Scene 5: [We come back from commercials just as Gaz is returning to the kitchen, still looking a little dejected.]

Gaz: Pht. Why would I want to go to that stupid ball anyway? Still…that guy I met on the street might be there…what am I saying?! [clutches her head] I must be going crazy!

[Suddenly, there's a large "POOF" behind her and we see traces of gold and silver dust.]

Gaz: [whips around] What the –?

[Sitting on the window ledge, looking in at her, is GIR, still wearing his shiny wings and waving his wand around.]

GIR: [waves at Gaz] Hi there!!

Gaz: [mutters to herself] Now I know I'm going crazy…

GIR: No…you're not crazy. BUT I AM!!! [he giggles insanely]

Gaz: [wide eyed] I can see that…who are you?

GIR: I'm your Fairy God-robot!

Gaz: My what?

GIR: You wanna go to the ball, right?

Gaz: [quickly] No. Never. Ever.

GIR: [waves his wand in the air] Mr. Wand says you do!

Gaz: You're crazy.

GIR: Yup! And I've got a seeeeecret!!

Gaz: [blinks for a few seconds] What?

GIR: I can magic you to the party!! Woo-hoo! [He waves his wand in their air spastically and sparks go everywhere. One lands near Gaz and starts a small fire on the floor.]

Gaz: [stomping out the fire] Yeah right. Even if I wanted to go…it's…it's… improbable! [The music starts. Gaz smacks herself in the forehead.] Oh no…

"Improbable"

GIR: Improbable!

For a short, noisy Irken to ever pick up a hot date!

Improbable!

For a romance to blossom out of something that is pure hate!

And four brown cows will never be dancing weenies!

Such doom-de-doom and look at my brand new beanie!!

[As he sings that last line, he pulls a beanie-cap out of his head and spins the propeller gleefully.]

Gaz: [speaking] What does THAT have to do with ANYTHING???

[GIR ignores her and keeps singing, flying around her, waving his wand and spraying sparks everywhere.]

GIR: Improbable!! Improbable!!

But this world is full of crazies and me!!

Who see this stuff as easy as can be!

And because we need to move the plot on,

Or I will just keep singing this song,

Improbable things are happening here today!

[Gaz begins singing, and a sort of song/argument ensues.]

Gaz: Improbable!

GIR: Improbable!

Gaz: Improbable!

GIR: Improbable!

Gaz: Improbable!

GIR: Improbable! Improbable!

[The music quiets and GIR flies out through the window. Frustrated, Gaz steps out the back door and into the backyard. The singing stops and normal dialogue is resumed.]

Gaz: [Finds GIR floating in the yard a few feet off the ground] Ok, look – let's say I wanted to go to the ball. How would I get there?

GIR: Um… [taps his wand to his head, then looks over at the cue cards] Oh yeah! I need an apple!

Gaz: An apple?? Don't you mean a pumpkin?

GIR: [shakes his head] Nope! [flies over to a tree in the yard and picks an apple up off the ground below it] This'll work! [he flies back to Gaz and holds it out]

Gaz: Eww… [the apple is all rotten and disgusting looking] This had better be some good magic.

GIR: Watch! [He tosses the apple in the air and points his wand at it. Sparks fly once again and strike the apple. It rolls in the air, glowing, and growing, and sinking back to the ground. By the time it touches the street, it's become a beautiful red convertible Mercedes.]

Gaz: [eyes wide] Wow…

GIR: [beams at her] See? Told ya! Told ya! Told ya! [giggles madly]

Gaz: [eyes reverting back to normal] Ok, so I have a car. But I can't drive.

GIR: Ooh! Ooh! I'll fix it! [he points his wand at a bug that was flying by. The bug stops in mid-air, glowing and growing. When the glowing ceases, it's become Jhonen Vasquez in a medieval chauffeur's outfit.]

Jhonen: [looks around and then down at himself] What the heck???

[Sam pops in from the left side of the screen and jabs him with an electro-spear from her Zim Movie. With a yelp of pain and much censored mutterings, Jhonen marches over to the car and holds open the backseat door, waiting for Gaz to get in. Sam disappears as quickly as she had come.]

GIR: Ok! You're all set!!

Gaz: [looks down at herself] Um…did you forget something?

GIR: What? Oh yeah!! [He points the wand at her and she begins to glow golden. Her rags transform themselves into an elegant black and purple ball gown, and the glowing stops. She looks at herself] Whoa…cool! [She lifts up her dress and the camera zooms in on her glass…combat boots. Gaz grins.] I'll bet I could break a few shins with these, huh?

GIR: Uh-huh! Now go! [He ushers Gaz into the car. Jhonen closes the door after her and takes his seat.] Oh yeah!! You gotta come home before midnight! 'Cuz after that the magic doesn't work all good anymore!! It all goes bye-bye! Just like this, POOF!!

Gaz: [nods] Right. Ok…I guess as I've gotten this far…let's go!!

[Jhonen steps on the gas and the car zooms off. As they pull away, GIR disappears in a cloud of gold dust and the music begins again.]

"Improbable (Reprise)"

Gaz: It's probable!

For a plain rotten apple to become a cool Mercedes!

It's probable!

For that weird flying robot to have been the spawn of Hades!

GIR: [popping up at the side of the car] And songs like this are never quite worth rehearsing!

Gaz: That's why we're stuck here ad-libbing the versing!

Both: It's probable! It's probable! [GIR vanishes again]

Gaz: For the world is full of crazies…

GIR: [appearing next to her inside the car] And ME!!

Gaz: Who see this stuff as easy as can be!

Both: And because we need to move the plot on,

Or we will just keep singing this song,

Improbable things are happening here today!!!

[Cut to a back-up view of the kingdom where we see the car blazing up a cobble-stone path towards the Castle.] [Cut to Commercials.]