the door, walking inside quickly.

She thought over how she was going to get rid of him so she could finally have some peace and quiet on this so called "vacation." She tried to think of things to say that would make him leave but she couldn't think of anything. Then she remembered. Unless Neil absolutely, positively had something he had to buy, he hated shopping. So did she for the most part but it seemed like the only way to get rid of him. With a grin she went over to her suitcase and took out some money. "I have to go shopping, Neil. I would ask you to come with but I know how much you hate it."

She started to walk out the door. "Hey, wait for me," he called, grabbing his own money and chasing after her.

She stopped and turned around. "Why are you still following me? You hate going shopping."

He grinned at her. "Normally, but I don't think I'd mind if you were there trying on bikinis." She rolled her eyes.

"You're a freak, you know that?"

"Thank you." He nodded happily, walking along side of her. She couldn't help but smile a bit as he looked away from her. He opened the door for her so she could enter the mall that was a block or so from the beach. "After you, Madam." She gave him a look and he smiled. "Ok." He cut her off, walking in front of her and letting the door close behind him. Instead of turning, he kept walking. She put her hand on the 'PULL' sign, smiling slightly before entering.

She hadn't gone very far before Neil stopped directly in front of her. "What are you doing?" she asked annoyed.

"Very slowly turn around and run the other way. Those girls are back," he whispered. He started taking a few steps backwards. "They must be psychic," he complained.

"Psycho," she corrected him, following his lead in walking away.

Just then Erica and Jess saw them. "Jane, Neil!" they called, jogging over to them. They groaned in unison. "Good to see you two again. Come with me," Erica said, grabbing Neil's arm and dragging away.

He looked back to Jane for help but Jess had grabbed a hold of her and started dragging her the other way. "Where's she taking him?" Jane asked concerned for Neil's safety and her own. These girls scared her.

Jess shrugged. "Don't worry. He's safer with a phantom than he is with her."

"That's not very reassuring," Jane said, watching Erica drag Neil away.

"Come on," Jess said, pulling her towards a store. "You need a new swimsuit."

Jane looked back at Neil, and saw him staring at her with a 'Help' look. She gave him her best 'your fault' look before being tugged out of his sight.

"Where are we going?" Neil asked Erica. She shrugged.

"Dunno." He blinked.

"You 'dunno'? Why did you just drag me away from the fun time I was going to have torturing Jane---"

"You were gonna stare at her while she tried stuff on. I think that's more torturing yourself, since she's mad at you."

"Like I even have a chance with her." Erica raised an eyebrow, then went back to looking for a store to keep him busy in.

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Jess walked up, holding about ten skimpy bikinis. "Try these on." Before Jane could reply, she was shoved in a dressing room, and heard Jess lean on the door to keep her in there. "And lemme see when you have one on."

Jane sighed. She was cursed, wasn't she? To attract the annoying ones? She was like flypaper for idiots, or something.

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Erica sighed as she dragged Neil through the mall. He kept on complaining and she was pretty sure she heard something about her and Jess being "completely psycho" in there somewhere. She found a Best Buy and shoved him inside. "Have fun, tech boy."

Neil took one look at all the electronic equipment and broke into a huge grin. "Now this is my kind of store," he said, walking around. He picked up a strange looking device and started pushing all the buttons on it. "I wonder what this does." After a few moments, he put it back down and moved on to something more interesting. "Playstation 2? These haven't been around for ages." He picked up the controller. "I wonder what game's in here." He finally got it to work and looked up at the huge video screen. "Final Fantasy X?" He looked over his shoulder at Erica. "Hey, what's Final Fantasy?"

She groaned and hit her head off the nearest shelf. "Only the movie that you starred in," she muttered.

"I was in a movie?"

"NEVERmind."

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"Would you just come out?"

"I feel like a hootch." A snort came from outside the dressing room.

"You said hootch." Another snicker. "Show me or I'll tell Neil you fought with that guy with all that sunscreen on the beach and LOST." Now it was Jane's turn to snicker. Lose to Gray? Maybe Neil (Ryan would go easy on him), but not her.

"Fine." She stepped out, wearing a yellow bikini, covering enough so Jane didn't look like she was in a Playboy ad but not covering enough for a JCPenney catalog.

Jess clapped. "Yay. We'll take that one, try on the others." Jane sighed, walking back into the dressing room. For a minute she thought about dashing off before Jess could catch her, but she looked ridiculous. Eyeing the stack of bikinis waiting to be tried on, she sighed again. it was going to be a long night.

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Neil was having a blast in Best Buy, pressing every single last button on every piece of equipment in the entire store. Erica followed him around, making sure that security wasn't getting too close. "How does this work?" he asked, picking up something that didn't do anything no matter what button he pushed.

"I think it's meant to amuse button-pushers," Erica told him, picking it up and putting it back on the shelf. "Hey, are you taking Jane to the dance on Saturday night?"

"Dance, what dance?" he asked, wondering how he was going to run away. He looked nervously towards the door.

"The dance they're having on Saturday night. It's going to be so much fun. Jess and I are going with our boyfriends."

'All the more reason not to go,' Neil thought.

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Meanwhile, Jess had pulled Jane into a different store, lugging the bikini bag along side of her. "Oooh!" She smiled. "This'll look great on you, plus it'll be warm outside, so you can't...do...the pantsy thing you're doing now." Jane looked down at her grey tank top and baggy blue cargo pants. Maybe they weren't on duty, but the outfit had gotten comfortable.

"Um, you realize those...cover...like...nothing, right?" she tilted her head at the pair of short shorts Jess was holding out in front of her.

"That's the point." She picked up a baby blue halter top and a few other things before pushing Jane into another dressing room, sliding a shoebox under the door. "They match the outfit." A pair of baby blue strappy sandals stared up at her, and Jane sighed, looking at the black short-shorts.


"Great."

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"Where are we going now?" Neil asked as Erica continued to drag him throughout the mall.

She stopped to look around. "Someplace to keep you occupied for a while." Neil looked around. There really wasn't much in this part of the mall. It was mainly the section for little kids. "I've got it!" she exclaimed, snapping her fingers. She dragged him into... The Disney Store!

"The Disney Store? What am I supposed to do in here?" This was starting to turn into one of his worst nightmares.

He watched in horror as she pulled out two plastic swords and tossed one towards him. "En guard!" She took a fighting pose.

"What the hell?" He looked from her to the sword in his hand, wondering, not for the first time, what she was on.

"Come on, you pansy!" She hit him in the arm with the sword.

"Oww! Couldn't you have found something else?" he asked, as he joined in her game of sword-fighting.

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Meanwhile, Jane was trying to get away from Jess and out of the bathing suit store. She stood in the dressing room a minute, thinking of what to do. Then she grabbed a random bikini and poked her head out the door, looking at Jess. "Could you get me this in a larger size?"

"A larger size? You're a fricking stick..." Jess walked off grumbling, looking through the racks. Jane emerged, fully dressed, and calmly walked past her, trying not to get anyone's attention.

She made it to the door, almost out, when Jess spotted her. "Hey!" She ran up and grabbed her arm, looking at her. "I know you don't want to keep your hands off your boyfriend but you have to learn to be away from him awhile."

"What?! I do not! He is not!" Jane just glared, unable to find the words.

"Oh yes that was the greatest comeback ever. Now come on, just pay for the stuff and then we'll go." She smiled innocently, and Jane gave in, just to get her off her back. After they had paid and walked out, Jess looked around. "Now...where are they... Oh! Disney store."

Jane blinked as she started to walk. "How the hell...? What the hell? The Disney Store?"

&-&-&-&

Meanwhile, Erica had just got done kicking Neil's ass... again.... "You suck at this," she said, looking down on him.

Neil stood back up, trying to ignore the people laughing at him. "I want a rematch." There was no way he was going to admit defeat to a cracked-up psycho girl.

Erica shrugged. They were just about to start a new fight when Jane and Jess walked up on them. "What are you two doing?"

"It's obvious," Jess said gleefully, "they're about to fight. I have to see this." Neil looked over at Erica, who was smirking at him. Maybe, just maybe, he could persuade them to leave him alone if he could beat her just once.

"What's the matter? Afraid to be humiliated by a girl again?" Erica taunted.

The two started fighting again with Jess cheering them on. "Go, Neil! Kick her ass!" They fought for a few minutes, neither one exactly winning, then Erica put Neil in a headlock. Jess continued to cheer Neil on. "Go! Go for her weak spot! Poke her in the stomach she's like a Pillsbury doughboy!"

He did so and Erica went "Hoo-hoo!" like the Pillsbury doughboy and let him go. "Grrrrr... Jess, why'd you do that?"

Jess almost fell over laughing, clinging to Jane so she didn't fall. "Because it's hilarious and you do it EVERY TIME." She eyed them up. "...Where else did you two go?"

Neil blinked. "Some place called B--"

"Borders! The bookstore." Erica butted in quickly. Jess narrowed her eyes.

"There is no Borders here."

"Burger king?"

"Where's the fun little toy?"

Erica sighed. "Fine... we went to Best Buy."

"WHAT?!?! YOU WENT TO BEST BUY WITHOUT ME?!" All the people near them looked at her. "I hate you. I'm not talking to you now." She crossed her arms, then looked at Jane and Neil. "Oh but before I don't talk to you I have to tell you about how Jane tried to sneak away because she can't keep her paws off him." She smirked.

Erica grinned evilly. "Really? Is that true, Jane?"

Jane crossed her arms and glared at her. "No."

"No? Really? I don't believe you." She reached into her pocket. "Before I forget, here are the tickets for that dance I was telling you about." She handed two tickets to him. "Say good-bye to the nice people," she said, as she walked away.

"Bye. See you soon!" Jess said with a big grin on her face.

"Over my dead body," Jane mumbled as they walked off. She turned to Neil. "What was that all about?"

"Nothing important. They're going to be there anyway." Jane nodded in understanding.

"I think we should find somewhere they can't find us." Jane said, thinking of a place where they would be safe.

"Agreed. But can we find something to eat first?" Neil said, rubbing his stomach as it growled. "I'm starving."