Scene 7: [We come back from commercials overlooking the gardens behind the ballroom. For a moment we see Zim and Gaz, who appear to be talking, or rather having an insult contest. Then their image blurs and the camera moves down to focus on Red and Purple, who're hiding behind some bushes, watching them. The music begins…]
"Sister's Rant"
Purple: Why would a fellow want a girl like her?
A girl not even Irken?
Why can't a fellow ever once prefer,
An Irken girl like him. [points at Red]
[They both poke their heads over the bushes.]
Red: There is something strange about her...
Something evil in her grin…
It just makes me wanna pound her!
I'd like to kick her in the shin!
Purple: [mocking shock] Oh! Oh!
[As they sing the chorus, they begin climbing through the bushes, which is no easy task, seeing as each of them is wearing a ridiculously poofy dress.]
Both: Why would a fellow want a runt like her?
So obviously abnormal.
Why can't the moron ever once prefer,
A normal girl like him!
[As they sing the last line of the chorus, Red was trying to pull Purple through a space much too small for his dress. (And they have to point at each other at the last word, too!) Purple pops out and they both go tumbling out of sight, only to reappear a second later, peering over more bushes.]
Purple: Her looks are fantastic, I would think.
But no more fantastic than a mink's is.
Red: Her skill may be agile and…uh, stuff,
But no more impressive than a link's is.
Purple: Her hair is no softer than a fawn's.
Red: Her brain meats are anything but hazy.
Purple: Her grace is no better than a swan's.
Both: [jump up and sing loudly]
So WHY is the moron going crazy??
[They realize they've been too loud and clamp a hand over each other's mouths. They let go and continue singing in more normal voices.]
Oh, why would a fellow want a brat like her?
So undeserving of him.
Why can't a fellow ever once prefer,
A worthy girl like him? [point at each other]
[They've made it past the bushes now and are peering around a large statue/fountain of Prof. Membrane.]
Purple: Something about her really bugs me…
It's girls like her that I despise…
If I could only get her near me…
Than I could poke her in the eyes!
Red: [grins, imagining it] Oh!
Both: Oh, why would a fellow want a runt like her?
A girl not even Irken?
Why can't a fellow ever once prefer,
An Irken girl like him?
[Their voices get louder as they sing last three lines.]
What's the matter with him now?
What's the matter with him now?
What's the matter with him now?!?
[As they hold out the last note, Red realizes someone might hear them and shoves Purple, trying to get him to move. Purple isn't ready for it and trips over his dress and tumbles to the ground, dragging Red with him. They land in yet another confused heap on the floor, Red looking annoyed and Purple looking thoroughly uncomfortable.]
[Cut to Zim and Gaz, who have given up their insult contest for the moment and made their way back into the ballroom. They are heading for the buffet table, when Sam and Membrane cut in between them. Sam steers Zim off in one direction, while Membrane leads Gaz in another.]
Membrane: So…um…I hope that son of mine is behaving himself, miss.
Gaz: Well…as much as can be expected for a spoiled Prince.
Membrane: [not really hearing her] Ah yes…a chip off the old block, eh?
Gaz: Um…not really…I was wondering…how is it he's green and you and the Queen are both normal humans?
Membrane: It's a skin condition. Personally, I hope he grows out of it. [helps himself to a glass of punch] I think he likes you. His mother will be pleased. She wants to marry him off, you know.
Gaz: Likes me?!? Get real! We just spent the last musical number insulting each other.
Membrane: [seemingly preoccupied with his punch] Yes…he's quite a shameless flirter, isn't he?
[Cut to Zim and Sam, who are standing across the room. Zim is watching Gaz talk to Membrane. Sam looks pleased.]
Zim: What is he saying to her? Huh? Huh?
Sam: [shrugs] What does it matter? You said you weren't going to find a bride tonight.
Zim: I never said anything like that, Mother. You assume too much! I was merely curious as to what Father was saying.
Sam: Right. [short pause] She's cute isn't she?
Zim: [still watching Gaz & Membrane, and not really paying attention to what he's saying] Oh I suppose…I mean…er…I didn't notice.
[Cut back to Gaz & Membrane]
Membrane: …and so, that's how I invented the anti-gravity device we use on our carriages today. Fascinating, isn't it?
Gaz: [looking thoroughly bored] Um…yeah. Well, look, it's been fun and all, but I gotta go. [She zips off the screen, leaving Membrane still babbling about his inventions. In her hurry to escape, she knocks Dib over, who had been trying to elude Tak once more.]
Zim: [watching Gaz head back out into the garden in dismay] Where's she going?? [glares up at Sam] You did that on purpose!!
Sam: [looking innocently surprised] Did what??
Zim: You got Father to scare her off!!
Sam: Why would I do that??
[Zim doesn't answer. He takes off after Gaz, trampling over Dib on his way.]
Membrane: [coming up beside Sam] I think she's wonderful.
Sam: Yes, they'll make quite a couple. [notices Dib, the crumpled heap on the floor, and says with concern, pointing at him] Who's that on the floor?
Membrane: Lionel, darling.
Sam: Oh. Ok then. [She takes Membranes arm and they walk off screen. Dib begins to pick himself up off the floor slowly. Then he notices Tak coming towards him and runs off screen as well. Tak gives chase.] [Cut to Commercials.]