Disclaimer: I have no friends. Friends inspire you to create new ideas.
Therefore I am not JK Rowling and therefore I did not create Harry Potter.
J/K, I have some friends, but I still do not own Harry Potter. Now, you are
thinking: Who can write such a long disclaimer? A person who did not create
Harry Potter, of course (
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*Author's fun note: I am so sorry it took so long to post. My thousands (all right, 20) adoring fans must feel very upset I did not post for so long. I had writer's block, and I finished game 2 so I didn't expect to go on until my mom made me ( because her friend's son read it and loved it too much
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Did I mention I have 3 whole people on my favorite author's list ? (
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Dumbledore: Well, we come back to Jeopardy. Jeopardy music plays and our guests are Lucius Malfoy, Amos Diggory, and our returning champion Sirius Black!
Mr. Malfoy: Good evening, Dumbledore.
Dumbledore: Lucius, I understand that you and I er- haven't got along too well. You did almost get me fired 3 years ago.
Mr. Malfoy: Forgive and forget is my motto.
Dumbledore: How do you feel about the rumor Harry Potter spread that you work for Voldemort's inner circle and are a Death Eater?
Mr. Malfoy: Why, that is rubbish, of course.
Dumbledore: Right. Our next guest is Amos Diggory. Amos, why are you on our show today?
Mr. Diggory: Well, I wasn't planning to, but we are now broke. We wouldn't have been if Cedric won the Triwizard Tournament and got the 1000 galleons, but- he died. sob
Dumbledore: It's all right, Amos.
Mr. Diggory: No it's not! bawls into sleeve
Dumbledore: Well, and we have our returning favorite champion/godfather/fugitive, Sirius Black!
Sirius: bows
Dumbledore: How does it feel like getting respect?
Sirius: Bad. Fudge watches Jeopardy, and he had the entire Ministry of Magic go and attempt to kill me right when I got off the set. I lost all the money I won, and he confiscated it as "evidence of my treachery"
Audience: Awwww.
Sirius: But I am back and trying to earn money again!
Audience: cheer
Dumbledore: Well, our categories for today are Unscramble This, Where in the World is Karkaroff Continued, and The American Civil War (I am obsessed with it) Sirius, you start.
Sirius: I'll take Civil War for 100, please.
Dumbledore: This man lead the South for 'states rights' otherwise known as slavery. Though this man opposed slavery himself, he fought for the South because his hometown was in Virginia.
Mr. Malfoy: Who is General Robert E. Lee?
Dumbledore: Correct.
Mr. Malfoy: I'll take Civil War for 300, please.
Dumbledore: The fiercest battle of the Civil War, Union (North) Victory.
Mr. Malfoy: What is the Battle of Antietam?
Dumbledore: Correct!
Mr. Malfoy: I'll take Civil War for 400, please
Dumbledore: This one of Neville Longbottom's ancestors accidentally shot his own Confederate General. The result was the loss of Lee's best general. After Neville Longbottom sr. apologized over and over again, it was all vain because this general then suffered from ammonia and died 8 days later.
Sirius: Who is Thomas 'Stonewall' Jackson?
Dumbledore: Correct.
Sirius: I'll take Civil War for 600.
Dumbledore: The battle of the Civil War ended here.
Sirius: What is the Appromatox Courthouse?
Dumbledore: Correct. Amos, I realize you haven't answered anything yet.
Mr. Diggory: The deaths. Reminds me of Ced. bursts into tears
Mr. Malfoy: Ced? He calls his son Ced?
Sirius: Book 4, chapter 5.
Everyone: stare
Sirius: What? I read that Muggle reporter Rowling's stories. I think she stalks Harry. I'll take Civil War for 700, please.
Dumbledore: The Monitor and the Merrimac.
Sirius: What are ironclad ships?
Dumbledore: Correct.
Sirius: I'll take Civil War for 1000.
Dumbledore: Begins 'Four score and seven years ago, our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation, conceived in liberty and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal" (In our class, we played Jeopardy. I got EVERYTHING right about the Gettysburg Address. 272 words, takes 2-3 minutes to recite, 4 months and a half after the battle, Lincoln makes 'a few appropriate remarks,' everyone thought I was a robot, etc)
Mr. Malfoy: What is Lincoln's Gettysburg Address?
Dumbledore: Correct.
Mr. Malfoy: I'll take Civil War for 1200, if you please.
Dumbledore: This was issued before the 13th Amendment, freeing slaves from the South where Union soldiers marched only.
Mr. Diggory: What is the Emancipation Proclamation?
Dumbledore: Correct.
Mr. Diggory: I'll take Civil War for 1400, please.
Dumbledore: General Lee's entire confederate army surrendered to this general, only under the promise his soldiers will be fed and taken care of, and not killed. This General later became the 18th U.S. president.
Sirius: Who is General Ulysses S. Grant?
Dumbledore: Correct.
Sirius: I'll take Civil War for 1500, please.
Dumbledore: This Southern sympathizer shot President Lincoln only a few days after the Civil War ended, while Lincoln was still president. Andrew Johnson immediately got sworn into office as the 17th president.
Amos Diggory: sob Abraham Lincoln was murdered, the way You-Know-Who murdered Ced. bangs fist on microphone and accidentally presses buzzer oops, er, who was John Wilkes Booth?
Dumbledore: Correct!
Amos: I'll take Unscramble This for 200.
Dumbledore: drceCi gigDoyr
Amos: Who was Cedric Diggory. cries even harder
Dumbledore: Correct.
Amos: I'll take sob U-hic I'll take sniffle
Dumbledore: Come on now, we don't have all day!
Sirius: I think he means take Unscramble This for 400.
Dumbledore: zdriWa onaTmrunet
Mr. Malfoy: What is the Triwizard Tournament?
Dumbledore: Correct.
Mr. Malfoy: I'll take Unscramble This for 600.
Dumbledore: And the answer is- Daily Double!
Audience: clap clap
Mr. Malfoy: 1000, please.
Dumbledore: All right, hCo hgCna
Mr. Malfoy: Hoc Gnach?
Dumbledore: Incorrect. The answer was Cho Chang, Harry's crush.
Mr. Diggory: That was Ced's girlfriend. cries into microphone with sound echoing off the walls
Mr. Malfoy: I'll make a mental note to tell my son Draco, so he shall tease Harry about that. I'll take Unscramble this for 800.
Dumbledore: skliBasi
Sirius: What is Basilisk?
Dumbledore: Correct.
Sirius: I'll take Unscramble this for 1000, please.
Dumbledore: xeaBabnots
Mr. Diggory: What is Beaxbatons sniff?
Dumbledore: Correct.
Mr. Diggory: I'll take Karkaroff Continued for 200.
Dumbledore: After narrowly escaping the Death Eaters when I last told his location, Karkaroff went on the run again to this place. This country borders the U.S. They are famous for their spicy foods and sweets.
Mr. Diggory: Where is Mexico?
Dumbledore: Correct.
Mr. Diggory: I'll take Karkaroff Continued for 300. Oh, by the way, Dumbledore, I watched your last Jeopardy round. Peter Pan did not come from the Netherlands, he came from Never Never Land.
Dumbledore: grumbles Well, this country is famous for a food every red- blooded American child loves-pizza! While your here, check out the Leaning Tower of Pizza!
Sirius: Where is Italy?
Dumbledore: Correct.
Mr. Malfoy: It is the Leaning Tower of Pisa, not Pizza.
Dumbledore: Same thing.
Sirius: I'll take Karkaroff Continued for 600.
Dumbledore: In this country, unlike America, says "chips" instead of "french fries" and "braces" instead of "suspenders."
Mr. Diggory: Where is England?
Dumbledore: Correct.
Mr. Diggory: I'll take Karkaroff Continued for 800.
Dumbledore: After fleeing England because it was obviously where most of the Death Eaters already were, Karkaroff escaped to this country. The capital is Moscow, and many people there have blonde hair. They also have little wooden toys that when you pull each apart, a smaller figure is inside until you get 3 to 10. (Just in case you are wondering, my parents travel round the world. My parents are Chinese, lived in Scotland for 10 years and I was born, and went to Russia, Japan, France, etc.)
Mr. Malfoy: Where is Russia?
Dumbledore: Correct.
Mr. Malfoy: I'll tale Karkaroff Continued for 1100, sir.
Dumbledore: My goodness, you even talk like your son. Well, the question: Christopher Columbus came from this place, and I do not mean the director of the Harry Potter movie!
Sirius: There's a Harry Potter movie?
Mr. Diggory: I don't know. I heard about some Christopher Columbus finding some country by King Ferdinand and Queen Isabella.
Sirius: Oh! Spain!
Dumbledore: No, remember your history lessons, Christopher Columbus did not get an approval from his own country so he went to Spain.
Sirius: Oh. Then he came from Italy?
Mr. Diggory: No, Marco Polo came from Italy.
Dumbledore: Italy is correct!
Mr. Diggory: I thought Marco Polo came from Italy.
Dumbledore: He did.
Mr. Diggory: Christopher Columbus couldn't come from Italy too!
Dumbledore: Why not?
Mr. Diggory: Because-because- oh, I see. Never mind.
Sirius: Smart, Amos.
Mr. Diggory: At least I'm not an escaped convict.
Sirius: I told you. I told everyone: Peter Pettigrew framed me! He is still alive! I didn't kill him!
Mr. Diggory: Any witnesses?
Sirius: Remus, Peter, Voldemort, Harry, Hermione, and Ron.
Mr. Diggory: Right. 3 kids, one werewolf, one dead person, and one evil super villain.
Sirius: Fine. Don't believe me.
Mr. Diggory: I never did.
Sirius: Cedric died! Cedric died! Cedric died!
Mr. Diggory: eyes brimming Please, do not remind me that my strong handsome Hufflepuff Seeker son died! He was loved by almost everyone.
Sirius: imitating Voldemort Kill….the….spare….
Mr. Diggory: points wand at Sirius Fununculus!
Sirius: yells as boils come out of his face
Dumbledore: 50 points from Hufflepuff!
Mr. Diggory: I graduated from Hogwarts 23 years ago.
Dumbledore: Who cares, still 50 points. It isn't like it matters, Hufflepuff always gets last place for the cup. They can't even get within 50 points of Ravenclaw!
Mr. Diggory: Well… Hufflepuffs aren't born smart.
Dumbledore: Of course. Have you ever read books before? They are almost always the same: Two boys, one girl, and one outcast. In the case of Harry Potter, it is Neville Longbottom. Always the same thing. My best example would be Digimon: 2 boys, one athletic girl, one sweet one. Same case as Founding Four: Godric was the hero, Salazar was the rude one, Rowena was the athletic and smart one, and Hufflepuff was the sweet one. Try Enchanted Forest Chronicles and such, they are always the same thing. Try The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe. Perfect example. Ever read Louis Sachar's The Boy Who Lost His Face? Well, David is the Hero, Larry is the rude sidekick, Maureen is the tom boy, and Tori is the sweet outcast. Back to Enchanted Forest Chronicles: You see, Morwen was the sort of the sweet one, Cimorene was athletic, Mendenbar's the hero and-
Sirius: We get it.
Mr. Diggory: So you are basically saying that Hufflepuff's the outcast?
Dumbledore: Yes. Ever met Ernie MacMillan?
Mr. Diggory: This is Jeopardy! This is not Live With Regis, so stop!
Dumbledore: All right, all right. I'm cool.
bell rings
Dumbledore: All right. Now Amos Diggory is in the lead with 57 points, followed by Sirius Black with 53. Tagging as a caboose is Lucius Malfoy with 16 points.
Mr. Malfoy: I'm calling my lawyer!
Dumbledore: There is no way you can sue me, you got that fair and square.
Mr. Malfoy: You're a racist!
Dumbledore: We're all from England. How can I be a racist?
Mr. Malfoy: You don't like blonde hair and blue eyes!
Dumbledore: When I was young, I HAD blonde hair and blue eyes.
Mr. Malfoy: Well- well, (shuts himself up)
Dumbledore: We'll be right back on Jeopardy!
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Like before, please chose the categories, please (
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*Author's fun note: I am so sorry it took so long to post. My thousands (all right, 20) adoring fans must feel very upset I did not post for so long. I had writer's block, and I finished game 2 so I didn't expect to go on until my mom made me ( because her friend's son read it and loved it too much
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Did I mention I have 3 whole people on my favorite author's list ? (
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Dumbledore: Well, we come back to Jeopardy. Jeopardy music plays and our guests are Lucius Malfoy, Amos Diggory, and our returning champion Sirius Black!
Mr. Malfoy: Good evening, Dumbledore.
Dumbledore: Lucius, I understand that you and I er- haven't got along too well. You did almost get me fired 3 years ago.
Mr. Malfoy: Forgive and forget is my motto.
Dumbledore: How do you feel about the rumor Harry Potter spread that you work for Voldemort's inner circle and are a Death Eater?
Mr. Malfoy: Why, that is rubbish, of course.
Dumbledore: Right. Our next guest is Amos Diggory. Amos, why are you on our show today?
Mr. Diggory: Well, I wasn't planning to, but we are now broke. We wouldn't have been if Cedric won the Triwizard Tournament and got the 1000 galleons, but- he died. sob
Dumbledore: It's all right, Amos.
Mr. Diggory: No it's not! bawls into sleeve
Dumbledore: Well, and we have our returning favorite champion/godfather/fugitive, Sirius Black!
Sirius: bows
Dumbledore: How does it feel like getting respect?
Sirius: Bad. Fudge watches Jeopardy, and he had the entire Ministry of Magic go and attempt to kill me right when I got off the set. I lost all the money I won, and he confiscated it as "evidence of my treachery"
Audience: Awwww.
Sirius: But I am back and trying to earn money again!
Audience: cheer
Dumbledore: Well, our categories for today are Unscramble This, Where in the World is Karkaroff Continued, and The American Civil War (I am obsessed with it) Sirius, you start.
Sirius: I'll take Civil War for 100, please.
Dumbledore: This man lead the South for 'states rights' otherwise known as slavery. Though this man opposed slavery himself, he fought for the South because his hometown was in Virginia.
Mr. Malfoy: Who is General Robert E. Lee?
Dumbledore: Correct.
Mr. Malfoy: I'll take Civil War for 300, please.
Dumbledore: The fiercest battle of the Civil War, Union (North) Victory.
Mr. Malfoy: What is the Battle of Antietam?
Dumbledore: Correct!
Mr. Malfoy: I'll take Civil War for 400, please
Dumbledore: This one of Neville Longbottom's ancestors accidentally shot his own Confederate General. The result was the loss of Lee's best general. After Neville Longbottom sr. apologized over and over again, it was all vain because this general then suffered from ammonia and died 8 days later.
Sirius: Who is Thomas 'Stonewall' Jackson?
Dumbledore: Correct.
Sirius: I'll take Civil War for 600.
Dumbledore: The battle of the Civil War ended here.
Sirius: What is the Appromatox Courthouse?
Dumbledore: Correct. Amos, I realize you haven't answered anything yet.
Mr. Diggory: The deaths. Reminds me of Ced. bursts into tears
Mr. Malfoy: Ced? He calls his son Ced?
Sirius: Book 4, chapter 5.
Everyone: stare
Sirius: What? I read that Muggle reporter Rowling's stories. I think she stalks Harry. I'll take Civil War for 700, please.
Dumbledore: The Monitor and the Merrimac.
Sirius: What are ironclad ships?
Dumbledore: Correct.
Sirius: I'll take Civil War for 1000.
Dumbledore: Begins 'Four score and seven years ago, our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation, conceived in liberty and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal" (In our class, we played Jeopardy. I got EVERYTHING right about the Gettysburg Address. 272 words, takes 2-3 minutes to recite, 4 months and a half after the battle, Lincoln makes 'a few appropriate remarks,' everyone thought I was a robot, etc)
Mr. Malfoy: What is Lincoln's Gettysburg Address?
Dumbledore: Correct.
Mr. Malfoy: I'll take Civil War for 1200, if you please.
Dumbledore: This was issued before the 13th Amendment, freeing slaves from the South where Union soldiers marched only.
Mr. Diggory: What is the Emancipation Proclamation?
Dumbledore: Correct.
Mr. Diggory: I'll take Civil War for 1400, please.
Dumbledore: General Lee's entire confederate army surrendered to this general, only under the promise his soldiers will be fed and taken care of, and not killed. This General later became the 18th U.S. president.
Sirius: Who is General Ulysses S. Grant?
Dumbledore: Correct.
Sirius: I'll take Civil War for 1500, please.
Dumbledore: This Southern sympathizer shot President Lincoln only a few days after the Civil War ended, while Lincoln was still president. Andrew Johnson immediately got sworn into office as the 17th president.
Amos Diggory: sob Abraham Lincoln was murdered, the way You-Know-Who murdered Ced. bangs fist on microphone and accidentally presses buzzer oops, er, who was John Wilkes Booth?
Dumbledore: Correct!
Amos: I'll take Unscramble This for 200.
Dumbledore: drceCi gigDoyr
Amos: Who was Cedric Diggory. cries even harder
Dumbledore: Correct.
Amos: I'll take sob U-hic I'll take sniffle
Dumbledore: Come on now, we don't have all day!
Sirius: I think he means take Unscramble This for 400.
Dumbledore: zdriWa onaTmrunet
Mr. Malfoy: What is the Triwizard Tournament?
Dumbledore: Correct.
Mr. Malfoy: I'll take Unscramble This for 600.
Dumbledore: And the answer is- Daily Double!
Audience: clap clap
Mr. Malfoy: 1000, please.
Dumbledore: All right, hCo hgCna
Mr. Malfoy: Hoc Gnach?
Dumbledore: Incorrect. The answer was Cho Chang, Harry's crush.
Mr. Diggory: That was Ced's girlfriend. cries into microphone with sound echoing off the walls
Mr. Malfoy: I'll make a mental note to tell my son Draco, so he shall tease Harry about that. I'll take Unscramble this for 800.
Dumbledore: skliBasi
Sirius: What is Basilisk?
Dumbledore: Correct.
Sirius: I'll take Unscramble this for 1000, please.
Dumbledore: xeaBabnots
Mr. Diggory: What is Beaxbatons sniff?
Dumbledore: Correct.
Mr. Diggory: I'll take Karkaroff Continued for 200.
Dumbledore: After narrowly escaping the Death Eaters when I last told his location, Karkaroff went on the run again to this place. This country borders the U.S. They are famous for their spicy foods and sweets.
Mr. Diggory: Where is Mexico?
Dumbledore: Correct.
Mr. Diggory: I'll take Karkaroff Continued for 300. Oh, by the way, Dumbledore, I watched your last Jeopardy round. Peter Pan did not come from the Netherlands, he came from Never Never Land.
Dumbledore: grumbles Well, this country is famous for a food every red- blooded American child loves-pizza! While your here, check out the Leaning Tower of Pizza!
Sirius: Where is Italy?
Dumbledore: Correct.
Mr. Malfoy: It is the Leaning Tower of Pisa, not Pizza.
Dumbledore: Same thing.
Sirius: I'll take Karkaroff Continued for 600.
Dumbledore: In this country, unlike America, says "chips" instead of "french fries" and "braces" instead of "suspenders."
Mr. Diggory: Where is England?
Dumbledore: Correct.
Mr. Diggory: I'll take Karkaroff Continued for 800.
Dumbledore: After fleeing England because it was obviously where most of the Death Eaters already were, Karkaroff escaped to this country. The capital is Moscow, and many people there have blonde hair. They also have little wooden toys that when you pull each apart, a smaller figure is inside until you get 3 to 10. (Just in case you are wondering, my parents travel round the world. My parents are Chinese, lived in Scotland for 10 years and I was born, and went to Russia, Japan, France, etc.)
Mr. Malfoy: Where is Russia?
Dumbledore: Correct.
Mr. Malfoy: I'll tale Karkaroff Continued for 1100, sir.
Dumbledore: My goodness, you even talk like your son. Well, the question: Christopher Columbus came from this place, and I do not mean the director of the Harry Potter movie!
Sirius: There's a Harry Potter movie?
Mr. Diggory: I don't know. I heard about some Christopher Columbus finding some country by King Ferdinand and Queen Isabella.
Sirius: Oh! Spain!
Dumbledore: No, remember your history lessons, Christopher Columbus did not get an approval from his own country so he went to Spain.
Sirius: Oh. Then he came from Italy?
Mr. Diggory: No, Marco Polo came from Italy.
Dumbledore: Italy is correct!
Mr. Diggory: I thought Marco Polo came from Italy.
Dumbledore: He did.
Mr. Diggory: Christopher Columbus couldn't come from Italy too!
Dumbledore: Why not?
Mr. Diggory: Because-because- oh, I see. Never mind.
Sirius: Smart, Amos.
Mr. Diggory: At least I'm not an escaped convict.
Sirius: I told you. I told everyone: Peter Pettigrew framed me! He is still alive! I didn't kill him!
Mr. Diggory: Any witnesses?
Sirius: Remus, Peter, Voldemort, Harry, Hermione, and Ron.
Mr. Diggory: Right. 3 kids, one werewolf, one dead person, and one evil super villain.
Sirius: Fine. Don't believe me.
Mr. Diggory: I never did.
Sirius: Cedric died! Cedric died! Cedric died!
Mr. Diggory: eyes brimming Please, do not remind me that my strong handsome Hufflepuff Seeker son died! He was loved by almost everyone.
Sirius: imitating Voldemort Kill….the….spare….
Mr. Diggory: points wand at Sirius Fununculus!
Sirius: yells as boils come out of his face
Dumbledore: 50 points from Hufflepuff!
Mr. Diggory: I graduated from Hogwarts 23 years ago.
Dumbledore: Who cares, still 50 points. It isn't like it matters, Hufflepuff always gets last place for the cup. They can't even get within 50 points of Ravenclaw!
Mr. Diggory: Well… Hufflepuffs aren't born smart.
Dumbledore: Of course. Have you ever read books before? They are almost always the same: Two boys, one girl, and one outcast. In the case of Harry Potter, it is Neville Longbottom. Always the same thing. My best example would be Digimon: 2 boys, one athletic girl, one sweet one. Same case as Founding Four: Godric was the hero, Salazar was the rude one, Rowena was the athletic and smart one, and Hufflepuff was the sweet one. Try Enchanted Forest Chronicles and such, they are always the same thing. Try The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe. Perfect example. Ever read Louis Sachar's The Boy Who Lost His Face? Well, David is the Hero, Larry is the rude sidekick, Maureen is the tom boy, and Tori is the sweet outcast. Back to Enchanted Forest Chronicles: You see, Morwen was the sort of the sweet one, Cimorene was athletic, Mendenbar's the hero and-
Sirius: We get it.
Mr. Diggory: So you are basically saying that Hufflepuff's the outcast?
Dumbledore: Yes. Ever met Ernie MacMillan?
Mr. Diggory: This is Jeopardy! This is not Live With Regis, so stop!
Dumbledore: All right, all right. I'm cool.
bell rings
Dumbledore: All right. Now Amos Diggory is in the lead with 57 points, followed by Sirius Black with 53. Tagging as a caboose is Lucius Malfoy with 16 points.
Mr. Malfoy: I'm calling my lawyer!
Dumbledore: There is no way you can sue me, you got that fair and square.
Mr. Malfoy: You're a racist!
Dumbledore: We're all from England. How can I be a racist?
Mr. Malfoy: You don't like blonde hair and blue eyes!
Dumbledore: When I was young, I HAD blonde hair and blue eyes.
Mr. Malfoy: Well- well, (shuts himself up)
Dumbledore: We'll be right back on Jeopardy!
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Like before, please chose the categories, please (