Well, as for the previous chapter… I cut the scene with Draco out. I won't dare to ask you to reread the chapter, but just read this chapter like nothing of the sort happened =) So… Snape rushes off after Poppy told him about his illness, and Hermione leaves too. That's where I continued.

'Just one more minute' never is enough

I wanted to go to the dungeons, but realised I couldn't convince him anyway. Confused, I went back to the Gryffindor Common Room. Harry and Ron were playing Wizard Chess, and I saw Neville was studying. I remembered I had to start doing that, too. The exams were only a few more weeks away now.

So I joined Neville, grabbed "The History of Magic Year VII– The extended version", and started reading. Unfortunately I couldn't concentrate. Why did Severus want to know none of his illness? I put the book away, and looked at Neville. Would he do the same?

Suspiciously, he looked up. "What?"

I bit my lip, wondering if I could ask.

"Neville, if you had a life-threatening disease, with only a very small chance on recovery, would you take the medicines?"

"Of course!" he answered immediately.

Yes, of course. Everybody with a logical mind would do that. But Severus' mind was much more complicated than anyone else's.

"Okay," I went on. "And what if someone else had the disease, but for some reason doesn't want to take the medicines? What would you do?"

Neville put his book down, and stared at me, trying to think of an answer.

"Gee, I don't know. Why?"

I flushed. "Oh, nothing." I stood up, and walked out of the room again. I already knew what to do. I would tell Professor Dumbledore. He would know how to convince Severus.

*~*~*

I knocked at the door of the office. Now I was here, I suddenly wasn't too sure about it all.

"Yes?" came it from the room.

I didn't know if it was an invitation or a question, so I carefully pushed the door open. Dumbledore was sitting behind his desk, and smiled as soon as he saw me.

"Ah, Miss Granger, please sit down."

I walked into the office, closed the door behind, and then sat down at the chair in front of the desk. Out of nowhere, with a small 'poof', a can appeared in his hand. He hold it up to me.

"Tea?" he asked. I shook my head. With a wave of his wand, the can was turned into a bottle.

"Apple juice then, perhaps?"

I shook my head again. "No, thanks, Professor."

I had actually expected him to come with something else, lemonade, maybe, but he didn't. He put the bottle down on his desk, folded his hands with a smile, and then turned to me.

"Miss Granger, then please tell me what's bringing you here."

I nodded, but not exactly knew how to begin. "Erm, it's about Professor Snape.." I said eventually. Dumbledore didn't look surprised or whatsoever, he just smiled a bit broader.

"What about him?" he asked.

I sighed. "Well, I know it actually is none of my business… But I overheard his and Madame Pomfrey's conversation in the Hospital Wing. She said he was suffering after-pains from the Cruciatus curse. She said… it might as well kill him."

Dumbledore nodded understandingly.

"I found it quite disturbing to hear that the professor refuses to undergo the treatment. It is a very serious disease, after all."

The Headmaster looked me in the eyes, and as he did so, I had the uncomfortable feeling he was not only looking into my eyes. Frightened by my own thought, I looked away.

"I find that very alarming myself too, Miss Granger. Of course I don't want to loose yet another teacher, so I will try to talk to Professor Snape. Thank you very much for telling me. You may go now, if you're sure you don't want some apple juice."

I was a bit stunned, actually. This was it? Not a sermon about minding my own business? Not an interrogation about what I was doing in the Hospital Wing?

I shook my head for the third time, stood up, and left, relieved that I wouldn't have had to explain everything.

*~*~*

There was a knock at the door of Severus' private chambers. He opened it, annoyed by the fact someone was still bothering him at 3 pm. That someone was supposed to be asleep, and Severus himself was supposed to do the same, actually.

It was Dumbledore, dressed in a dark blue nightdress with blue moons flying over it constantly.

"Good midnight, Headmaster," Severus greeted sarcastically.

"Hello, Severus," he smiled. "May I come in?"

Severus thought about saying no, but then nodded. They sat down on the couch.

"So, what are you doing up so late, Albus?" Severus asked, not doing any trouble to offer him a drink or something.

"I was just checking if you were still awake," Albus answered. Severus could barely resist to glare.

"Well, I am, as you see."

There was a silence. Eventually, Dumbledore was the one who spoke.

"How's your head?"

"It's fine." Severus snapped. That guy always seemed to know everything, now didn't he? He narrowed his eyes. "Why?"

Dumbledore took a breath, then blew it out in a sigh. He straightened his back as preparing himself for something.

"When I was young, Severus – a very long time ago, as you might guess – I already loved socks. But of course, as a teenager, I got quite ashamed of that, and told myself not to buy socks anymore. And I didn't. You know what happened? The next winter, I caught a terrible cold."

Severus stared at the old man blankly. He felt frustration well up inside him. "I asked you something, Albus, and all of sudden you start rambling about socks…"

"You don't listen, Severus." Dumbledore said.

"Perhaps I would listen if you were a bit more concrete, Albus." Angrily Severus looked away. He was tired, had things to think about, and now Dumbledore was coming with this Oracle-thing.

"Someone is very worried about you, Severus, and this time, it's not me."

Now that was concrete. It didn't took Severus much time to figure out who that 'someone' was.

"So she heard," he said. "She heard, and she talked."

Dumbledore stood up, and stared in the fire, the only source of light in the room. "Well," he said. "Some can hide their emotions less perfect than others can."

Severus startled as Dumbledore turned around to look at him. His intriguing look sent a shiver down his spine. He snorted. "What's the real reason you're here, Albus? To make comments on my way of handling? Why must you stamp it in my mind?"

Dumbledore looked at Severus pitifully. He took a few steps forward, and put his hand on Severus' shoulder.

"Because, my friend," he whispered. "I don't know why you're paining yourself so much. Because eventually, who's standing in the way? I… or your feeling of guilt?" He gave a squeeze before letting go.

Severus searched Dumbledore's eyes. Wait a minute – This wasn't about his headaches… But before he could ask, Dumbledore had swept out of the room with a friendly, "Goodnight".

Severus stared into the fire, his thoughts spinning in his head.

*~*~*

That night, I made up my mind; I had done everything within my power to help Severus, and now it really was time to focus on other things. The final examinations, for example. I promised myself to start studying tomorrow morning, before breakfast.

I woke up by the sound of my magical alarm, the miniature of a witch that imitated the sounds of magical creatures. I had bought it during our last visit to Hogsmead.

It was not always too convenient though; sometimes she imitated the sound of a flobberworm, and you wouldn't hear anything at all. But now the screeching of an owl filled the dormitory, and I heard my dormmates groan.

"Mione!" Paravati Patil yawned. "Let that beast shut up! It's about 6 in the mo'nin'!"

"Wrong!" I said, stretching out my arms and legs. "It's only 4 in the night!"

All of the girls let out exasperated noises. Not yet being able to open my eyes, I stumbled out of my bed and searched the floor for my robes with my wand in it.

"Can I borrow anyone's wand for a moment?" I asked drowsily, looking up but not seeing anything but darkness. Someone grumbled, and a few seconds later a wand hit my head.

"Thanks, Lavender," I said sarcastically. "You're ever so nice. Lumos."

I blinked a few times hard, and ignored the protest. I put on my robes, grabbed my books together, threw back Lavender's wand, and left the dormitory. As soon as I closed the door, my alarm stopped screeching.

As I made my way to the Library, I suddenly realised that about 4 years ago, I would've been scared to walk into Snape or Peeves at this hour of the night. I grinned. Now, I was Head Girl, and had every right to be up so late (or early), and would be graduating in less than 2 months.

I sighed. Graduating would mean a new world, with more to explore, more to learn and more to go for. But it also meant leaving Hogwarts, my home. Leaving my friends. Leaving Severus.

Angry at myself for letting his name slip into my mind again, I threw open the door of the Library, and sat down in a chair. "Arithmancy first." I whispered to the book, and opened it, ready to study.

In the past 6 years studying had always went very easily. Stamping facts about Harold XXIII in your head, learning as many spells as you can and getting to know the essence of abyssinian shrivelfig in a mix of powdered bicorn horn and frog brains were not things I did because I had to, but because I liked them. 

So when I found myself being unable to concentrate, I got very frustrated. I tried another subject, Care for Magical Beasts, but couldn't even store the habitat of the Horklump into my head.

Angrily I threw the book against the wall, then stared at it. Why wouldn't it work? Even now I wanted to forget everything, I couldn't.

I closed my eyes, and let myself fall back in the chair. I was probably just too tired. How late was it? I looked up to the clock, and it was the first time I actually looked into the library. Naturally I had expected it to be empty, and my heart missed a beat as I noticed it wasn't.

A dark brooding figure was sitting a few tables away from me, and my heart missed another beat as I realised it was Severus Snape who was staring at me.

I hadn't heard him come in, so had he been looking at me since I arrived? I frowned. Why didn't he say anything? But as I didn't know anything to say either, we just stared at each other for a while.

It was weird. For the first time in a few days there was not a single thought flying through my head. Just gazing into his eyes – A wonderful silence, with nothing but emptiness in my mind.

It almost seemed like a few weeks ago, when I wasn't ashamed either of staring at him. Only now, there was a disturbing distance between the two of us.

Then he suddenly stood up, not taking his eyes off me until he turned to leave.

I stared after him, still stunned by that very moment. The emptiness in my mind was slowly fading away, and after a few minutes I stood up, picked up the book, and looked out of the window.

*~*~*

Severus had needed the time to think, and there had been something inside him that had told him the library was the place. The library, where he had first considered what kind of consequences his relationship with Hermione would have.

And so Severus had gone to the library, and had sat there, thinking about what Dumbledore had said.

Dumbledore or his feeling of guilt?  Severus knew Dumbledore hadn't tried to say he actually accepted a teacher-student relationship, but eventually, he was right. There were only a few more weeks before Hermione would no longer be his student. If they could wait.. just wait…

He sighed. A few more weeks. He had decided that it was over between him and Hermione, and although it had been hard, he had, more or less, been able to accept that. So a few more weeks to wait, with the prospect they'd soon be free… That had to do.

So what was keeping him from telling her that? Telling her that he was so sorry about everything he had said, everything he had done.

His feeling of guilt, maybe?

And then she had come in, her face serious and determined, and she had sat down, not noticing him. He had watched her, not announcing himself. She was such an intelligent creature, seeming to understand everything, and with a mind so simple, yet so complicated. She had seen so little of the world, and he had been in the darkest places, had done the darkest things… Things she would forgive him easily, simply because she loved him. But she hadn't been there. She hadn't felt the pain, the fear, and the despair he had felt. The anger and the hatred.

When she had suddenly exploded, and thrown the book away, Severus knew it was because of him. Then she had seem him, and she seemed to have forgotten the anger. He wished he could do the same with the feeling of guilt, but when he looked her in the eyes, it only became stronger.

Loving her would be wrong. He couldn't do that to her. He stood up, and left the library. He felt a head ache coming up.