Disclaimer: You know what I own? I probably don't own The Rock, but I do
own a little rock that I found in my backyard and I called it "The Rock".
See? I own The Rock. YOU KNOW WHAT??? I own the WWE; I don't care what you
say!!! MUAHAHAHHA!!
.......................................
Rock: Welcome back to "Cookin' With The Rock" we have to finish this.
(There's a gasp from the audience as Vince McMahon enters the set with a big box in his hand)
VINCE: Austin! I have a little something I want to share with you!
(Rock and Austin look at each other, seriously, then look back at Vince. Mark is scared)
AUSTIN: Uhhh, what is it boss?
VINCE: Ah, wouldn't you like to know? It's a big surprise for the two of you right here in this box. And let me tell you, I spared no expense for this!
AUSTIN: (smiling) Okay, old man, show me what you got!
VINCE: Oh, I will....believe me, Austin...I WILL SHOW YOU!
(While Rock and Austin talk with Vince, Mark sneaks around the set and grabs one of the folding chairs from the audience. As he gets right behind Vince, he smashes the flat of the chair right on the back of his head.)
VINCE: AGGGHHHHH!
(Vince collapses to the ground, face first, and drops the box. A chocolate birthday cake falls out that says 'Happy Birthday Austin')
ROCK: What the heck did you do that for?
MARK: (crying) I thought he was going to get you.
AUSTIN: Jesus Christ, boy! He was bringing me a birthday cake and this is how you treat him?
MARK: But he looked like he was going to-
ROCK: (enraged) I told the producers that this contest was just gonna give us a piece of worthless trailer park trash. YOU ARE A STINKIN SMELLIN STEAMING 5 CENT PILE OF MONKEY CRAP ROODY POO CANDY ASS TRAILER PARK TRASH RIGHT FROM THE SMACKDOWN HOTEL!!!!!
MARK: I'm sorry-
AUSTIN: Sorry, son? AUSTIN 3:16 SAYS YOU JUST F*CKED UP MY BIRTHDAY CAKE, BOY! Looks like I'm going to have to open up a HUGE CAN OF WHOOP ASS on you. IF YA SMELL WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKING!
ROCK: Hey that's my line.
AUSTIN: Whoops... sorry Rock.
(Austin grabs Mark by the neck and gives him a stunner on top of the lasagna pan. Rock then takes off his shirt, flicks his eyebrow up at the TV camera, and then gives a killer People's Elbow. Mark is lying bloody and crying in a fetal position, as both Rock and Austin take turns stomping his head).
ROCK (Acting like nothing happened): Well, that's all the time we have for "Cooking With The Rock".
Rock: Welcome back to "Cookin' With The Rock" we have to finish this.
(There's a gasp from the audience as Vince McMahon enters the set with a big box in his hand)
VINCE: Austin! I have a little something I want to share with you!
(Rock and Austin look at each other, seriously, then look back at Vince. Mark is scared)
AUSTIN: Uhhh, what is it boss?
VINCE: Ah, wouldn't you like to know? It's a big surprise for the two of you right here in this box. And let me tell you, I spared no expense for this!
AUSTIN: (smiling) Okay, old man, show me what you got!
VINCE: Oh, I will....believe me, Austin...I WILL SHOW YOU!
(While Rock and Austin talk with Vince, Mark sneaks around the set and grabs one of the folding chairs from the audience. As he gets right behind Vince, he smashes the flat of the chair right on the back of his head.)
VINCE: AGGGHHHHH!
(Vince collapses to the ground, face first, and drops the box. A chocolate birthday cake falls out that says 'Happy Birthday Austin')
ROCK: What the heck did you do that for?
MARK: (crying) I thought he was going to get you.
AUSTIN: Jesus Christ, boy! He was bringing me a birthday cake and this is how you treat him?
MARK: But he looked like he was going to-
ROCK: (enraged) I told the producers that this contest was just gonna give us a piece of worthless trailer park trash. YOU ARE A STINKIN SMELLIN STEAMING 5 CENT PILE OF MONKEY CRAP ROODY POO CANDY ASS TRAILER PARK TRASH RIGHT FROM THE SMACKDOWN HOTEL!!!!!
MARK: I'm sorry-
AUSTIN: Sorry, son? AUSTIN 3:16 SAYS YOU JUST F*CKED UP MY BIRTHDAY CAKE, BOY! Looks like I'm going to have to open up a HUGE CAN OF WHOOP ASS on you. IF YA SMELL WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKING!
ROCK: Hey that's my line.
AUSTIN: Whoops... sorry Rock.
(Austin grabs Mark by the neck and gives him a stunner on top of the lasagna pan. Rock then takes off his shirt, flicks his eyebrow up at the TV camera, and then gives a killer People's Elbow. Mark is lying bloody and crying in a fetal position, as both Rock and Austin take turns stomping his head).
ROCK (Acting like nothing happened): Well, that's all the time we have for "Cooking With The Rock".