We ran down the street, around the corner. I tried to clear my head. Then I remembered the park again. He went there once right? It was worth a try. I beckoned to Lem.
"C'mon. The park!" I said. She nodded and we swerved towards the park. We ran and ran and ran. Finally, we reached the park. A second time I leaned on my knees, breathing hard. A second time I straightened up. A second time I looked around. A second time... he was there. This time, though, he and Dally were yelling at each other something fierce. We looked at each other. 'uh oh.' we said through our eyes. It was not a good idea to match Soda's and Dally's tempers. We ran over.
"You idiot! What the hell were you thinking?" Dally was yelling to Soda. They didn't even notice us there.
"Don't give me that. What the hell were you doing with her at the drive-in?"
"What should it matter to you? I thought if you loved her at all you wouldn't have BROKEN HER HEART! Asshole!"
"What the fuck are you talking about Dallas? I did no such fucking thing. Speaking of fucking, how was she?" Soda had gone too far. Before I knew what was happening, Dally punched him.
"Shut the fuck up Sodapop Curtis!" he yelled at him as Soda got up. Soda looked him in the eye. I was afraid to go near them. I wasn't gonna be stupid and get the shit beat outta me by getting in the middle of this thing. "You don't know what you're talking about. How stupid can you be? She's been there the whole time! She loved YOU the whole fucking time! And you were too STUPID to see it." he yelled at Soda. Soda socked him on the jaw. Now I had had enough.
"Stop it!" I screamed. They both turned their heads to look at me at the exact same time.
"Both of you, knock it off!" I yelled. I stepped in between them. I looked at Soda. I was hurting, I was riled up, and I was angry. I slapped him. Right across the face. Hard. He looked stunned. He just looked at me with a stunned look on his face. He put his hand to his cheek. There was gonna be a bruise where my clauda ring had hit him. Good. He deserved it. I was breathing hard, my chest heaving. I turned and looked at Dally. He too looked stunned. I turned to Lem. She looked stunned too, although there was a slightly smug smile on her face. I nodded my head once at her, like something had been done that I approved of. She did it back. Soda had deserved it. We both knew it. Finally after that, I spoke.
"Both of you just stop it. Soda, you're going to listen to me for once. You're not gonna talk, you're gonna listen, and you're gonna try to understand. Got it?" I said fiercly, determination and stubborness evident in my tone. My eyes alone told him not to mess with me. His hand hadn't left his face. He just nodded dumbly, still staring at me.
"Dally? Thank you. Thank you so much." I smiled at him. He nodded at me. "And you're going to stay too. You're going to talk to Lem, or rather, she's gonna calm you down..." I gave Lem a pointed look. She wrinkled her nose in disgust. I gave her a look that said 'just do it.' Dally was still pissed, his eyes were stormy and he was breathing kinda hard. "Dally, go easy on her. Any shit from either of you, and I come and beat both your asses." I smiled sweetly and smartly. "Got it?" They both nodded, although obviously not thrilled.
"Good. Now, everyone sit down. On the grass, Lem." I said when she started to protest. She shut her mouth, sighed, and flopped down on the grass. Next down went Soda, still holding his face and staring. I sighed. I'd have to snap him out of it. . Dally hadn't sat down yet. He was just looking at me, like 'don't tell me what to do'. I glared at him. He scowled. I ignored it and kept glaring. Dally doesn't like being told what to do. Finally he sat down, leaning back on his hands and stretching out his legs like it was his idea to sit down all along. I smiled slightly at him and shook my head. He pretended not to notice, staring at the sky. I carefully sat down, holding my skirt so that no one could see up it. It was dark, but I adjusted to the night easily and could see just fine. Then there were the lights from farther in the park. When I had finally got myself right,closing my legs and tucking them to the side, leaning on one of my hands, I looked at Soda. His eyes had followed me down to the ground. His hand was still on his face. I gently took his hand and brought it down. I almost kissed it, but I was still a little mad, although much cooled after the slap. It had felt pretty good to do that.
"Soda." I said softly. "Soda!" I said a little louder when he didn't answer. I did what Dally had done to me. I shook him gently. That didn't work. Finally, out of ideas, except to slap him again, which proabably wasn't a good idea, I leaned forward and kissed him gently, feeling the electricity running through me again, hoping that he was feeling the same and it would snap him out of it. I guess I was right and I guess he did feel it because right after I pulled away, he had come back to me. "Soda, it almost kills me to say this, but, listen to Dally!" He started to protest. I put a finger to his lips and shushed him. "No. Listen to him. He knows what he's talking about it. I told him. He knows. Listen." He looked at me with wonder.
"Do you really love me Belle? Don't mess with me right now. Tell me the truth."
I laughed lightly. "Yes, Soda. I do love you. With all my heart." I thought he was going to smile and kiss me, but I should've known it wouldn't be that easy. Suddenly he was angry again.
"Then what the hell were you doing with Dally at the drive-in huh?"
"I wasn't doing anything Soda. I was upset. I AM upset. You broke my heart Sodapop Curtis and it hurts like hell. Worse than anything you've ever felt." I said with anger of my own. "He understands. He listened. He helped. You hurt me." I said with conviction.
Lem suddenly broke in. "Soda, I've been Belle's friend, her BEST friend, all her life. I've seen her upset and angry before. But I never saw her like that. Then she came to my house and actually started crying. She never cries in front of people. You're an asshole, and you know it." Then she turned her attention to Dally. She poked him in the ribs and glared. He sighed, scowled, then looked at me and softened.
"You are such a fucking idiot asshole Soda. Do you wanna know what happened at the drive-in? Do you?" He nodded,unable to say anything. He had never had this many people hate him like this before. 'good' I thought with some satisfaction. Dally went on, still pissed as hell. "Fine, I'll tell you. She and Lem came sneaking in through the fence. I knew that something had happened to Belle because of the way she dressed. If that's not 100% Greaser, I don't know what is. You know she dresses the way she feels." Dally's hand swept over my outfit to emphasize and Soda nodded. "So something had happened. When she and Lem sat down, I went over to 'em. When Belle figured out it was me messing with her, she actually threw her arms around me." I winced a little, and glanced at Soda who I could tell was getting jealous, much to my satisfaction. "Belle doesn't do stuff like that unless something's wrong. When something's wrong she really needs a LOT of attention." I nodded, amazed at how much Dally really knew about me. He was making my job a whole lot easier. "After a couple minutes I noticed that Belle's eyes had glazed over kinda and that she was looking at something right over my shoulder. Something no one else could see. When I looked closer I noticed that she was gonna start crying. CRYING, Soda, FUCKING CRYING!. She doesn't do tht. Especially in front of me, not to mention anyone." Soda's eyes grew wide, he knew about me and crying in front of people, Dally especially. "So I dragged her across the parking lot, where we could talk privately. Half way across she seemed to snap out of it. After demanding where we were going she said something about,'if Soda ever found out about this....' I was gonna ask her what the hell she was talking about, but her eyes had glazed and were starting to glisten again. When we finally got to the building, alone, it took me three minutes and a ton of shakes to get her out of her...trance or whatever. When I finally did get her out of it, she started to fucking CRY Soda." Soda looked at me like he didn't believe it. I nodded confirmation. "After some wheedling, I finally got out of her what you did to her. She saved your FUCKING LIFE. I was ready to go out and KILL you. However, after a little while she seemed to calm down and we started to walk back. We were just messing around when you showed up at the fence and all this shit started.Soda, you almost died today. You can thank Belle for your life. And don't get hung up on that tramp Sandy. She was a bitch and a double-crossing, cheating bitch at that. Forget her. Be thankful for what you do have. Or, will have if you don't fuck up again." Dally finished, finally falling silent. I sent him a silent thank and he looked at me, getting his rough edge back after telling what was probably the hardest story he'd ever had to tell anyone. Soda looked like someone had hit him over the head with a frying pan. If he was seeing stars, I wouldn't blame him. I was in shock after Dally's rant too. I don't think he's ever said anything with much emotion before. Unless it was rage, Dally was usually emotion-less. Something terrible had happened in New York. That's why he came here. Whatever it was it messed him up bad and his philosophy was, Don't Feel Anything And You Don't Get Hurt. I guess for him it worked really well, although if you asked me, it made it worse. Now it was my turn to rant. I wanted to and I was going to. And Soda was gonna listen. I chuckled softly to myself. If he had gotten up, he would've fallen right down again, he was in so much shock! "Now, Soda, it's my turn. And it's not pretty what I have to say either. Now, you hurt me. Bad. But I'm not gonna come crying to you Sodapop Curtis if you're the one who caused the pain. I may not be a Greaser, and I sure as HELL am not a Soc. But,I'm more Greaser than anything and you know it. We all know it. How many times have I been on your side? How many times have I nursed you, and everyone else, back to health? Half of you would be DEAD if it wasn't for me. Remember that time that Soc jumped you? You had two broken ribs and he cracked your skull. You came to me. You trusted me. And I fixed you up. All of you. Pony, Johnny, Dally, Two-Bit, Darry, You, Steve, everyone. I may not be a Greaser by birth, not un-fortunatly, but I am one in spirit. Ask ANYONE. Hell, ask Dally. How many times have I calmed him down from killing anyone? Or you? Countless, countless. I went against my best friend for you. That killed me. And you should have known better about Josh. In love with you or not, I had to keep going with my life. When Tim jumped him, for no DAMN REASON, of course I was gonna be on his side. It wasn't like you were knocking down my door to convince me to join you. We didn't even TALK for two weeks. TWO WEEKS. That killed me." I took a deep breath. I stopped a second, wondering how I should keep going. "And you were right. I don't completely know what it's like to be a Greaser. But, all of you have come to me with your problems. You've all complained about it enough." I hesitated, figuring out if I should say what I wanted to. A secret I had never told anyone. I had taken care of it, but I still hadn't told. "And it's happened to me too." I said softly. Lem and Dally looked at me, along with Soda, all of a sudden, wondering what the hell I was talking about. I stared out into the night sky, re-living that one day, about three months ago, when I had been walking the long way to the drive-in. My car was in the shop. I was dressed as a Greaser, as I usually am after I go to work. I decided to tell all of them what had happened. "Yeah, it happened to me. You know when I missed work for about a week a couple months ago?" They all nodded. "I told you that I just had chicken pox. That wasn't true. The day before I had been walking the long way to the drive-in after work. I was dressed kinda like I am now, pants, but definitly Grease. Anyway, I must've passed for one pretty good because as I was crossing the field I heard something. I turned and saw one of those new red hotrods coming towards me. I started to get a little nervous. I mean, c'mon, who wouldn't. I walked a little faster. The car came up next to me. The window rolled down and there were these two Socs in the car. I kept walking. They started talking to me, well, I don't know if talking's the right word. They were....acting really nasty. Asking me all kinds of stuff that was none of their fucking business. When I gave them the finger and told them to fuck off, I guess they got mad because suddenly, they Soc turned his car and cut me off. I got scared, and I don't do that easily. I looked down, realized what I was wearing, and started to run. They got out of the car and chased me. I got to a dead end and they kinda pounced on me. One of them, the driver, picked me up and started carrying me off. I screamed and yelled and hit and kicked, but he wouldn't let go. When we got to that field where you play football, the big one, he took me to the side of that building. It was dark back there, and nobody could see. Or at least they ignored me. Anyway, when we got there, the driver told the other Soc to go and be look out. When he left, the guy punched me. I punched him back, but I guess he didn't like that because he was on top of me, holding my arms down. I started kicking him. I hadn't stopped screaming. He sat on my legs and he....." I gulped "he.... He ripped all my clothes off. After he did that he........" I looked at the ground. Saying this was harder than I thought it would be. I had never told anyone about this, not even Lem or my mom. I don't know why. "He raped me." I whispered. The full meaning of the word hit me like I was finally realizing what happened to me. I had never even said it out loud before. I just tried to forget about it. I looked up, wondering how everyone was taking this. Lem was staring at me. She wasn't even blinking. Soda was looking at me,his beautiful brown eyes wide as saucers, his mouth hanging open. Dally wasn't looking at me anymore. He was busy tearing up anything in the ground he could find. He had too much rage to hide it all. Ripping up the ground was the best was to help it right now. Their horrified and furious reaction seemed to seal the deal for me. I guess that was the last straw for me on that particular subject. I brought my knees up to my face and started to cry into them. After all the crying I was doing today, it was gonna take me the rest of my life to make up for it. God, I hadn't cried this much since the day I was born. I tried to gasp out what had happened next, but I couldn't get the breath yo make out the words. Either Soda or Dally seemed to recover though, because suddenly I felt tough, muscled arms around me, pulling me. I didn't resist them. Quite the opposite. I turned into them and put my arms around the person's chest. Then I turned my head and rested my head against his chest,still crying.When I breathed in, I recognized the scent. It was Sodapop. My heart lifted, He was holding ME. He didn't hate me anymore! He loved me again! I turned my face into him. I felt his hand make circles againt my back, soothing me. He kissed the top of my head and rested his cheek against it. "Shhhh. Shhh. It's all right. It's all over now. You're safe. I'm here." he whispered to me. I squeezed him tighter. I felt completely safe in Soda's arms. With him around, no one would hurt me. Physically at least. But you can't be in love without risking your heart can you? It felt so GOOD to have his arms around me, holding me tight like I was the only girl in the entire world for him. It was possesive, comforting, soothing, enticing, all at once. And I stopped crying. My world was finally righting itself. I had Soda back, I didn't have to think about that Soc anymore and did I mention I had Soda back? I breathed him in. He smelled sooo good. I sniffed a little. I playfully whimpered and clung to him. He seemed to sense the playfullness because he smiled too. I suddenly realized that neither of us really had to say anything else anymore. It was all ok now. I understood what Soda had done and he understood what I had, or rather hadn't, done. We both knew why. We loved each other. I may be younger but I was still mature and he could wait a while. He wasn't THAT much older. Only two or three years. I didn't blurt out the rest of the story. I had, afterwards taken a pregnancy test and gotten a negative. One monster down. The next week, after I had recoperated a bit (losing your virginity by someone really rough really really hurts) I went out, got a piece of pipe, and found the guy. After I beat the shit out of him, I did send him to the hospital with three broken ribs, a fractured face, and in need of a serious testicle re-attatchment. He was scared so shitless, he never told anyone ANYTHING. I had had a serious victory party by going to the city with Dally, Soda, Lem, Steve, and Two-Bit though they always thought it was just happy to be over the pox. Until now, that is. Both monsters down. I felt Soda cross his legs. He had to let go a little and in response I clung to him even more tightly. He laughed a little, and I thought how good it was to hear something happy and light, and there's nothing happier than one of Soda's true laughs. Then I felt myself being pulled up and then be settled back down into his legs. I had closed my eyes as soon as Soda had put his arms around me that first time and buried my face in his chest, but now I opened them. My legs were drapped over the side of one of Soda's. My arms were around his chest, and his arms were holding me up, making little circles in my back while he smiled down at me. I tilted my head up and smiled back at him contentedly. He brushed the tear streaks off my face and I leaned into his hand. " I Love You Belle,"He said to me, all his emotion demanding at least capital letters. His eyes took on a slightly fearful look, as if he was scared that I wouldn't say it back, that I didn't love him anymore. I smiled up at him. I unlinked my hands from around his back, unwound one of them and raised to his Soda's face. I stroked the side of his face, his lips, his eyelids, his chin, his forehead, everything I could touch, as gently as if I was hardly touching him at all. "I love you too, Soda." I said finally. His eyes brightened and his smile widened and his head leaned down and suddenly, his lips were on mine, fire was going all through my body, I heard rushes of air go past my ears with the hint of violins and clarinets and pianos and harps, my eyes closed, I saw stars through my eyelids. Electricity rushed through my body, my heart pounded in my chest, I never wanted the kiss to end. He pulled back finally, much to my despair although the hope and wonderous knowing that it would all happen again filled me with ecstatic happiness. I whimpered, grabbed his head, and lowered his lips towards mine again, my fingers threading through his hair. His luscious curls felt like silk in my fingers. He greedily captured my mouth again. His tongue ran lightly across the insides of my lips, making me shiver. I opened my mouth and his tongue quickly slipped in, tasting me. He ran it across my teeth, tickled the roof of my tongue, then ran it across my own tongue. My tongue tangled with his before he drew back, taking me with him. He broke the kiss briefly to gulp at air, and then he press his lips to mine again. My tongue hesitantly ran across his lips. I had never truly frenched before, believe it or not. He shivered though and a slimmer of confidence ran through me. I pressed lightly against his teeth. He opened and I glided my tongue into his mouth gently. He was pantient, letting me get the feel and taste of him, letting me get the hang of it. I brushed around his teeth, ran across the roof of his mouth, let my tongue rest on his for a few moments, savoring him, before our tongues tangled together once more, lacing around each other, both of us savoring the other. I pulled back after a little bit. I needed oxygen. He reluctantly let go and the kiss ended with that wonderful little slurping sound at the end. I breathed heavily, regaining my regular breathing rate. He gulped slightly. His forehead rested against mine and my eyes opened. A second later, his opened and our eyes locked completely. Nothing else existed in the world other than us and our kisses.
"C'mon. The park!" I said. She nodded and we swerved towards the park. We ran and ran and ran. Finally, we reached the park. A second time I leaned on my knees, breathing hard. A second time I straightened up. A second time I looked around. A second time... he was there. This time, though, he and Dally were yelling at each other something fierce. We looked at each other. 'uh oh.' we said through our eyes. It was not a good idea to match Soda's and Dally's tempers. We ran over.
"You idiot! What the hell were you thinking?" Dally was yelling to Soda. They didn't even notice us there.
"Don't give me that. What the hell were you doing with her at the drive-in?"
"What should it matter to you? I thought if you loved her at all you wouldn't have BROKEN HER HEART! Asshole!"
"What the fuck are you talking about Dallas? I did no such fucking thing. Speaking of fucking, how was she?" Soda had gone too far. Before I knew what was happening, Dally punched him.
"Shut the fuck up Sodapop Curtis!" he yelled at him as Soda got up. Soda looked him in the eye. I was afraid to go near them. I wasn't gonna be stupid and get the shit beat outta me by getting in the middle of this thing. "You don't know what you're talking about. How stupid can you be? She's been there the whole time! She loved YOU the whole fucking time! And you were too STUPID to see it." he yelled at Soda. Soda socked him on the jaw. Now I had had enough.
"Stop it!" I screamed. They both turned their heads to look at me at the exact same time.
"Both of you, knock it off!" I yelled. I stepped in between them. I looked at Soda. I was hurting, I was riled up, and I was angry. I slapped him. Right across the face. Hard. He looked stunned. He just looked at me with a stunned look on his face. He put his hand to his cheek. There was gonna be a bruise where my clauda ring had hit him. Good. He deserved it. I was breathing hard, my chest heaving. I turned and looked at Dally. He too looked stunned. I turned to Lem. She looked stunned too, although there was a slightly smug smile on her face. I nodded my head once at her, like something had been done that I approved of. She did it back. Soda had deserved it. We both knew it. Finally after that, I spoke.
"Both of you just stop it. Soda, you're going to listen to me for once. You're not gonna talk, you're gonna listen, and you're gonna try to understand. Got it?" I said fiercly, determination and stubborness evident in my tone. My eyes alone told him not to mess with me. His hand hadn't left his face. He just nodded dumbly, still staring at me.
"Dally? Thank you. Thank you so much." I smiled at him. He nodded at me. "And you're going to stay too. You're going to talk to Lem, or rather, she's gonna calm you down..." I gave Lem a pointed look. She wrinkled her nose in disgust. I gave her a look that said 'just do it.' Dally was still pissed, his eyes were stormy and he was breathing kinda hard. "Dally, go easy on her. Any shit from either of you, and I come and beat both your asses." I smiled sweetly and smartly. "Got it?" They both nodded, although obviously not thrilled.
"Good. Now, everyone sit down. On the grass, Lem." I said when she started to protest. She shut her mouth, sighed, and flopped down on the grass. Next down went Soda, still holding his face and staring. I sighed. I'd have to snap him out of it. . Dally hadn't sat down yet. He was just looking at me, like 'don't tell me what to do'. I glared at him. He scowled. I ignored it and kept glaring. Dally doesn't like being told what to do. Finally he sat down, leaning back on his hands and stretching out his legs like it was his idea to sit down all along. I smiled slightly at him and shook my head. He pretended not to notice, staring at the sky. I carefully sat down, holding my skirt so that no one could see up it. It was dark, but I adjusted to the night easily and could see just fine. Then there were the lights from farther in the park. When I had finally got myself right,closing my legs and tucking them to the side, leaning on one of my hands, I looked at Soda. His eyes had followed me down to the ground. His hand was still on his face. I gently took his hand and brought it down. I almost kissed it, but I was still a little mad, although much cooled after the slap. It had felt pretty good to do that.
"Soda." I said softly. "Soda!" I said a little louder when he didn't answer. I did what Dally had done to me. I shook him gently. That didn't work. Finally, out of ideas, except to slap him again, which proabably wasn't a good idea, I leaned forward and kissed him gently, feeling the electricity running through me again, hoping that he was feeling the same and it would snap him out of it. I guess I was right and I guess he did feel it because right after I pulled away, he had come back to me. "Soda, it almost kills me to say this, but, listen to Dally!" He started to protest. I put a finger to his lips and shushed him. "No. Listen to him. He knows what he's talking about it. I told him. He knows. Listen." He looked at me with wonder.
"Do you really love me Belle? Don't mess with me right now. Tell me the truth."
I laughed lightly. "Yes, Soda. I do love you. With all my heart." I thought he was going to smile and kiss me, but I should've known it wouldn't be that easy. Suddenly he was angry again.
"Then what the hell were you doing with Dally at the drive-in huh?"
"I wasn't doing anything Soda. I was upset. I AM upset. You broke my heart Sodapop Curtis and it hurts like hell. Worse than anything you've ever felt." I said with anger of my own. "He understands. He listened. He helped. You hurt me." I said with conviction.
Lem suddenly broke in. "Soda, I've been Belle's friend, her BEST friend, all her life. I've seen her upset and angry before. But I never saw her like that. Then she came to my house and actually started crying. She never cries in front of people. You're an asshole, and you know it." Then she turned her attention to Dally. She poked him in the ribs and glared. He sighed, scowled, then looked at me and softened.
"You are such a fucking idiot asshole Soda. Do you wanna know what happened at the drive-in? Do you?" He nodded,unable to say anything. He had never had this many people hate him like this before. 'good' I thought with some satisfaction. Dally went on, still pissed as hell. "Fine, I'll tell you. She and Lem came sneaking in through the fence. I knew that something had happened to Belle because of the way she dressed. If that's not 100% Greaser, I don't know what is. You know she dresses the way she feels." Dally's hand swept over my outfit to emphasize and Soda nodded. "So something had happened. When she and Lem sat down, I went over to 'em. When Belle figured out it was me messing with her, she actually threw her arms around me." I winced a little, and glanced at Soda who I could tell was getting jealous, much to my satisfaction. "Belle doesn't do stuff like that unless something's wrong. When something's wrong she really needs a LOT of attention." I nodded, amazed at how much Dally really knew about me. He was making my job a whole lot easier. "After a couple minutes I noticed that Belle's eyes had glazed over kinda and that she was looking at something right over my shoulder. Something no one else could see. When I looked closer I noticed that she was gonna start crying. CRYING, Soda, FUCKING CRYING!. She doesn't do tht. Especially in front of me, not to mention anyone." Soda's eyes grew wide, he knew about me and crying in front of people, Dally especially. "So I dragged her across the parking lot, where we could talk privately. Half way across she seemed to snap out of it. After demanding where we were going she said something about,'if Soda ever found out about this....' I was gonna ask her what the hell she was talking about, but her eyes had glazed and were starting to glisten again. When we finally got to the building, alone, it took me three minutes and a ton of shakes to get her out of her...trance or whatever. When I finally did get her out of it, she started to fucking CRY Soda." Soda looked at me like he didn't believe it. I nodded confirmation. "After some wheedling, I finally got out of her what you did to her. She saved your FUCKING LIFE. I was ready to go out and KILL you. However, after a little while she seemed to calm down and we started to walk back. We were just messing around when you showed up at the fence and all this shit started.Soda, you almost died today. You can thank Belle for your life. And don't get hung up on that tramp Sandy. She was a bitch and a double-crossing, cheating bitch at that. Forget her. Be thankful for what you do have. Or, will have if you don't fuck up again." Dally finished, finally falling silent. I sent him a silent thank and he looked at me, getting his rough edge back after telling what was probably the hardest story he'd ever had to tell anyone. Soda looked like someone had hit him over the head with a frying pan. If he was seeing stars, I wouldn't blame him. I was in shock after Dally's rant too. I don't think he's ever said anything with much emotion before. Unless it was rage, Dally was usually emotion-less. Something terrible had happened in New York. That's why he came here. Whatever it was it messed him up bad and his philosophy was, Don't Feel Anything And You Don't Get Hurt. I guess for him it worked really well, although if you asked me, it made it worse. Now it was my turn to rant. I wanted to and I was going to. And Soda was gonna listen. I chuckled softly to myself. If he had gotten up, he would've fallen right down again, he was in so much shock! "Now, Soda, it's my turn. And it's not pretty what I have to say either. Now, you hurt me. Bad. But I'm not gonna come crying to you Sodapop Curtis if you're the one who caused the pain. I may not be a Greaser, and I sure as HELL am not a Soc. But,I'm more Greaser than anything and you know it. We all know it. How many times have I been on your side? How many times have I nursed you, and everyone else, back to health? Half of you would be DEAD if it wasn't for me. Remember that time that Soc jumped you? You had two broken ribs and he cracked your skull. You came to me. You trusted me. And I fixed you up. All of you. Pony, Johnny, Dally, Two-Bit, Darry, You, Steve, everyone. I may not be a Greaser by birth, not un-fortunatly, but I am one in spirit. Ask ANYONE. Hell, ask Dally. How many times have I calmed him down from killing anyone? Or you? Countless, countless. I went against my best friend for you. That killed me. And you should have known better about Josh. In love with you or not, I had to keep going with my life. When Tim jumped him, for no DAMN REASON, of course I was gonna be on his side. It wasn't like you were knocking down my door to convince me to join you. We didn't even TALK for two weeks. TWO WEEKS. That killed me." I took a deep breath. I stopped a second, wondering how I should keep going. "And you were right. I don't completely know what it's like to be a Greaser. But, all of you have come to me with your problems. You've all complained about it enough." I hesitated, figuring out if I should say what I wanted to. A secret I had never told anyone. I had taken care of it, but I still hadn't told. "And it's happened to me too." I said softly. Lem and Dally looked at me, along with Soda, all of a sudden, wondering what the hell I was talking about. I stared out into the night sky, re-living that one day, about three months ago, when I had been walking the long way to the drive-in. My car was in the shop. I was dressed as a Greaser, as I usually am after I go to work. I decided to tell all of them what had happened. "Yeah, it happened to me. You know when I missed work for about a week a couple months ago?" They all nodded. "I told you that I just had chicken pox. That wasn't true. The day before I had been walking the long way to the drive-in after work. I was dressed kinda like I am now, pants, but definitly Grease. Anyway, I must've passed for one pretty good because as I was crossing the field I heard something. I turned and saw one of those new red hotrods coming towards me. I started to get a little nervous. I mean, c'mon, who wouldn't. I walked a little faster. The car came up next to me. The window rolled down and there were these two Socs in the car. I kept walking. They started talking to me, well, I don't know if talking's the right word. They were....acting really nasty. Asking me all kinds of stuff that was none of their fucking business. When I gave them the finger and told them to fuck off, I guess they got mad because suddenly, they Soc turned his car and cut me off. I got scared, and I don't do that easily. I looked down, realized what I was wearing, and started to run. They got out of the car and chased me. I got to a dead end and they kinda pounced on me. One of them, the driver, picked me up and started carrying me off. I screamed and yelled and hit and kicked, but he wouldn't let go. When we got to that field where you play football, the big one, he took me to the side of that building. It was dark back there, and nobody could see. Or at least they ignored me. Anyway, when we got there, the driver told the other Soc to go and be look out. When he left, the guy punched me. I punched him back, but I guess he didn't like that because he was on top of me, holding my arms down. I started kicking him. I hadn't stopped screaming. He sat on my legs and he....." I gulped "he.... He ripped all my clothes off. After he did that he........" I looked at the ground. Saying this was harder than I thought it would be. I had never told anyone about this, not even Lem or my mom. I don't know why. "He raped me." I whispered. The full meaning of the word hit me like I was finally realizing what happened to me. I had never even said it out loud before. I just tried to forget about it. I looked up, wondering how everyone was taking this. Lem was staring at me. She wasn't even blinking. Soda was looking at me,his beautiful brown eyes wide as saucers, his mouth hanging open. Dally wasn't looking at me anymore. He was busy tearing up anything in the ground he could find. He had too much rage to hide it all. Ripping up the ground was the best was to help it right now. Their horrified and furious reaction seemed to seal the deal for me. I guess that was the last straw for me on that particular subject. I brought my knees up to my face and started to cry into them. After all the crying I was doing today, it was gonna take me the rest of my life to make up for it. God, I hadn't cried this much since the day I was born. I tried to gasp out what had happened next, but I couldn't get the breath yo make out the words. Either Soda or Dally seemed to recover though, because suddenly I felt tough, muscled arms around me, pulling me. I didn't resist them. Quite the opposite. I turned into them and put my arms around the person's chest. Then I turned my head and rested my head against his chest,still crying.When I breathed in, I recognized the scent. It was Sodapop. My heart lifted, He was holding ME. He didn't hate me anymore! He loved me again! I turned my face into him. I felt his hand make circles againt my back, soothing me. He kissed the top of my head and rested his cheek against it. "Shhhh. Shhh. It's all right. It's all over now. You're safe. I'm here." he whispered to me. I squeezed him tighter. I felt completely safe in Soda's arms. With him around, no one would hurt me. Physically at least. But you can't be in love without risking your heart can you? It felt so GOOD to have his arms around me, holding me tight like I was the only girl in the entire world for him. It was possesive, comforting, soothing, enticing, all at once. And I stopped crying. My world was finally righting itself. I had Soda back, I didn't have to think about that Soc anymore and did I mention I had Soda back? I breathed him in. He smelled sooo good. I sniffed a little. I playfully whimpered and clung to him. He seemed to sense the playfullness because he smiled too. I suddenly realized that neither of us really had to say anything else anymore. It was all ok now. I understood what Soda had done and he understood what I had, or rather hadn't, done. We both knew why. We loved each other. I may be younger but I was still mature and he could wait a while. He wasn't THAT much older. Only two or three years. I didn't blurt out the rest of the story. I had, afterwards taken a pregnancy test and gotten a negative. One monster down. The next week, after I had recoperated a bit (losing your virginity by someone really rough really really hurts) I went out, got a piece of pipe, and found the guy. After I beat the shit out of him, I did send him to the hospital with three broken ribs, a fractured face, and in need of a serious testicle re-attatchment. He was scared so shitless, he never told anyone ANYTHING. I had had a serious victory party by going to the city with Dally, Soda, Lem, Steve, and Two-Bit though they always thought it was just happy to be over the pox. Until now, that is. Both monsters down. I felt Soda cross his legs. He had to let go a little and in response I clung to him even more tightly. He laughed a little, and I thought how good it was to hear something happy and light, and there's nothing happier than one of Soda's true laughs. Then I felt myself being pulled up and then be settled back down into his legs. I had closed my eyes as soon as Soda had put his arms around me that first time and buried my face in his chest, but now I opened them. My legs were drapped over the side of one of Soda's. My arms were around his chest, and his arms were holding me up, making little circles in my back while he smiled down at me. I tilted my head up and smiled back at him contentedly. He brushed the tear streaks off my face and I leaned into his hand. " I Love You Belle,"He said to me, all his emotion demanding at least capital letters. His eyes took on a slightly fearful look, as if he was scared that I wouldn't say it back, that I didn't love him anymore. I smiled up at him. I unlinked my hands from around his back, unwound one of them and raised to his Soda's face. I stroked the side of his face, his lips, his eyelids, his chin, his forehead, everything I could touch, as gently as if I was hardly touching him at all. "I love you too, Soda." I said finally. His eyes brightened and his smile widened and his head leaned down and suddenly, his lips were on mine, fire was going all through my body, I heard rushes of air go past my ears with the hint of violins and clarinets and pianos and harps, my eyes closed, I saw stars through my eyelids. Electricity rushed through my body, my heart pounded in my chest, I never wanted the kiss to end. He pulled back finally, much to my despair although the hope and wonderous knowing that it would all happen again filled me with ecstatic happiness. I whimpered, grabbed his head, and lowered his lips towards mine again, my fingers threading through his hair. His luscious curls felt like silk in my fingers. He greedily captured my mouth again. His tongue ran lightly across the insides of my lips, making me shiver. I opened my mouth and his tongue quickly slipped in, tasting me. He ran it across my teeth, tickled the roof of my tongue, then ran it across my own tongue. My tongue tangled with his before he drew back, taking me with him. He broke the kiss briefly to gulp at air, and then he press his lips to mine again. My tongue hesitantly ran across his lips. I had never truly frenched before, believe it or not. He shivered though and a slimmer of confidence ran through me. I pressed lightly against his teeth. He opened and I glided my tongue into his mouth gently. He was pantient, letting me get the feel and taste of him, letting me get the hang of it. I brushed around his teeth, ran across the roof of his mouth, let my tongue rest on his for a few moments, savoring him, before our tongues tangled together once more, lacing around each other, both of us savoring the other. I pulled back after a little bit. I needed oxygen. He reluctantly let go and the kiss ended with that wonderful little slurping sound at the end. I breathed heavily, regaining my regular breathing rate. He gulped slightly. His forehead rested against mine and my eyes opened. A second later, his opened and our eyes locked completely. Nothing else existed in the world other than us and our kisses.