written by Phoenix
I do not own Legolas or anyone from LOTR. But, see, if I did, you probably have a pretty good idea of what I'd do to the pretty ones (^_^). Yup, I'd put them in cages and make people pay me to see them. Like a zoo. Oh, and I make no material profit from this.
*
The scream pierced everyone's hearts. Well, everyone who was awake. So, basically, it pierced Frodo's heart. Something horrible, really horrible, had happened.
"Where's Legolas? Is he okay?" Frodo asked, tugging at Aragorn's sleeve impatiently. "I just heard him scream really loudly."
Aragorn, who was snoozing, mumbled something along the lines of, "Maybe Sauron killed him … oh well. Let me sleep now." with that he shifted on to his side and began to doze again. Frodo sighed and ran off to find Boromir. Then he stopped, remembered Boromir was 100% dead, scrapped that idea as a corpse probably wouldn't know too much about the cause of Legolas's scream.
So, instead, Frodo tried to wake Gimli.
"Gimli, Legolas just screamed. I'm worried. Aragorn thinks Sauron killed him!" Frodo waved his arms about hysterically.
"Let me sleep …" Gimli growled.
"But-" Frodo protested, but thought better of it as Gimli grabbed his axe. If Legolas really was dead, there was really no point in him getting his head chopped off about it, was there? He should've guessed that Gimli wasn't a morning person. Or really an any-time-of-day person at that. Unless there was a war going on, in which case he was really happy. Actually, Gimli did seem to cheer up a bit when he had raised his axe just a moment ago, Frodo pondered. But maybe that was more to do with Frodo than war …
"Sam? Sam, wake up!"
"What is it, Master Frodo?" Sam asked, rubbing his eyes sleepily.
"I just heard Legolas scream. I think he's dead!" Frodo hissed dramatically. Silence followed. "Sam?" More silence. "Er, Sam?"
Sam had gone straight back to sleep.
"Sam! Wake up, I said!" Frodo began to shake Sam violently. Sam simply rolled over, whacking Frodo in the face as he did so. Frodo staggered back, stared at his 'friend' (as they mildly put it) for a minute before stamping off in a rare temper.
"Merry? Pippin?"
Pippin woke up before Merry did and stared at Frodo, lids drooping slightly. "What do you want, Frodo?"
"Okay," Frodo began. "Firstly, why the heck are you two sharing a bed? And secondly, Legolas just screamed. I don't know what's happened to him!" Frodo wrung his hands together, his eyes wide.
Merry has just woken up and was blinking at Frodo. Pippin stammered, "Well, we're sharing a bed beacause Merry's bed was too hard. So, er, Legolas screamed, huh? That sounds bad. You should help him."
"I bet Merry's bed wasn't the only thing that was too hard …" Frodo muttered. "Look, I'll just go and ask Gandalf what's wrong …"
"You can't!" Merry chipped in. "He's out. He's been gone since dawn."
"How would you know he's been gone since dawn?" Frodo asked suspiciously, eyeing both hobbits who were looking equally sheepish and avoiding his gaze.
"Because …"
"Well …"
"Er," Pippin answered finally, "We're psychic!"
"I'm going to go and see what I can do to help Legolas," Frodo decided quickly. As he left the bedroom he bumped into none-other than everyone's favourite fake blonde (you can tell he's really dark from his eyebrows), Legolas. He was holding a robe over his face.
"Legolas! I've been so worried! Are you okay?" Frodo chattered excitedly.
Legolas simply shook his head soberly. A sob escaped him.
"Lego-lego? What's wrong?" Frodo questioned, ready to be listen to any problem his friend had. Or any problem his enemies had. Basically any problem at all. Why? Because then he could tell them to push off, he had bigger problems than them and moan about all of HIS problems.
"I … it … it … and … I … " Legolas sniffed, still holding a robe in front of his face. "Why? Why me? I … oh, this is so awful … "
"It can't be that bad, Lego-lego …" Frodo 'sympathised'.
"Oh, but it is …" Legolas sobbed. "I… I got a zit!"