Original Prankster
Bust out on it,
Original Prankster,
Break down on it,
Original Yeah,
Bust out on it,
Original Prankster
You know it stops now,
Stops now,
That's what the main men say…
Original Prankster, By The Offspring.
' Hey Jill! Over here!' yelled the two high pitched voices shrilly to her.
As rounded the corner in her convertible, she matched the excited voices to faces.
Claire in her biker garb was waving enthusiastically at her, wide grin on her petit features, her hands like a vice grip on Leon Kennedy's, whose floppy brown hair was across his forehead, in his normal school boy style.
Bec was smiling broadly, clasping her shoulder bag, a muscular tanned arm around her slim waist. That arm belonged to a Carlos Oliveira, whose velvet brown eyes never left the redheaded girl whom he was holding.
Her gang. Jill climbed out and both girls swamped her with greetings.
Chris who was at the wheel, waved to the two 'babies' as he put it, and yelled greetings to the ' rookie and amigo'.
The babies both waved, one smiling shyly, the other pouting annoyedly. Rookie untangled himself from his baby, and climbed carefully into the back seat behind Chris, arranging his legs precisely.
Amigo kissed his shy baby's hand and leapt over the door into the front seat next to Chris, and immediately turned up the volume on the radio.
With a beep, and a wave, the carload of guys departed, the radio blaring out loudly in the still morning.
Jill's ears filled with the excited chatter of the two younger females, as she took in the Health Farm.
The large silver sign, proclaimed ' The Chambordoe' in copperplate writing, whilst the lavish orchids framed the doorway and neatly trimmed shrubs lined the elegant building.
' Well what do you think?' demanded Claire as she watched Jill take in the building.
' It looks wonderful' assured Jill, a happy smile crawling up her cherub lips.
All musings were interrupted by their host, a beaming West Indian, who was clad in the smart white uniform of the farm.
' From the early arrivals, I'm sure you must be Miss Chambers, Miss Redfield and Mrs Redfield?' she asked, glancing curiously at Jill and Claire, trying to establish a connection.
Bec answered for them, as Claire was too busy smirking at Jill and Jill too embarrassed.
' Yeah, that'll be us!' she informed happily, eager to start the beauty regime.
' Good. You are free to use the facilities of the farm until 12:30 pm, when we break for lunch, and then on till 3:30 pm. Ok?' stated the employee.
' Fine' answered Jill who had collected her wits.
The employee nodded and ushered them into the reception, leaving them to their own devices.
Grasping a well-worn schedule, Claire whispered the final words.
' Let the beautifying begin!'
After they had dropped the girls off at the health farm, the guys discussed what to do.
Lining up the prank was their first priority. But the free time away from their women, distracted them to many other matters…
' Let's toss the old pigskin about' said Leon, rubbing the scuffed skin of his beloved
'Monty'.
' I'm thinking a trip to the park to eye up talent' crooned Carlos as they passed the park, which was full of American Beauties sunning themselves in the wide-open spaces.
' Deal with the prank, then we'll do something' stated the sunglasses wearing leader.
Amigo and Rookie nodded and obeyed the leader. While the rest of the gang had nicknames, ' baby or biker baby' for boyish Claire, ' baby or sensitive soul' for sweet hearted Becca and ' Rookie' for clumsy Kennedy and 'Amigo' for the crooning Spanish man, Chris and Jill gained no name.
It was mainly because they were the older set, the peacemakers, the leaders and on occasion ' The Oldies'. Chris liked it that way. After years of bowing down, he had gained some dignity, even if it was in way of deciding whether to eat at Mc Donald's, or Wendy's.
Chris detoured to Leon's suburban ' Love Nest' and waited whilst Leon went in and collected his stuff.
Then he travelled out to Carlos's 'Bachelor Pad' and followed suit. After these errands they stopped at Chris's ' House' to formulate their plan.
At the 'House', after a brief break for impromptu trips to the bathroom and gathering necessary provisions, they grouped in Chris's living room to start planning.
Chris tapped on the coffee table and waited for silence.
' Okay, now let's go through the checklist to make sure we've got everything' he said glancing at Leon and Carlos.
' Number one: Jockstraps?' asked Chris, trying not to look in their direction.
After a brief rummage through the carrier bag, sprawling assorted prank gear on the floor, Leon waved the jockstraps proudly in the air.
' Okay. Next, large placard?' read Chris, ticking things off the list.
Carlos spread the board out on the floor. He nodded confidently at Chris.
' Super. And lastly paint, and trip switches?' asked Chris.
Leon bundled in the final contents of the bag away. The guys high fived and went off to the park to ogle the American Beauties and give Monty a good spin.
' Hmmm, that feels good' purred a female voice from the massage room.
Jill tried to concentrate on her magazine, but the antics of the massage room were distracting her. She casually glanced down at her hands, which had recently been manicured, the nails pointed like talons, gun trained hands smooth and silky.
' Hmm, harder' purred the voice again.
Claire cocked up and eyebrow at Jill, and then returned to her ' Biker Girl' magazine. Jill's hands dropped to her long legs, which were pale red after feeling the brunt of wax. Jill shuddered and vowed to never to ever wax again.
Bec came bouncing in from the sun beds, her skin glowing and brown.
Claire looked up and surveyed her, flicking up a neatly plucked eyebrow.
' You look good. It's as if somebody skilfully stuck you in a toaster and got you out before you burned' she assessed, nodding her head to the tanned girl.
Jill who was glad for the distraction added her bit too.
' Your glowing so much you could provide the whole world's light source' she said sweetly, pointing at Becca's shiny, rosy cheeks.
' Great line Jill. We can call her Miss Radioactive: First beauty queen who's a nuclear power plant tycoon' agreed Claire.
Bec spread out her arms and smiled cutely.
' Hey, it's Jill's turn next' she said slyly, pulling Jill to her feet.
Jill cleared her throat and was prepared to make an excuse, but Bec who was determined to make the creamy bodied Goddess into a piece of burnt toast, dragged her to her feet and into the tanning room.
Claire chuckled and turned her attention back to her magazine.
Claire studied the Cheap Bikes page, looking for a good deal. Her mind was now freed up ever since she had told Leon. Claire liked the passion of the moment, but the look on his face made her crack up.
He thought that she was…. No he couldn't have! Claire's musings were interrupted by a deep voice.
' Next please' drawled a velvet smooth voice.
Claire dropped her magazine and headed to the door, which was held open by a tanned, muscular arm.
She felt the man's eyes on her back as she entered the room.
' You must be Claire Redfield' he drawled again, looking her up and down and sizing her up with his blue eyes.
Claire pasted a smile on her face, and nodded.
This guy sure knew his rocket science.
He causally waved his hand towards the massaging table and ran his hands through his sculptured hair, and flashed her a smile.
Claire felt slightly sick. Chances were that this guy was a soapy, know it all prick who took pleasure in rubbing up women. But then again he looked as clever as driftwood. This would be a breeze.
The man excused himself, saying something about ' Getting some more oil' which was basically saying that when he came back he wanted Claire semi naked and on the table when he came back.
Claire grimaced and began to strip off as he left the room.
' Okay, a little bit longer' assured Rebecca, watching Jill who had her eyes screwed shut.
' Nearly done yet?' croaked Jill, not daring to open to her eyes. Bec let out a low whistle.
'Jeez, Jillian, you're acting as if it's your execution. Lighten up' she said, turning the heat up on the dial. ' It'll be fine'.
' That's what the executioner said to Marie Antoinette' groaned Jill, as the strong rays hit her.
' Then again, Marie Antoinette's hairdo was permanent…'
Both women laughed.
' Miss Chambers I'm arresting you on the charges of grievous bodily harm' said Jill in her best police drawl.
' What harm? I'm doing you good!' objected Bec from her seating place a save distance away from Jill.
' The harm that after this I'll look permanently like a lobster' groaned Jill. 'Aren't we done yet?' she asked, sounding like a toddler. Bec let out a low grin and waggled her fingers.
'Then again, your HUSBAND can claim the insurance money' assured Bec, with a heavy pronunciation on the word husband.
' Well, DEAR, my HUSBAND will kick your ass from this world' retorted Jill, wriggling slightly. ' Any longer Bec? Someone's bound to pick me up asking me whether I had escaped from the fresh fish aisle' groaned Jill.
' Agggggessss yet' drawled Bec, looking at Jill bemusedly. 'What's with this husband thing anyway?'
' Dunno. I'm guessin' it's one of Carlos's jokes' said Jill, making preparations to move. Bec bared her way.
' No way are you moving Missy. And anyway, Carlos would never do that' said Bec sweetly.
' Ahhh, Rebecca you are under that first love spell: within a week it'll wear off and you'll be like any other sexually repressed teenager who gets all blushy whilst buying condoms' warned Jill.
' No way. Carlos is so caring and sweet; I'll never get tired of him. And for the record I have bought a packet of condoms before, without blushing' quipped Bec, sticking her tongue out. Jill rolled over to let her back toast. She tucked her legs underneath her in a sphinx postion.
' Pray child, when did this feat occur?' asked Jill, basking in the rays like a cat.
Bec squirmed and blushed a little.
' If it involves a bed, I won't ask' said Jill quickly looking at Bec's expression. 'Or the janitor's closet in the RPD'.
Bec swatted Jill's arm playfully and shook her head.
' Nope, it was at a friend's slumber party and I was double dared to buy a packet. I did not blush!' she added quickly.
Jill cocked her head and one of her finely plucked eyebrows flew up.
' And what did you do with them?' she asked smoothly.
' Ok, ok. We put them on the light bulbs and blew one of them up and attached it to her father's motorcycle'.
'Needless to say her father wasn't too happy when he found he couldn't remove the attachment, we'd super glued it on' she said, studying her manicure nails.
' And what exactly was her father's job?' asked Jill curiously.
'He was a bishop' said Bec, giggling from the memory.
Jill, shifted position and gazed in horror at her legs. They hadn't come out the deep brown tan she had expected, they were an angry lobster red.
' Are they meant to be like this?' asked Jill, trying to keep the flicker of worry out of her voice.
Bec waved her arm and said blithely ' They'll tone down and tan soon. Hey, while you tanning, mind if I pop to the sauna?'.
Jill nodded.
' And don't get out of that sun bed, till I come back. You'll look terrible if you come out too soon. And for added security.' Bec said sweetly, locking the sun bed and taking the key.
' I'll expect, when I see you' Jill yelled at Bec, just as she left the room. Bec stopped and grinned and then headed to the sauna room.
'Does this feel okay?' asked Ricky, crooning in his deep Italian accent.
Claire groaned and repeated 'It feels, fine, Ricky'. For the twentieth time.
So much for massaging, the whole time Ricky, placed his hands on her ass and then kneaded it and asking if it felt 'ok'.
Claire was soon to realise that a conversation doesn't necessarily need two people. For the 20 minutes Claire had been in the massaging parlour, she knew enough on this guy to fill several notebooks.
He had told her that he was, a Leo, 24 years old and oh yes, that he was single. His ex wife was a Consultant Anaesthetist and lived in New York with his son.
It struck Claire weird that someone so accomplished should be with a guy like Ricky.
Ricky, who didn't know what the hell politics were, but hey, he knew what the newest brand of hair gel was.
Of course his hair mattered a lot more than the crazy nut that rules this Godforsaken place.
Ricky had so far only knew her name, and Claire hoped it would stay that way.
Claire cringed slightly at the touch of his oily hands on her back and seriously wished she had chosen something else.
' Your skin is soft, Cherie' he crooned again in his Italian accent. Claire hated peepers, but hated stereotypes most of all.
Ricky turned around, and as he did his elbow knocked the tube of massaging oil off the side of the table.
' God damnit!!!!' he yelled in a perfect Californian Drawl. Busted. Then what followed was lead up of cussings, when he suddenly seemed to remember Claire and put on his Italian accent and velvety manner.
Claire wished he would go back to the cussing Californian whom she had known for less than minute but,
She liked a hell of a lot more than the smarmy Italian bastard.
Claire's ears listened out for the lunch bell.
'Head's up Carlos!' yelled Leon, trying to get Carlos's attention, but failing as Monty spiralled down, and hit Carlos hard in the crotch.
Carlos groaned and dropped to the ground. The American Beauty he had been eyeing up, had moved out of sight. The ball bounced into a nearby fountain.
Chris and Leon came jogging up, trying to suppress their grins. They both hauled the injured man up and propped him up on a bench.
' That's what you get for not concentrating!' quipped Leon, waggling his fingers at Carlos, who was still breathing hard.
' She was worth it' he grinned, and rubbed the back of his neck.
Chris looked at him comically.
'Hey man, did you actually talk to her?' he asked jokingly.
Carlos put his hands out in front of him. ' I was gonna, but Monty here landed me a big surprise'
Chris stood up and looked about. The park was littered with numerous scantily clad girls, frying themselves in the sun. There was the blonde on in the halter neck, whom he wouldn't be forgetting about in a hurry. The cute red head, in the dark blue tassel top. Shaken not stirred, ladies.
But no Monty.
' Where'd did ole Monty fly to?' asked Chris, scratching his head.
Leon jumped to his feet and ordered them to look for his old pal.
Before he knew it, Leon had ushered him off to a secluded to spot to look for the ball and he was on his own.
Carlos dropped onto a bench briefly, to give the pain a chance to settle. The park was full of people sunning themselves. Carlos did not mind THAT.
Carlos was certainly not a pervert, but he liked to look at women, and today, well was just another day in the life of Carlos Oliveira, Lady's Man.
A girl in denim hot pants happened by. Her shapely hip gave her walk a slight glide, and Carlo could not keep his eyes of the way they moved. His eyes continued to watch her until…
She ran up and embraced some blonde guy with a baseball cap. Grunting Carlo got to his feet and decided to combine a search for Monty alongside a babe hunt.
He felt a stab of regret as he thought about it.
Becca.
Becca the sweet faced, grey-eyed beauty. Becca was ten times smarter than the bimbos that paraded this park and a million times sweeter.
But then again, his mind reminded him; you're not actually dating her…she's just a friend…a very close friend.
Every time he tried to make contact with another girl, Bec's face kept on appearing.
Her pretty, smiling face.
Get hold of yourself, he told himself fiercely. She's just a girl. She's barely out of her teens.
It was then he found his rap. The girl was dressed unlike the others her flesh covered.
Her wide legged jeans, accentuated her slim waist, and the modest vest top, showed off her tanned arms.
She bent elegantly, holding back her long dark hair as she drank from the water fountain.
She looked up and unconcernedly shook the hair out of her eyes, and bent to pick up a rose that lay in the footpath.
Poetry in motion.
Carlos' heart skipped a beat as he caught sight of her eyes. The glowed like strong conkers, so dark that he could not distinguish the pupils.
Bec's face did not appear.
Carlos walked past her, casually brushed against her, and to his horror he knocked her right back into the water fountain.
He yelped and cursed himself; he'd screwed up major. He helped the girl to her feet, and gave her quick smile. Bad move buddy.
The girl regarded him for a moment and then burst into laughter. Her laugh was sweet, and tinkley and Carlo found himself laughing as well.
' Fourth time that's happened today' she said in a sweet southern accent.
'I woulda thought it to be the twentieth' he said , smiling as she blushed right up to the little curls just above her forehead. A Sweet Southern Belle.
' So other than knock innocent girls into the water fountains, what do you do around here? She asked, shading her face from the sun. Carlos noticed the way her mouth curled up into that sweet smile, and the lilt of her voice.
Bec. Very much the same manners and way. Attitude, too. Carlos shuddered and thought up a quick response.
' Well, of course dares de old 'I'm top scorer and I'm gonna score with you' chuckled Carlos, remembering that well used line.
The girl's mouth tugged up into another unique smile.
' I thought the 'Your father's a thief cause he stole the stars and put them in your eyes' one was still in common use' she added.
'Well in your case, it would be true' said Carlos smoothly, and for added measure he dropped his hand to the back of his neck and allowed a coy grin. Girls loved the sweet side.
'Yup, that one makes the list' declared the girl solemnly.
Carlos stuck out his hand and smiled.
' Well if it helps, I'm Carlos' he offered. The girl took the hand and shook it.
' Phoenix' she said as she shook his hand. Carlos gave the soft palm a gentle squeeze.
'Carlos' she said rolling the name round in her mouth, as if tasting a new sweet. 'And the other half?'
'Oliveira' he answered, looking over her face closely. The name Phoenix suited her, her hair deep red, and the distinguishable eyes, with set nicely against her skin. Her figure was like an elegant bird, full chest tapering down to long, slim legs and a well-toned waist. Sweet.
He quickly took this all in and then asked her a question.
'And the other half?' he countered back to her.
'Gully'.
'Phoenix Gully, nice'. At this point Phoenix grimaced.
'My parents had a bad sense of humor' she confided to Carlos. 'My three other sisters are called Destiny, Desire and Willow' she groaned.
'Phoenix suits you though' Carlos said quickly, reaching out for one of her hands. In the dying sun, Phoenix blushed again up to the little curls on her forehead and looked away. Good going, boy.
'Well thank you Carlos Oliveira' she returned and blushed cutely again, Becca style.
A cold blast of dread overwhelmed Carlos.
Phoenix and Becca. Like two Goddesses. Sooner or later he had to choose.
He was in a numbed silence as he took out his cell phone and recorded Phoenix's number, absently kissed her hand and gazed at her jogging down the path.
It was nearly dusk now, and he saw Chris and Leon tramping down the well-worn path, and catching sight of Carlos kissing a dark girl's hand and watching her jog down the path.
Chris had never been more dismayed in his whole life. Apart from coming face to face with the living dead, this was pretty high on the list.
His flirtatious friend, whom he was certain had paired off with his surrogate sister Becca was openly kissing another girl. Ok, it was on the hand, but t still counted high on the rector scale.
Cue bad teenage soap actors and cheesy music.
Except for this wasn't fake, it was real. What the hell was Carlos playing at?
Chris glanced at Leon and his face read the same thing: Complete and utter dismay.
Gathering up all self confidence, they both marched down to Carlos who had a fake grin on his face, and was casually dusting down the back of his cargo pants.
Before he could stop himself, Chris grabbed hold of Carlos's shoulder roughly and shook him.
'What the hell you playing at?' he asked fiercely, shaking Carlos and looming over him, 5ft 10ins of heavily toned muscle.
Carlos shook his hands free of him, and smoothed down his shirt.
'Nothing, that concerns you' he drawled, rubbing his shoulder.
Leon shook his head sadly and squeezed Monty. Chris banged his fist down on the park bench, and shook his head.
Carlos shrank back a little from Chris, who was in one of the most angry moods he had seen him in. Leon said nothing but stared at him, his baby blue eyes like chips of steel. He rested his back against a tree.
'What about Becca?' Chris demanded furiously, bristling with anger.
'Listen Chris. Calm down. Don't blow off, hear me out' Carlos motioned form them to sit down on the park bench.
Carlos took a deep breath and began.
'That Girl' as you call her is Phoenix Gully. She and I just got chatting' finished Carlos lamely, dreading the question that was going to be asked next.
'What about Becca?' repeated Chris, rubbing his temples and shaking his head.
Carlos risked a glance at Leon, who had not said anything but remained coolly silent.
'Becca and I were never dating' confirmed Carlos, not daring to meet Chris's eyes.
'Hell yeah, Carlos. And I'm not screwing Claire. I saw the way you two were looking at each other at the bowling alley and heard how much fun you had on the nightshift together. And how much she adores you, gazing at you out of her grey eyes, and how your look is almost identical' said Leon softly, fingering Monty's seams.
'Do you want to muck all that up?' asked Chris. 'She is not only sweet, but pretty, kind, and very intelligent. She cares about you a lot Carlos'.
Carlos drummed his fingers impatiently against the bench. Weren't they getting the message at all?
'Becca and I were never dating. She's just my close friend. She would make an ideal match for anyone, and besides, she's barely out of her teens' said Carlos exasperatedly.
'But she's extremely mature for her age. All she's been has contributed to that, and she'll be able to help you' added Leon.
'Also, she's probably miles smarter than your Phoenix Gully. You can tell by the names' added Chris, shaking his head.
Carlos felt anger well up. These were his best friends, who were blowing off one of the most amazing girls he had ever met. They shouldn't be lecturing him, they should be congratulating him.
Or maybe they were just jealous he had scored such a babe.
'For one thing, Phoenix is not blonde. She's dark, and unlike other tarts, she's actually covering her flesh. And just by talking to her manner is sweet calm, intelligent and I will not have you say this about her!' retorted Carlos angrily, storming off, stamping his feet angrily.
Carlos blindly walked off in his anger, leaving the two on the bench speechless.
Chris held his head in his hands and Leon stared dismally at the ground. After a beat of silence, Chris raised his head.
'You know, when I saw them together, I thought Carlos had finally decided to stop gallivanting. He looked happy, and so did she. Strange, I think I thought I knew Carlos' mused Chris.
'Same here. But I'm feeling sorry for Becca now, especially with the dance so near' said Leon.
'Yeah, Becca is my first priority here. She's like my surrogate sister and she's been under my wing ever since the mansion. I don't want to see her hurt' said Chris wistfully.
Leon stood up determinedly.
'Then we're just gonna hafta lessen the blow' he said.
Chris nodded and they slapped hands, and set off in search of the heartbreaker Romeo.
Chicky sez: Hey guys! Well sorry it took so long to put this up, but I've been holed up for a little while.
What dya think of the love triangle? I hope it wasn't too melodramatic, but it's my first tester.
BUM BUM BUM!!!! Plot thickens!!! Find out what happens to the Roving Romeo, his two best friends and the health spa chicks in the next chapter of Come Dance With me!
Bust out on it,
Original Prankster,
Break down on it,
Original Yeah,
Bust out on it,
Original Prankster
You know it stops now,
Stops now,
That's what the main men say…
Original Prankster, By The Offspring.
' Hey Jill! Over here!' yelled the two high pitched voices shrilly to her.
As rounded the corner in her convertible, she matched the excited voices to faces.
Claire in her biker garb was waving enthusiastically at her, wide grin on her petit features, her hands like a vice grip on Leon Kennedy's, whose floppy brown hair was across his forehead, in his normal school boy style.
Bec was smiling broadly, clasping her shoulder bag, a muscular tanned arm around her slim waist. That arm belonged to a Carlos Oliveira, whose velvet brown eyes never left the redheaded girl whom he was holding.
Her gang. Jill climbed out and both girls swamped her with greetings.
Chris who was at the wheel, waved to the two 'babies' as he put it, and yelled greetings to the ' rookie and amigo'.
The babies both waved, one smiling shyly, the other pouting annoyedly. Rookie untangled himself from his baby, and climbed carefully into the back seat behind Chris, arranging his legs precisely.
Amigo kissed his shy baby's hand and leapt over the door into the front seat next to Chris, and immediately turned up the volume on the radio.
With a beep, and a wave, the carload of guys departed, the radio blaring out loudly in the still morning.
Jill's ears filled with the excited chatter of the two younger females, as she took in the Health Farm.
The large silver sign, proclaimed ' The Chambordoe' in copperplate writing, whilst the lavish orchids framed the doorway and neatly trimmed shrubs lined the elegant building.
' Well what do you think?' demanded Claire as she watched Jill take in the building.
' It looks wonderful' assured Jill, a happy smile crawling up her cherub lips.
All musings were interrupted by their host, a beaming West Indian, who was clad in the smart white uniform of the farm.
' From the early arrivals, I'm sure you must be Miss Chambers, Miss Redfield and Mrs Redfield?' she asked, glancing curiously at Jill and Claire, trying to establish a connection.
Bec answered for them, as Claire was too busy smirking at Jill and Jill too embarrassed.
' Yeah, that'll be us!' she informed happily, eager to start the beauty regime.
' Good. You are free to use the facilities of the farm until 12:30 pm, when we break for lunch, and then on till 3:30 pm. Ok?' stated the employee.
' Fine' answered Jill who had collected her wits.
The employee nodded and ushered them into the reception, leaving them to their own devices.
Grasping a well-worn schedule, Claire whispered the final words.
' Let the beautifying begin!'
After they had dropped the girls off at the health farm, the guys discussed what to do.
Lining up the prank was their first priority. But the free time away from their women, distracted them to many other matters…
' Let's toss the old pigskin about' said Leon, rubbing the scuffed skin of his beloved
'Monty'.
' I'm thinking a trip to the park to eye up talent' crooned Carlos as they passed the park, which was full of American Beauties sunning themselves in the wide-open spaces.
' Deal with the prank, then we'll do something' stated the sunglasses wearing leader.
Amigo and Rookie nodded and obeyed the leader. While the rest of the gang had nicknames, ' baby or biker baby' for boyish Claire, ' baby or sensitive soul' for sweet hearted Becca and ' Rookie' for clumsy Kennedy and 'Amigo' for the crooning Spanish man, Chris and Jill gained no name.
It was mainly because they were the older set, the peacemakers, the leaders and on occasion ' The Oldies'. Chris liked it that way. After years of bowing down, he had gained some dignity, even if it was in way of deciding whether to eat at Mc Donald's, or Wendy's.
Chris detoured to Leon's suburban ' Love Nest' and waited whilst Leon went in and collected his stuff.
Then he travelled out to Carlos's 'Bachelor Pad' and followed suit. After these errands they stopped at Chris's ' House' to formulate their plan.
At the 'House', after a brief break for impromptu trips to the bathroom and gathering necessary provisions, they grouped in Chris's living room to start planning.
Chris tapped on the coffee table and waited for silence.
' Okay, now let's go through the checklist to make sure we've got everything' he said glancing at Leon and Carlos.
' Number one: Jockstraps?' asked Chris, trying not to look in their direction.
After a brief rummage through the carrier bag, sprawling assorted prank gear on the floor, Leon waved the jockstraps proudly in the air.
' Okay. Next, large placard?' read Chris, ticking things off the list.
Carlos spread the board out on the floor. He nodded confidently at Chris.
' Super. And lastly paint, and trip switches?' asked Chris.
Leon bundled in the final contents of the bag away. The guys high fived and went off to the park to ogle the American Beauties and give Monty a good spin.
' Hmmm, that feels good' purred a female voice from the massage room.
Jill tried to concentrate on her magazine, but the antics of the massage room were distracting her. She casually glanced down at her hands, which had recently been manicured, the nails pointed like talons, gun trained hands smooth and silky.
' Hmm, harder' purred the voice again.
Claire cocked up and eyebrow at Jill, and then returned to her ' Biker Girl' magazine. Jill's hands dropped to her long legs, which were pale red after feeling the brunt of wax. Jill shuddered and vowed to never to ever wax again.
Bec came bouncing in from the sun beds, her skin glowing and brown.
Claire looked up and surveyed her, flicking up a neatly plucked eyebrow.
' You look good. It's as if somebody skilfully stuck you in a toaster and got you out before you burned' she assessed, nodding her head to the tanned girl.
Jill who was glad for the distraction added her bit too.
' Your glowing so much you could provide the whole world's light source' she said sweetly, pointing at Becca's shiny, rosy cheeks.
' Great line Jill. We can call her Miss Radioactive: First beauty queen who's a nuclear power plant tycoon' agreed Claire.
Bec spread out her arms and smiled cutely.
' Hey, it's Jill's turn next' she said slyly, pulling Jill to her feet.
Jill cleared her throat and was prepared to make an excuse, but Bec who was determined to make the creamy bodied Goddess into a piece of burnt toast, dragged her to her feet and into the tanning room.
Claire chuckled and turned her attention back to her magazine.
Claire studied the Cheap Bikes page, looking for a good deal. Her mind was now freed up ever since she had told Leon. Claire liked the passion of the moment, but the look on his face made her crack up.
He thought that she was…. No he couldn't have! Claire's musings were interrupted by a deep voice.
' Next please' drawled a velvet smooth voice.
Claire dropped her magazine and headed to the door, which was held open by a tanned, muscular arm.
She felt the man's eyes on her back as she entered the room.
' You must be Claire Redfield' he drawled again, looking her up and down and sizing her up with his blue eyes.
Claire pasted a smile on her face, and nodded.
This guy sure knew his rocket science.
He causally waved his hand towards the massaging table and ran his hands through his sculptured hair, and flashed her a smile.
Claire felt slightly sick. Chances were that this guy was a soapy, know it all prick who took pleasure in rubbing up women. But then again he looked as clever as driftwood. This would be a breeze.
The man excused himself, saying something about ' Getting some more oil' which was basically saying that when he came back he wanted Claire semi naked and on the table when he came back.
Claire grimaced and began to strip off as he left the room.
' Okay, a little bit longer' assured Rebecca, watching Jill who had her eyes screwed shut.
' Nearly done yet?' croaked Jill, not daring to open to her eyes. Bec let out a low whistle.
'Jeez, Jillian, you're acting as if it's your execution. Lighten up' she said, turning the heat up on the dial. ' It'll be fine'.
' That's what the executioner said to Marie Antoinette' groaned Jill, as the strong rays hit her.
' Then again, Marie Antoinette's hairdo was permanent…'
Both women laughed.
' Miss Chambers I'm arresting you on the charges of grievous bodily harm' said Jill in her best police drawl.
' What harm? I'm doing you good!' objected Bec from her seating place a save distance away from Jill.
' The harm that after this I'll look permanently like a lobster' groaned Jill. 'Aren't we done yet?' she asked, sounding like a toddler. Bec let out a low grin and waggled her fingers.
'Then again, your HUSBAND can claim the insurance money' assured Bec, with a heavy pronunciation on the word husband.
' Well, DEAR, my HUSBAND will kick your ass from this world' retorted Jill, wriggling slightly. ' Any longer Bec? Someone's bound to pick me up asking me whether I had escaped from the fresh fish aisle' groaned Jill.
' Agggggessss yet' drawled Bec, looking at Jill bemusedly. 'What's with this husband thing anyway?'
' Dunno. I'm guessin' it's one of Carlos's jokes' said Jill, making preparations to move. Bec bared her way.
' No way are you moving Missy. And anyway, Carlos would never do that' said Bec sweetly.
' Ahhh, Rebecca you are under that first love spell: within a week it'll wear off and you'll be like any other sexually repressed teenager who gets all blushy whilst buying condoms' warned Jill.
' No way. Carlos is so caring and sweet; I'll never get tired of him. And for the record I have bought a packet of condoms before, without blushing' quipped Bec, sticking her tongue out. Jill rolled over to let her back toast. She tucked her legs underneath her in a sphinx postion.
' Pray child, when did this feat occur?' asked Jill, basking in the rays like a cat.
Bec squirmed and blushed a little.
' If it involves a bed, I won't ask' said Jill quickly looking at Bec's expression. 'Or the janitor's closet in the RPD'.
Bec swatted Jill's arm playfully and shook her head.
' Nope, it was at a friend's slumber party and I was double dared to buy a packet. I did not blush!' she added quickly.
Jill cocked her head and one of her finely plucked eyebrows flew up.
' And what did you do with them?' she asked smoothly.
' Ok, ok. We put them on the light bulbs and blew one of them up and attached it to her father's motorcycle'.
'Needless to say her father wasn't too happy when he found he couldn't remove the attachment, we'd super glued it on' she said, studying her manicure nails.
' And what exactly was her father's job?' asked Jill curiously.
'He was a bishop' said Bec, giggling from the memory.
Jill, shifted position and gazed in horror at her legs. They hadn't come out the deep brown tan she had expected, they were an angry lobster red.
' Are they meant to be like this?' asked Jill, trying to keep the flicker of worry out of her voice.
Bec waved her arm and said blithely ' They'll tone down and tan soon. Hey, while you tanning, mind if I pop to the sauna?'.
Jill nodded.
' And don't get out of that sun bed, till I come back. You'll look terrible if you come out too soon. And for added security.' Bec said sweetly, locking the sun bed and taking the key.
' I'll expect, when I see you' Jill yelled at Bec, just as she left the room. Bec stopped and grinned and then headed to the sauna room.
'Does this feel okay?' asked Ricky, crooning in his deep Italian accent.
Claire groaned and repeated 'It feels, fine, Ricky'. For the twentieth time.
So much for massaging, the whole time Ricky, placed his hands on her ass and then kneaded it and asking if it felt 'ok'.
Claire was soon to realise that a conversation doesn't necessarily need two people. For the 20 minutes Claire had been in the massaging parlour, she knew enough on this guy to fill several notebooks.
He had told her that he was, a Leo, 24 years old and oh yes, that he was single. His ex wife was a Consultant Anaesthetist and lived in New York with his son.
It struck Claire weird that someone so accomplished should be with a guy like Ricky.
Ricky, who didn't know what the hell politics were, but hey, he knew what the newest brand of hair gel was.
Of course his hair mattered a lot more than the crazy nut that rules this Godforsaken place.
Ricky had so far only knew her name, and Claire hoped it would stay that way.
Claire cringed slightly at the touch of his oily hands on her back and seriously wished she had chosen something else.
' Your skin is soft, Cherie' he crooned again in his Italian accent. Claire hated peepers, but hated stereotypes most of all.
Ricky turned around, and as he did his elbow knocked the tube of massaging oil off the side of the table.
' God damnit!!!!' he yelled in a perfect Californian Drawl. Busted. Then what followed was lead up of cussings, when he suddenly seemed to remember Claire and put on his Italian accent and velvety manner.
Claire wished he would go back to the cussing Californian whom she had known for less than minute but,
She liked a hell of a lot more than the smarmy Italian bastard.
Claire's ears listened out for the lunch bell.
'Head's up Carlos!' yelled Leon, trying to get Carlos's attention, but failing as Monty spiralled down, and hit Carlos hard in the crotch.
Carlos groaned and dropped to the ground. The American Beauty he had been eyeing up, had moved out of sight. The ball bounced into a nearby fountain.
Chris and Leon came jogging up, trying to suppress their grins. They both hauled the injured man up and propped him up on a bench.
' That's what you get for not concentrating!' quipped Leon, waggling his fingers at Carlos, who was still breathing hard.
' She was worth it' he grinned, and rubbed the back of his neck.
Chris looked at him comically.
'Hey man, did you actually talk to her?' he asked jokingly.
Carlos put his hands out in front of him. ' I was gonna, but Monty here landed me a big surprise'
Chris stood up and looked about. The park was littered with numerous scantily clad girls, frying themselves in the sun. There was the blonde on in the halter neck, whom he wouldn't be forgetting about in a hurry. The cute red head, in the dark blue tassel top. Shaken not stirred, ladies.
But no Monty.
' Where'd did ole Monty fly to?' asked Chris, scratching his head.
Leon jumped to his feet and ordered them to look for his old pal.
Before he knew it, Leon had ushered him off to a secluded to spot to look for the ball and he was on his own.
Carlos dropped onto a bench briefly, to give the pain a chance to settle. The park was full of people sunning themselves. Carlos did not mind THAT.
Carlos was certainly not a pervert, but he liked to look at women, and today, well was just another day in the life of Carlos Oliveira, Lady's Man.
A girl in denim hot pants happened by. Her shapely hip gave her walk a slight glide, and Carlo could not keep his eyes of the way they moved. His eyes continued to watch her until…
She ran up and embraced some blonde guy with a baseball cap. Grunting Carlo got to his feet and decided to combine a search for Monty alongside a babe hunt.
He felt a stab of regret as he thought about it.
Becca.
Becca the sweet faced, grey-eyed beauty. Becca was ten times smarter than the bimbos that paraded this park and a million times sweeter.
But then again, his mind reminded him; you're not actually dating her…she's just a friend…a very close friend.
Every time he tried to make contact with another girl, Bec's face kept on appearing.
Her pretty, smiling face.
Get hold of yourself, he told himself fiercely. She's just a girl. She's barely out of her teens.
It was then he found his rap. The girl was dressed unlike the others her flesh covered.
Her wide legged jeans, accentuated her slim waist, and the modest vest top, showed off her tanned arms.
She bent elegantly, holding back her long dark hair as she drank from the water fountain.
She looked up and unconcernedly shook the hair out of her eyes, and bent to pick up a rose that lay in the footpath.
Poetry in motion.
Carlos' heart skipped a beat as he caught sight of her eyes. The glowed like strong conkers, so dark that he could not distinguish the pupils.
Bec's face did not appear.
Carlos walked past her, casually brushed against her, and to his horror he knocked her right back into the water fountain.
He yelped and cursed himself; he'd screwed up major. He helped the girl to her feet, and gave her quick smile. Bad move buddy.
The girl regarded him for a moment and then burst into laughter. Her laugh was sweet, and tinkley and Carlo found himself laughing as well.
' Fourth time that's happened today' she said in a sweet southern accent.
'I woulda thought it to be the twentieth' he said , smiling as she blushed right up to the little curls just above her forehead. A Sweet Southern Belle.
' So other than knock innocent girls into the water fountains, what do you do around here? She asked, shading her face from the sun. Carlos noticed the way her mouth curled up into that sweet smile, and the lilt of her voice.
Bec. Very much the same manners and way. Attitude, too. Carlos shuddered and thought up a quick response.
' Well, of course dares de old 'I'm top scorer and I'm gonna score with you' chuckled Carlos, remembering that well used line.
The girl's mouth tugged up into another unique smile.
' I thought the 'Your father's a thief cause he stole the stars and put them in your eyes' one was still in common use' she added.
'Well in your case, it would be true' said Carlos smoothly, and for added measure he dropped his hand to the back of his neck and allowed a coy grin. Girls loved the sweet side.
'Yup, that one makes the list' declared the girl solemnly.
Carlos stuck out his hand and smiled.
' Well if it helps, I'm Carlos' he offered. The girl took the hand and shook it.
' Phoenix' she said as she shook his hand. Carlos gave the soft palm a gentle squeeze.
'Carlos' she said rolling the name round in her mouth, as if tasting a new sweet. 'And the other half?'
'Oliveira' he answered, looking over her face closely. The name Phoenix suited her, her hair deep red, and the distinguishable eyes, with set nicely against her skin. Her figure was like an elegant bird, full chest tapering down to long, slim legs and a well-toned waist. Sweet.
He quickly took this all in and then asked her a question.
'And the other half?' he countered back to her.
'Gully'.
'Phoenix Gully, nice'. At this point Phoenix grimaced.
'My parents had a bad sense of humor' she confided to Carlos. 'My three other sisters are called Destiny, Desire and Willow' she groaned.
'Phoenix suits you though' Carlos said quickly, reaching out for one of her hands. In the dying sun, Phoenix blushed again up to the little curls on her forehead and looked away. Good going, boy.
'Well thank you Carlos Oliveira' she returned and blushed cutely again, Becca style.
A cold blast of dread overwhelmed Carlos.
Phoenix and Becca. Like two Goddesses. Sooner or later he had to choose.
He was in a numbed silence as he took out his cell phone and recorded Phoenix's number, absently kissed her hand and gazed at her jogging down the path.
It was nearly dusk now, and he saw Chris and Leon tramping down the well-worn path, and catching sight of Carlos kissing a dark girl's hand and watching her jog down the path.
Chris had never been more dismayed in his whole life. Apart from coming face to face with the living dead, this was pretty high on the list.
His flirtatious friend, whom he was certain had paired off with his surrogate sister Becca was openly kissing another girl. Ok, it was on the hand, but t still counted high on the rector scale.
Cue bad teenage soap actors and cheesy music.
Except for this wasn't fake, it was real. What the hell was Carlos playing at?
Chris glanced at Leon and his face read the same thing: Complete and utter dismay.
Gathering up all self confidence, they both marched down to Carlos who had a fake grin on his face, and was casually dusting down the back of his cargo pants.
Before he could stop himself, Chris grabbed hold of Carlos's shoulder roughly and shook him.
'What the hell you playing at?' he asked fiercely, shaking Carlos and looming over him, 5ft 10ins of heavily toned muscle.
Carlos shook his hands free of him, and smoothed down his shirt.
'Nothing, that concerns you' he drawled, rubbing his shoulder.
Leon shook his head sadly and squeezed Monty. Chris banged his fist down on the park bench, and shook his head.
Carlos shrank back a little from Chris, who was in one of the most angry moods he had seen him in. Leon said nothing but stared at him, his baby blue eyes like chips of steel. He rested his back against a tree.
'What about Becca?' Chris demanded furiously, bristling with anger.
'Listen Chris. Calm down. Don't blow off, hear me out' Carlos motioned form them to sit down on the park bench.
Carlos took a deep breath and began.
'That Girl' as you call her is Phoenix Gully. She and I just got chatting' finished Carlos lamely, dreading the question that was going to be asked next.
'What about Becca?' repeated Chris, rubbing his temples and shaking his head.
Carlos risked a glance at Leon, who had not said anything but remained coolly silent.
'Becca and I were never dating' confirmed Carlos, not daring to meet Chris's eyes.
'Hell yeah, Carlos. And I'm not screwing Claire. I saw the way you two were looking at each other at the bowling alley and heard how much fun you had on the nightshift together. And how much she adores you, gazing at you out of her grey eyes, and how your look is almost identical' said Leon softly, fingering Monty's seams.
'Do you want to muck all that up?' asked Chris. 'She is not only sweet, but pretty, kind, and very intelligent. She cares about you a lot Carlos'.
Carlos drummed his fingers impatiently against the bench. Weren't they getting the message at all?
'Becca and I were never dating. She's just my close friend. She would make an ideal match for anyone, and besides, she's barely out of her teens' said Carlos exasperatedly.
'But she's extremely mature for her age. All she's been has contributed to that, and she'll be able to help you' added Leon.
'Also, she's probably miles smarter than your Phoenix Gully. You can tell by the names' added Chris, shaking his head.
Carlos felt anger well up. These were his best friends, who were blowing off one of the most amazing girls he had ever met. They shouldn't be lecturing him, they should be congratulating him.
Or maybe they were just jealous he had scored such a babe.
'For one thing, Phoenix is not blonde. She's dark, and unlike other tarts, she's actually covering her flesh. And just by talking to her manner is sweet calm, intelligent and I will not have you say this about her!' retorted Carlos angrily, storming off, stamping his feet angrily.
Carlos blindly walked off in his anger, leaving the two on the bench speechless.
Chris held his head in his hands and Leon stared dismally at the ground. After a beat of silence, Chris raised his head.
'You know, when I saw them together, I thought Carlos had finally decided to stop gallivanting. He looked happy, and so did she. Strange, I think I thought I knew Carlos' mused Chris.
'Same here. But I'm feeling sorry for Becca now, especially with the dance so near' said Leon.
'Yeah, Becca is my first priority here. She's like my surrogate sister and she's been under my wing ever since the mansion. I don't want to see her hurt' said Chris wistfully.
Leon stood up determinedly.
'Then we're just gonna hafta lessen the blow' he said.
Chris nodded and they slapped hands, and set off in search of the heartbreaker Romeo.
Chicky sez: Hey guys! Well sorry it took so long to put this up, but I've been holed up for a little while.
What dya think of the love triangle? I hope it wasn't too melodramatic, but it's my first tester.
BUM BUM BUM!!!! Plot thickens!!! Find out what happens to the Roving Romeo, his two best friends and the health spa chicks in the next chapter of Come Dance With me!