Disclaimer:

It's JKR's world, I just play in it.

BTW, I want to particularly thank everyone who reviewed 53. Not only did it help when I needed a confidence boost, but you guys really get it. I really try to focus my writing on one of the principles of Japanese literature, which is "the beauty of sadness".

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Of course I remembered the letter although it took me a few days to be sure it was real, and not a dream. It was so unlike him, on the surface, but that he would keep the words of his affections and fears secret from me, should not have been a surprise. It was not Severus' temper that should have frightened people, but his depths.

I didn't mention the letter to him, as much as I wanted to, as much as I wanted to ask questions. The way he watched me out of the corner of his half-lidded eyes at breakfasts was enough to tell me this was not a secret he hoped I did not remember.

"I think you'll find Narcissa very interesting," Snape said as he proceeded to rearrange the food on his plate yet again.

"And why is that?" Allosia asked calmly, still trying to get over her disbelief that at any moment they would be receiving an invitation virtually requiring their presence at the Malfoy Mansion.

"Because she is what you would be, had you been an unromantic Slytherin with a terrifying degree of self-control."

"I'm sorry, I can't say I find that appealing."

"Neither can I. Well, anymore."

"Anymore?"

"We had a brief dalliance before Lucius married her. It was purely spite, I assure you," he said in an offhand way.

"On whose part?"

"Everyone's."

"Are there any women in your past you haven't slept with?" she asked, squinting her eyes.

"Minerva, Ceres, Poppy" he said with a small choke of a laugh that earned him a shrill giggle from Hooch.

Allosia shook her head and reached for her glass.

The invitation to the Malfoys' party came, although not until the new year. I suppose I took it as well as I could be expected to although I doubt there was any reaction on my part that could have made my husband feel at ease. I loved him and I was eager to share his life even, or perhaps precisely, the very worst of it.

"He waited for an audience, didn't he?" Allosia said, picking the envelope up as if it were a filthy thing, before letting out a low whistling breath.

Snape nodded. "I'm positively certain of it. What are you hissing about?"

"Lucius' conviction that I have no name."

Snape rolled his eyes at her. "Society convention, and one you should be grateful of. That whole family needs as many reminders as possible that you are, as far as they are concerned, my property."

"Charming," she said, scraping her fork across her plate.

"Are you so very angry with me?"

"Not with you, not angry at all, just discomforted. I don't want to go. I think one of us will wind up miserable if I do."

"Why?" he asked softly, not really wanting to discuss this so publicly.

"Because that's what happens," she said, sullenly. "And I don't want to see Draco."

"Draco? He's been positively kind to both of us in the scheme of things."

"You know how you get whenever you have to have anything to do with Lucius?"

"Yes?"

"That's how I feel around his son. It's not entirely logical, but I assure you, it's entirely real."

"This goes back to Florence."

She looked at him and nodded, biting back her commentary, afraid anything she said would sound like she was trying to pick a fight with him.

"I understand, but our attendance is still mandatory."

"I know. Believe me, I know. How is it sitting with you?"

"Poorly. You shouldn't have to see these things."

"I was an auror."

He leaned over to her then and whispered in her ear, "You shouldn't have to see these things of your husband."

She regretted not being able to suppress her involuntary shudder. She knew he was right. Everything the Malfoys did was, at its heart, some sort of sick demonstration.

Faced with a challenging and unpleasant situation, we did what you would expect; we prepared. A task, which amusingly enough included shopping. I needed robes appropriate to that segment of society, appropriate to a wife without a name and finally, appropriate to running in. Just in case and all that.

"No, you definitely can't wear that," Snape said for at least the fourth time.

Allosia, for her part was starting to get seriously annoyed. "Why are we shopping for this wretched occasion again?"

"Because I'm being graded on my performance," he said dryly, before softening his mouth just a bit. "Besides, I'm trying to be nice."

Allosia laughed. "If you don't behave I'll tell your students."

"Who won't believe you," he noted before indicating yet another set of robes she should try on.

Eventually they settled on a fairly fitted robe of dark mercuric silver and a short over cloak. The main feature of the robe, other than its cost and suggestive tailoring was eight buttons around its knees. With a simple gesture Allosia would be able to sweep it up and fasten it away from her step. Good for flying and good for running. In spite of herself, Allosia smiled; they were lovely robes.

"Now," he said, putting an arm around Allosia's waist and settling her against him in the dark. "Most of this event will seem perfectly civilized. Whatever you do, don't head down stairs, or anywhere, without me. If you see me going somewhere and I haven't specifically asked you to escort me, please don't follow. I'm really hoping we can just go, pay our respects, have some painfully civilized conversation and then get the hell out. Mind you, I don't think it's likely."

She nodded and twisted her head to look at him.

"I don't think we'll be in danger. Although I suspect our souls may well be."

"Meaning?"

"Meaning Lucius is going to put on a show just for us and we're going to have to enjoy it." A tight, unpleasant smile graced his lips.

Allosia made a sound of uncomfortable and sorrowful understanding.

"We are not ourselves there," he said in a low voice, resting his chin on the back of her neck. "That place is not our marriage, not our life. If anything," he paused, "untoward —"

Allosia cut him off, it was too much, although she was taken aback by how sad her voice sounded. "We'll sort it out later. I understand. Work."

He kissed the back of her head then. Yes, always work. He smiled more genuinely then as she shifted against him and he ran his hands along the front of her body. She gave a little gasp and he chuckled.

"What?" she asked.

He frowned for a second, hating that question. "It's just that you're the most bizarre and shocking thing in my life," he whispered in her ear.

She chuckled, squirmed again, encouraging his hands and his desire.

"So much for resting before battle," he said, dryly.

"It's not like you ever sleep anyway," she said, turning to face him.

"Are you planning to brutalize me with the rigors of your logic yet again, Miss Hemrand?"

She reached out and gripped his cock, hard.

"I'll take that as a yes," he managed to choke out, before she kissed him quiet, and he tangled his fingers in her hair.