Chapter 6-Sisters
Willow was dressed and she was sitting on the bed she had been staying in since she had been freed from the trophy. It all still seemed like a terrible nightmare. Any minute, she was going to wake up and just realize she had to face another day knowing Xander was chasing other girls and not her.
Her lower lip trembled. He probably had a girlfriend.
Giles had told her about Angel and Buffy, and he had told her what Catherine Madison had done to her. Willow accepted Angel. So he was a demon. Well, Lorne was, too, and he was green. He also had a nice voice and Willow was grateful for him. She was also very grateful for Faith, who wasn't a demon. If it wasn't for Faith being there for her, she didn't believe she would have recovered as quickly as she had.
Willow sighed. Recovered? she thought to herself. Well, she still had a long way to go for that. Everything she had known was gone. The person who had used her body had gone through junior and senior class, had graduated, and who knows what else she had done. The fact remained. It wasn't Willow who had experienced life. Willow Rosenberg-the real Willow Rosenberg-never experienced those days. She had never kissed a boy, never had a date, never went to a prom, and never lived the life that should have been hers. Never made love. Never graduated. Never experienced life as a Freshman in college. Never drank a beer!
What was going to happen to her now?
What was Xander going to do once he found out what had happened to her?
A tear trickled down her cheek. She was more afraid for Xander at that moment than she was for herself.
"Hey," Faith said softly as she approached. "Are you ready, Will? Do you really want to do this?"
Willow looked up at her. "No," she said softly.
So softly that Faith almost didn't hear her. "Well, you don't have to. No one's going to make you do anything you don't want to." Faith watched her with concern. "Okay?"
"I-I don't want to do this," she said quietly, "b-but I have to." Finally, she looked up at Faith with tears in her eyes. "I-I'm scared."
Faith bit her lip to keep herself from crying as she went to Willow and hugged her. Willow returned the hug. She put her head on her shoulder and closed her eyes. Willow remembered a time before she had been put into a cheerleading trophy when she lived with her parents as an only child. She didn't have a sister, but having Faith with her made her feel like she did. It felt so good to have that in her life right now. It made what she was going through a little easier. Not much, but a little.
"Hey, being scared isn't so bad," Faith told her as she held her. "I get scared sometimes. Hell, I'm afraid of my own shadow, but I don't let people know about it. Y'know?"
Willow sat up and looked at her. "Are-are you really? Or is th-that a fib?"
Faith regarded her. "Well, part real and part fib."
Willow paused thoughtfully. "What do you mean?"
She hesitated. "Ah, you know, the fib is that I live like I'm on the edge. That I can take anything the world throws at me. That I can take care of myself." She looked into Willow's eyes. "But that's the whole lie. Angel helped me see it clearly, Will, and I want you to see it, too. I know you're not near anywhere as bad as I was, but I do know what you're feeling. Like no one is there for you. I used to feel that, too. I wanted to feel like that because I didn't want to let no one in." She swallowed back her tears. "You know, I could have saved myself a lot of grief if I had just let one person in. I know that now, and that's what's real! You have to let someone in. You have to reach out sometimes for someone to help you."
"You-you needed help?"
"Yeah, I did. You know, there were a lot of people who were willing to help me. They just didn't 'cause I wouldn't let them." Faith paused. "I don't want you to get to that point, Will. What you're going through is painful and," she hesitated, "and it might get worst. You might feel like running away. You might feel like shutting everyone out and be your own person. Please, don't. No matter how hard it gets, please reach out to someone. Reach out to me. I'll help you any way I can. I'll always be there for you."
Willow's lower lip trembled. "You-you're like a sister I-I never had, Faith." She sniffed. "I-I do need you. You've been there for me since- since I came back. I-I don't know what to do without you."
Faith didn't realize the impact she had made on Willow until then. She hugged Willow and the tears she had tried so hard to hold back came in a flood of emotion. The things she had done, the friends she had turned her back on, everything that was Faith bled through her tears. Willow was at first surprised, but she held onto Faith and they took comfort in each other.
After they had spent their emotions, they drew back and looked at each other.
Finally, Faith wiped at her eyes and tried a grin. "Wow, girlfriend. Where did that come from?"
"I-I dunno," Willow replied quietly. "Faith, uh, I-I'm here for you, too." She looked at her.
Faith hugged her again. "Thank you, Will. We'll be like sisters!" She smiled.
When they were ready, they went downstairs. Willow stayed beside her adopted sister as they stopped at the bottom of the stairs. Angel, Wesley, Cordelia, Lorne, and Giles were waiting. Willow looked at them and fidgeted nervously.
Giles approached her carefully. "Willow, are-are you ready?"
Willow hesitated. Finally, she nodded.
Giles looked at her. He couldn't help himself any longer. He took her gently by the shoulders and looked at her closely. "Willow, I am-am so sorry. I had no idea what Catherine Madison had done to you. I should have known, but-but I didn't. I swear to you, I'll make it up to you somehow. I'm-I'm sorry."
Willow hugged him. Giles found himself returning the hug. As they hugged, Willow said, "Giles, I'm-I'm not afraid of frogs no more."
He looked at her. "You're, er, not?"
She shook her head. "I'm afraid of trophy's." She paused. "And-and witches." She wanted to say that she was afraid of Xander, too.afraid that he wouldn't like her any more. The Xander of today was not the same Xander of five years ago.
"Well, don't-don't worry about them. Faith and I will take you home, where- where you're known and loved by your family and friends." He tried to smile reassuringly at her. "We've been here so long, Buffy has started to ask a-a lot of questions."
They had stayed at the hotel for a month. Giles had felt Willow needed the time to regain some of her equilibrium.
Willow's heart felt like breaking. "Giles," she said softly, "if I'm so known and loved by f-family and friends, how come they didn't know that I wasn't really me?"
Giles didn't know what to say.
Angel stepped toward her. "Willow, if you want to stay here, you're welcome to."
Willow glanced at Faith. "Thank you, Angel." She hesitated. "I-if I need to come back, can I?"
"There's always a place for you here." He looked at Faith. "For both of you."
Willow hesitantly approached him. "Uh, Angel...?"
Angel paused. "Yes, Willow?"
"Uh, if-if we hug, c-can you promise not to bite me?"
He smiled at her. "I promise." He hugged her.
Willow was relieved that he kept his promise. She also hugged Lorne, and then Wesley. Angel was glad to see her responding to others. It was at least a good sign.
When Willow went to Cordelia, she regarded her with suspicion.
"What is it?" Cordelia asked.
Willow hesitated, "I ju-just can't get over how different you are." She regarded her. "You even look different."
She paused. "How do I look?"
She pursed her lips in thought. "Kinda grownup." She paused. "Uh, well, you used to be mean, b-but you don't look mean. You're n-not any more though, right?"
Cordelia smiled. "Of course not, Willow. I'm not mean any more." She wanted to tell her that she didn't believe she was ever mean. However, she refrained from saying that because it wouldn't have been appropriate during the circumstances. "In fact, I changed over the years. I've helped Buffy with the research part of things, and once, I even dated Xander. Would someone mean date a guy like that?"
Willow stopped breathing. She took a step back and stared at Cordelia as if she had just done something horribly wrong. Cordelia realized her error too late and she took a step toward Willow imploringly. "Oh, God, Willow, I'm sorry." Cordelia reached for her.
Willow backed away from her and cried out, "Giles!" She didn't know what else to do. Her world was already horribly unbalanced. Now Cordelia had just made it worst by her confession of dating the only boy she ever loved. One thing was for certain. Cordelia was not going to get a hug from Willow now. "Giles, please...c-can we leave now?"
Giles glanced at Cordelia. "Yes, of-of course."
They all said their good-byes, but Willow could not bring herself to look at Cordelia. In her mind, Cordelia had never changed. She was still as mean as ever. Cordelia had done the one thing Willow only dreamed about. She had dated Xander. On their way out the door, tears rolled down Willow's cheeks, and she didn't wipe them away.
Beside her, Faith worried like hell about how Willow would feel if she ever learned her adopted sister was the one who had stolen Xander's virginity.
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TO BE CONTINUED--
Willow was dressed and she was sitting on the bed she had been staying in since she had been freed from the trophy. It all still seemed like a terrible nightmare. Any minute, she was going to wake up and just realize she had to face another day knowing Xander was chasing other girls and not her.
Her lower lip trembled. He probably had a girlfriend.
Giles had told her about Angel and Buffy, and he had told her what Catherine Madison had done to her. Willow accepted Angel. So he was a demon. Well, Lorne was, too, and he was green. He also had a nice voice and Willow was grateful for him. She was also very grateful for Faith, who wasn't a demon. If it wasn't for Faith being there for her, she didn't believe she would have recovered as quickly as she had.
Willow sighed. Recovered? she thought to herself. Well, she still had a long way to go for that. Everything she had known was gone. The person who had used her body had gone through junior and senior class, had graduated, and who knows what else she had done. The fact remained. It wasn't Willow who had experienced life. Willow Rosenberg-the real Willow Rosenberg-never experienced those days. She had never kissed a boy, never had a date, never went to a prom, and never lived the life that should have been hers. Never made love. Never graduated. Never experienced life as a Freshman in college. Never drank a beer!
What was going to happen to her now?
What was Xander going to do once he found out what had happened to her?
A tear trickled down her cheek. She was more afraid for Xander at that moment than she was for herself.
"Hey," Faith said softly as she approached. "Are you ready, Will? Do you really want to do this?"
Willow looked up at her. "No," she said softly.
So softly that Faith almost didn't hear her. "Well, you don't have to. No one's going to make you do anything you don't want to." Faith watched her with concern. "Okay?"
"I-I don't want to do this," she said quietly, "b-but I have to." Finally, she looked up at Faith with tears in her eyes. "I-I'm scared."
Faith bit her lip to keep herself from crying as she went to Willow and hugged her. Willow returned the hug. She put her head on her shoulder and closed her eyes. Willow remembered a time before she had been put into a cheerleading trophy when she lived with her parents as an only child. She didn't have a sister, but having Faith with her made her feel like she did. It felt so good to have that in her life right now. It made what she was going through a little easier. Not much, but a little.
"Hey, being scared isn't so bad," Faith told her as she held her. "I get scared sometimes. Hell, I'm afraid of my own shadow, but I don't let people know about it. Y'know?"
Willow sat up and looked at her. "Are-are you really? Or is th-that a fib?"
Faith regarded her. "Well, part real and part fib."
Willow paused thoughtfully. "What do you mean?"
She hesitated. "Ah, you know, the fib is that I live like I'm on the edge. That I can take anything the world throws at me. That I can take care of myself." She looked into Willow's eyes. "But that's the whole lie. Angel helped me see it clearly, Will, and I want you to see it, too. I know you're not near anywhere as bad as I was, but I do know what you're feeling. Like no one is there for you. I used to feel that, too. I wanted to feel like that because I didn't want to let no one in." She swallowed back her tears. "You know, I could have saved myself a lot of grief if I had just let one person in. I know that now, and that's what's real! You have to let someone in. You have to reach out sometimes for someone to help you."
"You-you needed help?"
"Yeah, I did. You know, there were a lot of people who were willing to help me. They just didn't 'cause I wouldn't let them." Faith paused. "I don't want you to get to that point, Will. What you're going through is painful and," she hesitated, "and it might get worst. You might feel like running away. You might feel like shutting everyone out and be your own person. Please, don't. No matter how hard it gets, please reach out to someone. Reach out to me. I'll help you any way I can. I'll always be there for you."
Willow's lower lip trembled. "You-you're like a sister I-I never had, Faith." She sniffed. "I-I do need you. You've been there for me since- since I came back. I-I don't know what to do without you."
Faith didn't realize the impact she had made on Willow until then. She hugged Willow and the tears she had tried so hard to hold back came in a flood of emotion. The things she had done, the friends she had turned her back on, everything that was Faith bled through her tears. Willow was at first surprised, but she held onto Faith and they took comfort in each other.
After they had spent their emotions, they drew back and looked at each other.
Finally, Faith wiped at her eyes and tried a grin. "Wow, girlfriend. Where did that come from?"
"I-I dunno," Willow replied quietly. "Faith, uh, I-I'm here for you, too." She looked at her.
Faith hugged her again. "Thank you, Will. We'll be like sisters!" She smiled.
When they were ready, they went downstairs. Willow stayed beside her adopted sister as they stopped at the bottom of the stairs. Angel, Wesley, Cordelia, Lorne, and Giles were waiting. Willow looked at them and fidgeted nervously.
Giles approached her carefully. "Willow, are-are you ready?"
Willow hesitated. Finally, she nodded.
Giles looked at her. He couldn't help himself any longer. He took her gently by the shoulders and looked at her closely. "Willow, I am-am so sorry. I had no idea what Catherine Madison had done to you. I should have known, but-but I didn't. I swear to you, I'll make it up to you somehow. I'm-I'm sorry."
Willow hugged him. Giles found himself returning the hug. As they hugged, Willow said, "Giles, I'm-I'm not afraid of frogs no more."
He looked at her. "You're, er, not?"
She shook her head. "I'm afraid of trophy's." She paused. "And-and witches." She wanted to say that she was afraid of Xander, too.afraid that he wouldn't like her any more. The Xander of today was not the same Xander of five years ago.
"Well, don't-don't worry about them. Faith and I will take you home, where- where you're known and loved by your family and friends." He tried to smile reassuringly at her. "We've been here so long, Buffy has started to ask a-a lot of questions."
They had stayed at the hotel for a month. Giles had felt Willow needed the time to regain some of her equilibrium.
Willow's heart felt like breaking. "Giles," she said softly, "if I'm so known and loved by f-family and friends, how come they didn't know that I wasn't really me?"
Giles didn't know what to say.
Angel stepped toward her. "Willow, if you want to stay here, you're welcome to."
Willow glanced at Faith. "Thank you, Angel." She hesitated. "I-if I need to come back, can I?"
"There's always a place for you here." He looked at Faith. "For both of you."
Willow hesitantly approached him. "Uh, Angel...?"
Angel paused. "Yes, Willow?"
"Uh, if-if we hug, c-can you promise not to bite me?"
He smiled at her. "I promise." He hugged her.
Willow was relieved that he kept his promise. She also hugged Lorne, and then Wesley. Angel was glad to see her responding to others. It was at least a good sign.
When Willow went to Cordelia, she regarded her with suspicion.
"What is it?" Cordelia asked.
Willow hesitated, "I ju-just can't get over how different you are." She regarded her. "You even look different."
She paused. "How do I look?"
She pursed her lips in thought. "Kinda grownup." She paused. "Uh, well, you used to be mean, b-but you don't look mean. You're n-not any more though, right?"
Cordelia smiled. "Of course not, Willow. I'm not mean any more." She wanted to tell her that she didn't believe she was ever mean. However, she refrained from saying that because it wouldn't have been appropriate during the circumstances. "In fact, I changed over the years. I've helped Buffy with the research part of things, and once, I even dated Xander. Would someone mean date a guy like that?"
Willow stopped breathing. She took a step back and stared at Cordelia as if she had just done something horribly wrong. Cordelia realized her error too late and she took a step toward Willow imploringly. "Oh, God, Willow, I'm sorry." Cordelia reached for her.
Willow backed away from her and cried out, "Giles!" She didn't know what else to do. Her world was already horribly unbalanced. Now Cordelia had just made it worst by her confession of dating the only boy she ever loved. One thing was for certain. Cordelia was not going to get a hug from Willow now. "Giles, please...c-can we leave now?"
Giles glanced at Cordelia. "Yes, of-of course."
They all said their good-byes, but Willow could not bring herself to look at Cordelia. In her mind, Cordelia had never changed. She was still as mean as ever. Cordelia had done the one thing Willow only dreamed about. She had dated Xander. On their way out the door, tears rolled down Willow's cheeks, and she didn't wipe them away.
Beside her, Faith worried like hell about how Willow would feel if she ever learned her adopted sister was the one who had stolen Xander's virginity.
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TO BE CONTINUED--