// February 2003 //
"Honey, I'm home," Kurt Angle said happily as he walked into the house that he shared with his wife of three months and their daughter Mackenzie Grace Angle. He was dismayed to hear wailing from the general direction of the nursery.
Kurt jogged to the nursery to see Mackenzie wailing, her face red from sobbing for what seemed to be a long time. Kurt walked to the crib and pulled the five-month old baby into his strong arms. After rocking her gently for a few moments, Mackenzie quieted down.
Kurt spent the next few moments changing Mackenzie's diaper and her clothes. He took her downstairs with him so he could watch her while he got her food out. "Where's your Mommy?" Kurt asked as he walked downstairs. Mackenzie smiled up at him happily, her blue eyes shining.
He was feeding Mackenzie in the kitchen when he noticed movement on the porch. "Daddy is going to go check that out," Kurt said to Mackenzie, wiping her mouth before he walked to the sliding glass door.
"Kurt," Stephanie said, smiling weakly at him.
"Where have you been?" Kurt asked.
"I went for a walk," Stephanie said.
"And you left Mackie here alone?" Kurt asked, feeling righteous anger rising inside of him.
"I was only gone for a little bit," Stephanie said.
"She was sobbing when I came inside," Kurt said.
"I'm sure she's fine," Stephanie said.
"She might not have been," Kurt said. "How could you have left her here alone? What if the house had caught on fire?"
"It didn't!" Stephanie exclaimed.
"It could have!" Kurt exclaimed.
"This isn't working," Stephanie said.
"What isn't working?" Kurt asked, the sudden shift in the direction of their conversation surprising him.
"Us," Stephanie said. "Me being a mother."
"You can't change the fact that you are a mother," Kurt said.
"I know," Stephanie said. "But I can change the 'us' part."
"What the hell is wrong with you?" Kurt asked, in horror.
"I hate what my life has become," Stephanie said. "I'm not the kind of person who takes care of other people Kurt. I never have been and I sincerely doubt I ever will be."
"I'm not asking you to take care of me," Kurt said. "But you have a responsibility to your daughter."
"I don't want to be a mother anymore," Stephanie said. "I love Mackenzie, but I want to find her a new home."
"No!" Kurt exclaimed.
"I don't want to be her mother," Stephanie said.
"You are her mother!" Kurt cried out. "And I will always be her father."
"Kurt, you and I will never work if you force me to keep Mackenzie," Stephanie said.
"You're forcing me to choose between you and my daughter?" Kurt asked.
"Something like that," Stephanie said.
"Well, that's an easy choice," Kurt said. "I want complete custody of Mackie."
"Kurt!" Stephanie exclaimed.
"I would never choose anyone over my child," Kurt said. "I guess that's just the part of me that's a parent."
"I love you Kurt," Stephanie said.
"No you don't," Kurt said. "If you loved me you never would have made me choose between you and Mackenzie. You would have known that she is the most precious thing on this earth."
"You aren't getting any of my money," Stephanie said, suddenly seeming very cold and distant.
"I wouldn't want any of it," Kurt said.
"I'm going to go pack," Stephanie said.
"Fine," Kurt replied.
Kurt walked back into the house and saw the mess Mackenzie had made of her food. She grinned at him. He smiled in spite of himself and picked her up into his arms. "You are the most important thing in my life," Kurt said. "Nothing will change that."
He walked with Mackenzie in his arms to the room he shared with Stephanie. He watched her as she dashed away a tear and threw clothes into suitcases. "You don't have to get it all now," Kurt said softly.
Stephanie jumped as she looked toward the door. "I'm not changing my mind."
"I'm not asking you to," Kurt replied. "I'm going on the road in a couple days and I guess I'll be taking Mackie with me. You can get the rest of your stuff then."
"Okay," Stephanie said.
"I don't want you to be a part of Mackenzie's life," Kurt said. "Ever."
"What about if she asks about me?" Stephanie asked him.
"I'm going to tell her that her mother is dead," Kurt said. "I'll make something up."
"And when she figures it out?" Stephanie asked.
"Then I will probably tell her that her mother walked out on her when she was a baby and I wanted to spare her the pain of feeling responsible," Kurt said.
"I can't be a mother," Stephanie said brokenly.
"Obviously," Kurt said disdainfully. He was shocked at himself. He loved Stephanie, he truly did. But it turned his blood cold that she could just give her daughter away because she didn't fit some plan Stephanie had for her own life.
"Can I hold her one last time?" Stephanie asked.
Kurt looked indecisive for a moment, but he finally handed his daughter to Stephanie. Stephanie held the baby girl close to her as she walked toward the window.
"It's not that I don't love you," Stephanie whispered. "It's that I don't think I can be what you need sweetheart. I can't put you first. You deserve better than that."
Mackenzie whimpered in Stephanie's arms as if she understood what Stephanie was saying. "Oh Mackie," Stephanie whispered. She walked hastily to Kurt and pushed Mackenzie back into his arms.
"You don't have to leave Stephanie," Kurt said, seeing the pain that Stephanie was in.
"Yes I do," Stephanie said. "It would be best for everyone."
"I love you Steph," Kurt said.
Stephanie smiled sadly at him. "I wish that were enough to make me a good person."
"I think you're a better person than you give yourself credit for," Kurt said.
"No, I think I'm finally giving myself the credit I deserve," Stephanie said. She stood and zipped up her suitcase. "I've got to go."
Kurt watched as Stephanie walked past him and out of his life. Out of Mackenzie's life.
"Honey, I'm home," Kurt Angle said happily as he walked into the house that he shared with his wife of three months and their daughter Mackenzie Grace Angle. He was dismayed to hear wailing from the general direction of the nursery.
Kurt jogged to the nursery to see Mackenzie wailing, her face red from sobbing for what seemed to be a long time. Kurt walked to the crib and pulled the five-month old baby into his strong arms. After rocking her gently for a few moments, Mackenzie quieted down.
Kurt spent the next few moments changing Mackenzie's diaper and her clothes. He took her downstairs with him so he could watch her while he got her food out. "Where's your Mommy?" Kurt asked as he walked downstairs. Mackenzie smiled up at him happily, her blue eyes shining.
He was feeding Mackenzie in the kitchen when he noticed movement on the porch. "Daddy is going to go check that out," Kurt said to Mackenzie, wiping her mouth before he walked to the sliding glass door.
"Kurt," Stephanie said, smiling weakly at him.
"Where have you been?" Kurt asked.
"I went for a walk," Stephanie said.
"And you left Mackie here alone?" Kurt asked, feeling righteous anger rising inside of him.
"I was only gone for a little bit," Stephanie said.
"She was sobbing when I came inside," Kurt said.
"I'm sure she's fine," Stephanie said.
"She might not have been," Kurt said. "How could you have left her here alone? What if the house had caught on fire?"
"It didn't!" Stephanie exclaimed.
"It could have!" Kurt exclaimed.
"This isn't working," Stephanie said.
"What isn't working?" Kurt asked, the sudden shift in the direction of their conversation surprising him.
"Us," Stephanie said. "Me being a mother."
"You can't change the fact that you are a mother," Kurt said.
"I know," Stephanie said. "But I can change the 'us' part."
"What the hell is wrong with you?" Kurt asked, in horror.
"I hate what my life has become," Stephanie said. "I'm not the kind of person who takes care of other people Kurt. I never have been and I sincerely doubt I ever will be."
"I'm not asking you to take care of me," Kurt said. "But you have a responsibility to your daughter."
"I don't want to be a mother anymore," Stephanie said. "I love Mackenzie, but I want to find her a new home."
"No!" Kurt exclaimed.
"I don't want to be her mother," Stephanie said.
"You are her mother!" Kurt cried out. "And I will always be her father."
"Kurt, you and I will never work if you force me to keep Mackenzie," Stephanie said.
"You're forcing me to choose between you and my daughter?" Kurt asked.
"Something like that," Stephanie said.
"Well, that's an easy choice," Kurt said. "I want complete custody of Mackie."
"Kurt!" Stephanie exclaimed.
"I would never choose anyone over my child," Kurt said. "I guess that's just the part of me that's a parent."
"I love you Kurt," Stephanie said.
"No you don't," Kurt said. "If you loved me you never would have made me choose between you and Mackenzie. You would have known that she is the most precious thing on this earth."
"You aren't getting any of my money," Stephanie said, suddenly seeming very cold and distant.
"I wouldn't want any of it," Kurt said.
"I'm going to go pack," Stephanie said.
"Fine," Kurt replied.
Kurt walked back into the house and saw the mess Mackenzie had made of her food. She grinned at him. He smiled in spite of himself and picked her up into his arms. "You are the most important thing in my life," Kurt said. "Nothing will change that."
He walked with Mackenzie in his arms to the room he shared with Stephanie. He watched her as she dashed away a tear and threw clothes into suitcases. "You don't have to get it all now," Kurt said softly.
Stephanie jumped as she looked toward the door. "I'm not changing my mind."
"I'm not asking you to," Kurt replied. "I'm going on the road in a couple days and I guess I'll be taking Mackie with me. You can get the rest of your stuff then."
"Okay," Stephanie said.
"I don't want you to be a part of Mackenzie's life," Kurt said. "Ever."
"What about if she asks about me?" Stephanie asked him.
"I'm going to tell her that her mother is dead," Kurt said. "I'll make something up."
"And when she figures it out?" Stephanie asked.
"Then I will probably tell her that her mother walked out on her when she was a baby and I wanted to spare her the pain of feeling responsible," Kurt said.
"I can't be a mother," Stephanie said brokenly.
"Obviously," Kurt said disdainfully. He was shocked at himself. He loved Stephanie, he truly did. But it turned his blood cold that she could just give her daughter away because she didn't fit some plan Stephanie had for her own life.
"Can I hold her one last time?" Stephanie asked.
Kurt looked indecisive for a moment, but he finally handed his daughter to Stephanie. Stephanie held the baby girl close to her as she walked toward the window.
"It's not that I don't love you," Stephanie whispered. "It's that I don't think I can be what you need sweetheart. I can't put you first. You deserve better than that."
Mackenzie whimpered in Stephanie's arms as if she understood what Stephanie was saying. "Oh Mackie," Stephanie whispered. She walked hastily to Kurt and pushed Mackenzie back into his arms.
"You don't have to leave Stephanie," Kurt said, seeing the pain that Stephanie was in.
"Yes I do," Stephanie said. "It would be best for everyone."
"I love you Steph," Kurt said.
Stephanie smiled sadly at him. "I wish that were enough to make me a good person."
"I think you're a better person than you give yourself credit for," Kurt said.
"No, I think I'm finally giving myself the credit I deserve," Stephanie said. She stood and zipped up her suitcase. "I've got to go."
Kurt watched as Stephanie walked past him and out of his life. Out of Mackenzie's life.