Rating: R If there was a "sane" part of town, then this house was the furthest from it....DUN DUN DUN....alright you guys i wrote this at an all time sugar high. well...ok, it wasnt that bad, i wasnt seeing pink leprecahns or anything..... Oh by the way...the spelling sucks, i know. e-mail me back!
[a small 2 story house sitting on a hill]
[inside, Ashley is making french toast, humming to herself]
Ashley: Lahahhh Lahhhh LAAAAHHHH!!!
[a bloodcurling scream is heard, and then Juliana comes bounding down the stairs]
Juliana: Ashley! Why is there a man in my bed?!
Ashley: We-eee-eelll, once i was done with him I tried to get some sleep but he kept stealing the covers, so i put him in your bed.
Juliana: Ashley, i thought you promised not to do that anymore!
Ashley: [shrugs] hey, you havent been in the bathroom yet have you?
Juliana: no, why? [steals some toast and starts to head upstairs]
Ashley: Wake up Sexy Blonde and tell him he needs to get to work soon.
Juliana: [rolls eyes]
[hours later, Ashley is still trying to convince Sexy Blonde to leave]
Ashley: [giggles] no, come on....[recieves kisses] no, you really have to gooooo....
[juliana is at work sitting in her office staring at the blinker cursor. She blinks in tune with it. the phone rings]
Juliana: hello?
Ashley: Why hello there! Heeeey, you dont mine if I already invited over an old witch doctor for a seiance do you?
Juliana: Ashley, how on earth did you find a witch doctor?
Ashley: Well, funny story actually, Sexy Blonde's mother escaped from the mental facility again so he had to go and get her, but he didnt have his car, so I drove him and then BAM out of nowhere....
Juliana: You bumped into a witch doctor
Ashley: No, more like nearly ran her over. Sexy Blonde threw her in the trunk. When she woke up she was putting curses on me and sucking her toes. Can i keep her?!
Juliana: [sighs] Fine, but you owe me one!
Ashley: Brown or Blue?
Juliana: What?
Ashley: Do you want a man with brown eyes or blue eyes?
Juliana: How on earth did you come up with that?
Ashley: You said i owed you one, so I wanted to know your preferences before I went out to the bar and brought home some sex for you.
Juliana: Say goodbye Ashley
Ashley: Goodbye ashley!
******
[Juliana comes home, the witch doctor and some guys passed out drunk on the lawn. Juliana steps over them and enters the house]
Ashley: Hiya!
Juliana: [puts stuff down] And how was your seiance?
Ashley: GREAT! I got to meet Bob!
Juliana: Who is bob?
Ashley: I dont know, but the witch doctor told me he was hot and he liked my feet.
Juliana: Your feet?
Ashley: Yeah...I don't get it, but it sounded kinky, so I was all for it!
Juliana: Riiiight....[notices an envelope on the ground] Hey whats this?
Ashley: How should I know? I'm not a Masochist for crying out loud!!
Juliana: You mean Pshycic right?
Ashley: Oh yeah....i think i had too much to drink.
[Juliana opens the note]
Juliana: [squeals]
Ashley: Oink Oink.
Juliana: [looks at Ashley]
Ashley: Ok, it's agreed. I watch too much Mystery Science Theater. Who's it from?
Juliana: Ben and Qui. They just got back from Dantooine. They have a week's rest and they're going to pick us up at the usual spot.
Ashley: [thoughtfully] That sounds kinkyyy.....
Juliana: Hey ashley?
Ashley: Yeah?
Juliana: Go pack while I get rid of the witch doctor.
[later, Juliana is packing in the front room with a checkboard]
Juliana: My shorts, check. Ashley's shorts in case she forgets hers...check. My toothbrush, check. Ashley's toothbrush in case she forgets hers, check!
Ashley: Banannas, Chocolate, Ropes, handcuffs. My Lengerie, check! Juliana's Lengerie in case she forgets hers...check!
Juliana: You ready?
Ashley: NOOOOO! WAIT! [runs upstairs and comes back down with videos and a videorecorder]
Juliana: What's that for?
Ashley: Well, these are videos of two hot nekkid guys doin' it. See? Lord of the Fags and The Phantom Dildo.
Juliana: And the video recorder?....
Ashley: I'm making my own! BWAHAHAHAHA!
Juliana: riiight....
[in a park later on, it's very dark and Juliana & Ashley sit on their suitcases. Juliana, who is high on sugar, tries to climb a tree]
Juliana: HEE HEE!! LOOK AT MEEE!!! LOOK AT MEEE!!! IM CLIMBING A TREEEEE!
Ashley: You fruit! You're gonna hurt yourself! [applies more make-up]
Juliana: Hey Ashley?
Ashley: Yeah?
Juliana: Doesn it seem like....we're in a fic?
[they think for a minute]
Ashley and Juliana: Naahahhhhhhh....
[a ship comes down from the sky and lands in the park, hidden by trees]
Ashley: [squeals]
Juliana: Oink Oink
[Qui-Gon, aka "Sex God" comes down the ramp followed closely by Obi-"The dominator" Wan Kenobi.]
Ashley: AAAHHHH!!! [runs into Qui-Gon's arms and procedes to make out with him] Ohh..mmmm.....
Obi: Juliana?
Juliana: I'm stuck!
Obi: What? Speak up!
Juliana: I'm stuck in a tree!
Obi: You're sucking on a bee?
Juliana: NO! I'm stuck in a TREE!!
Obi: You're thirsty and you want some Tea?!
Juliana: NOOO!!!
Ashley: She clearly said "Obi, my dearst love, I would like nothing more than to be your sex slave eternally"
Qui: NO! She said she wants to sleep with Yoda!
Obi: EEwww.....
Ashley: [wistfully] kinkkyy.....
Obi: But Juliana, I'm much better than him!
Ashley: How do you know?
Obi: I'm going to ignore that
Juliana: IM STUCK IN A TREEEE!!!!
Qui: She wants to sleep with ME!!
Ashley: Save me from this Bee??
Obi: Save me from this Gee?
Ashley: OOhhhh....A Gee! A G-string! [smug] She's caught in a G-string you guys.
Obi & Qui: OOOOhhhhhh...i get it now.
Obi: But how do we get her out?
Ashley: The only way I can get out of my G-strings is by having a really hot guys rip them off.
Obi: hmm.....
[silence]
Qui: I know! I'll call Mace Windu!
Ashley: [hits him] You fruit! [sighs] i can see this is going to take a REAL man...[pulls a pic of Rob Roy out....(aka...liam neeson....aka...qui-gon....)
Ashley: Uhm...how did the witch doctor put this...Oh yes! Hocus pocus. Jiggly Wiggly....Stuffed SOCK! Oh how I want this man's COCK!
[rob roy comes to life and rushes into the forest]
Juliana: AAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!
did Juliana faint of fright, or of pleasure? Is Ashley hiding a terrible Secret? Is Obi-Wan actually straight?
Find out on our next episode of 'As the Galaxy turns'
**no cute animals were harmed in the making of this fic....
I cant speak for the ugly ones.....
It was an accident, i swear!!
[a small 2 story house sitting on a hill]
[inside, Ashley is making french toast, humming to herself]
Ashley: Lahahhh Lahhhh LAAAAHHHH!!!
[a bloodcurling scream is heard, and then Juliana comes bounding down the stairs]
Juliana: Ashley! Why is there a man in my bed?!
Ashley: We-eee-eelll, once i was done with him I tried to get some sleep but he kept stealing the covers, so i put him in your bed.
Juliana: Ashley, i thought you promised not to do that anymore!
Ashley: [shrugs] hey, you havent been in the bathroom yet have you?
Juliana: no, why? [steals some toast and starts to head upstairs]
Ashley: Wake up Sexy Blonde and tell him he needs to get to work soon.
Juliana: [rolls eyes]
[hours later, Ashley is still trying to convince Sexy Blonde to leave]
Ashley: [giggles] no, come on....[recieves kisses] no, you really have to gooooo....
[juliana is at work sitting in her office staring at the blinker cursor. She blinks in tune with it. the phone rings]
Juliana: hello?
Ashley: Why hello there! Heeeey, you dont mine if I already invited over an old witch doctor for a seiance do you?
Juliana: Ashley, how on earth did you find a witch doctor?
Ashley: Well, funny story actually, Sexy Blonde's mother escaped from the mental facility again so he had to go and get her, but he didnt have his car, so I drove him and then BAM out of nowhere....
Juliana: You bumped into a witch doctor
Ashley: No, more like nearly ran her over. Sexy Blonde threw her in the trunk. When she woke up she was putting curses on me and sucking her toes. Can i keep her?!
Juliana: [sighs] Fine, but you owe me one!
Ashley: Brown or Blue?
Juliana: What?
Ashley: Do you want a man with brown eyes or blue eyes?
Juliana: How on earth did you come up with that?
Ashley: You said i owed you one, so I wanted to know your preferences before I went out to the bar and brought home some sex for you.
Juliana: Say goodbye Ashley
Ashley: Goodbye ashley!
******
[Juliana comes home, the witch doctor and some guys passed out drunk on the lawn. Juliana steps over them and enters the house]
Ashley: Hiya!
Juliana: [puts stuff down] And how was your seiance?
Ashley: GREAT! I got to meet Bob!
Juliana: Who is bob?
Ashley: I dont know, but the witch doctor told me he was hot and he liked my feet.
Juliana: Your feet?
Ashley: Yeah...I don't get it, but it sounded kinky, so I was all for it!
Juliana: Riiiight....[notices an envelope on the ground] Hey whats this?
Ashley: How should I know? I'm not a Masochist for crying out loud!!
Juliana: You mean Pshycic right?
Ashley: Oh yeah....i think i had too much to drink.
[Juliana opens the note]
Juliana: [squeals]
Ashley: Oink Oink.
Juliana: [looks at Ashley]
Ashley: Ok, it's agreed. I watch too much Mystery Science Theater. Who's it from?
Juliana: Ben and Qui. They just got back from Dantooine. They have a week's rest and they're going to pick us up at the usual spot.
Ashley: [thoughtfully] That sounds kinkyyy.....
Juliana: Hey ashley?
Ashley: Yeah?
Juliana: Go pack while I get rid of the witch doctor.
[later, Juliana is packing in the front room with a checkboard]
Juliana: My shorts, check. Ashley's shorts in case she forgets hers...check. My toothbrush, check. Ashley's toothbrush in case she forgets hers, check!
Ashley: Banannas, Chocolate, Ropes, handcuffs. My Lengerie, check! Juliana's Lengerie in case she forgets hers...check!
Juliana: You ready?
Ashley: NOOOOO! WAIT! [runs upstairs and comes back down with videos and a videorecorder]
Juliana: What's that for?
Ashley: Well, these are videos of two hot nekkid guys doin' it. See? Lord of the Fags and The Phantom Dildo.
Juliana: And the video recorder?....
Ashley: I'm making my own! BWAHAHAHAHA!
Juliana: riiight....
[in a park later on, it's very dark and Juliana & Ashley sit on their suitcases. Juliana, who is high on sugar, tries to climb a tree]
Juliana: HEE HEE!! LOOK AT MEEE!!! LOOK AT MEEE!!! IM CLIMBING A TREEEEE!
Ashley: You fruit! You're gonna hurt yourself! [applies more make-up]
Juliana: Hey Ashley?
Ashley: Yeah?
Juliana: Doesn it seem like....we're in a fic?
[they think for a minute]
Ashley and Juliana: Naahahhhhhhh....
[a ship comes down from the sky and lands in the park, hidden by trees]
Ashley: [squeals]
Juliana: Oink Oink
[Qui-Gon, aka "Sex God" comes down the ramp followed closely by Obi-"The dominator" Wan Kenobi.]
Ashley: AAAHHHH!!! [runs into Qui-Gon's arms and procedes to make out with him] Ohh..mmmm.....
Obi: Juliana?
Juliana: I'm stuck!
Obi: What? Speak up!
Juliana: I'm stuck in a tree!
Obi: You're sucking on a bee?
Juliana: NO! I'm stuck in a TREE!!
Obi: You're thirsty and you want some Tea?!
Juliana: NOOO!!!
Ashley: She clearly said "Obi, my dearst love, I would like nothing more than to be your sex slave eternally"
Qui: NO! She said she wants to sleep with Yoda!
Obi: EEwww.....
Ashley: [wistfully] kinkkyy.....
Obi: But Juliana, I'm much better than him!
Ashley: How do you know?
Obi: I'm going to ignore that
Juliana: IM STUCK IN A TREEEE!!!!
Qui: She wants to sleep with ME!!
Ashley: Save me from this Bee??
Obi: Save me from this Gee?
Ashley: OOhhhh....A Gee! A G-string! [smug] She's caught in a G-string you guys.
Obi & Qui: OOOOhhhhhh...i get it now.
Obi: But how do we get her out?
Ashley: The only way I can get out of my G-strings is by having a really hot guys rip them off.
Obi: hmm.....
[silence]
Qui: I know! I'll call Mace Windu!
Ashley: [hits him] You fruit! [sighs] i can see this is going to take a REAL man...[pulls a pic of Rob Roy out....(aka...liam neeson....aka...qui-gon....)
Ashley: Uhm...how did the witch doctor put this...Oh yes! Hocus pocus. Jiggly Wiggly....Stuffed SOCK! Oh how I want this man's COCK!
[rob roy comes to life and rushes into the forest]
Juliana: AAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!
did Juliana faint of fright, or of pleasure? Is Ashley hiding a terrible Secret? Is Obi-Wan actually straight?
Find out on our next episode of 'As the Galaxy turns'
**no cute animals were harmed in the making of this fic....
I cant speak for the ugly ones.....
It was an accident, i swear!!