I thought I would never continue Jeopardy, and yet I put up a new one the
week right after I ended the last one, saying I would never write one
again. Well, I like Jeopardy.
*****************
Dumbledore: And now we are back on Jeopardy. Unfortunately, our champion Sirius couldn't come back to us, after one of my questions apparently quoted myself telling him to hide at Lupin's, so Sirius is on the run again. However, we have 3 new contestants. Our first one is Draco Malfoy!
Draco Malfoy: Good evening, sir.
Dumbledore: Tell us a little about yourself.
Draco: I am a Slytherin seeker, and my friends are Crabbe and Goyle. I always taunt Potter and get him in trouble.
Dumbledore: Thank you. Now, it is time for our next contestant, Remus Lupin! Tell us about yourself, Remus.
Remus: Well, I was friends with Sirius Black and James Potter. I am a werewolf, and I taught Defense Against the Dark Arts for one year at Hogwarts.
Dumbledore: Thank you, and our third and final contestant for today is Peeves the Poltergeist!
Peeves: Hello,
Dumbledore: I didn't want to ask this, but please, tell us about yourself.
Peeves: I am the poltergeist who plays pranks and steals things from everybody in the school. Sometimes I help people, but only if it means I can do something bad to another person. My least favorite person in the entire world is Filch. I tried to get him once by sticking gum in his broom closet keyhole, and since he was a squib, he couldn't get it out but then loony loopy LUPIN had to use waddiwasi on me.
Remus: grins
Dumbledore: Well, now our categories for today are Muggle Television Shows, Who Am I, and The Harry Potter Movie.
Draco: Great, now Harry Potter became a movie?
Dumbledore: Yes. They just finished filming Chamber of Secrets. It is going to be out in mid-November.
Draco: Does it have me?
Dumbledore: Yes. It has all of us except Lupin.
Lupin: frowns
Dumbledore: Maybe not Peeves, either.
Peeves: stops smiling
Dumbledore: Let's start with Remus.
Lupin: I'll take Who Am I for 100, please.
Dumbledore: I say that I have big bones, but I am really a half giant.
Lupin: Who is Madame Maxime?
Dumbledore: Correct.
Lupin: I'll take Who Am I for 200, please.
Dumbledore: I am a Gryffindor chaser, and Lee Jordan said I was good looking in my first year.
Draco: Who is Angelina Johnson?
Dumbledore: Correct.
Draco: I'll take Who Am I for 400, please.
Dumbledore: I am almost a Squib. My worst fear is Professor Snape, and with the help of Professor Lupin, I made a boggart look like him dressed in my grandma's clothes.
Lupin: Who is Neville Longbottom?
Dumbledore: Correct.
Lupin: Who Am I for 600, please.
Dumbledore: My grandparents were killed by Voldemort. I am in Harry's year, and am a Hufflepuff.
Draco: Who is Susan Bones?
Dumbledore: Correct.
Draco: Who am I for 700, please.
Dumbledore: I was a Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher in Harry's second year. I released a bunch of Cornish Pixies once, and they attacked me.
Lupin: Who is Professor Gilderoy Lockhart?
Dumbledore: Correct.
Lupin: Who am I for 800, please.
Dumbledore: I am a teacher at Hogwarts. My least favorite colleague is Professor Sybill Trelawney. My favorite student is Miss Hermione Granger.
Draco: Doesn't that qualify under every teacher but Snape?
Dumbledore: Maybe, but this one REALLY hates Trelawney.
Lupin: Who is Professor Minerva McGonagall?
Dumbledore: Correct.
Lupin: I'll take Who Am I for 1000, please.
Dumbledore: I clean the Hogwarts Kitchens. I think that House Elves don't have a right to be happy, and I don't like butterbeer. House Elves don't have a right to drink butterbeer.
Lupin: Who is Winky?
Dumbledore: No.
Peeves: Who is Dobby?
Dumbledore: No.
silence
Dumbledore: The correct answer was, Who was Kinko
Draco: Kinko? Kinko was never mentioned!
Dumbledore: Kinko was still a character. Remus, you start again.
Lupin: I'll take Harry Potter Movie for 100.
Dumbledore: This character plays Draco Malfoy. His girlfriend recently got beat up by his crazed fans. I'm not a Tom Felton fan, I only know it because everyone talked about it in some chat room
Draco: Wow. He sounds like me.
Peeves: Who is Tom Felton?
Dumbledore: Correct.
Peeves: I'll take Harry Potter Movie for 300.
Dumbledore: The baby Harry Potter wore this shirt when his parents died.
Lupin: What is Blues Clues?
Dumbledore: Correct.
Draco: What in the world would somebody wear that for?
Dumbledore: shrugs
Lupin: I'll take Harry Potter movie for 400.
Dumbledore: Unlike Rowling's interview that said James was actually a Chaser, the movie made James Potter this player on the Quidditch Team.
Lupin: What is a Seeker?
Dumbledore: Correct.
Draco: Who the hell is Rowling?
Lupin: shrugs
Dumbledore: Sirius said that she is a Muggle Reporter who can guess our future right.
Draco: Creepy.
Lupin: Sirius was on this show, too?
Dumbledore: Yes.
Lupin: Harry Potter Movie for 500, please.
Dumbledore: The director, Christopher Columbus, had a daughter portraying this girl in the Harry Potter movie.
Draco: Christopher Columbus? Somebody named their son Christopher when his last name was Columbus? That is absurd!
Peeves: Who is Susan Bones?
Dumbledore: Correct.
Peeves: I'll take Movie for 700.
Dumbledore: Warwick Davis, an actor, played two characters. The first one was Griphook the goblin. This is the second one.
Draco: Who is Professor Flitwick?
Dumbledore: Correct.
Draco: I'll take Movie for 900.
Dumbledore: Instead of meeting this person at Madame Malkin's Robes for All Occasions, Harry met him at Hogwarts.
Lupin's buzzer lights up
Lupin: Hey, I didn't squeeze the buzzer!
Dumbledore: Time out on that answer!
Lupin: But-but I didn't squeeze the buzzer!
Dumbledore: Oh, what rubbish. Who else could have?
Peeves snickers
Dumbledore: Lupin, go again.
Lupin: Muggle TV for 200, please.
Dumbledore: Monica, Rachel, Chandler, Joey, Pheoebe, Ross.
Draco: What is Friends?
Dumbledore: Correct.
Draco: Muggle TV for 300, please.
Dumbledore: Maya, Jack, Finch, Elliot, Nina.
Peeves: What is Just Shoot Me?
Dumbledore: Correct.
Peeves: I'll take Muggle TV for 400.
Dumbledore: Homer, Bart, Lisa, Marge, Maggie.
Draco: What are the Simpsons?
Dumbledore: Correct.
Draco: I'll take Muggle TV for 500.
Dumbledore: Al, Peggy, Kelly, Bud.
Peeves: What is King of the Hill?
Dumbledore: No.
Lupin: What is Married with Children?
Dumbledore: Correct.
Lupin: I'll take Muggle TV for 700.
Dumbledore: And the answer is.Daily Double!
Lupin: I'll wager 1000.
Dumbledore: Fry, Bender, Lila, Amy.
Lupin: What.is.Futurama?
Dumbledore: Correct!
Audience: applaud
Lupin: Whew! Muggle TV for 900, please.
Dumbledore: Matt, Simon, Lucy, Mary, Ruthie, Eric, Annie.
Peeves: What is American Idol?
Dumbledore: No.
Draco: What is 7th Heaven?
Dumbledore: Correct.
Draco: I'll take Muggle TV for 1100, please.
bell rings
Dumbledore: Looks like our time is up! Draco is in the lead with 3000, Lupin is following with 2300, and Peeves is in the back with negative 1500. Don't change the channel, we'll be right back!
*Commercials*
Mrs. Weasley: Well, we have a bit more food than we wanted. After all, it is starting to rot. All I remember was I told my husband, Arthur, to get Floo Powder and-
Harry: And he gets clam chowder?
Mrs. Weasley: That's right.
Fred: Look mom, the rotten clam chowder is scaring the garden gnomes away!
camera shows the entire room, full of clam chowder. Flies are buzzing around the room
Harry: Look, Mrs. Weasley. This is Sprint PCS. It is clearer, and has less static, unlike Cellular phones.
Mrs. Weasley: Thank you.
*next commercial*
Binky (Lavender's dead rabbit): Look! Those kids are giving out Trix to those surfers. If I become a surfer, I'll get some Trix! puts on surfer shorts and starts surfing
Parvati: Look at him!
Colin: He's good!
Ginny: Let's give him some Trix!
Binky: Trix! All that colorful fruity Trix will be mine! slips and falls of board, doing a bellyflop
Parvati, Colin, and Ginny: That's the rabbit! Silly rabbit, Trix are for kids!
Binky: I should have known. sighs
*****************
Dumbledore: And now we are back on Jeopardy. Unfortunately, our champion Sirius couldn't come back to us, after one of my questions apparently quoted myself telling him to hide at Lupin's, so Sirius is on the run again. However, we have 3 new contestants. Our first one is Draco Malfoy!
Draco Malfoy: Good evening, sir.
Dumbledore: Tell us a little about yourself.
Draco: I am a Slytherin seeker, and my friends are Crabbe and Goyle. I always taunt Potter and get him in trouble.
Dumbledore: Thank you. Now, it is time for our next contestant, Remus Lupin! Tell us about yourself, Remus.
Remus: Well, I was friends with Sirius Black and James Potter. I am a werewolf, and I taught Defense Against the Dark Arts for one year at Hogwarts.
Dumbledore: Thank you, and our third and final contestant for today is Peeves the Poltergeist!
Peeves: Hello,
Dumbledore: I didn't want to ask this, but please, tell us about yourself.
Peeves: I am the poltergeist who plays pranks and steals things from everybody in the school. Sometimes I help people, but only if it means I can do something bad to another person. My least favorite person in the entire world is Filch. I tried to get him once by sticking gum in his broom closet keyhole, and since he was a squib, he couldn't get it out but then loony loopy LUPIN had to use waddiwasi on me.
Remus: grins
Dumbledore: Well, now our categories for today are Muggle Television Shows, Who Am I, and The Harry Potter Movie.
Draco: Great, now Harry Potter became a movie?
Dumbledore: Yes. They just finished filming Chamber of Secrets. It is going to be out in mid-November.
Draco: Does it have me?
Dumbledore: Yes. It has all of us except Lupin.
Lupin: frowns
Dumbledore: Maybe not Peeves, either.
Peeves: stops smiling
Dumbledore: Let's start with Remus.
Lupin: I'll take Who Am I for 100, please.
Dumbledore: I say that I have big bones, but I am really a half giant.
Lupin: Who is Madame Maxime?
Dumbledore: Correct.
Lupin: I'll take Who Am I for 200, please.
Dumbledore: I am a Gryffindor chaser, and Lee Jordan said I was good looking in my first year.
Draco: Who is Angelina Johnson?
Dumbledore: Correct.
Draco: I'll take Who Am I for 400, please.
Dumbledore: I am almost a Squib. My worst fear is Professor Snape, and with the help of Professor Lupin, I made a boggart look like him dressed in my grandma's clothes.
Lupin: Who is Neville Longbottom?
Dumbledore: Correct.
Lupin: Who Am I for 600, please.
Dumbledore: My grandparents were killed by Voldemort. I am in Harry's year, and am a Hufflepuff.
Draco: Who is Susan Bones?
Dumbledore: Correct.
Draco: Who am I for 700, please.
Dumbledore: I was a Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher in Harry's second year. I released a bunch of Cornish Pixies once, and they attacked me.
Lupin: Who is Professor Gilderoy Lockhart?
Dumbledore: Correct.
Lupin: Who am I for 800, please.
Dumbledore: I am a teacher at Hogwarts. My least favorite colleague is Professor Sybill Trelawney. My favorite student is Miss Hermione Granger.
Draco: Doesn't that qualify under every teacher but Snape?
Dumbledore: Maybe, but this one REALLY hates Trelawney.
Lupin: Who is Professor Minerva McGonagall?
Dumbledore: Correct.
Lupin: I'll take Who Am I for 1000, please.
Dumbledore: I clean the Hogwarts Kitchens. I think that House Elves don't have a right to be happy, and I don't like butterbeer. House Elves don't have a right to drink butterbeer.
Lupin: Who is Winky?
Dumbledore: No.
Peeves: Who is Dobby?
Dumbledore: No.
silence
Dumbledore: The correct answer was, Who was Kinko
Draco: Kinko? Kinko was never mentioned!
Dumbledore: Kinko was still a character. Remus, you start again.
Lupin: I'll take Harry Potter Movie for 100.
Dumbledore: This character plays Draco Malfoy. His girlfriend recently got beat up by his crazed fans. I'm not a Tom Felton fan, I only know it because everyone talked about it in some chat room
Draco: Wow. He sounds like me.
Peeves: Who is Tom Felton?
Dumbledore: Correct.
Peeves: I'll take Harry Potter Movie for 300.
Dumbledore: The baby Harry Potter wore this shirt when his parents died.
Lupin: What is Blues Clues?
Dumbledore: Correct.
Draco: What in the world would somebody wear that for?
Dumbledore: shrugs
Lupin: I'll take Harry Potter movie for 400.
Dumbledore: Unlike Rowling's interview that said James was actually a Chaser, the movie made James Potter this player on the Quidditch Team.
Lupin: What is a Seeker?
Dumbledore: Correct.
Draco: Who the hell is Rowling?
Lupin: shrugs
Dumbledore: Sirius said that she is a Muggle Reporter who can guess our future right.
Draco: Creepy.
Lupin: Sirius was on this show, too?
Dumbledore: Yes.
Lupin: Harry Potter Movie for 500, please.
Dumbledore: The director, Christopher Columbus, had a daughter portraying this girl in the Harry Potter movie.
Draco: Christopher Columbus? Somebody named their son Christopher when his last name was Columbus? That is absurd!
Peeves: Who is Susan Bones?
Dumbledore: Correct.
Peeves: I'll take Movie for 700.
Dumbledore: Warwick Davis, an actor, played two characters. The first one was Griphook the goblin. This is the second one.
Draco: Who is Professor Flitwick?
Dumbledore: Correct.
Draco: I'll take Movie for 900.
Dumbledore: Instead of meeting this person at Madame Malkin's Robes for All Occasions, Harry met him at Hogwarts.
Lupin's buzzer lights up
Lupin: Hey, I didn't squeeze the buzzer!
Dumbledore: Time out on that answer!
Lupin: But-but I didn't squeeze the buzzer!
Dumbledore: Oh, what rubbish. Who else could have?
Peeves snickers
Dumbledore: Lupin, go again.
Lupin: Muggle TV for 200, please.
Dumbledore: Monica, Rachel, Chandler, Joey, Pheoebe, Ross.
Draco: What is Friends?
Dumbledore: Correct.
Draco: Muggle TV for 300, please.
Dumbledore: Maya, Jack, Finch, Elliot, Nina.
Peeves: What is Just Shoot Me?
Dumbledore: Correct.
Peeves: I'll take Muggle TV for 400.
Dumbledore: Homer, Bart, Lisa, Marge, Maggie.
Draco: What are the Simpsons?
Dumbledore: Correct.
Draco: I'll take Muggle TV for 500.
Dumbledore: Al, Peggy, Kelly, Bud.
Peeves: What is King of the Hill?
Dumbledore: No.
Lupin: What is Married with Children?
Dumbledore: Correct.
Lupin: I'll take Muggle TV for 700.
Dumbledore: And the answer is.Daily Double!
Lupin: I'll wager 1000.
Dumbledore: Fry, Bender, Lila, Amy.
Lupin: What.is.Futurama?
Dumbledore: Correct!
Audience: applaud
Lupin: Whew! Muggle TV for 900, please.
Dumbledore: Matt, Simon, Lucy, Mary, Ruthie, Eric, Annie.
Peeves: What is American Idol?
Dumbledore: No.
Draco: What is 7th Heaven?
Dumbledore: Correct.
Draco: I'll take Muggle TV for 1100, please.
bell rings
Dumbledore: Looks like our time is up! Draco is in the lead with 3000, Lupin is following with 2300, and Peeves is in the back with negative 1500. Don't change the channel, we'll be right back!
*Commercials*
Mrs. Weasley: Well, we have a bit more food than we wanted. After all, it is starting to rot. All I remember was I told my husband, Arthur, to get Floo Powder and-
Harry: And he gets clam chowder?
Mrs. Weasley: That's right.
Fred: Look mom, the rotten clam chowder is scaring the garden gnomes away!
camera shows the entire room, full of clam chowder. Flies are buzzing around the room
Harry: Look, Mrs. Weasley. This is Sprint PCS. It is clearer, and has less static, unlike Cellular phones.
Mrs. Weasley: Thank you.
*next commercial*
Binky (Lavender's dead rabbit): Look! Those kids are giving out Trix to those surfers. If I become a surfer, I'll get some Trix! puts on surfer shorts and starts surfing
Parvati: Look at him!
Colin: He's good!
Ginny: Let's give him some Trix!
Binky: Trix! All that colorful fruity Trix will be mine! slips and falls of board, doing a bellyflop
Parvati, Colin, and Ginny: That's the rabbit! Silly rabbit, Trix are for kids!
Binky: I should have known. sighs