***
The chants began and it was Xander who felt the greatest pain over what had to been done. He had major issues with Faith. There was much too much that had occurred between them. He didn't really want to care about the situation.
Then he looked over to see the dark brown haired girl. She stood before the hole, not looking at anything except the hole before her. On her hand was Xander's Sunnydale High ring.
He didn't want to care, but he did more than anything.
Only because once again she had found him alone. She had opened herself up to him.
When everyone was doing those things that needed to be done to prepare for the ritual Faith had snuck to find him.
It was awkward to say the least. He had lost his virginity to this girl. She had almost killed off his entire senior class. She had been responsible for so much damage. He didn't want to care about her. He wanted her gone, Anya would not be happy.
Then her confident cocky demeanor changed.
"Xander I'm scared," she whispered as tears fell down her cheeks.
He didn't see the murderer, the one responsible for so much pain faded. He saw the girl he had met at first, vibrant, alive and vunerable. He also saw a girl he had never seen in her before. He saw the hurt little girl who no one had loved. He only saw a child who wasn't prepared for her fate. He saw Buffy, if she hadn't had anyone in the world.
"Why?" I don't understand. I mean I know that B needs to live, I know it's my turn. I can't go back to jail. It's awful. There are all these walls. I have no choices anymore. I have nothing. This is my only way out."
He was only Xander Harris, goofball extraordinaire he stood there.
"This guy came to me. It was perfect. He gave me a way out. I didn't want to die with the weight of all of my sins on me. Then this little warlock guy came up to the prison and asked if I wanted to be forgiven. He asked if I wanted to be free. It sounded like such a load, but I was sick of jail. I wanted freedom. So I listened. I never wanted to die before because there was just so much that I never got to say. I just wanted the chance to show I was sorry. Now I get the chance, but Xander I'm scared. I don't' know if I can do this."
Wordlessly, he had held her. She had raged against the fate that had led her to the horror that was her life. In the end Xander couldn't bring himself to even want to try.
"You don't have to do this," Xander whispered in her ear, "We will forgive you somehow if you don't die."
Faith looked up at him, "Do you think that I am doing this for you."
"You don't have to."
Faith looked down then she looked up, "I am doing this because my life is worth nothing. Her life is worth something to all of you. I am doing this because I am tired of fighting."
"You aren't worth nothing. You don't have to die."
Faith looked up at him and shook her head. She knew that he wanted Buffy to live more than his own life. He just was unsure about sacrificing her.
She smiled, "I'll do this. I'm not doing this for any of you. I'm doing this because I need to. I need to prove something to everyone."
It was having one person tell her that all this fate was nothing and in the end it was her choice that changed her mind. She had decided.
She marched to the Hellmouth like a champion.
There were demons protecting the Hellmouth. They wouldn't want the Hellmouth closed. It was a source of power, it allowed things to happen that would not usually.
Fighting was different without Buffy, they had gotten somewhat used to fighting when Buffy was taking her vacation from life. Willow found a vantage point and controlled the action. There was no Spike, no Buffy, they had to rely on Faith.
Faith fought nobly to get to the site of her death. She pummeled the demons around her.
*Willow* Giles thought *Tell them to hit the Trakklar in the eye.*
Willow attempted to convey that.
"Great advice," Xander said aloud, "Which one is that?"
Giles rolled his eyes.
After just a few moments Faith had killed the demons. When she was done Xander realized she was standing in the exact spot that the mayor had turned into a snake. He almost expected her to run away. She didn't however and the group walked into the library.
They stood before the hole in the library.
Faith looked down, "You think that they would have fixed the school already."
"Nah, no one wants to go back here lest they do something crazy like remembering," Xander said trying to make light of the situation.
No one else knew what to say. They were torn between their dislike of Faith and their deep thanks that Buffy would live and the Hellmouth would close.
There were no speeches, there was no pretense. Faith just stood before the place that would be her last. She had listened to Tara and Willow use their incantations and had prepared herself to jump.
When the time came it was Xander's eyes that she had sought. Everyone else was too busy in their preparations. Anya would not be happy, but he owed her this much. She was giving Buffy life. He held her brown eyes and mouthed, "You don't have to do this."
She looked down at the ring on her hand. Sunnydale Class of '99. He had given her. He just wanted to make sure that she had something to hold onto as she went through with everything.
When she jumped it was his eyes that she focused on. She had mouthed 'thank you' and then she was gone.
Xander was torn up.
The group gathered on the edge of the precipice.
"I think we should give her some kind of memorial," Tara said softly.
Giles nodded.
They gathered around and lit candles.
There were no words to be said. They couldn't find the words to celebrate the life of Faith. It was always tainted. However they each silently thanked her for what she had done. One by one they left until Xander stood watching the hole. He silently said goodbye.
****
"Did it hurt?"
Buffy was standing on the tower. It was a beautiful spring day. Sunnydale lay shining at her feet. She wore a gauzy dress. Next to her looking down at the pavement where Buffy had fallen two years ago was Faith. She wore the same dress.
Buffy's only thought was that she had
"No."
"Good, cause I'm scared."
"Faith what are you doing?"
Faith's eyes never left the ground, stories away, as she spoke.
"Prison is hell. I thought that living in the world as an outsider was terrible. But living caged is the worst torment. A slayer is not meant to be caged. I can't do that anymore. So when this guy offered me a deal I took it. Little short guy. He said some mumbo jumbo, but the just was this, I die, I close the Hellmouth and then I gain heaven. I just can't live like this anymore. I'm not one to care if I save anyone, so I'm saving myself."
"Faith.."
Faith looked up and put up her hand.
"B- I'm not going to bullshit you, especially now. I'm just tired. I've got nothing. Now I'm going to have something. They promised. I don't have much time, I can't get into what they said. I made my choice."
Buffy felt something pulling at her.
"Faith…" Buffy said urgently.
Faith smiled, "It's my time."
Faith looked at her for the last time.
"B, just do me a favor. I'm no hero. I leave that to you and your brooding souled thing. My middle name is Faith, my first name is Laura. If I'm going to do this you at least can name her after me."
With that Faith jumped, just like Buffy had two years ago.
The chants began and it was Xander who felt the greatest pain over what had to been done. He had major issues with Faith. There was much too much that had occurred between them. He didn't really want to care about the situation.
Then he looked over to see the dark brown haired girl. She stood before the hole, not looking at anything except the hole before her. On her hand was Xander's Sunnydale High ring.
He didn't want to care, but he did more than anything.
Only because once again she had found him alone. She had opened herself up to him.
When everyone was doing those things that needed to be done to prepare for the ritual Faith had snuck to find him.
It was awkward to say the least. He had lost his virginity to this girl. She had almost killed off his entire senior class. She had been responsible for so much damage. He didn't want to care about her. He wanted her gone, Anya would not be happy.
Then her confident cocky demeanor changed.
"Xander I'm scared," she whispered as tears fell down her cheeks.
He didn't see the murderer, the one responsible for so much pain faded. He saw the girl he had met at first, vibrant, alive and vunerable. He also saw a girl he had never seen in her before. He saw the hurt little girl who no one had loved. He only saw a child who wasn't prepared for her fate. He saw Buffy, if she hadn't had anyone in the world.
"Why?" I don't understand. I mean I know that B needs to live, I know it's my turn. I can't go back to jail. It's awful. There are all these walls. I have no choices anymore. I have nothing. This is my only way out."
He was only Xander Harris, goofball extraordinaire he stood there.
"This guy came to me. It was perfect. He gave me a way out. I didn't want to die with the weight of all of my sins on me. Then this little warlock guy came up to the prison and asked if I wanted to be forgiven. He asked if I wanted to be free. It sounded like such a load, but I was sick of jail. I wanted freedom. So I listened. I never wanted to die before because there was just so much that I never got to say. I just wanted the chance to show I was sorry. Now I get the chance, but Xander I'm scared. I don't' know if I can do this."
Wordlessly, he had held her. She had raged against the fate that had led her to the horror that was her life. In the end Xander couldn't bring himself to even want to try.
"You don't have to do this," Xander whispered in her ear, "We will forgive you somehow if you don't die."
Faith looked up at him, "Do you think that I am doing this for you."
"You don't have to."
Faith looked down then she looked up, "I am doing this because my life is worth nothing. Her life is worth something to all of you. I am doing this because I am tired of fighting."
"You aren't worth nothing. You don't have to die."
Faith looked up at him and shook her head. She knew that he wanted Buffy to live more than his own life. He just was unsure about sacrificing her.
She smiled, "I'll do this. I'm not doing this for any of you. I'm doing this because I need to. I need to prove something to everyone."
It was having one person tell her that all this fate was nothing and in the end it was her choice that changed her mind. She had decided.
She marched to the Hellmouth like a champion.
There were demons protecting the Hellmouth. They wouldn't want the Hellmouth closed. It was a source of power, it allowed things to happen that would not usually.
Fighting was different without Buffy, they had gotten somewhat used to fighting when Buffy was taking her vacation from life. Willow found a vantage point and controlled the action. There was no Spike, no Buffy, they had to rely on Faith.
Faith fought nobly to get to the site of her death. She pummeled the demons around her.
*Willow* Giles thought *Tell them to hit the Trakklar in the eye.*
Willow attempted to convey that.
"Great advice," Xander said aloud, "Which one is that?"
Giles rolled his eyes.
After just a few moments Faith had killed the demons. When she was done Xander realized she was standing in the exact spot that the mayor had turned into a snake. He almost expected her to run away. She didn't however and the group walked into the library.
They stood before the hole in the library.
Faith looked down, "You think that they would have fixed the school already."
"Nah, no one wants to go back here lest they do something crazy like remembering," Xander said trying to make light of the situation.
No one else knew what to say. They were torn between their dislike of Faith and their deep thanks that Buffy would live and the Hellmouth would close.
There were no speeches, there was no pretense. Faith just stood before the place that would be her last. She had listened to Tara and Willow use their incantations and had prepared herself to jump.
When the time came it was Xander's eyes that she had sought. Everyone else was too busy in their preparations. Anya would not be happy, but he owed her this much. She was giving Buffy life. He held her brown eyes and mouthed, "You don't have to do this."
She looked down at the ring on her hand. Sunnydale Class of '99. He had given her. He just wanted to make sure that she had something to hold onto as she went through with everything.
When she jumped it was his eyes that she focused on. She had mouthed 'thank you' and then she was gone.
Xander was torn up.
The group gathered on the edge of the precipice.
"I think we should give her some kind of memorial," Tara said softly.
Giles nodded.
They gathered around and lit candles.
There were no words to be said. They couldn't find the words to celebrate the life of Faith. It was always tainted. However they each silently thanked her for what she had done. One by one they left until Xander stood watching the hole. He silently said goodbye.
****
"Did it hurt?"
Buffy was standing on the tower. It was a beautiful spring day. Sunnydale lay shining at her feet. She wore a gauzy dress. Next to her looking down at the pavement where Buffy had fallen two years ago was Faith. She wore the same dress.
Buffy's only thought was that she had
"No."
"Good, cause I'm scared."
"Faith what are you doing?"
Faith's eyes never left the ground, stories away, as she spoke.
"Prison is hell. I thought that living in the world as an outsider was terrible. But living caged is the worst torment. A slayer is not meant to be caged. I can't do that anymore. So when this guy offered me a deal I took it. Little short guy. He said some mumbo jumbo, but the just was this, I die, I close the Hellmouth and then I gain heaven. I just can't live like this anymore. I'm not one to care if I save anyone, so I'm saving myself."
"Faith.."
Faith looked up and put up her hand.
"B- I'm not going to bullshit you, especially now. I'm just tired. I've got nothing. Now I'm going to have something. They promised. I don't have much time, I can't get into what they said. I made my choice."
Buffy felt something pulling at her.
"Faith…" Buffy said urgently.
Faith smiled, "It's my time."
Faith looked at her for the last time.
"B, just do me a favor. I'm no hero. I leave that to you and your brooding souled thing. My middle name is Faith, my first name is Laura. If I'm going to do this you at least can name her after me."
With that Faith jumped, just like Buffy had two years ago.