Anything Goes
Disclamor: We do not own any of the charecters in this story.
-------------------------------- (slephie) ASHTON!!! your dragons are drooling down my neck!! can't you sit somewhere else?
(Aston) Sorry I can't help it. there not mine honestly!
[Squall and Zell walk in to the gym from basketball practice]
(Wufei) Alright! everyone listen up! if you wish to master the ways of the balls...you girls stop laughing!!!
(Girls) Hehehe! You mean basketballs right.
(WuFei) Thats the size of them. NO, I MEAN..DAMN *&%$#@!!!!
[IRVINE ENTERS] HEY ASHTON. SOMEONE TOLD ME YOU WERE BOTHERING MY GIRLS HERE.
(ASHTON) WEELL, UM, SEE ITS REALLY NOT MY FAULT GRYODOR AND URRURUN'S FAULT THEY REALLY HAVE A MIND OF THERE OWN. HE HE HE OH CRAP.
[IRVINE PUNCHES ASTON RIGHT IN THE FACE WHILE SQUALL AND ZELL BUST OUT LAUGHING ON THE FLOOR.]
[RINOA COMES IN IN HER CHEERLEADING UNIFORM. ALL THE GUYS JAWS DROP. ASHTON JUST KEEPS ON BLEEDING, BUT GRYOR AND URRURUN GO BUG EYED AND START WHISTLING AT HER.]
(RINOA) HELLOOOOOO BOYS ;-)
[RINOA WALKS OVER TO THEM. SQUALL PUCKERS UP, BUT RINOA WALKS RIGHT BY AND STARTS PETTING GRYODOR AND URRURUN. ZELL MUMBLES SOMETHING ABOUT "..the dragons die at midnnight..."]
[HEADMASTER ZECHS WALKS IN.] STUDENTS WHY IS THERE A DEAD GUY ON THE GROUND WITH TWO DRAGONS AND A GIRL STCKING OUT OF HIM?
(ALL) WE ARE SORRY HEADMASTER. IT WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN.
(ZECHS TO HIMSELF) BULLSHIT. THE NEXT TIME, THE GUY WILL BE STICKIING OUT OF THE GIRLS BACK...DAMN HORNY TEENAGERS... [RELENA WALKS IN A SHORT,TIGHT, NURSES UNIFORM. ALL THE GUYS HEADS TURN AND THE COMICAL NOSEBLEEDS START.]
(BOY) UM, NURSE RELENA MY NOSE IS BLEEDING COULD YOU CHECK IT.
(RELENA) OK, I'LL JUST BEND DOWN AND LOOK UP YOUR NOSTRALL.
(BOY TO HIMSELF) WHILE SHES LOOKING AT MY NOODLE, I'M LOOKING DOWN HER DRESS. (OUTLOUD) WHAT THE F@#$ ARE THOSE?
[THE BOY FLIES ACROSS THE ROOM AS RELENA BACKHANDS HIM SO HARD HIS NOSE REALLY STARTS TO BLEED. H LAND ON TOP OF THE ALREADY BADLY BEATEN ASTHON]
(BOTH) ouccchhhhhhhhh...
{=MEANWHILE, IN MAREMEIA'S SOCIAL STUDIES CLASS...=}
(MAREMEIA) CLASS. i WOULD LIKE TO INFORM YOU THAT AS PERTAINING TO MY FATHER'S WISHES, I WILL RULE THE WORLD!)
(CLOUD) HEY TEACH!
(MAREMEIA) YES CLOUD?
(CLOUD) HELL DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH THE INDUSTRIAL REVOLUTION?
(AERIS) UGH, MAM? WORLD LEADERSHIP IS DOWN THE HALL.
(MAREMEIA) I KNOW THAT!! STUUPID KID...
(AERIS) wHAT...I....I...I THOUGHT YOU LIKED US, MISS MAREMEIA.
(MAREMEIA) HELL NO! YOU KIDS DUSGUST ME!
(TIFA) THATS IT! YOU AND ME, RIGHT NOW MISS PRISSY-ASS KUSHRINADA WANNABE!
(MAREMEAIA) BRING IT ON!
[CID WALKS IN WITH A MICROPHONE AND CARD TABLE.] THIS WILL BE THE FIGHT OF THE YEAR FOLKS! IT'S THE CHALLENGER, TIFA LOCHART, THE GIRL WHOS UNANIMOUS VICTORY OVER THE SHINRA'S BEST CAT-FIGHTER, SCARLETT, HAS SEALED HER A POSITION IN THE HALLS OF THIS GREAT SPORT. IN THE OTHER CORNER, WE HAVE MAREMEIA KUSHRINADA, WHO HAS ALWAYS HAD EITHER A MAN OR A GUN TO PROTECT HER, MUST NOW RESORT TO A WOMEN'S FINEST WEAPON; HER NAILS.
(BARRET) hEY CID, GIVE ME 20 BUCKS ON THE TEACHER
(TIFA) BARRREEETTTTT!!!
(BARRETT) ERGH..I MEAN TIFA..
(CID) ALRIGHT THEN! I HAVE 20 ON TIFA! ANY TAKERS-YES I HAVE A TAKER-HE WISHES TO RAISE-ANOTHER 10 ON TIFA-ACCEPTED BY CLOUD-I HAVE 5 GIL ON MAREMEIA-SEES THERE ARE NO TAKERS-OK THAT'S IT! THE MATCH IS ABOUT TO START- ALL BETS ARE DOWN.
(MARIMEIA) ALL RIGHT BI'OTCH TIME TO DIE. FLAMING NAILS OF FURY.
[MARIMEA'S BEGINS BY SPINING HER HANDS LIKE A WINDMILL. TIFA BLOCKS AND STARTS TO CLAW AT MARIMEIA'S BACK.]
(CLOUD) TIFA IF YOU LOSE I'LL, I'LL, I'LL KILL YOU.
(TIFA) ALLRIGHT MISS PRISSY-ASS I'LL BEGIN BY USING THE BE'OTCH SLAP OF SHAME.
[MARIMEIA AND TIFA GO AT IT LIKE A PACK OF HUNGRY CATS (THUS THE NAME CAT- FIGHT)]
(CID) IT LOOKS LIKE MARIMEIA AND TIFA ARE AT A STAND OFF...
(=MEANWHILE IN THE GYM=)
(ASHTON) IS ANYONE GOING TO COME IN HERE TO SCRAPE ME OFF THE FLOOR.
(=BACK TO THE CAT FIGHT=)
(CID) MARIMEIA'S FINGERNAILS OF FURY AND TIFA'S BE'OTCH SLAP OF SHAME ARE EQUALLY POWERED.
(TIFA) HERE'S A MOVE I LEARNED FROM SCARLET, SLAP SEVEN TIMES TO THE POWER TOWER, ULTIMA BE'OTCH SLAP.
[THE SLAP HURLED MARIMEIA OUT OF THE ROOM AND ONTO THE BASKETBALL COURTS. LATER THAT NIGHT EVERYONE PARTIED, NO I MEAN PARTIED.
(=THE NEXT DAY=)
[SMACK SMACK SMACK ON THE DOOR.]
(POLICE) ARE YOU CLOUD?
(CLOUD) YES, WHY.
(POLICE) I FOUND TIFA SWIMMING IN THE LAKE.
(TIFA) I AM THE LIZARD QUEEN.
(YUFIE) CLOUD ,HUNNY COME BACK TO BED.
(TIFA) YOU MAKE LIZZARD QUEEN VERY ANGRY. URGE TO KILL RISING.
(CLOUD) YOU CAN'T BE OFFENDED BY THAT WHAT ABOUT WHEN YOU AND SQUALL SNUCK OFF TOGEATHER LAST NIGHT.
(TIFA) URGE TO KILL LOWERING, LOWERING, LOWERING, RISEING , LOWERING, GONE.
[TIFA GETS HER HAND AND SMACKS IT ACROSS CLOUDS FACE.]
(CLOUD) i THOUGHT YOUR URGE TO KILL WAS GONE.
(TIFA) URGE TO SMACK RISEING, RISNING, RIING!!!!!!!!
[cLOUD FINDS HE'S STUCK BETWEEN THE LIZARD BITCH AND THE HORNY NAKED MATERIA THIEF.]
[WHILE CLOUD GETS SMACKED AROUND BY LIZARD BITCH I MEAN TIFA, YUFFIE SNEAKS OUT THE WINDOW WITH CLOUD'S MATERIA.]
(CLOUD) COME IN TIFA LET ME WARM YOU UP WITH BODY ACTION I MEAN HOT WATER.
[DIG DONG, DOOR BELL RINGS]
(ZECHS) ALL RIGHT I THOUGHT THIS WOULDNT HAPPEN AGAIN! HUH, HUH. WHAT'S WITH YOU HORNY TEENAGERS.
(SAME PEOPLE AS BEFORE) SORRY HEADMASTER, IT WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN.
(ZECHS) WHAT THE HELL! DO YOU GUYS FOLLOW ME AROUND OR SOMTHIN'.
(SAME PEOPLE AS BEFORE) YES HEADMASTER, IT WONT HAPPEN AGAIN.
Disclamor: We do not own any of the charecters in this story.
-------------------------------- (slephie) ASHTON!!! your dragons are drooling down my neck!! can't you sit somewhere else?
(Aston) Sorry I can't help it. there not mine honestly!
[Squall and Zell walk in to the gym from basketball practice]
(Wufei) Alright! everyone listen up! if you wish to master the ways of the balls...you girls stop laughing!!!
(Girls) Hehehe! You mean basketballs right.
(WuFei) Thats the size of them. NO, I MEAN..DAMN *&%$#@!!!!
[IRVINE ENTERS] HEY ASHTON. SOMEONE TOLD ME YOU WERE BOTHERING MY GIRLS HERE.
(ASHTON) WEELL, UM, SEE ITS REALLY NOT MY FAULT GRYODOR AND URRURUN'S FAULT THEY REALLY HAVE A MIND OF THERE OWN. HE HE HE OH CRAP.
[IRVINE PUNCHES ASTON RIGHT IN THE FACE WHILE SQUALL AND ZELL BUST OUT LAUGHING ON THE FLOOR.]
[RINOA COMES IN IN HER CHEERLEADING UNIFORM. ALL THE GUYS JAWS DROP. ASHTON JUST KEEPS ON BLEEDING, BUT GRYOR AND URRURUN GO BUG EYED AND START WHISTLING AT HER.]
(RINOA) HELLOOOOOO BOYS ;-)
[RINOA WALKS OVER TO THEM. SQUALL PUCKERS UP, BUT RINOA WALKS RIGHT BY AND STARTS PETTING GRYODOR AND URRURUN. ZELL MUMBLES SOMETHING ABOUT "..the dragons die at midnnight..."]
[HEADMASTER ZECHS WALKS IN.] STUDENTS WHY IS THERE A DEAD GUY ON THE GROUND WITH TWO DRAGONS AND A GIRL STCKING OUT OF HIM?
(ALL) WE ARE SORRY HEADMASTER. IT WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN.
(ZECHS TO HIMSELF) BULLSHIT. THE NEXT TIME, THE GUY WILL BE STICKIING OUT OF THE GIRLS BACK...DAMN HORNY TEENAGERS... [RELENA WALKS IN A SHORT,TIGHT, NURSES UNIFORM. ALL THE GUYS HEADS TURN AND THE COMICAL NOSEBLEEDS START.]
(BOY) UM, NURSE RELENA MY NOSE IS BLEEDING COULD YOU CHECK IT.
(RELENA) OK, I'LL JUST BEND DOWN AND LOOK UP YOUR NOSTRALL.
(BOY TO HIMSELF) WHILE SHES LOOKING AT MY NOODLE, I'M LOOKING DOWN HER DRESS. (OUTLOUD) WHAT THE F@#$ ARE THOSE?
[THE BOY FLIES ACROSS THE ROOM AS RELENA BACKHANDS HIM SO HARD HIS NOSE REALLY STARTS TO BLEED. H LAND ON TOP OF THE ALREADY BADLY BEATEN ASTHON]
(BOTH) ouccchhhhhhhhh...
{=MEANWHILE, IN MAREMEIA'S SOCIAL STUDIES CLASS...=}
(MAREMEIA) CLASS. i WOULD LIKE TO INFORM YOU THAT AS PERTAINING TO MY FATHER'S WISHES, I WILL RULE THE WORLD!)
(CLOUD) HEY TEACH!
(MAREMEIA) YES CLOUD?
(CLOUD) HELL DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH THE INDUSTRIAL REVOLUTION?
(AERIS) UGH, MAM? WORLD LEADERSHIP IS DOWN THE HALL.
(MAREMEIA) I KNOW THAT!! STUUPID KID...
(AERIS) wHAT...I....I...I THOUGHT YOU LIKED US, MISS MAREMEIA.
(MAREMEIA) HELL NO! YOU KIDS DUSGUST ME!
(TIFA) THATS IT! YOU AND ME, RIGHT NOW MISS PRISSY-ASS KUSHRINADA WANNABE!
(MAREMEAIA) BRING IT ON!
[CID WALKS IN WITH A MICROPHONE AND CARD TABLE.] THIS WILL BE THE FIGHT OF THE YEAR FOLKS! IT'S THE CHALLENGER, TIFA LOCHART, THE GIRL WHOS UNANIMOUS VICTORY OVER THE SHINRA'S BEST CAT-FIGHTER, SCARLETT, HAS SEALED HER A POSITION IN THE HALLS OF THIS GREAT SPORT. IN THE OTHER CORNER, WE HAVE MAREMEIA KUSHRINADA, WHO HAS ALWAYS HAD EITHER A MAN OR A GUN TO PROTECT HER, MUST NOW RESORT TO A WOMEN'S FINEST WEAPON; HER NAILS.
(BARRET) hEY CID, GIVE ME 20 BUCKS ON THE TEACHER
(TIFA) BARRREEETTTTT!!!
(BARRETT) ERGH..I MEAN TIFA..
(CID) ALRIGHT THEN! I HAVE 20 ON TIFA! ANY TAKERS-YES I HAVE A TAKER-HE WISHES TO RAISE-ANOTHER 10 ON TIFA-ACCEPTED BY CLOUD-I HAVE 5 GIL ON MAREMEIA-SEES THERE ARE NO TAKERS-OK THAT'S IT! THE MATCH IS ABOUT TO START- ALL BETS ARE DOWN.
(MARIMEIA) ALL RIGHT BI'OTCH TIME TO DIE. FLAMING NAILS OF FURY.
[MARIMEA'S BEGINS BY SPINING HER HANDS LIKE A WINDMILL. TIFA BLOCKS AND STARTS TO CLAW AT MARIMEIA'S BACK.]
(CLOUD) TIFA IF YOU LOSE I'LL, I'LL, I'LL KILL YOU.
(TIFA) ALLRIGHT MISS PRISSY-ASS I'LL BEGIN BY USING THE BE'OTCH SLAP OF SHAME.
[MARIMEIA AND TIFA GO AT IT LIKE A PACK OF HUNGRY CATS (THUS THE NAME CAT- FIGHT)]
(CID) IT LOOKS LIKE MARIMEIA AND TIFA ARE AT A STAND OFF...
(=MEANWHILE IN THE GYM=)
(ASHTON) IS ANYONE GOING TO COME IN HERE TO SCRAPE ME OFF THE FLOOR.
(=BACK TO THE CAT FIGHT=)
(CID) MARIMEIA'S FINGERNAILS OF FURY AND TIFA'S BE'OTCH SLAP OF SHAME ARE EQUALLY POWERED.
(TIFA) HERE'S A MOVE I LEARNED FROM SCARLET, SLAP SEVEN TIMES TO THE POWER TOWER, ULTIMA BE'OTCH SLAP.
[THE SLAP HURLED MARIMEIA OUT OF THE ROOM AND ONTO THE BASKETBALL COURTS. LATER THAT NIGHT EVERYONE PARTIED, NO I MEAN PARTIED.
(=THE NEXT DAY=)
[SMACK SMACK SMACK ON THE DOOR.]
(POLICE) ARE YOU CLOUD?
(CLOUD) YES, WHY.
(POLICE) I FOUND TIFA SWIMMING IN THE LAKE.
(TIFA) I AM THE LIZARD QUEEN.
(YUFIE) CLOUD ,HUNNY COME BACK TO BED.
(TIFA) YOU MAKE LIZZARD QUEEN VERY ANGRY. URGE TO KILL RISING.
(CLOUD) YOU CAN'T BE OFFENDED BY THAT WHAT ABOUT WHEN YOU AND SQUALL SNUCK OFF TOGEATHER LAST NIGHT.
(TIFA) URGE TO KILL LOWERING, LOWERING, LOWERING, RISEING , LOWERING, GONE.
[TIFA GETS HER HAND AND SMACKS IT ACROSS CLOUDS FACE.]
(CLOUD) i THOUGHT YOUR URGE TO KILL WAS GONE.
(TIFA) URGE TO SMACK RISEING, RISNING, RIING!!!!!!!!
[cLOUD FINDS HE'S STUCK BETWEEN THE LIZARD BITCH AND THE HORNY NAKED MATERIA THIEF.]
[WHILE CLOUD GETS SMACKED AROUND BY LIZARD BITCH I MEAN TIFA, YUFFIE SNEAKS OUT THE WINDOW WITH CLOUD'S MATERIA.]
(CLOUD) COME IN TIFA LET ME WARM YOU UP WITH BODY ACTION I MEAN HOT WATER.
[DIG DONG, DOOR BELL RINGS]
(ZECHS) ALL RIGHT I THOUGHT THIS WOULDNT HAPPEN AGAIN! HUH, HUH. WHAT'S WITH YOU HORNY TEENAGERS.
(SAME PEOPLE AS BEFORE) SORRY HEADMASTER, IT WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN.
(ZECHS) WHAT THE HELL! DO YOU GUYS FOLLOW ME AROUND OR SOMTHIN'.
(SAME PEOPLE AS BEFORE) YES HEADMASTER, IT WONT HAPPEN AGAIN.