Authors' Note: Gods, its been a pain recently to even try and get control
of the body. The only reason we can now is because Cassie thinks our story
here is pretty amusing. Yes people, that WAS a pun.
Disclaimer: Over and over again we tell you, we own nothing! Though our
person would very much like to kidnap Orlando Bloom and Hugo Weaving. If
she does, we'll let you see them for five bucks apiece, until we get sued,
that is.
The Amazing Third Chapter!
Legolas's first sensation was of silk rubbing sensuously against his skin. He actually found the sensation rather pleasant.
The next thing that registered was the pounding headache her had managed to achieve through an amazingly heroic effort in ingesting alcohol. That, he decided, had been a very, very bad idea. He wondered why he had done it in the first place.
Then, he wondered why he was wearing silk, for even though he found it enjoyable, it was still rather disconcerting to suddenly be wearing it, when, as far as he remembered, he was supposed to be wearing a light linen tunic and leather breeches.
Soon, he came to the conclusion that someone had put him into the silk. Vaguely, he wondered who would do a thing like that.
Finally, it occurred to him how.floaty.the silk was. Not robe floaty either. Similar, but.not quite.
Something was definitely wrong. There was nothing he would willingly wear that felt like THAT.
Legolas was in motion. That concept finally penetrated the swiftly fading numbness of his previously wine-fogged brain. How did he know this? The subtle currents of air gently ruffling his hair. That, plus the fact that every time the person carrying him took a step, a rather hard shoulder dug into his stomach.
"Put me down."
"Oh goodie! Poor little Legolas is awake." That came, obviously, from the person carrying him.
"Shut up Haldir, your voice is far too loud." Legolas's mind pounded from the headache, which only intensified with sound.
"No, sorry, I'd rather talk. I'm not putting you down either. It would ruin all our fun, plus Arwen would be oh-so-mad at us."
"Huh?" Legolas slumped wearily, then, using Haldir's shoulder to brace himself, he raised his head and upper body high enough to see around. He kept his eyes closed against the vertigo as the blood rushed out of his head, then slowly blinked them open, squinting against the painful light.
He focused on the closest thing, which just happened to be Haldir's blazingly blonde head.
"Haldir, why couldn't you have had black hair or something?"
Several other voices started giggling at that. Continuing to squint around, Legolas recognized Elladan, Ellrohir and Glorfindel. They all appeared to be in one of the many halls of Rivendell. And apparently heading somewhere with a purpose.
The flow of silk over his legs attracted his attention once more, and he turned so he could see what was causing it, a deep set dread forming, worse than when he was surrounded by Orcs. He blinked dumbly at what he saw, until it finally sank in, causing his horror level to skyrocket.
"WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Legolas shrieked.
The others exploded into laughter, and Legolas, frustrated with a lack of anything else to do, grabbed one of Haldir's convenient ears, and twisted. Violently.
With his laughter abruptly cut off, Haldir dropped Legolas to the ground and yelping all the while, tried to pull away from the enraged elven prince's punishing grasp, to no avail. Legolas, even though he was no longer crushing Haldir's ear, still had a VERY firm grip, and was using the proximity of the delicate orifice to scream inappropriate comments loudly enough to burst his unfortunate victim's eardrums. All to the further amusement of the other elves.
"When I get done with him, the rest of you are gonna be in for it too!" That quieted them down rather quickly. They stared in morbid fascination as Legolas growled evil sounding comments into Haldir's ear as the Lorien elf grew paler and paler.
"Maybe we shouldn't have done that to him." whispered Glorfindel to Elladan.
"Yeah."
Everyone's attention, though mainly focused on the sight of Legolas and Haldir, was immediately snapped to the sounds of footsteps and voices approaching.
"I think the scream came from over there."
Legolas's eyes widened, and glancing down at his embarrassing predicament, ducked behind Haldir just as the investigators of his earlier screaming rounded the corners at the end of the hall.
Aragorn, rounding the corner next to his adoptive father and Gimli, was startled to see four elves who had been missing from the celebrations for several hours now. He noticed how guilty they looked, and was about to inquire about that as he noticed a bit of silk sticking out from behind Haldir.
"Who is that behind you?"
**************************************************************************** ********** Naughty us, leaving off there. Reviews might incline us to write more.
The Amazing Third Chapter!
Legolas's first sensation was of silk rubbing sensuously against his skin. He actually found the sensation rather pleasant.
The next thing that registered was the pounding headache her had managed to achieve through an amazingly heroic effort in ingesting alcohol. That, he decided, had been a very, very bad idea. He wondered why he had done it in the first place.
Then, he wondered why he was wearing silk, for even though he found it enjoyable, it was still rather disconcerting to suddenly be wearing it, when, as far as he remembered, he was supposed to be wearing a light linen tunic and leather breeches.
Soon, he came to the conclusion that someone had put him into the silk. Vaguely, he wondered who would do a thing like that.
Finally, it occurred to him how.floaty.the silk was. Not robe floaty either. Similar, but.not quite.
Something was definitely wrong. There was nothing he would willingly wear that felt like THAT.
Legolas was in motion. That concept finally penetrated the swiftly fading numbness of his previously wine-fogged brain. How did he know this? The subtle currents of air gently ruffling his hair. That, plus the fact that every time the person carrying him took a step, a rather hard shoulder dug into his stomach.
"Put me down."
"Oh goodie! Poor little Legolas is awake." That came, obviously, from the person carrying him.
"Shut up Haldir, your voice is far too loud." Legolas's mind pounded from the headache, which only intensified with sound.
"No, sorry, I'd rather talk. I'm not putting you down either. It would ruin all our fun, plus Arwen would be oh-so-mad at us."
"Huh?" Legolas slumped wearily, then, using Haldir's shoulder to brace himself, he raised his head and upper body high enough to see around. He kept his eyes closed against the vertigo as the blood rushed out of his head, then slowly blinked them open, squinting against the painful light.
He focused on the closest thing, which just happened to be Haldir's blazingly blonde head.
"Haldir, why couldn't you have had black hair or something?"
Several other voices started giggling at that. Continuing to squint around, Legolas recognized Elladan, Ellrohir and Glorfindel. They all appeared to be in one of the many halls of Rivendell. And apparently heading somewhere with a purpose.
The flow of silk over his legs attracted his attention once more, and he turned so he could see what was causing it, a deep set dread forming, worse than when he was surrounded by Orcs. He blinked dumbly at what he saw, until it finally sank in, causing his horror level to skyrocket.
"WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Legolas shrieked.
The others exploded into laughter, and Legolas, frustrated with a lack of anything else to do, grabbed one of Haldir's convenient ears, and twisted. Violently.
With his laughter abruptly cut off, Haldir dropped Legolas to the ground and yelping all the while, tried to pull away from the enraged elven prince's punishing grasp, to no avail. Legolas, even though he was no longer crushing Haldir's ear, still had a VERY firm grip, and was using the proximity of the delicate orifice to scream inappropriate comments loudly enough to burst his unfortunate victim's eardrums. All to the further amusement of the other elves.
"When I get done with him, the rest of you are gonna be in for it too!" That quieted them down rather quickly. They stared in morbid fascination as Legolas growled evil sounding comments into Haldir's ear as the Lorien elf grew paler and paler.
"Maybe we shouldn't have done that to him." whispered Glorfindel to Elladan.
"Yeah."
Everyone's attention, though mainly focused on the sight of Legolas and Haldir, was immediately snapped to the sounds of footsteps and voices approaching.
"I think the scream came from over there."
Legolas's eyes widened, and glancing down at his embarrassing predicament, ducked behind Haldir just as the investigators of his earlier screaming rounded the corners at the end of the hall.
Aragorn, rounding the corner next to his adoptive father and Gimli, was startled to see four elves who had been missing from the celebrations for several hours now. He noticed how guilty they looked, and was about to inquire about that as he noticed a bit of silk sticking out from behind Haldir.
"Who is that behind you?"
**************************************************************************** ********** Naughty us, leaving off there. Reviews might incline us to write more.