Disclaimer- I own none of this. I wish I owned Aragorn but I do own the plot.

Author's Note- If you like Legolas DO NOT read this.  This is also a diary type story.

                                                            Chapter 1

Day 1:

I've been stuck in Bree for a week waiting for the hobbits. I'm thinking about leaving.

Day 2:

Found Hobbits by Frodo's misuse of the ring. Dragged him into a room and scared him half to death. Had to keep watch for Nazguls. Sam was hitting on Frodo.

Day 3:

Walked all day, not fun. I much prefer a horse. Miss Arwen. On plus side I hit Pippin in the head with an apple.

Day 4:

Took them to the ruins of the watchtower. I have taken to walking behind the hobbits as they are at waist length. 

They are idiots; they lead the Nazguls right here. On plus side I had to kill all nazguls. Frodo stabbed with a Mordor blade. While looking for kings foil I had a lovely chat with Arwen and um……. Well…….. damnit the hobbits came in. Damn them. Arwen decided to take frodo, give Sam's frying pan a rest, can't think about it…. Getting….sick. Now have to walk to Rivendel.

Day 6:

In Rivendell. Me and Arwen have to share a room, very happy. Took a shower on the highest floor, Sam gave frodo about 6 baths while he was unconscious. Eldron very pissed, hobbits used all the strawberry scented soap. I was called to Council of Elrond. Came early and found legolas giving Gimli "mouth to Mouth". Are Arwen and I the only straight ones?

The little hobbit Frodo decided to take ring, I joined the quest. So did Legolas, Gimli, Gandalf, Samwise (pervy hobbit), Merry, Pip, and Boromir. Gave Arwen a good by kiss, caught Sam giving frodo the frying pan, my eyes are probably bleeding from that.

Day 10:

Haven't been writing for a while, I've been stuck on a mountain half buried in a snow drift. Also went to The Mines of Moria. Gimli almost died but his pervy dwarve fancier Legolas grabbed him. Miss Arwen. Gandalf died sadly, he fell into the Shadow's with that huge ass Belrog, I heard it didn't work out between them. Smeagol/Gollum does have interesting gossip. Legolas kept trying to hug everyone. Had success with everyone but me, thank god for my sword.

Day 12:

Killed, countless numbers of Orcs. Boromir died, that's what gets for thinking I was gay. Almost died myself. Caught Legolas lying on Boromir's body, gay one he is. At least Merry and Pippin haven't done anything "obscene" that I know of. Sam kept giving Frodo a backrub all through the woods.

Day 13:

Paddled all day to my country. There Sam and Frodo left to go to Mordor, pervy hobbits.