Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters, nor am I associated with Port Charles or ABC in any way, shape or form. I am simply borrowing the characters
for entertainment purposes.
Title: The City of Angels
Summary/Couples: I'm going to try the Jack and Alison thing, integrated with the romance of Alison and Rafe, so bear with me if you're not a fan of Jack and Alison together. Constructive criticism is welcome. Enjoy. This story takes place after Jack and Alison kiss for the first time at his loft.
~*~*~*~
Jack looked over at the now-conscious Alison, who had awoken with a gasp. He watched as her eyes scanned the room nervously, looking down at herself, until her eyes landed on him, and she smiled slightly, as if having found what she'd been looking for. He smoothed his palm over the soft skin of her cheek, feeling her nervous energy slowly fade away.
"Good morning," he said, softly. He couldn't help but feel amusement as she rubbed her eyes, somewhat groggily.
"It's that early? It's already tomorrow?" she asked, starting to sit up. He smiled again and shook his head,
"No, I'm just teasing. It's almost midnight. Not technically tomorrow, so not technically early either." She let out a sigh, and smiled, before settling back against his side, slipping her arms around him.
"How did you sleep?" he added, looking down at her small form cuddled against him. But he could see her expression fall when she registered what he was asking.
"Okay," she answered, uncertain. "I dreamt of you," she started. She paused, "I was running through some forest, and I didn't know where I was, or anything. But I saw the barn, so I went inside, and I saw everyone. Kevin, Lucy, my Nanna, Jamal, everybody. And then in front were Rafe and Livvie. Rafe, didn't seem too happy but he stood there only because Livvie, like, forced him to. And then he said to give up, that things were no longer up to me, and to leave. He just looked so . . . defeated, y'know? So hopeless, like he lost his faith, or something. And then there was everyone else, who all had these identical looks on their faces. Like they were all so . . . I don't know, disappointed? And that seemed so strange to me, how everyone looked like they had one collective facial expression, so I got out of the barn. I ran but I tripped and fell. I didn't think I could get up either, I really didn't. But then I saw you, and you helped me."
"Well, I'm glad I could help," Jack replied, with a nod. Whenever Alison spoke of Rafe, he felt a jab of pain slice through his heart, as if the guy's name was a fresh knife-wound. But contrary to what he wanted, he knew she loved him, and she probably always would. From what he heard, they had been close, and the fact that he didn't seem to remember a moment of it, just didn't seem right. That despite all the time he'd spent with Alison, not to mention the heartache and effort they'd gone through to make things work, he was now married to Livvie, bonafide liar and slave to the devil. To Jack, nothing seemed to add up, but no matter how many times he'd been through the subject with Alison, she always had an excuse for him, a reason. And regardless of the countless times he tried to convince her otherwise, to Alison, Rafe was a good person, the best.
"Yeah, it ended nice," she said, looking up at him. Jack returned her gaze, noting the happiness in the midst of the two pools of blue abyss that he found so easy to drown in. Was that happiness a result of the memory of Lucy's cousin in her dream? Or was it of him, the person she claimed saved her? Being that the last thing she mentioned about the dream was an image of him assisting her, his bets were on the latter. But he couldn't be sure. Asking would put his heart on his sleeve, open and welcoming to anything that threatened to hurt it. Assuming what he pleased gave him the uncertainty of not knowing how she felt about him.
"Ali, I need to know something," he blurted out easily. "What we did . . . the kiss . . . was that a mistake?" She furrowed her brow in his direction, loosening her grip around him.
"You regret it?" she questioned, not answering.
"No, I don't. But do you? I can't help but think you may wish it was Rafe you'd been kissing, rather than me?" The words came tumbling out of his mouth before he could retrieve them, and he was met with an incredulous look. Alison swiftly stood up, her body still facing his, her hands at her sides.
"How could you even ask me that?" she demanded, her eyes wide. He stood to meet her gaze, holding out his hands to touch her arms.
"Look, I'm sorry, I didn't mean--."
"Yes you did! Jack, I said your name! Or don't you remember? It was your name I was calling out, not Rafe's. God!" she said, taking several steps in the opposite direction, wrapping her arms around herself.
"I know, and I'm sorry. He's just been all you ever talk about lately, it's a little hard to believe that you may have other feelings."
"Feelings for who? You? Jack, I don't even know what I believe in anymore. And Rafe will always be special to me. We spent several beautiful months together," she pointed out. "And forgetting that is something you can not ask me to do."
"I'm not asking you to do anything. I just want to know what your feelings towards me are, exactly. Because, I don't know about you, Alison, but lately things have been pretty vague, when it comes to that, so I really don't know what to think. So if you could just clear up a little bit of that confusion, that would be-."
"Yes!! Yes, I do! I have feelings for you, Jack. There! Is that what you wanted to hear?"
Jack took a deep breath. "Alison . . ." he paused, letting a momentary silence calm them, before speaking up again. "I didn't mean to push." Jack heard her sigh. He knew getting over Rafe was a rough time for her, but after having shared a rather intimate few moments earlier, he thought she owed him the truth.
"Alison, you have to understand what I'm saying. I know how much Rafe meant to you, and I respect that. But after being as close as we were before, I think I deserve the truth. What are your feelings for the guy and where do I fit in?"
~*~
Alison stared at the wall, listening to Jack's request, meanwhile thinking of what she really wanted. Did she still want her angel, Rafe? Or did she want her best friend to become more than just a confidante? She had all sorts of memories of her and Rafe: During Christmas, Kevin and Lucy's wedding, breaking things off with Jamal so she could be with him. He'd brought such joy to her life when Valerie tried ruining what she held near and dear to her heart. And he'd made her feel so special and beautiful on the day of their wedding, a day she couldn't ever forget. The liking for privacy and romance was something they'd both shared, something they'd integrated into their private ceremony with God.
And then there was Jack, her best friend, and her real-life angel. He'd tried to help her get over Rafe countless times, when everyone else had deemed her hopeless and given up. Not that she'd ever made it easy. It seemed that every time he attempted to maker her think about the reality of things, or something happened to make her believe that she might finally be getting over him, Rafe coincidentally gave her another reason to hang onto any shred of hope she still might have. And with an endless amount of patience, Jack kept trying, over and over again. He was indeed a good friend to her; there was no doubt in that. Every time Alison had yet another issue or something to say, she always went to Jack. She was sure that by now, he had to be fed up with all of her complaints but rarely did he express that feeling to her. Time spent with Jack was always special and enjoyable. Whether they were out in the park or just sitting in his living room, talking, they always had plenty of laughs. Even when she had come to confide in him with tears streaming down her face, they were always gone by the night's conclusion. He was a highlight in her life, and she didn't want to give that up, ever.
Finally she turned to him.
"Look, Jack," she paused again. Talking like this, about these things, in these tones, was always a tough thing.
"I do have feelings for you. Friendship . . . and more. But I still have these feelings for Rafe too. And with that sad, I really don't want to mess up any of what we have together, and . . . I just don't know what to do," she breath a sigh of utter defeat and plopped down onto the couch. She let her head fall into her hands, shutting her eyes as if keeping them open gave her a headache. She felt Jack's presence as he sat down next to her, after a few beats, moving one hand in a comforting, circular motion on her back before taking her in his arms. Being so close to him made her feel so safe. The same kind of safe she felt with Rafe. She slid her arms around him in reply, breathing in his bittersweet scent slowly, the smell comforting to her. They remained in the position for several moments, before Alison slowly and gently pulled back to her upright sitting position, and looked at him.
"I'm so sorry, Jack. I'm just so confused right now about everything. None of this probably makes any sense to you," she said, offering a small smile, as if in spite of her herself. But Jack shook his head,
"It's alright. I didn't mean to come on so strong. I know these things take a while to figure out, and I'm sorry. I shouldn't have put you on the spot like that," he said, making it seem as if a small load of weights had been lifted off her shoulders. "But I do think there is something between us, and I don't think it's fair to either one of us if you rule it out so quickly," he added, his expression serious, yet not too over-bearing.
And Alison knew he was right, too. This was something she could not deny. Ever since he'd kissed her for the first time, there was an undeniable sensation that was indescribable. She'd often thought of this sensation as love. But could a woman love two men the same? She'd always envisioned love as a feeling a woman felt for a man, and vise versa, and that this feeling could only be shared between two people. That was what had always made love so special, that it couldn't ever be equaled. But if what she'd felt was true, then she'd just proved her own theory wrong. The love she felt for Jack was slowly, but surely, changing from the love of a friend, to that of a lover. The man that sat before her was not only her best friend, but a man that she loved. She let her eyes rest on his.
"There is, Jack. There is something between us, and I do owe you the truth."
~*~*~*~
TBC