AN: My tenses have really gotten messed up. Oh well. Consider the first chapter a prologue, and I'll go back and fix the others later. :)

it isn't very smart
tends to make one part
so brokenhearted

The door closed quietly as Carey let himself into Fi's room without knocking-a very intimate gesture, I noticed, one that indicated an existing level of trust between them. Annie suddenly appeared beside me as we both surveyed the closed door.

"So you talked to her?" she asked, and without waiting for an answer, plunged forward. "I talked to him. I wasn't, like, totally explicit about what I meant. I didn't think I should just say 'hey, why don't you go hang out with Fi and see what happens?' But I think he got the picture anyway." Giggle fit. Hers, not mine. "So was she into the idea?"

"I wasn't explicit either," I explained. "They aren't children. I can't just tell her what to do anymore. But I have a good feeling about all of this. I think it'll end up working out really well."

"You think they were together before?" mused Annie.

"I have a suspicion," I said mysteriously, and then we fell into a comfortable silence, just staring at the wall beside the door for a while. Finally Annie said, "I don't think they'll be coming out anytime soon." We ended up sitting around in the bedroom I was using; I played video games and she tried to write a song or something. At least, I think that's what she was doing. I tried to block out the noise, but it reminded me of the night before, when Carey had been playing that song I couldn't quite place. Suddenly the melody clicked into its rightful position in my memory, like the last piece of a jigsaw puzzle: it was the song Fiona had played after that medium guy visited. There were only a few notes when I'd heard her play it that day, but Carey had been playing more than she'd known of it back then. I smiled not entirely deviously as it occurred to me that Fi probably taught him the song, yet another indication of the apparently extremely close relationship between the two of them. Excellent. I congratulated myself on my killer observational skills and concentrated on the game again, feeling much lighter than I had before.

Unfortunately, my elation was short-lived. We heard Fi's door open and close as carefully as before and one set of footsteps thud down the stairs. I looked at Annie. Annie looked at me. We crept to my doorway and peered into the hallway. The door was still closed. One person was still in there. Why was our attempt to put them together unsuccessful? I tried to remember what I had heard the adults talking about: poor girl, she thought it was going to be more serious than it was, I hope this week isn't too hard for her. Why would this week be hard for her? Was she going to be seeing someone who will remind her of an unpleasant break-up? If it wasn't Carey, if their discussion didn't lead to reconciliation, then did that mean-could they have been talking about her and Clu?

I decided simply not to meddle in my sister's affairs anymore. I didn't want to think about any of it. I guess the look on my face gave away my feelings; Annie didn't say a single word. We just went back into my room and resumed our respective activities until we both fell asleep.

In the morning, I woke up with a pillow crammed under my face to separate skin from carpet. I lifted myself up off the floor and looked around blearily. Annie was gone; the bed, presumably where she'd slept, was made. Thank you, Annie, I noted mentally. I headed downstairs and listened for any telltale signs of a budding or rekindled romance between Fi and Carey, one last hope that my well-intentioned stab at matchmaking or maybe just getting them back together had worked. I heard voices raised in jubilation, but not hers, and it struck me again how much Carey sounded like his brother.

Except Carey really doesn't sound that much like Clu.

I didn't expect our first meeting after all this time to be like this. He was sitting there next to Fi, laughing it up, while Mom and Irene and Carey were making breakfast and my sister was smiling reluctantly at his obvious attempts to cheer her up. (Carey kept sneaking not-so-secret glances over at Clu and Fi. I wondered if it was jealousy. I couldn't keep my mind on that, though.) Annie sat on Clu's other side, beaming brightly at him, as usual.

And there I stood, a disheveled mess, in a t-shirt and sweatpants, unable to say anything normal like hey or how's it going or it's been a while. I just stared. He glanced at me out of the corner of his eye but didn't address me and my stomach began to turn. I headed away from the table and pasted on a big fake smile, offering to help the others.

But I didn't want to butter toast. I wanted to run outside and jump in my car, drive twenty miles above the speed limit all the way back to my isolated sanctuary. I wanted him to stand up, throw his arms around me, forgive me for all past and future transgressions. I wanted to tell the world, starting with the seven other people crammed into this small kitchen, that it wasn't just a one-time thing, that I wanted to wake up next to him every morning for as long as we both lived.

Instead, I buttered toast.