Harry's Humor
~*~*~*~*~*
Harry: Welcome back, my friends, to another round of Harry's Humor! I have good news and bad news. The good news is that I get to be the host of every single Harry's Humor!
(fans screaming in the audience)
Harry: The bad news is that Draco has to be my assistant in all the rounds.
(Draco fans screaming in the audience)
Draco: Hey, Potter, I expect to be called co-host, instead of assistant. Don't forget your manners, now.
Harry: Don't be cocky with me, Malfoy. I still remember the snog you gave Mione, and I'm not gonna forget it anytime soon! And also, MoonlightGoddess doesn't own any of us and everything that has to do with us belongs to J.K. Rowling!
Draco: And, without further ado, here's the show!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
EVIL TWINS!!
Ginny's evil twin sister: Heh, heh, heh! Now all I have to do is sneak into Hogwarts, snatch Harry, hex him so he would forget about Ginny and fall in love with me!( rubs hands together)
Ginny's evil twin sister: (grabs Harry) Gotcha! Now, look deep into my eyes, you are getting sleepy.hey! Your eyes aren't green! You aren't Harry!
Larry: Nope. I'm "Larry". Harry's evil twin brother. Say, you're kinda cute! I can assure you, doll, that I'm much more charming than my goody goody twin will ever be.
Ginny's evil twin sister: (disgusted) Ugh, if you're not Harry, then take a hike, bozo, I only want Harry. Ta! (Disaparates)
Larry: (frozen in shock) I've been rejected.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
FIREBOLTS!!
Harry: (kicking his Firebolt) Come on! Fly! (slaps Firebolt) Fly, damn it! I'm late for a date with Hermione! Hurry up!
Firebolt: Well, you should've clipped my tail twigs last night.
Harry: (rolls eyes) I'm sorry, I'm sorry, all right? Now, move! We've got reservations at La Chateau Rouge! It cost me a fortune just to get them!
Firebolt: (shrugs tail) Hey, tough. You should've thought about that before you forgot to clip my tail twigs!
Harry: (getting off) All right, that's it. If you don't move right now, I'm going to leave you here.
Firebolt: Good riddance!
Harry: Ya, know, Hermione's bringing her Silver Star 2000 with her.
Firebolt: Silver Star 2000? All right!! (takes off)
Harry: Hey! Hey! HEY!! GOD DAMMIT!!!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
LOBSTER AND CRABBE!!
Ron: I'm getting mighty tired of you, Lobster!
Crabbe: It's Crabbe!
Ron: WHATever, I'm warning you now, leave my sister alone, or I'll make your life living hell, ya hear?
Crabbe: Oh, yeah? You and what army?
Ron: Me and THIS army. (points to behind him)
(Harry, Hermione, Ginny, Draco, Neville drops down from roof)
Harry: We're ready for you, Lobster!
Hermione: We're not afraid of you, Lobster!
Draco: We're gonna cream you, Lobster!
Ginny: You're going down, Lobster!
Neville: You make me sick, Lobster!
Ron: Well, Lobster, any last words?
Crabbe: For the love of God, my NAME is CRABBE!! CRABBE, CRABBE, CRAAAAAABBE!!!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
ACTION!!
Ron: (in director's chair) All right, people, take your places!
Neville: (with camera in hand) Uh, boss.
Ron: Quiet on the set! And.ACTION!!
Harry: (takes out wand) You'redeadMalfoy!
Draco: Gimmeyourbestshot!
Ron: CUT!! Yo, give it a little slowness here, shall we? Slowness!! Now, retake! Take your places!
Neville: Uh, boss.
Ron: Quiet on the set! And.ACTION!!
Harry: (takes out wand) YOU-ARE-DEAAAD-MAAL-FOYYY!!
Draco: GI-ME-YOU-RE-BE-ST-SHOT!!
Ron: CUT!! Yo, man, let it flow with feeling, all right? With feeling! Now, retake! Take your places!
Neville: Uh, boss.
Ron: Quiet on the set! And.ACTION!!
Harry: (takes out wand) you're dead, Malfoy! Ya hear me? DEAD!!
Draco: C'mon, dude, gimmie your best shot!!
Ron: CUT!! PRINT!! That was great! All right, take 15! (turns to Neville)now, what did you want to say to me?
Neville: Uh, boss? There's no film in here.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
MY MISTAKE!!
Harry: (hanging from a cliff) HELP!! Help me! I don't want to die yet!
Nearly Headless Nick: Hang on, my boy! I'll bring you up safely! (glides down beneath Harry) now, jump, my boy!
Harry: (jumps) AAHHH!!! (goes through Nearly Headless Nick) This isn't doing me much goooooood! (falls down cliff)
NHN: (glances down) My mistake.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
WHEREFORE ART THOU??
Hermione: (in Juliet's costume) Harry! Harry! Wherefore art thou?
(crickets in the background)
Hermione: Harry?
(crickets in the background)
Hermione: He.he stood me up! WAHHHH!!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
VALENTINE'S DAY
Ron: (in Cupid's diaper, holding a bow and arrow, singing) Oh, Parvati, my love, I love you always, you are my light!
Draco: Weasley, Valentine's day was yesterday.
Ron: (very red) Um.SOOOO????
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
ROBBIN'
Hermione: Harry, we don't have any more food to feed our baby, what are we going to do?
Harry: Don't cry, Mione, we'll figure things out.
Hermione: Our baby's going to starve! How 'bout this, I'll go out and steal some food for the baby.
Harry: No, Mione, we can't commit such a crime. (puts stocking on face, picks up huge knife) I'll go out and rob a bank, you wait here.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
NOWHERE ISLAND: PART TWO
Harry: Look everybody! It's a plane! We're saved! Hallelujah!
Ginny: All right! We can go home now!
Hermione: Let's go, everybody!
Ron: Gee, we really had fun, didn't we?
Everyone: Yeah.
(gets on plane and start to head home)
Ron: Hey, Harry. Do you feel as though we're missing something?
Harry: (making out with Hermione on the plane) No.
Ron: That's strange. Why do I feel that way? Oh, well.
(back at the NOWHERE ISLAND)
Draco: Hello? Hello? Anybody here? Help! Crabbe? Goyle? .Potter?
~*~*~*~*~*
Harry: I'm sorry, everybody, that that was so short. MoonlightGoddess has writer's block right now. And she's taking a few days off to prepare for her piano exam on the 24th. But rest assured that she'll have the next chapter written up and posted by Tuesday.
Draco: And coming up, on the next chapter.a live talkshow! With all your favorite people! Oh, and please review the chapter! MoonlightGoddess really appreciates the ones she got. She's waiting for more!
Harry: I can't believe we're actually friendly with each other.
Draco: Neither can I.
~*~*~*~*~*
Harry: Welcome back, my friends, to another round of Harry's Humor! I have good news and bad news. The good news is that I get to be the host of every single Harry's Humor!
(fans screaming in the audience)
Harry: The bad news is that Draco has to be my assistant in all the rounds.
(Draco fans screaming in the audience)
Draco: Hey, Potter, I expect to be called co-host, instead of assistant. Don't forget your manners, now.
Harry: Don't be cocky with me, Malfoy. I still remember the snog you gave Mione, and I'm not gonna forget it anytime soon! And also, MoonlightGoddess doesn't own any of us and everything that has to do with us belongs to J.K. Rowling!
Draco: And, without further ado, here's the show!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
EVIL TWINS!!
Ginny's evil twin sister: Heh, heh, heh! Now all I have to do is sneak into Hogwarts, snatch Harry, hex him so he would forget about Ginny and fall in love with me!( rubs hands together)
Ginny's evil twin sister: (grabs Harry) Gotcha! Now, look deep into my eyes, you are getting sleepy.hey! Your eyes aren't green! You aren't Harry!
Larry: Nope. I'm "Larry". Harry's evil twin brother. Say, you're kinda cute! I can assure you, doll, that I'm much more charming than my goody goody twin will ever be.
Ginny's evil twin sister: (disgusted) Ugh, if you're not Harry, then take a hike, bozo, I only want Harry. Ta! (Disaparates)
Larry: (frozen in shock) I've been rejected.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
FIREBOLTS!!
Harry: (kicking his Firebolt) Come on! Fly! (slaps Firebolt) Fly, damn it! I'm late for a date with Hermione! Hurry up!
Firebolt: Well, you should've clipped my tail twigs last night.
Harry: (rolls eyes) I'm sorry, I'm sorry, all right? Now, move! We've got reservations at La Chateau Rouge! It cost me a fortune just to get them!
Firebolt: (shrugs tail) Hey, tough. You should've thought about that before you forgot to clip my tail twigs!
Harry: (getting off) All right, that's it. If you don't move right now, I'm going to leave you here.
Firebolt: Good riddance!
Harry: Ya, know, Hermione's bringing her Silver Star 2000 with her.
Firebolt: Silver Star 2000? All right!! (takes off)
Harry: Hey! Hey! HEY!! GOD DAMMIT!!!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
LOBSTER AND CRABBE!!
Ron: I'm getting mighty tired of you, Lobster!
Crabbe: It's Crabbe!
Ron: WHATever, I'm warning you now, leave my sister alone, or I'll make your life living hell, ya hear?
Crabbe: Oh, yeah? You and what army?
Ron: Me and THIS army. (points to behind him)
(Harry, Hermione, Ginny, Draco, Neville drops down from roof)
Harry: We're ready for you, Lobster!
Hermione: We're not afraid of you, Lobster!
Draco: We're gonna cream you, Lobster!
Ginny: You're going down, Lobster!
Neville: You make me sick, Lobster!
Ron: Well, Lobster, any last words?
Crabbe: For the love of God, my NAME is CRABBE!! CRABBE, CRABBE, CRAAAAAABBE!!!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
ACTION!!
Ron: (in director's chair) All right, people, take your places!
Neville: (with camera in hand) Uh, boss.
Ron: Quiet on the set! And.ACTION!!
Harry: (takes out wand) You'redeadMalfoy!
Draco: Gimmeyourbestshot!
Ron: CUT!! Yo, give it a little slowness here, shall we? Slowness!! Now, retake! Take your places!
Neville: Uh, boss.
Ron: Quiet on the set! And.ACTION!!
Harry: (takes out wand) YOU-ARE-DEAAAD-MAAL-FOYYY!!
Draco: GI-ME-YOU-RE-BE-ST-SHOT!!
Ron: CUT!! Yo, man, let it flow with feeling, all right? With feeling! Now, retake! Take your places!
Neville: Uh, boss.
Ron: Quiet on the set! And.ACTION!!
Harry: (takes out wand) you're dead, Malfoy! Ya hear me? DEAD!!
Draco: C'mon, dude, gimmie your best shot!!
Ron: CUT!! PRINT!! That was great! All right, take 15! (turns to Neville)now, what did you want to say to me?
Neville: Uh, boss? There's no film in here.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
MY MISTAKE!!
Harry: (hanging from a cliff) HELP!! Help me! I don't want to die yet!
Nearly Headless Nick: Hang on, my boy! I'll bring you up safely! (glides down beneath Harry) now, jump, my boy!
Harry: (jumps) AAHHH!!! (goes through Nearly Headless Nick) This isn't doing me much goooooood! (falls down cliff)
NHN: (glances down) My mistake.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
WHEREFORE ART THOU??
Hermione: (in Juliet's costume) Harry! Harry! Wherefore art thou?
(crickets in the background)
Hermione: Harry?
(crickets in the background)
Hermione: He.he stood me up! WAHHHH!!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
VALENTINE'S DAY
Ron: (in Cupid's diaper, holding a bow and arrow, singing) Oh, Parvati, my love, I love you always, you are my light!
Draco: Weasley, Valentine's day was yesterday.
Ron: (very red) Um.SOOOO????
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
ROBBIN'
Hermione: Harry, we don't have any more food to feed our baby, what are we going to do?
Harry: Don't cry, Mione, we'll figure things out.
Hermione: Our baby's going to starve! How 'bout this, I'll go out and steal some food for the baby.
Harry: No, Mione, we can't commit such a crime. (puts stocking on face, picks up huge knife) I'll go out and rob a bank, you wait here.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
NOWHERE ISLAND: PART TWO
Harry: Look everybody! It's a plane! We're saved! Hallelujah!
Ginny: All right! We can go home now!
Hermione: Let's go, everybody!
Ron: Gee, we really had fun, didn't we?
Everyone: Yeah.
(gets on plane and start to head home)
Ron: Hey, Harry. Do you feel as though we're missing something?
Harry: (making out with Hermione on the plane) No.
Ron: That's strange. Why do I feel that way? Oh, well.
(back at the NOWHERE ISLAND)
Draco: Hello? Hello? Anybody here? Help! Crabbe? Goyle? .Potter?
~*~*~*~*~*
Harry: I'm sorry, everybody, that that was so short. MoonlightGoddess has writer's block right now. And she's taking a few days off to prepare for her piano exam on the 24th. But rest assured that she'll have the next chapter written up and posted by Tuesday.
Draco: And coming up, on the next chapter.a live talkshow! With all your favorite people! Oh, and please review the chapter! MoonlightGoddess really appreciates the ones she got. She's waiting for more!
Harry: I can't believe we're actually friendly with each other.
Draco: Neither can I.