Reunion Chapter 5: Thoughts of the Misunderstood, a dark angel fanfic

Chapter 5

AN: Odd style time. Each little '*' signifies a new Charcter. They each speak a little differently, so it shouldn't be too hard to find out, plus they speak in order (Finn, Trigs, Dragon, Adam, Cree, Frankie.)

I really wish I wasn't such a freak. Sometimes I wonder if anyone out there really understands me, the real me, not the face I out on each day so that my brothers and sisters don't think there's something wrong.

I can't let them down. I'm Finn! I'm supposed to be happy and go-lucky.

I can't believe that she's here. She's right there, sleeping with her baby in the next room. She looks so lovely with her red curls and blue eyes. I love her so much.

I can't let her down. I can't let Frankie down. She depends on me. I'm Trigs, I'm supposed to be all tough and stuff.

It's weird out here with the ordinaries. I'm all alone. All I want is to get into Terminal city and sit with Finn, to be there with him. He'll know what to do.

I can't let him down. I'm Dragon. I can't be scared.

One wrong move. One forgotten word and my cover is blown and Max will die. I can't even let my guard down to sleep. All I can do is sit here and wait for that damned Conclave freak to come back and try to poke around in my head. I've got to keep those thoughts in the back of my head, so they don't slip out.

I can't let them down. Without Max we're all doomed and I can't let that happen. I am Adam. I'm the pariah.

Finn won't speak to me. Trigs doesn't want to see me. Frankie is out killing something. Dragon is god knows where does who knows what and Adam is slowly killing me by not telling me where she it.

I can't let them down. I'm Cree. I'm the one who's supposed to have it all together.

It's been so long. What if she doesn't love me as much as she did. There were so many times we could've been together and weren't. I followed the rules and kept Trigs and I apart.

I can't let her down. I will be what she needs because I need her, but she can't know. I'm Frankie. I don't need anyone.

I always wondered why people don't just accept everyone else. It scares me the way the other X5's look at me. They know I'm different, but they just don't know how different.

I always wonder what the others think of me. A loner, lesbian X5. I wish I could see into their minds and see what I could do to make them all accept me.

I always wondered why the Transhumans hated the ordinaries so much. I think I know now. The fear and loathing is obvious. When they see the barcode, the fear me just for being made in a lab.

I always wondered if I could handle this kind of pressure. Every time I got into a scrape, the others would rescue me. Pressure was not my problem.

I always wondered how Zack did it. He kept all the ones who got out under the radar till about a year ago. He did all that all on his own. He didn't need anyone but himself and a cell phone.

I always wondered how she fell in love with me. She could've had any guard she wanted and she chose to be with me. She wanted me. She fell in love with me, with awkward, weird, strange me.

Sometimes I wish I wasn't the one whom people thought was different.

Sometimes I wish I wasn't the one people pitied

Sometimes I wish I wasn't the one who the ordinaries hated.

Sometimes I wish I wasn't the one with the gift.

Sometimes I wish I wasn't the one the others look to.

Sometimes I wish I wasn't the one who fell in love with her.

There are days I wish I could be Trigs. She's so strong. You never see Trigs falter in her steps. She's always poised and confident. Nothing ever gets under her skin and I wish that could be me.

Sometimes I wish I could be Dragon. He's so amazing. He's strong and loyal. I've never seen him show pain or anguish. He's always been so solid. Nothing ever phases him and I wish that could be me.

Sometimes I wish I could be Adam. She's so empathetic. She's caring and kind. I've never seen her turn anyone who needed her help away. She's always so loving. Nothing ever escapes her and I wish that could be me.

Sometimes I wish I could be Cree. He's so bright. He's smart and quick. I've never seen him without a plan. He's always been a perfect leader. No one ever disrespects him and I wish that could be me.

Sometimes I wish I could be Frankie. She's so loyal. She's true and dependable. I've never seen her do anything that could hurt the ones she loves. She's always so staunch. Nothing could ever get between her and her loved ones and I wish that could be me.

Sometimes I wish I could be Finn. He's so carefree. He's happy and full of life. I've never seen him without a smile on his face. He's always so ecstatic. He's always so joyful to just be alive and I wish that was me.

Sometimes I think I should just end it all.

But I can't, so I go on, looking happy on the outside but inside hurting so badly I want to scream.

But I can't, so I go on, fighting for the one I love because she needs me, even though each day feels like another day in hell if I don't see her.

But I can't, so I go on, trying to find my family, trying to ignore the multiple gunshot wounds the ordinaries gave me.

But I can't, so I go on, pretending I'm someone else in order to save one of my siblings, even though the fear is paralyzing.

But I can't, so I go on, trying to be a leader even though I'm so damned insecure and scared that one day I'll fail them.

But I can't, so I go on, wondering if she loves me, the doubts tearing little holes in the fabric of my soul.

Because I am an X5, and I have a family!