Harry's Humor
~*~*~*~*~
Harry: Hello to all you Harry fans out there! Whoo! I love you all! I'm Harry Potter, and I'm number one!!
(fans screaming in the audience)
Draco: Yeah right, Potter, you wouldn't even be number negative seven if our brilliant author didn't cut you a break and let you win all those fights
Harry: (glares at Draco) anyway, as I was saying before I got rudely interrupted, welcome to Harry's Humor! And since MoonlightGoddess isn't able to make it to the show tonight, I'm gonna be the amazing host and Draco here(points at Draco carelessly)will be my assistant. (winks at audience)
Draco: I wanted to be host too!
Harry: So?
Draco: Well, at least let me say the disclaimer's notes, please?
Harry: (rolls eyes) Fine, fine, fine.
Draco: (clears voice, holds out scrap of paper. Squints)All right, um,(clears throat)The-amazing-Harry-Potter-and-all-characters-belong to the magnificent-and-brilliant-JK-Rowling-please-don't-sue!( looks up from paper) ha! See, Potter, I'm just as good as you!(looks around) Potter? POTTER!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* WALA!!
Harry: (running around with face all green, and something in his mouth) ahh! Ahh! Wala! Wala! Oh, God, help me!
Hermione: (sighs) If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times, Harry, quit mistaking Ron's dirty socks for pancakes!
Harry: Wala! WALA!!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 4 MONTH & 27 DAYS!!
Harry: (on his knees, with diamond ring)Ginny, my love, will you do me the honors of -
Ginny: (holds up hand) hub, bub, bub, don't even say it, Harry
Harry: Huh? But, Ginny, darling, I love you! Why won't you marry me?
Ginny: Um, you might want to ask the fact that you haven't bathed in four months and twenty-seven days?
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* CENTIPEDE??
Ron: (on the streets as begger) Spare a change, gentlemen?
Director: CUT!! PRINT!! That was excellent, Ron, fantastic job, I loved it when you played dumb and ate that centipede, your expression was excellent!
Ron: (very pale) Centipede?
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* HULA HULA DRAKE!!
Draco: (in nothing but underpants and a hula hoop around his neck, running around) MUUWAHAHAHAHAH!!!!! I am the evil hula hula Drake, and I'm GONNA do the HULA!!!!!!!!!
(runs past Hermione, who was reading Hogwarts: A History)
Hermione: (sits up) Draco? Draco! Did you forget to take your pills again? (sighs) Professor Dumbledore even reminded you to take them hourly!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* MY GAME OR MY GIRL??
Hermione: Um, Draco? Can I say something?
Draco: (playing Game Boy) Yeah?
Hermione: Well, I-I've been thinking over the summer, and um, you know what I concluded?
Draco: ( player in Game Boy loses a life) WHAT?? ( stares at Game Boy)
Hermione: Okay, I um, you know this is very hard for me to say, but-
Draco: (trying to get player in game to shoot his ammo) Oh, for Heaven's sake, SHOOT, DAMMIT!!
Hermione: Oh! Well, um, fine, I-I-I can't say it! I don't want to hurt you, Draco! Do you want me to say it?
Draco: (player in game scores an extra life) YES!!
Hermione: All right, I think we should break up. (shuts eyes for shocking response)
Draco: (player in game dies) Oh, FUCK!!
Hermione: (bursts into tears) I knew it! I'm sorry, Draco! But I've fallen in love with Harry!
Draco: (still staring at Game Boy) Damn! I will never get these Mudblood shits!
Hermione: (gasps) I know you're hurt, Draco, but there's no need to swear at me! I hate you! I'm leaving, have a nice life! (storms out of room)
Draco: (sighs) Fuck. How can my player die like that? Now, Hermione, did you want to say something? Hermione? (looks around) Oh, well. (turns back to Game Boy)
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* WHEN YOU FALL IN LOVE.
Ginny: (singing)When you fall into a river, there is a boat!
Draco: (singing) When you fall into a well, there is a rope!
Ron: (singing) When you fall in love.
Neville: (jumps into the group, arms outstretched.) There is no hooooope?
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* HELP!!
Hermione: (being held captive by pirates) Help!! Somebody help me!! (waving arms around-like Olive in Popeye.)
Harry: Whoa-oh-oh-ohhh-oh-oh-ohhhhh(A/N-ya know, Tarzan yell() Hang on, my love! I'll save you!(swings down from rope) Whoa-oh-oh-ohhh-oh-oh-ohhhhh! Whaaaaaaaaaa!
CRUNCH!!!
Harry: (slams into tree) CRAP!! I did it AGAIN!! Oww.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* RAW STARFISH!!
Hermione: (with a plate of food) Here, Draco, try one of these. They're delicious.
Draco: Mmmm.They are good, what is it?
Hermione: Raw starfish. I got them from the giant squid in the lake.
Draco: (turning green) Um.uh.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* MANOUER!!
Ron: (carrying Hermione in his arms) Just you wait, 'Mione, I bought you the most glamorous necklace there is.
Ron: (trips on stone on the ground) Whoaaaa!!
Hermione: (sent flying) Ronnnn!!
SPLAT!!
Hermione: ( in a pile of manoeur) Ronn!!
Ron: (sweatdrops) oops. Hee hee, sorry!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* NOWHERE ISLAND
Harry: Everyone hit the deck!
(everybody fell flat on the ship's deck.)
Draco: Why are we doing this, Potter? Nothing's happened.
Harry: (shrugs) I dunno. I just seen lotsa people do it in movies, all right?
Ginny: AHHHH!!! The boat's sinking!
Ron: Everyone, quick! Grab a live jacket and put it on!
Everyone: HOW?????
Ron: Oh, crap! I forgot to teach you! I forgot to teach myself!
Hermione: Jump!
SPLASH!!
Draco: I think we're save on this island. Wherever this island is.
Harry: We're on Nowhere Island.
Draco: Duh, Potter.
Harry: No, really. (points to sign: NOWHERE ISLAND)
Ginny: We'll be castaways! Like that movie, Cast Away!
Harry: Yeah, Tom Hanks rocks.
Hermione: Oh, no!
Everyone: What? What?
Hermione: I just realized something.
Everyone: What? What?
Hermione: We're stuck on Nowhere Island!
TO BE CONTINUED.
~*~*~*~*~*
Harry: Hello again, my lovely fans!
(fans screaming in the audience)
Harry: Well, I'm afraid that's all the time we have left for today, please rewiew! MoonlightGoddess loves reviews! And if any of you are interested in reading more of our enchanting humors again, please come back in two days. Now I'm serious, MoonlightGoddess is very, very, very punctual. If she says two days, then she means two days. Very punctual. Unlike somebody around here.(glares at Draco)
Draco: What? What's your problem, Potter?
Harry: Oh, look who's talking, Mister I-gotta-go-to-the-bathroom-I'll-be- back-in-five-minutes-but-wasn't-back-for-two-hours. You gotta see a doctor about your bladder problem, Malfoy.
Draco: Please don't listen to the madman, my fellow Draco fans, we'll be back on Harry's Humor, and once again, I'm the amazing Draco, and this over here is the um, not so amazing Harry Potter.
Harry: Hey!
~*~*~*~*~
Harry: Hello to all you Harry fans out there! Whoo! I love you all! I'm Harry Potter, and I'm number one!!
(fans screaming in the audience)
Draco: Yeah right, Potter, you wouldn't even be number negative seven if our brilliant author didn't cut you a break and let you win all those fights
Harry: (glares at Draco) anyway, as I was saying before I got rudely interrupted, welcome to Harry's Humor! And since MoonlightGoddess isn't able to make it to the show tonight, I'm gonna be the amazing host and Draco here(points at Draco carelessly)will be my assistant. (winks at audience)
Draco: I wanted to be host too!
Harry: So?
Draco: Well, at least let me say the disclaimer's notes, please?
Harry: (rolls eyes) Fine, fine, fine.
Draco: (clears voice, holds out scrap of paper. Squints)All right, um,(clears throat)The-amazing-Harry-Potter-and-all-characters-belong to the magnificent-and-brilliant-JK-Rowling-please-don't-sue!( looks up from paper) ha! See, Potter, I'm just as good as you!(looks around) Potter? POTTER!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* WALA!!
Harry: (running around with face all green, and something in his mouth) ahh! Ahh! Wala! Wala! Oh, God, help me!
Hermione: (sighs) If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times, Harry, quit mistaking Ron's dirty socks for pancakes!
Harry: Wala! WALA!!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 4 MONTH & 27 DAYS!!
Harry: (on his knees, with diamond ring)Ginny, my love, will you do me the honors of -
Ginny: (holds up hand) hub, bub, bub, don't even say it, Harry
Harry: Huh? But, Ginny, darling, I love you! Why won't you marry me?
Ginny: Um, you might want to ask the fact that you haven't bathed in four months and twenty-seven days?
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* CENTIPEDE??
Ron: (on the streets as begger) Spare a change, gentlemen?
Director: CUT!! PRINT!! That was excellent, Ron, fantastic job, I loved it when you played dumb and ate that centipede, your expression was excellent!
Ron: (very pale) Centipede?
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* HULA HULA DRAKE!!
Draco: (in nothing but underpants and a hula hoop around his neck, running around) MUUWAHAHAHAHAH!!!!! I am the evil hula hula Drake, and I'm GONNA do the HULA!!!!!!!!!
(runs past Hermione, who was reading Hogwarts: A History)
Hermione: (sits up) Draco? Draco! Did you forget to take your pills again? (sighs) Professor Dumbledore even reminded you to take them hourly!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* MY GAME OR MY GIRL??
Hermione: Um, Draco? Can I say something?
Draco: (playing Game Boy) Yeah?
Hermione: Well, I-I've been thinking over the summer, and um, you know what I concluded?
Draco: ( player in Game Boy loses a life) WHAT?? ( stares at Game Boy)
Hermione: Okay, I um, you know this is very hard for me to say, but-
Draco: (trying to get player in game to shoot his ammo) Oh, for Heaven's sake, SHOOT, DAMMIT!!
Hermione: Oh! Well, um, fine, I-I-I can't say it! I don't want to hurt you, Draco! Do you want me to say it?
Draco: (player in game scores an extra life) YES!!
Hermione: All right, I think we should break up. (shuts eyes for shocking response)
Draco: (player in game dies) Oh, FUCK!!
Hermione: (bursts into tears) I knew it! I'm sorry, Draco! But I've fallen in love with Harry!
Draco: (still staring at Game Boy) Damn! I will never get these Mudblood shits!
Hermione: (gasps) I know you're hurt, Draco, but there's no need to swear at me! I hate you! I'm leaving, have a nice life! (storms out of room)
Draco: (sighs) Fuck. How can my player die like that? Now, Hermione, did you want to say something? Hermione? (looks around) Oh, well. (turns back to Game Boy)
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* WHEN YOU FALL IN LOVE.
Ginny: (singing)When you fall into a river, there is a boat!
Draco: (singing) When you fall into a well, there is a rope!
Ron: (singing) When you fall in love.
Neville: (jumps into the group, arms outstretched.) There is no hooooope?
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* HELP!!
Hermione: (being held captive by pirates) Help!! Somebody help me!! (waving arms around-like Olive in Popeye.)
Harry: Whoa-oh-oh-ohhh-oh-oh-ohhhhh(A/N-ya know, Tarzan yell() Hang on, my love! I'll save you!(swings down from rope) Whoa-oh-oh-ohhh-oh-oh-ohhhhh! Whaaaaaaaaaa!
CRUNCH!!!
Harry: (slams into tree) CRAP!! I did it AGAIN!! Oww.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* RAW STARFISH!!
Hermione: (with a plate of food) Here, Draco, try one of these. They're delicious.
Draco: Mmmm.They are good, what is it?
Hermione: Raw starfish. I got them from the giant squid in the lake.
Draco: (turning green) Um.uh.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* MANOUER!!
Ron: (carrying Hermione in his arms) Just you wait, 'Mione, I bought you the most glamorous necklace there is.
Ron: (trips on stone on the ground) Whoaaaa!!
Hermione: (sent flying) Ronnnn!!
SPLAT!!
Hermione: ( in a pile of manoeur) Ronn!!
Ron: (sweatdrops) oops. Hee hee, sorry!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* NOWHERE ISLAND
Harry: Everyone hit the deck!
(everybody fell flat on the ship's deck.)
Draco: Why are we doing this, Potter? Nothing's happened.
Harry: (shrugs) I dunno. I just seen lotsa people do it in movies, all right?
Ginny: AHHHH!!! The boat's sinking!
Ron: Everyone, quick! Grab a live jacket and put it on!
Everyone: HOW?????
Ron: Oh, crap! I forgot to teach you! I forgot to teach myself!
Hermione: Jump!
SPLASH!!
Draco: I think we're save on this island. Wherever this island is.
Harry: We're on Nowhere Island.
Draco: Duh, Potter.
Harry: No, really. (points to sign: NOWHERE ISLAND)
Ginny: We'll be castaways! Like that movie, Cast Away!
Harry: Yeah, Tom Hanks rocks.
Hermione: Oh, no!
Everyone: What? What?
Hermione: I just realized something.
Everyone: What? What?
Hermione: We're stuck on Nowhere Island!
TO BE CONTINUED.
~*~*~*~*~*
Harry: Hello again, my lovely fans!
(fans screaming in the audience)
Harry: Well, I'm afraid that's all the time we have left for today, please rewiew! MoonlightGoddess loves reviews! And if any of you are interested in reading more of our enchanting humors again, please come back in two days. Now I'm serious, MoonlightGoddess is very, very, very punctual. If she says two days, then she means two days. Very punctual. Unlike somebody around here.(glares at Draco)
Draco: What? What's your problem, Potter?
Harry: Oh, look who's talking, Mister I-gotta-go-to-the-bathroom-I'll-be- back-in-five-minutes-but-wasn't-back-for-two-hours. You gotta see a doctor about your bladder problem, Malfoy.
Draco: Please don't listen to the madman, my fellow Draco fans, we'll be back on Harry's Humor, and once again, I'm the amazing Draco, and this over here is the um, not so amazing Harry Potter.
Harry: Hey!