Chapter Three
The next morning at about 7:00 I got up, got dressed, and sleepily headed out to the DX Station. I peeled away from the curb, going at least 50. As far as it goes, I usually follow all the rules or at least when I don't I never let anyone in charge know it. But speeding was a different matter. I loved the speed. It was apart of me I guess you could say. I just didn't pay any attention to speed limits. For me, there was no limit. It was like flying. I loved it. In some cases though, I just hoped that the wind would really wake me up. A cop stopped me half way there but I flipped my hair and smiled and he let me off with a warning. Cops are so easy. I sped off and slammed into the station at 55 mph. I got outta the car, yawned, stretched, and walked to the door. It was unlocked. Strange. Usually I'm the first one there. I heard quiet noises coming from the back. "Hello?", I called out. I went to the back room slowly. If a Grease was there, he might have a heater and a Grease or a Soc for that matter, with a heater, is almost certainly VERY dangerous. You see, a heater just happens to be a gun. I went to the door. It was open a crack. I looked inside, fearing the worst. But when I opened the door it wasn't someone trying to rob us. It was someone else entirely. "Soda? What are you doing here so early?" I said in surprise. " What's the matter?" Soda was standing, leaning rather, with his back to the side wall. He was crying. Harder than I've ever seen him cry. His shirt was open and he hadn't even put on his shoes. I know he hates them, but he usually just slips them on as soon as he walks in. They weren't even there. He looked at me in slight surprise, tears still running down his face. "Oh, Belle. It's Ponyboy and Sandy. They're both gone!", he managed to gasp in between quiet sobs. And with that, he let out a loud sob and slid to the floor. I'd never seen Soda like this. Not this bad. Not ever this bad. My eyes started glistening. I hated seeing Soda like this. I knew that this was REALLY bad. It tore me up inside. It was so unlike the eternally happy, always looking at the good side, forever making you laugh Sodapop. I thought, 'Ok Belle, just do what you usually do. Don't lose control.' I was starting to shake a little. My breath came in little gasps. 'Don't run to him. Don't you dare let him know you love him. Don't rush into his arms.' But I saw him there, crying harder than I've ever seen, and I ignored my own thoughts and warnings. I rushed to him. I mean, I really RAN. I slid to the floor beside him and he turned and looked at me, unable to stop crying. I threw my arms around him. "Oh Sodapop, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." I looked in his gorgeous brown eyes and for once in my life I let my love shine through my eyes into his. I'd never let anyone know, not even Lem, how much I really loved him. I loved him with all my heart. A look of final understanding dawned in his. And something else that I couldn't quite place. He put his arms around me and cried into my shoulder. Not the petty tears that some people have when they get in trouble or don't have their way, but really cried. Cried like someone who's world has suddenly come crashing down around him and he can't a thing about it. And he wasn't loud and he wasn't pathetic when he cried. He was soft and quiet, but he just let all of it out. If he had been holding back some tears before, he let them flow, probably for the first time in his life, like a waterfall. Like I always wanted him to. I stroked his hair. "It's gonna be ok Sodapop. Everything's gonna turn out all right." I whispered in his ear over and over as I rocked slightly back and forth. After a while, he finally stopped. He lifted his head and unwrapped his arms from around me. It took a lot of control, but I finally let go of him. Tears were silently streaming slowly down my face. "Hey, I'll be all right Belle. What're you crying for? Don't you think one bawl-baby on staff is enough?", he said, with a slight smile. I laughed a little between the tears. "Oh, Soda. I HATE seeing you like this. It just tears me up inside."
"Oh, Belle. I had no idea. I mean, I know that you flirt with me, but all girls do. And you flirt with a lot of other guys too, although you don't seem to know you're doing it. Flirting with me seems to be a built in instict for most girls."
"I know you didn't know Soda. And you're right, I guess I really don't know that I'm flirting. It's just... built in. But it's different with you Soda. I've tried so hard not to let you know how I really feel about you. That your not just another cute guy to me."
"Why Belle?"
"Because. I don't stand a chance with all the girls after you. You've got Greasers, Socs, Middlers, all just waiting in line for their chance to get at you. They like you because of how you look. They don't know who you really are. I know. But in my experience guys usually just like the super skinny, really beautiful, super-model types who don't really know anything about them, but are in love with the way look. Not me. Besides, it wouldn't have mattered. You had Sandy." I said, the last part with disgust. " That two-timing broad had you wrapped around her little finger." I gasped. "Oh,no! Oh, my God, Soda, I...I...I...", I trailed off. In my rush on an explanation I had completely blown a secret I had sworn I would never tell Soda.
"Sandy what?", he said completely shocked. Soda's brown eyes looked into my blue ones. His eyes always betrayed what he was really and completely feeling. He's got too much emotion for them not to. I saw shock, hurt, and confusion. There was something else too, but I couldn't place it. I rushed to explain. "I saw her with Clark Welling down at the drive-in. I'm surpried that Pony didn't spot them. Anyway, I saw her kissing him when I snuck into a late-night movie. I told her she was an idiot for cheating on you. That she'd never find anyone as wonderful as you." I blushed. "She told me to get lost, so I did. I swore that I'd never tell you. I just couldn't tell you Soda." He looked hurt and confused.
"But..but.. she coudn't have. Her..her parents sent her away. They didn't want her to marry me." I looked at him, this was killing me.
"I know that she was sent to Florida because her parents didn't want her to marry a Greaser. She told me. But you weren't the Greaser." I winced. I HATED calling him a Greaser and I hoped I hadn't sounded like a Soc when I'd said it. I went on. "You weren't the reason they sent her away, you weren't the one, Soda." I had started to cry again. "I couldn't tell you Soda. I just couldn't. I can't stand to see you hurt and I knew this would really hurt you. I wish that I could take it all back. But I can't. I know I told you that I'd tell you if anything was up but I just... i just couldn't." I had been talking a little fast in between sobs. Now I slowed down a little. "I...I love you too much to have told you." I had been looking at the floor, now I looked at his face. He still looked hurt but there was a new emotion there now. It made his eyes shine bright. I leaned forward and said softly, "I love you Sodapop." And I did something I've been yearning to do for two years. I kissed him. Softly at first, then a little harder and more deeply when I realized he was kissing me back. It was the most wonderful feeling in the whole world. I finally knew what that emotion was in his eyes that made them burn bright. It was love. He loved me back!!!! We sat there kissing for I don't know how long. A couple of minutes. Five maybe ten. I don't know. I didn't really care. Just having his lips on mine was pure heaven. After we stopped kissing, we got up off the floor. I wiped the tear streaks from Soda's face. Greasers aren't supposed to cry. They're supposed to be tough. I too wiped my eyes. I hate it when I cry. I'm not supposed to be weak, just undecided. Right at that moment I was ready to give up everything I worked so hard for. My grades, my reputation. I was ready to just chick it all in and turn completely into a Greaser. But for some reason I can't explain, something told me to wait a little while. This time I listened. I know the difference between my heart and my conscience. Sometimes you listen one, sometimes you listen to the other. This time I had a feeling that I should listen to my conscience. Soda was glowing but he was still really really upset about Pony and Sandy. Pony was still gone and it would take him a while to get over Sandy. Me, I was ecstatic. Me and Soda. Together at last. It was a dream come true, literally. But there was something wrong and I could sense it. His face cleared after a while though and Steve walked in. "Hey Soda, hey Belle."
"Hey." I said.
"Hey." said Soda.
"Um,, Steve, you stil working on that Honda? I told Mr.Harmond we'd have it ready by today." I said quickly when Steve started looking back and forth between us suspiciously like he knew something was up. He still didn't know that Sandy was gone, let alone that she had cheated on Soda.
"Yeah.", he said slowly, looking at Soda. Then he looked at me. "Yeah, I'm just about finished with it. All me an' Soda have to do is those damn windshield wipers. We've gone through ten pair this week. Heck, it ain't even raining!", he said. He walked to the garage, Soda following. I looked at the clock. 8:00! Jeez, customers would be coming in by then and I had to stock some stuff. Also, Lem would be up by now. I went to the front. I stocked the Cokes and magazines and dragged the phone to the counter. I picked up the handle and dialed Lem's number.
The next morning at about 7:00 I got up, got dressed, and sleepily headed out to the DX Station. I peeled away from the curb, going at least 50. As far as it goes, I usually follow all the rules or at least when I don't I never let anyone in charge know it. But speeding was a different matter. I loved the speed. It was apart of me I guess you could say. I just didn't pay any attention to speed limits. For me, there was no limit. It was like flying. I loved it. In some cases though, I just hoped that the wind would really wake me up. A cop stopped me half way there but I flipped my hair and smiled and he let me off with a warning. Cops are so easy. I sped off and slammed into the station at 55 mph. I got outta the car, yawned, stretched, and walked to the door. It was unlocked. Strange. Usually I'm the first one there. I heard quiet noises coming from the back. "Hello?", I called out. I went to the back room slowly. If a Grease was there, he might have a heater and a Grease or a Soc for that matter, with a heater, is almost certainly VERY dangerous. You see, a heater just happens to be a gun. I went to the door. It was open a crack. I looked inside, fearing the worst. But when I opened the door it wasn't someone trying to rob us. It was someone else entirely. "Soda? What are you doing here so early?" I said in surprise. " What's the matter?" Soda was standing, leaning rather, with his back to the side wall. He was crying. Harder than I've ever seen him cry. His shirt was open and he hadn't even put on his shoes. I know he hates them, but he usually just slips them on as soon as he walks in. They weren't even there. He looked at me in slight surprise, tears still running down his face. "Oh, Belle. It's Ponyboy and Sandy. They're both gone!", he managed to gasp in between quiet sobs. And with that, he let out a loud sob and slid to the floor. I'd never seen Soda like this. Not this bad. Not ever this bad. My eyes started glistening. I hated seeing Soda like this. I knew that this was REALLY bad. It tore me up inside. It was so unlike the eternally happy, always looking at the good side, forever making you laugh Sodapop. I thought, 'Ok Belle, just do what you usually do. Don't lose control.' I was starting to shake a little. My breath came in little gasps. 'Don't run to him. Don't you dare let him know you love him. Don't rush into his arms.' But I saw him there, crying harder than I've ever seen, and I ignored my own thoughts and warnings. I rushed to him. I mean, I really RAN. I slid to the floor beside him and he turned and looked at me, unable to stop crying. I threw my arms around him. "Oh Sodapop, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." I looked in his gorgeous brown eyes and for once in my life I let my love shine through my eyes into his. I'd never let anyone know, not even Lem, how much I really loved him. I loved him with all my heart. A look of final understanding dawned in his. And something else that I couldn't quite place. He put his arms around me and cried into my shoulder. Not the petty tears that some people have when they get in trouble or don't have their way, but really cried. Cried like someone who's world has suddenly come crashing down around him and he can't a thing about it. And he wasn't loud and he wasn't pathetic when he cried. He was soft and quiet, but he just let all of it out. If he had been holding back some tears before, he let them flow, probably for the first time in his life, like a waterfall. Like I always wanted him to. I stroked his hair. "It's gonna be ok Sodapop. Everything's gonna turn out all right." I whispered in his ear over and over as I rocked slightly back and forth. After a while, he finally stopped. He lifted his head and unwrapped his arms from around me. It took a lot of control, but I finally let go of him. Tears were silently streaming slowly down my face. "Hey, I'll be all right Belle. What're you crying for? Don't you think one bawl-baby on staff is enough?", he said, with a slight smile. I laughed a little between the tears. "Oh, Soda. I HATE seeing you like this. It just tears me up inside."
"Oh, Belle. I had no idea. I mean, I know that you flirt with me, but all girls do. And you flirt with a lot of other guys too, although you don't seem to know you're doing it. Flirting with me seems to be a built in instict for most girls."
"I know you didn't know Soda. And you're right, I guess I really don't know that I'm flirting. It's just... built in. But it's different with you Soda. I've tried so hard not to let you know how I really feel about you. That your not just another cute guy to me."
"Why Belle?"
"Because. I don't stand a chance with all the girls after you. You've got Greasers, Socs, Middlers, all just waiting in line for their chance to get at you. They like you because of how you look. They don't know who you really are. I know. But in my experience guys usually just like the super skinny, really beautiful, super-model types who don't really know anything about them, but are in love with the way look. Not me. Besides, it wouldn't have mattered. You had Sandy." I said, the last part with disgust. " That two-timing broad had you wrapped around her little finger." I gasped. "Oh,no! Oh, my God, Soda, I...I...I...", I trailed off. In my rush on an explanation I had completely blown a secret I had sworn I would never tell Soda.
"Sandy what?", he said completely shocked. Soda's brown eyes looked into my blue ones. His eyes always betrayed what he was really and completely feeling. He's got too much emotion for them not to. I saw shock, hurt, and confusion. There was something else too, but I couldn't place it. I rushed to explain. "I saw her with Clark Welling down at the drive-in. I'm surpried that Pony didn't spot them. Anyway, I saw her kissing him when I snuck into a late-night movie. I told her she was an idiot for cheating on you. That she'd never find anyone as wonderful as you." I blushed. "She told me to get lost, so I did. I swore that I'd never tell you. I just couldn't tell you Soda." He looked hurt and confused.
"But..but.. she coudn't have. Her..her parents sent her away. They didn't want her to marry me." I looked at him, this was killing me.
"I know that she was sent to Florida because her parents didn't want her to marry a Greaser. She told me. But you weren't the Greaser." I winced. I HATED calling him a Greaser and I hoped I hadn't sounded like a Soc when I'd said it. I went on. "You weren't the reason they sent her away, you weren't the one, Soda." I had started to cry again. "I couldn't tell you Soda. I just couldn't. I can't stand to see you hurt and I knew this would really hurt you. I wish that I could take it all back. But I can't. I know I told you that I'd tell you if anything was up but I just... i just couldn't." I had been talking a little fast in between sobs. Now I slowed down a little. "I...I love you too much to have told you." I had been looking at the floor, now I looked at his face. He still looked hurt but there was a new emotion there now. It made his eyes shine bright. I leaned forward and said softly, "I love you Sodapop." And I did something I've been yearning to do for two years. I kissed him. Softly at first, then a little harder and more deeply when I realized he was kissing me back. It was the most wonderful feeling in the whole world. I finally knew what that emotion was in his eyes that made them burn bright. It was love. He loved me back!!!! We sat there kissing for I don't know how long. A couple of minutes. Five maybe ten. I don't know. I didn't really care. Just having his lips on mine was pure heaven. After we stopped kissing, we got up off the floor. I wiped the tear streaks from Soda's face. Greasers aren't supposed to cry. They're supposed to be tough. I too wiped my eyes. I hate it when I cry. I'm not supposed to be weak, just undecided. Right at that moment I was ready to give up everything I worked so hard for. My grades, my reputation. I was ready to just chick it all in and turn completely into a Greaser. But for some reason I can't explain, something told me to wait a little while. This time I listened. I know the difference between my heart and my conscience. Sometimes you listen one, sometimes you listen to the other. This time I had a feeling that I should listen to my conscience. Soda was glowing but he was still really really upset about Pony and Sandy. Pony was still gone and it would take him a while to get over Sandy. Me, I was ecstatic. Me and Soda. Together at last. It was a dream come true, literally. But there was something wrong and I could sense it. His face cleared after a while though and Steve walked in. "Hey Soda, hey Belle."
"Hey." I said.
"Hey." said Soda.
"Um,, Steve, you stil working on that Honda? I told Mr.Harmond we'd have it ready by today." I said quickly when Steve started looking back and forth between us suspiciously like he knew something was up. He still didn't know that Sandy was gone, let alone that she had cheated on Soda.
"Yeah.", he said slowly, looking at Soda. Then he looked at me. "Yeah, I'm just about finished with it. All me an' Soda have to do is those damn windshield wipers. We've gone through ten pair this week. Heck, it ain't even raining!", he said. He walked to the garage, Soda following. I looked at the clock. 8:00! Jeez, customers would be coming in by then and I had to stock some stuff. Also, Lem would be up by now. I went to the front. I stocked the Cokes and magazines and dragged the phone to the counter. I picked up the handle and dialed Lem's number.