She sat at the bar trying not to feel, to think. In the background some
girl was singing something about goodbye. Typical. She came here so she
didn't have to remember, to deal with him going. And the entertainment is
about nothing but. If she didn't know better, she'd think the Powers were
trying to tell her something. But she did know better. He'd abandoned her
just like the rest of them.
He was probably gone by now. She didn't need to look at a clock to know it was past his take off time. His pleading eyes when he'd told her when the plane would depart, the question he'd never ask of her. Cause he never asked anything of her. Not her sweet, faithful Giles. So she didn't say anything. And she didn't go. She was not going to say goodbye. Why should she? He didn't deserve her respect, or a final farewell. He deserved nothing, not after leaving her when she needed him most.
A movement to her side drew her attention from her drink. Just what she needed. Spike and his lovesick puppy eyes. Expecting her to jump up and throw herself in his arms. As if it were all about him. He couldn't make it better, make the pain go away. She turned away, sick of looking at him. Sick of having to deal with him, and with everything else. She just wanted to sit here and drink and forget. Drink made it numb, made sure she wouldn't have to remember. At least until morning.
But it was cold sitting by herself. She knew she had to pull herself out of it somehow. Had to feel something, anything. Even if it was false. Turning, she slipped off her stool and looked for him. She knew he wouldn't leave. He was so like Xander when they first met. Dogging her steps, always watching out for her. There he was by the stairs, waiting. She walked to him, blocking everything else out. They moved behind the stairs as she wrapped her arms around him. She didn't love him, but at least while they kissed she knew she was alive. She felt something other than the cold. And wasn't that irony? A vampire cold as ice was the only person who could warm her up.
So she closed her eyes, and allowed Spike to take control. If she let herself go she wouldn't imagine she could hear the plane fly overhead. She wouldn't remember that he was leaving for good, that he wouldn't be there to help her, to protect her the way only he did. She'd take responsibility just like he asked. Tomorrow. For now, this was the only place she could be. The only protection she could have.
He was probably gone by now. She didn't need to look at a clock to know it was past his take off time. His pleading eyes when he'd told her when the plane would depart, the question he'd never ask of her. Cause he never asked anything of her. Not her sweet, faithful Giles. So she didn't say anything. And she didn't go. She was not going to say goodbye. Why should she? He didn't deserve her respect, or a final farewell. He deserved nothing, not after leaving her when she needed him most.
A movement to her side drew her attention from her drink. Just what she needed. Spike and his lovesick puppy eyes. Expecting her to jump up and throw herself in his arms. As if it were all about him. He couldn't make it better, make the pain go away. She turned away, sick of looking at him. Sick of having to deal with him, and with everything else. She just wanted to sit here and drink and forget. Drink made it numb, made sure she wouldn't have to remember. At least until morning.
But it was cold sitting by herself. She knew she had to pull herself out of it somehow. Had to feel something, anything. Even if it was false. Turning, she slipped off her stool and looked for him. She knew he wouldn't leave. He was so like Xander when they first met. Dogging her steps, always watching out for her. There he was by the stairs, waiting. She walked to him, blocking everything else out. They moved behind the stairs as she wrapped her arms around him. She didn't love him, but at least while they kissed she knew she was alive. She felt something other than the cold. And wasn't that irony? A vampire cold as ice was the only person who could warm her up.
So she closed her eyes, and allowed Spike to take control. If she let herself go she wouldn't imagine she could hear the plane fly overhead. She wouldn't remember that he was leaving for good, that he wouldn't be there to help her, to protect her the way only he did. She'd take responsibility just like he asked. Tomorrow. For now, this was the only place she could be. The only protection she could have.