Title: Appearances (or Love at 1001st Sight) 3/3
Author: Cyberwulf
Rating: PG
Summary: Buffy's learned that things aren't always what they seem. What's she going to do now?
Spoilers: Set in season 5, but no specific ones. Oh, except Riley's out of the picture.
Disclaimer: It's all Joss's, except the plot.
Distribution: You want it, it's yours, just tell me where it's going.
Feedback: Feed the Wulf! cyberwulf_1andonly@.yahoo.co.uk
Monday found Buffy in a bad mood. Not only had Dawn relentlessly teased her all Sunday, she'd had a dream that night in which she and Giles were walking along a beach together. The whole thing had seemed unsettlingly real – she'd felt the sun on her back, the gentle breeze blowing through her hair, her sarong fluttering around her bare legs. She couldn't remember what they'd talked about – probably because Dream-Giles was wearing blue Speedos and nothing else – but for some reason all the dialogue was in Shakespearean English, and it had something to do with a flying dog. Then, at breakfast, Dawn had started again (" Want some *tea*, Buffy? Tea like *Giles* drinks?"), and her mom had joined in ("I could bake you some scones . . ."). To top it all off, she couldn't remember what her last lecture had been about, because the professor had mentioned Darwin at the start of class, which had given her a mental image of all the guys in her life making up man's evolutionary scale. Spike was near the end, barely down out of the trees, knuckles dragging on the ground. Next came Riley, mostly brawn and not much brain. Xander was in there as Homo Habilis, "Handy Man", almost there but not quite, clutching crude stone tools. And finally there was Giles as Homo Sapiens, the pinnacle of evolution, complete with fire, the wheel, a spear, a leopard-print loincloth and – bizarrely – glasses. All in all, Buffy's day was not going well. She stomped into the cafeteria, got some food, and stomped over to an empty table and glared down at her meal. She barely looked up as her best friend sat down opposite her.
" So," Willow asked, " you think about Giles at all yesterday?"
" Oh, Will," Buffy sighed. " I couldn't think about anything else. I thought maybe not seeing him for a day would make everything somehow go back to normal, but it didn't!" She pushed her food around on her plate. " It's like, before Saturday, when I looked at Giles, I just saw – Giles. Now I look at him and I see this handsome, well-built, smart, kind, brave, caring, gentle guy, and I can't believe I never saw it before!" Buffy banged down her fork in frustration. " And now I'm totally obsessing. I can't get him out of my mind. It's like there's a spell on me!"
" He bewitched you with his magic butt!" Willow declared dramatically. Both girls burst into laughter.
" So," Willow asked when they had calmed down, " you gonna tell him how you feel?"
Buffy stared at her friend in horror.
" I can't tell Giles I'm having . . . snuggly feelings about him!" she replied. " He doesn't feel that way about me, and I'd rather spare myself the embarrassment."
" How do you know how Giles feels?" Willow asked.
" Quentin Travers," Buffy answered with a heavy sigh. At Willow's quizzical look, she continued. " When he fired Giles, Travers said that Giles had a father's love for me. His exact words: 'A father's love for the child'."
" Pfft!" Willow snorted dismissively. " What does Quentin Travers know? What did Giles say?"
" Nothing," Buffy admitted. " But he didn't exactly rush to deny it, did he?" She pushed away her plate, and glumly rested her chin on her hand. " That's all I'll ever be to him – the little girl he always wanted." She frowned. " Well, more like the little girl who was thrust upon him, stopping him from having a life of his own, and who never listens to him, or appreciates him, and who keeps hurting him, but who he's still kinda fond of . . . I hope . . ."
" Sure he's fond of you," Willow said earnestly. " He cares about you, Buffy."
" Great," Buffy sighed miserably. " He cares about me. Caring's good. It's . . . safe and comforting. But . . . part of me wants more than just caring now. And the rest of me is scared and confused and . . ." She sighed again, in frustration this time. " How does it happen, Will? How can you see someone every day for years and then all of a sudden bam! wake up and smell the hottie?"
" Well, that's what happened with me and Xander," Willow replied. Her eyes widened suddenly and she covered her mouth with her hands. " Uh, which is a really, really bad example, because of all the lying and heartbreak and people getting impaled . . ."
Buffy gave a small smile.
" But, a-at least I finally found out what it would be like to be with Xander," Willow went on. Buffy rolled her eyes, guessing what was coming next. " I think you should tell Giles how you feel," the red-head declared. " At least then you won't always wonder."
" Willow, no," Buffy said firmly. " I'm not telling Giles, and neither are you. It's just easier this way." She picked a French fry off her plate. " I can control myself. Just as long as I'm not alone with him . . ."
Willow watched as Buffy's expression changed from confident to slow realisation to dawning horror.
---
" You don't have to go," Willow said as Buffy grimly walked towards the Magic Box. " It's not too late to make up an excuse. Tell him – tell him you're sick. Ooh – tell him you have period pain! Guys are really sympathetic about that . . ."
" Will, I already acted weird around Giles on Saturday," Buffy replied. " If I suddenly cancel training, he'll know something's up." The girls entered the shop. "It's no big deal. He's just Giles."
She looked around. Anya was standing by the till, trying to talk to Xander and keep a look-out for shoplifters at the same time. Giles was over by the shelves, talking to a pair of female customers. He was wearing a navy suit, a blue shirt and a stripy tie. Buffy barely heard Xander's " Heya, Buffster!".
*Man, he looks really sharp in that suit . . .* Buffy closed her eyes. *He's just Giles,* she told herself firmly. She opened them again. Giles and the two women were deep in conversation. One of them pointed at the lower shelves. Giles squatted down to get something off them. The women stood back a little and Buffy realised they were looking at Giles' ass. A flash of jealously and possessiveness went through her, and she was shocked by its intensity. She turned away and tried to stop scowling.
*He's just Giles, he's just Giles, he's just Giles . . .*
" Ah, Buffy."
His voice was so near that Buffy started in fright. She turned and looked up at her Watcher.
" Ready for a spot of training?" Giles asked.
" Sure," Buffy squeaked.
" Come on then," Giles declared. " No time to lose."
He waved his hand in the direction of the training room door, indicating that she go in first. Glumly, Buffy headed for the back of the shop, feeling like a prisoner going to her execution.
---
Buffy looked up as Giles came into the training room, wearing his usual grey cotton sweat pants and white T-shirt. *That shirt's gonna get all see-through from sweat and then I'll be able to see his chest hair and . . .* Buffy turned away and forced herself to concentrate on her stretching.
" All right," she heard Giles remark, " I think we'll work with the pads today." Buffy straightened and saw him putting two of the smaller punching pads on his hands. He took up position in front of her. Buffy took a few deep breaths. *Okay. I can do this. I can get hot and sweaty with Giles and not make an idiot of myself . . .* She got into her stance and put her guard up.
" When you're ready," Giles told her.
Buffy got to work, aiming for the black spot in the centre of the pads. After a few minutes, Giles started to move around. Buffy tried to match his movements, but she was distracted by the way his T-shirt was starting to stick to his increasingly sweaty body, giving her a wonderful outline of his powerful chest. She began to miss her targets.
" Come on!" Giles barked. " Harder! Faster!"
Buffy tried to keep up, but failed miserably. She swung wildly at his hand and missed. Giles cuffed her lightly on the side of the head with the other pad.
" Ow!"
" You're not concentrating," he admonished with an angry frown.
Buffy wiped the sweat off her face and glared back at him. They held each other's gaze for a few moments.
" What's the matter?" Giles asked gently.
" Nothing!" Buffy protested. She mentally kicked herself. *Wow, way to get defensive, Buff.*
Giles gave her his 'no nonsense' stare.
" There's something on your mind, Buffy, and it's affecting your performance. Now let's have it."
Buffy heaved a sigh.
" I have this report due in tomorrow," she lied. " It counts towards our final mark, and I'm worried that what I've done isn't any good."
She looked up at him. He looked back, eyes roving over her face. Buffy tried not to go red as a sense of panic filled her. *He knows I'm lying. He knows there's something more-*
Abruptly Giles broke eye contact.
" All right," he sighed. He removed the pads and his glasses. " Let's work on your hand-to-hand."
Buffy swallowed, trying to quell the butterflies that suddenly filled her stomach. Giles got into a stance and put his guard up. Buffy did the same and they circled each other. Buffy eyed her Watcher. *Look at those muscles. How'd I miss them? Boy, Giles sure is in good shape . . .* She had a sudden mental image of herself, working scented massage oil into his impressive biceps . . .
He came in hard from the left, taking Buffy by surprise. It was all she could do to hold her own. Giles caught her and attempted a hip throw. Buffy grabbed him as he did so, and they both went down. Buffy rolled over and pinned him.
Giles lay under her, panting heavily. Buffy gazed down at him. His mouth was so close to hers . . . She lowered her head, closed her eyes, and pressed her lips against his. They were soft and velvety and salty and warm. Buffy ran her hand over his chest, wishing his T-shirt wasn't in the way so she could caress the hairs beneath it. She broke the kiss and opened her eyes.
Giles was staring at her in bewilderment.
" Buffy?"
" Oh God," Buffy stuttered. The reality of the situation hit her and she scrambled up and away from him. " Oh God. Oh God, Giles, I . . ." She grabbed her jacket from where it was lying on the gym horse. " Sorry!"
Giles stared after her as she fled. He could barely believe what had happened. Buffy'd kissed him. Buffy'd kissed him! Buffy'd . . . run off. Giles sat up suddenly. He got to his feet.
" Buffy!"
Xander, Willow and Anya looked up in surprise as Buffy raced past them and out of the shop.
" Where's the fire?" Xander called.
" She looked upset," Willow said anxiously. She turned to Anya. " Did she seem upset to you?"
Anya shrugged.
" Where is she?"
Three heads turned as Giles appeared at the training room door. He saw Buffy disappear past one of the shop's windows.
" Never mind," he said, taking off after her.
Buffy ran as fast as she could down the street, away from the Magic Box. Giles followed, weaving through the pedestrians as best he could. Why had she kissed him? And why had she run away? Uneasy thoughts crept into his mind. What if she was just missing Riley? Worse – what if she'd kissed him for a bet or a dare? Giles shook his head. Buffy would never do something so thoughtless. A sudden chill went through him. Of course she would. She was Buffy. Thoughtless was her middle name. He put on a burst of speed. He had to know the reason, no matter how painful it might be.
Ahead of him, Buffy sprinted across the street and into the park. Giles ran across the road, ignoring the torrent of abuse from the motorists who had to swerve to avoid him. He hadn't quite caught her up, but he was within shouting distance.
" Buffy!"
Buffy stopped, hearing her Watcher's breathless voice. She crossed her arms and rubbed her forehead. She couldn't face him. She suddenly felt like crying.
Giles jogged up to her. " Buffy." She didn't move. " Buffy . . ." He reached out and she flinched away. Giles dropped his arm. " Why did you kiss me just now?"
" I don't know," Buffy answered miserably.
" I'm afraid I can't accept that, Buffy," Giles replied quietly. " Young women aren't exactly lining up to kiss me, so if you please . . ."
Buffy whirled around.
" Okay," she said. " You want an explanation? Try looking in the mirror!" Giles stared at her. " Look at you!" Buffy gestured at his arms. " You have biceps! Why do you have biceps? Why didn't I notice them before?" She looked up at him. " Your eyes, Giles . . . there should be a – a law against you wearing glasses, they're beautiful!" He gazed at her, barely comprehending what he was hearing. Buffy looked at the ground. " Then – we were on the floor and your lips were so close and kissable . . . I just wanted to see what it was like . . ." She sank onto a nearby bench. " Giles, ever since I noticed your butt in the parking lot it's like I'm seeing you for the first time. And I really like what I see. But I don't know what to do about it, because you're still Giles and my Watcher." She sighed. " I'm so confused."
" Stand up."
Buffy looked up at him. " What?"
" Stand up," Giles repeated. " I want to try something. It won't take long." He extended a hand to her. Buffy took it and let him help her up. Giles gently pulled her closer until their bodies were almost touching. He tilted her head up and gazed down into her eyes. Buffy looked up at him with a mixture of nervousness and anticipation. Giles brushed back her hair, then he lowered his head and covered her lips with his. It was a brief, gentle kiss, and when he pulled away Buffy followed, seeking his touch. He kissed her again, sliding an arm around her waist. This time their tongues met, his massaging hers, flicking across the roof of her mouth. Buffy moaned as she lost herself in his taste, his scent, his embrace. Giles broke the kiss briefly to take a breath and then resumed kissing her. He was more intense this time, and now Buffy could taste the passion that burned beneath his calm exterior. Her face filled with heat, her legs turned to jelly and she ran her hands up and down his warm, broad back. Buffy whimpered when he finished kissing her. She leaned her head against his chest, breathing him in. He smelled of old books and Old Spice, tea and sweat and some kind of incense. He had his other arm around her now, caressing her back, holding her to him.
" Still confused?" he murmured in her ear.
" Kinda," Buffy replied. She looked up at him. " I mean, you just kissed me like you really meant it . . ."
He nodded, giving her an uncertain smile.
" So why didn't you ever tell me you felt that way about me?"
She heard Giles chuckle, and felt it rumbling in his chest. He grinned down at her.
" Because," he explained, " ironic as it may seem, I never thought you'd look at me the way you do now."
Buffy stared at him for a few seconds, then began to laugh.
" Well, I'm really glad I finally wised up to what a great guy I had right in front of me all along," she said at last. " And to think, if your friend hadn't broken down in the parking lot –" She frowned suddenly. " Uh oh. She's not an Olivia-type friend, is she?"
" Buffy, you've got nothing to worry about," Giles assured her with a smile. "Rosemary Wilson is happily married, she's seventy-six, and she's in my book club."
" Good," Buffy replied. " Because I want us to try the guy, girl, dating thing."
" I think that could be arranged," Giles answered. " How about dinner Friday night?"
" Dinner's good," Buffy answered. " Pick me up around eight." She stood on tiptoe and kissed him on the cheek, then moved out of his embrace and took his hand. The couple turned and began to head back to the Magic Box.
Suddenly Buffy stopped in her tracks.
" Oh no."
Giles turned and stared at her. " Buffy, what is it?"
" How are we gonna explain THIS to Mom?"
The End
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