Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter
*******
Sorry it took so long, I meant to get this up a long time ago, but then I started to think of a new fiction that I have not wrote yet. You thought I abandoned this, did you? Well I didn't. What? Rowling got a block thing during Chamber of Secrets when the Philosopher's Stone became such a hit in America.
******
Dumbledore: Now, Percy is still in the lead with 9800, Sirius with 4500, and Trelawney as the caboose with 1200. Our categories for today are Rowling's Books, Muggle Literature, and Teacher's Lives. Did you know how long it took me to find this information in interviews with Rowling? It is almost all true Sybill, once again we start with you.
Trelawney: I'll take Rowling's Books for 100, please.
Percy: Who is Rowling?
Trelawney: She writes about us and gets our future all correct; I checked.
Sirius: So that was how you made that prediction in the end of Harry's third year!
Dumbledore: This book, the first of Rowling's novels, took 5 years to write.
Trelawney: What was Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone?
Dumbledore: Correct.
Trelawney: I'll take Rowling for 200, please.
Dumbledore: Rowling lives in this country.
Percy: Where is England?
Dumbledore: No.
Trelawney: Where is Scotland?
Dumbledore: Correct.
Trelawney: I'll take Rowling's Books for 500.
Dumbledore: This religion is trying to discourage people from reading Harry Potter because they say it encourages Wicca.
Sirius: Wicca, what's Wicca?
Percy: I heard Dad talking about it; a bunch of those people claimed to join our Ministry of Magic 'Coven' and they spelled Magic with a K.
Sirius: Oh, that thing. When Moony, Prongs and I went on our prowls, we saw those people lighting candles near the Whomping Willow. They called us Familiars, and I chased them away by biting one on the butt.
Trelawney: What is Christianity?
Dumbledore: Correct!
Trelawney: I'll take Rowling for 600, please.
Dumbledore: Rowling says that a fan will die in book 5. A Harry Potter fan, that is.
Percy: Might be Sirius.
Sirius: I'm not a fan, must be Colin or Ginny.
Percy: Are you saying you think my little sister is going to die?
Sirius: No, not that!
Percy: You better not. I think that it might also be Dennis or Malfoy.
Malfoy: Me? A fan of Harry Potter? Not on your life!
Sirius: That reminds me, once I turned animagus and snuck into your common room. I saw your Harry Potter poster.
Malfoy: That is none of your business.
Dumbledore: Will you get to the point?
Sirius: Oh, er… What was the question again?
Dumbledore: Forget it, I'll skip that. Question 700. This Harry Potter character, Rowling claims, was like one of her teachers when she was in school.
Sirius: Who was Snape?
Dumbledore: Correct.
Sirius: I'll take Rowling's Books for 900.
Dumbledore: Lily and James Potter was this age when Harry was born.
Sirius: What is 21.
Percy and Trelawney: What?
Sirius: Well, Lily and James are the same age as I am. Take 15, subtract it from 36, and you get 21.
Percy: 21 seems a bit young.
Sirius: So what? Their marriage was successful. It's not like they got divorced.
Trelawney: That's because they DIED.
Sirius: Better than getting divorced.
Percy: Are you even sad your best friends died?
Sirius: I am furious at Peter. I can't believe he would betray the two of them. They should have made Arabella the Secret Keeper.
Trelawney: She was. She is Harry's sec-oops.
Percy: Now you ruined my life by telling me the future!
Trelawney: You're in the Ministry of Magic and you don't know?
Percy: Crouch doesn't trust me.
Dumbledore: ahem
Sirius: Sorry. I will take Rowling's Books for 1100 please.
Dumbledore: This character is probably the largest controversy for the movie. Where can you find an Asian actress in England when most of the people there can not speak English, and if they do than they are either the wrong age, or can not act. The solution: Have try-outs in LA.
Trelawney: Who is Cho Chang? (If there already is an actress playing this, which I don't think there is, prove me wrong by telling me her name. I know that they haven't even considered doing Anything for the third movie yet)
Dumbledore: Correct.
Sirius: I'll take Muggle Literature for 200, please.
Dumbledore: This book was written during the Civil War by Harriet Beecher Stowe, an abolitionist, meaning she disapproved slavery. (this show is educational, too)
Sirius: What is Uncle Tom's Cabin?
Dumbledore: Correct.
Sirius: I'll take Muggle Literature for 400.
Dumbledore: This book, written by Frank L. Baum, was put into a movie. This book was made in a collection. Other books by the same author include: The Emerald City of Oz, Ozma of Oz, and the Tin Woodman of Oz.
Percy: What is the Wonderful Wizard of Oz?
Dumbledore: Correct.
Percy: I'll take Muggle Literature for 600.
Dumbledore: This novel won a Newberry Honor award, which is only given out once a year to a children's book. This author, Louis Sachar, was also the author of Wayside School is Falling Down.
Trelawney: What is Holes?
Dumbledore: Correct.
Trelawney: I'll take Muggle Literature for 800.
Dumbledore: This book was also made into a movie. The author, Dick King- Smith (Richard King-Smith) also wrote The Terrible Trio and Sophie turns six. He writes only about animals.
Sirius: What is Babe, the gallant pig?
Dumbledore: Correct.
Sirius: I'll take Muggle Literature for 1000.
Dumbledore: And the answer is: Daily Double!
Audience: clap clap
Dumbledore: I am so thankful this audience is better than the ones on the Jerry Springer show. After all, they are all the Hogwarts staff and family and friends to the contestants. My 138 year old wife is there. Oh, back to the question.
Sirius: I'll wager 1500.
Dumbledore: All right. This book was written by Elizabeth George Speare squeal and it has also won an award. The story takes place in Salem, where a young girl, Kit Tyler comes to her aunt and uncle's to live after her grandfather dies.
Sirius: What is The Witch of Blackbird Pond?
Dumbledore: Correct! That brings you up to 7500!
Sirius: I'll take Muggle Literature for 1200, please.
Dumbledore: In this book, which has once again been made into a movie, was written by Roald Dahl. It is very popular. Other famous books by this author includes Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, The BFG, and James and the Giant Peach.
Trelawney: What is Matilda?
Dumbledore: Correct!
Trelawney: I'll take Teacher's Lives for 200, please.
Dumbledore: This Hogwarts staff member helped Remus Lupin to the Whomping Willow whenever he transformed.
Trelawney: Who is Madame Pomfrey?
Dumbledore: Correct!
Trelawney: I'll take Teacher's Lives for 500.
Dumbledore: Professor McGonagall is the oldest at the school besides me. How she keeps her hair black is a wonder. This is her age.
Trelawney: What is 72? (By the way, this is from Rowling's interview, so it is correct, ha! So was the one about Lily and James' age)
Dumbledore: Correct.
Sirius: How does she keep her hair black? I can give the remedy to Remus, he is half her age exactly, and his hair is already gray.
Percy: Maybe it is from stress.
Sirius: Yeah, and McGonagall has no stress. That's right. Her hair should have turned pure white by the time my gang left Hogwarts.
Trelawney: I'll take Teacher's Lives for 800.
Dumbledore: These are the only Hogwarts teachers that are married.
Trelawney: Who are Madame Pomfrey, Professor Sprout, Professor Sinistra, Professor Vector, and Professor Flitwick?
Sirius: Ha, McGonagall is not married.
Percy: She's widowed.
Sirius: Oh. How come most of the women are married?
Percy: Well, most of the teachers are women. I'm trying to imagine Professor Flitwick's wife. 2 feet-
Sirius: 6 inches-
Percy: And one millimeter.
Percy and Sirius: Haha!
Flitwick: That's 40 points from Gryffindor!
Sirius: I wonder if any of the teachers are married to eachother.
Percy: If they were, they would have the same last name.
Sirius: Oh yes, of course. Which teacher do you think has bad taste?
Percy: McGonagall, I saw her eating haggis.
Sirius: Ewwwwww. Who would want to eat a sheep's intestine-
Percy: Boiled with oatmeal-
Sirius: And drained-
Percy: Then stuffed back into the sheep's stomach-
Sirius: and tied at the ends?
Dumbledore: It is a common thing to eat in Scotland, such as fish and chips.
Sirius: I had been hiding in America for so long I forgot what fish and chips are.
Percy: Chips are what Americans call 'French Fries'
Sirius: I never knew chips were French.
Percy: They aren't. Neither are French Toast, French Kissing, or French Braid.
Sirius: That's like Double Dutch and Chinese Jump Rope!
bell rings
Dumbledore: Thank you for wasting so much time, we could have finished the questions. Well, now Percy has 10,000, Sirius follows with 7,500, and Trelawney with 5600. Now our next round will be the final question. You have thirty seconds to do this after the commercial.
*******
Sorry it took so long, I meant to get this up a long time ago, but then I started to think of a new fiction that I have not wrote yet. You thought I abandoned this, did you? Well I didn't. What? Rowling got a block thing during Chamber of Secrets when the Philosopher's Stone became such a hit in America.
******
Dumbledore: Now, Percy is still in the lead with 9800, Sirius with 4500, and Trelawney as the caboose with 1200. Our categories for today are Rowling's Books, Muggle Literature, and Teacher's Lives. Did you know how long it took me to find this information in interviews with Rowling? It is almost all true Sybill, once again we start with you.
Trelawney: I'll take Rowling's Books for 100, please.
Percy: Who is Rowling?
Trelawney: She writes about us and gets our future all correct; I checked.
Sirius: So that was how you made that prediction in the end of Harry's third year!
Dumbledore: This book, the first of Rowling's novels, took 5 years to write.
Trelawney: What was Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone?
Dumbledore: Correct.
Trelawney: I'll take Rowling for 200, please.
Dumbledore: Rowling lives in this country.
Percy: Where is England?
Dumbledore: No.
Trelawney: Where is Scotland?
Dumbledore: Correct.
Trelawney: I'll take Rowling's Books for 500.
Dumbledore: This religion is trying to discourage people from reading Harry Potter because they say it encourages Wicca.
Sirius: Wicca, what's Wicca?
Percy: I heard Dad talking about it; a bunch of those people claimed to join our Ministry of Magic 'Coven' and they spelled Magic with a K.
Sirius: Oh, that thing. When Moony, Prongs and I went on our prowls, we saw those people lighting candles near the Whomping Willow. They called us Familiars, and I chased them away by biting one on the butt.
Trelawney: What is Christianity?
Dumbledore: Correct!
Trelawney: I'll take Rowling for 600, please.
Dumbledore: Rowling says that a fan will die in book 5. A Harry Potter fan, that is.
Percy: Might be Sirius.
Sirius: I'm not a fan, must be Colin or Ginny.
Percy: Are you saying you think my little sister is going to die?
Sirius: No, not that!
Percy: You better not. I think that it might also be Dennis or Malfoy.
Malfoy: Me? A fan of Harry Potter? Not on your life!
Sirius: That reminds me, once I turned animagus and snuck into your common room. I saw your Harry Potter poster.
Malfoy: That is none of your business.
Dumbledore: Will you get to the point?
Sirius: Oh, er… What was the question again?
Dumbledore: Forget it, I'll skip that. Question 700. This Harry Potter character, Rowling claims, was like one of her teachers when she was in school.
Sirius: Who was Snape?
Dumbledore: Correct.
Sirius: I'll take Rowling's Books for 900.
Dumbledore: Lily and James Potter was this age when Harry was born.
Sirius: What is 21.
Percy and Trelawney: What?
Sirius: Well, Lily and James are the same age as I am. Take 15, subtract it from 36, and you get 21.
Percy: 21 seems a bit young.
Sirius: So what? Their marriage was successful. It's not like they got divorced.
Trelawney: That's because they DIED.
Sirius: Better than getting divorced.
Percy: Are you even sad your best friends died?
Sirius: I am furious at Peter. I can't believe he would betray the two of them. They should have made Arabella the Secret Keeper.
Trelawney: She was. She is Harry's sec-oops.
Percy: Now you ruined my life by telling me the future!
Trelawney: You're in the Ministry of Magic and you don't know?
Percy: Crouch doesn't trust me.
Dumbledore: ahem
Sirius: Sorry. I will take Rowling's Books for 1100 please.
Dumbledore: This character is probably the largest controversy for the movie. Where can you find an Asian actress in England when most of the people there can not speak English, and if they do than they are either the wrong age, or can not act. The solution: Have try-outs in LA.
Trelawney: Who is Cho Chang? (If there already is an actress playing this, which I don't think there is, prove me wrong by telling me her name. I know that they haven't even considered doing Anything for the third movie yet)
Dumbledore: Correct.
Sirius: I'll take Muggle Literature for 200, please.
Dumbledore: This book was written during the Civil War by Harriet Beecher Stowe, an abolitionist, meaning she disapproved slavery. (this show is educational, too)
Sirius: What is Uncle Tom's Cabin?
Dumbledore: Correct.
Sirius: I'll take Muggle Literature for 400.
Dumbledore: This book, written by Frank L. Baum, was put into a movie. This book was made in a collection. Other books by the same author include: The Emerald City of Oz, Ozma of Oz, and the Tin Woodman of Oz.
Percy: What is the Wonderful Wizard of Oz?
Dumbledore: Correct.
Percy: I'll take Muggle Literature for 600.
Dumbledore: This novel won a Newberry Honor award, which is only given out once a year to a children's book. This author, Louis Sachar, was also the author of Wayside School is Falling Down.
Trelawney: What is Holes?
Dumbledore: Correct.
Trelawney: I'll take Muggle Literature for 800.
Dumbledore: This book was also made into a movie. The author, Dick King- Smith (Richard King-Smith) also wrote The Terrible Trio and Sophie turns six. He writes only about animals.
Sirius: What is Babe, the gallant pig?
Dumbledore: Correct.
Sirius: I'll take Muggle Literature for 1000.
Dumbledore: And the answer is: Daily Double!
Audience: clap clap
Dumbledore: I am so thankful this audience is better than the ones on the Jerry Springer show. After all, they are all the Hogwarts staff and family and friends to the contestants. My 138 year old wife is there. Oh, back to the question.
Sirius: I'll wager 1500.
Dumbledore: All right. This book was written by Elizabeth George Speare squeal and it has also won an award. The story takes place in Salem, where a young girl, Kit Tyler comes to her aunt and uncle's to live after her grandfather dies.
Sirius: What is The Witch of Blackbird Pond?
Dumbledore: Correct! That brings you up to 7500!
Sirius: I'll take Muggle Literature for 1200, please.
Dumbledore: In this book, which has once again been made into a movie, was written by Roald Dahl. It is very popular. Other famous books by this author includes Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, The BFG, and James and the Giant Peach.
Trelawney: What is Matilda?
Dumbledore: Correct!
Trelawney: I'll take Teacher's Lives for 200, please.
Dumbledore: This Hogwarts staff member helped Remus Lupin to the Whomping Willow whenever he transformed.
Trelawney: Who is Madame Pomfrey?
Dumbledore: Correct!
Trelawney: I'll take Teacher's Lives for 500.
Dumbledore: Professor McGonagall is the oldest at the school besides me. How she keeps her hair black is a wonder. This is her age.
Trelawney: What is 72? (By the way, this is from Rowling's interview, so it is correct, ha! So was the one about Lily and James' age)
Dumbledore: Correct.
Sirius: How does she keep her hair black? I can give the remedy to Remus, he is half her age exactly, and his hair is already gray.
Percy: Maybe it is from stress.
Sirius: Yeah, and McGonagall has no stress. That's right. Her hair should have turned pure white by the time my gang left Hogwarts.
Trelawney: I'll take Teacher's Lives for 800.
Dumbledore: These are the only Hogwarts teachers that are married.
Trelawney: Who are Madame Pomfrey, Professor Sprout, Professor Sinistra, Professor Vector, and Professor Flitwick?
Sirius: Ha, McGonagall is not married.
Percy: She's widowed.
Sirius: Oh. How come most of the women are married?
Percy: Well, most of the teachers are women. I'm trying to imagine Professor Flitwick's wife. 2 feet-
Sirius: 6 inches-
Percy: And one millimeter.
Percy and Sirius: Haha!
Flitwick: That's 40 points from Gryffindor!
Sirius: I wonder if any of the teachers are married to eachother.
Percy: If they were, they would have the same last name.
Sirius: Oh yes, of course. Which teacher do you think has bad taste?
Percy: McGonagall, I saw her eating haggis.
Sirius: Ewwwwww. Who would want to eat a sheep's intestine-
Percy: Boiled with oatmeal-
Sirius: And drained-
Percy: Then stuffed back into the sheep's stomach-
Sirius: and tied at the ends?
Dumbledore: It is a common thing to eat in Scotland, such as fish and chips.
Sirius: I had been hiding in America for so long I forgot what fish and chips are.
Percy: Chips are what Americans call 'French Fries'
Sirius: I never knew chips were French.
Percy: They aren't. Neither are French Toast, French Kissing, or French Braid.
Sirius: That's like Double Dutch and Chinese Jump Rope!
bell rings
Dumbledore: Thank you for wasting so much time, we could have finished the questions. Well, now Percy has 10,000, Sirius follows with 7,500, and Trelawney with 5600. Now our next round will be the final question. You have thirty seconds to do this after the commercial.