Jealousy of the Heart
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, or affiliate. I REALLY wish I did though. The Castle and the many traps in it are NOT mine either. damn it. Thank God I DO own the plot. Though, did you know that writing this is VERY depressing, J. K. Rowling is getting paid probably MILLIONS to write with these wonderful characters, and I am sitting here writing only to hope for at least ONE good review from some nice person out there.
Okay, in my opinion, I shouldn't have to warn you about this being SLASH (because I already did), possible ANGST, GORE (not our idiotic past vice president, for you idiot democrats, no flames on that comment.), definite VIOLENCE, I mean, Harry Potter, Voldemort (the ugliest bad guy ever. BTW- have you noticed that a lot of the Final Fantasy bad guys are as good looking as the good guys.?) And Draco Malfoy, just to name a few violent people, oh, who could forget Weasel (LOL)!! Once again this is SLASH, so if you can't respect that I want to put to hot boys in each other's arms. why not??!! One thing I believe STRONGLY is that everybody deserves his or her own opinion; this is just the way I express mine.
Chapter Two: Tears of the World
"Harry, are you sure Sirius gave you this?" Hermione cautiously asked her dark-haired friend.
"Yeah, he put it in my hands, all wrapped up, just like it was." Harry watched the picture disappear behind the cover, as Ron shut it. He wasn't upset, just confused. Then he realized that nobody had told him much of anything about his mother. She could've been a Slytherin, but wouldn't the sorting hat have said something about him being a half Slytherin, half Gryffindor? Or had it?
"Harry? Hello, you Okay?" Ron was waving his hand in front of Harry's face, genuinely worried. "Harry?"
"You know, nobody's said anything about your mom, or her house, or about anything, except, that she had green eyes." Hermione did her best to comfort him, " For all you know she was."
"A sneaky, smelly Slytherin like Malfoy and Pansy." Harry finished, he wasn't sure what to think about this whole thing. It didn't hurt *him* at all, it was just more that he had to think about. He'd already decided that he wouldn't tell Ron and Hermione about his secret, although it tugged at his soul like something terrible. If he wasn't careful, he'd end up insane. Then what good would he be? Probably more than now.
"HARRY!!" Once again Harry was pulled out of his thoughts into the harsher truth.
"I'm going to bed." Harry whispered softly.
"But, Harry, it's only 10:49 on a FRIDAY." Hermione said, realizing the absurdity of her comment
"Harry, don't forget about Hogsmeade tomorrow." Ron shouted, "Hey Hermione, I'm gonna go too now, sorry, maybe you could go join the party that Lav, and Parvati are throwing. Ginny's there."
"Yeah, sure. Make sure Harry's okay, I don't think that picture is it. You catching my drift?"
"uh-hu." Ron grunted, walking off.
Slowly making his way up the stairs, Harry swayed back and forth, nearly in tears. Then, as one tear rolled down his cheek he heard Ron's voice calling after him. Harry took a deep breath, and a wiped the tear away. He couldn't let anyone see him cry. Harry stepped into the dark dorm room, and made his way to his tall, dark oak four-poster bed, and flopped down, grabbing his wand. He put a silence spell on it and pulled the curtains shut, just as Ron walked into the room. Harry started to cry.
Why *me*? Why? I don't even know who I am. I'm not special. I never did anything worthy of respect. I don't even have the face to go with my title. A superhero. That's all I am. That's all people think of me as. Aren't superhero's supposta be lifeless bitches that dedicate their lives to helping others? What if that's *NOT* who I am? What if I just want to be a normal 16 year old? WHY me?
Slowly but surely Harry fell asleep. He didn't know it, but Ron had been spying on him the whole time. Luckily Harry hadn't said anything about his *fate*
"Harry? We're really worried."
"Is this all from the picture?"
"You missed your victory party."
"It was for you"
Harry didn't comprehend the meaningless comforts coming from his friends, just cringing inside at the terrible thoughts consuming him. The last night had been a rough night. He'd woken up three times that before seven, when he decided just to stay up. His scar still was burning. He, naturally, assumed that it was *that* time of the year. Time for Voldemort to come and some mysterious force to protect him. It's just he'd been running out of mysterious forces. Maybe if he was Lucky, one of the Dark spells could protect him, from certain death.
Just then, Hedwig dropped a small note on his plate and gave a loud hoot. Harry absent-mindedly gave her a small handful of breadcrumbs, she hooted and flew off.
"Well.?" His friends anxiously inquired about the note.
Harry glanced at it and saw:
Harry-
Did you like the pictures? Meet Moony, your new 'teacher', and me in the trophy room, we'll be waiting at midnight tonight, don't be late.
--Sirius
Harry ran away before he'd have to explain to Ron and Hermione. The two looked across the table at each other and ran after him.
Harry ran right into the common room and sat down behind the sofa. He whispered to himself, trying to find out a way to avoid telling his friends. He didn't want anyone to feel sorry for him and to risk their lives for *him*. His thoughts began to wonder again. He wondered who his 'teacher' would be. Who could teach dark magic? Would he be strong enough?
"Harry? Where are you?" Hermione was the first one in the common room. She and Ron began to search, as if they were playing Hide-and-seek. Harry realized there'd be no escaping them. So he stood up.
"Hey." Harry said, flopping onto the couch.
"Harry? Seriously, are you okay?" Ron asked.
"Yeah, we can help if something's wrong. You can tell us anything, and it won't change the way we think of you" Hermione, added exactly what he didn't want to hear. That's what SHE thought. Of course it would change you'd pity me. I don't want that.
"No, I'm fine. Thanks for worrying though."
"Harry, we *know* something's wrong." Ron said, "And it's not just about the picture."
"No, I'm FINE! Why would I lie to you?"
"You tell us. Please Harry, we CARE!" Hermione declared in an annoying, 'I- need-to-know voice.'
"For the last time, I AM FINE, nothing's wrong," Harry blatantly lied to his friends.
"Whateeevveeer!!" Hermione sighed in an exasperated voice.
"We never kept secrets before. Why now?" Ron was obviously hurt, "Why can't you tell me?"
"I just can't" Harry whispered in a barely auditable voice. He wasn't sure if Ron had heard him or not, until Ron finally responded.
"It has something to do with Dumbledore, McGonagall, Lupin and Sirius." At this, Harry's head snapped quickly up.
"Don't say his name." Harry snarled violently at Ron, "He's the only one who.never mind." Harry couldn't believe that he'd almost said that.
"Harry, Maybe you shouldn't go to class."
"No, It's the only thing I have left, my only chance to." again Harry'd almost said too much. He began to cry. It wasn't all right. After just a second, Harry stood up as if he hadn't just sobbed in front of his friend, and said, come on. Or we'll be late." Harry knew that wasn't true, they still had an hour till they had to be in the Great Hall. Harry knew his friends cared, but if they were worried now, imagine how they'd be when they *knew* his destiny. His fate. Shit, since when did he believe in fate? The repugnant, homicidal, bastard who killed so many, would he really need to die for his revenge? Where's the point in that? How could *it* be.
Hogsmeade was relaxing for everyone. Hermione and Ron were careful not to ask Harry anything to upset him. It all came and went quickly finally all the Gryffindors were in the common room, excitedly discussing the upcoming Quidditch match, against Ravenclaw. Ginny and her friends were calling Harry over to ask him all about it. Checking his watch, realizing it was only 9:01 walked over to talk. He still had a whole 3 hours until he found out the dark wizard lurking around the school. He began to regret that thought.
"Harry, what's up with you, 'mione and Ron?"
"Yeah! Are you guys *fighting*?"
"You can tell us, what'd Ron do, 's he showing his true colors?" Ginny finally finished off her question, the five fifteen year old girls looked up at him anxiously. He couldn't tell them. Damn, he had to tell someone. He'd die if he didn't. But who wouldn't worry? Maybe talking to Sirius and Lupin would help. Hopefully.
"I can't tell you." Harry finally answered all of them.
"Awww. why not?" They all said in synchrony.
"Harry, please?" Ginny batted her lashes at him, "You can tell me anything."
Since when was Ginny so confident around him? "I still can't tell you anything. Sorry" Harry was becoming edgy around everyone, so he grabbed his books, and carried them to the corner of the room, and sat by Hermione, who instantly turned into the ultimate questioner. The came questions came around and hit hard. Harry finally had enough, without even answering any of her questions he fled to the dorms. He flung himself on t his empty bed, and sat there, thoughts consuming him, until all the other sixth years had gone to bed. He slipped on the invisibility cloak to get out of his room, and quietly snuck out of the painting hole, and off to the trophy room. He didn't know what to expect. He heard two voices. His heart fell when he realized that they were Sirius's and Remus's. Those two couldn't teach him that much. Who was the new man? His new teacher.
Harry took a deep breath and hoped that it was someone he knew.
"Wait. I hear him. It's Harry." Sirius's doglike senses were inescapable. He turned towards the door, "Hey Harry!" Sirius had a huge smile on his pre-maturely aged face.
"Hey there old man!!" Remus joked, but by the look on Harry's face you'd think he was a good thirty years old and was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. Only half of this was true though.
"Harry? Are you okay?" Sirius and Remus both lost their smiles. The young boy looking so sad was too much for them. It reminded them of a dear friend, just like the black haired green-eyed boy in front of them. How could they be so sure that he was the one?
Harry slowly began, forcing himself not to cry, "I think. well, no." He couldn't help any more, he started to cry, for about the fifth time since he'd found out. It wasn't quite what you'd expect from such a strong, honest, nice young man, considered a superhero, as far as Wizards are concerned anyway.
"Harry. It'll be okay, come on, you need your concentration, this, and your cunning are the two ways that you'll be able to beat. *him*. Come on. dry your tears."
"Ok.Kay." Harry choked softly. A glimmer of hope is better than none at all. Never, lose that hope, Harry, never. It's all you have. The light at the end of the tunnel may not always be so bad. Harry laughed slightly when he saw the sad looks of Remus and Sirius.
"Sirius, was my mom a Slytherin?" Harry remembered his question.
"Why do you ask?"
"I saw the picture of my mom and Tom Riddle." Harry said, a little edge in his voice.
"Oh. well I guess you'd find out sooner or later. Yeah, she was, but not a normal Slytherin, she had heart." Remus was the one to answer.
"That explains a lot." Harry sighed, "I understand why the sorting hat had such a hard time sorting me."
"WHAT?!?!" They were both surprised.
"Yeah, I was almost a Slytherin. If Malfoy hadn't insulted Ron and Hermione before asking for my friendship, that's probably where I'd be." Harry explained, "The hat only chose Gryffindor over Slytherin, because I'd told it not to put me there. sorry" Harry added the extra bit at the surprised looks from his friends.
Just then a deep, heavy voice was heard from the doorway, and everyone turned to look at the speaker.
Haha, who could it be.?? Humm. I'm not sure yet(THAT was a lie, you probably know).. I could make it REALLY good, or SUPER bad from here. n-e ways the slash is coming. I'm not sure how yet though..^_^ naturally any tips are accepted, and the people who review, AND have a story, expect a review, *unless* you put something dumb like I hate N'Sync (Someone did that for my '_______' fic, or Harry Potter sux (why'd you read it then?) or just plain old, You Suck. All those comments are so retarded.
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, or affiliate. I REALLY wish I did though. The Castle and the many traps in it are NOT mine either. damn it. Thank God I DO own the plot. Though, did you know that writing this is VERY depressing, J. K. Rowling is getting paid probably MILLIONS to write with these wonderful characters, and I am sitting here writing only to hope for at least ONE good review from some nice person out there.
Okay, in my opinion, I shouldn't have to warn you about this being SLASH (because I already did), possible ANGST, GORE (not our idiotic past vice president, for you idiot democrats, no flames on that comment.), definite VIOLENCE, I mean, Harry Potter, Voldemort (the ugliest bad guy ever. BTW- have you noticed that a lot of the Final Fantasy bad guys are as good looking as the good guys.?) And Draco Malfoy, just to name a few violent people, oh, who could forget Weasel (LOL)!! Once again this is SLASH, so if you can't respect that I want to put to hot boys in each other's arms. why not??!! One thing I believe STRONGLY is that everybody deserves his or her own opinion; this is just the way I express mine.
Chapter Two: Tears of the World
"Harry, are you sure Sirius gave you this?" Hermione cautiously asked her dark-haired friend.
"Yeah, he put it in my hands, all wrapped up, just like it was." Harry watched the picture disappear behind the cover, as Ron shut it. He wasn't upset, just confused. Then he realized that nobody had told him much of anything about his mother. She could've been a Slytherin, but wouldn't the sorting hat have said something about him being a half Slytherin, half Gryffindor? Or had it?
"Harry? Hello, you Okay?" Ron was waving his hand in front of Harry's face, genuinely worried. "Harry?"
"You know, nobody's said anything about your mom, or her house, or about anything, except, that she had green eyes." Hermione did her best to comfort him, " For all you know she was."
"A sneaky, smelly Slytherin like Malfoy and Pansy." Harry finished, he wasn't sure what to think about this whole thing. It didn't hurt *him* at all, it was just more that he had to think about. He'd already decided that he wouldn't tell Ron and Hermione about his secret, although it tugged at his soul like something terrible. If he wasn't careful, he'd end up insane. Then what good would he be? Probably more than now.
"HARRY!!" Once again Harry was pulled out of his thoughts into the harsher truth.
"I'm going to bed." Harry whispered softly.
"But, Harry, it's only 10:49 on a FRIDAY." Hermione said, realizing the absurdity of her comment
"Harry, don't forget about Hogsmeade tomorrow." Ron shouted, "Hey Hermione, I'm gonna go too now, sorry, maybe you could go join the party that Lav, and Parvati are throwing. Ginny's there."
"Yeah, sure. Make sure Harry's okay, I don't think that picture is it. You catching my drift?"
"uh-hu." Ron grunted, walking off.
Slowly making his way up the stairs, Harry swayed back and forth, nearly in tears. Then, as one tear rolled down his cheek he heard Ron's voice calling after him. Harry took a deep breath, and a wiped the tear away. He couldn't let anyone see him cry. Harry stepped into the dark dorm room, and made his way to his tall, dark oak four-poster bed, and flopped down, grabbing his wand. He put a silence spell on it and pulled the curtains shut, just as Ron walked into the room. Harry started to cry.
Why *me*? Why? I don't even know who I am. I'm not special. I never did anything worthy of respect. I don't even have the face to go with my title. A superhero. That's all I am. That's all people think of me as. Aren't superhero's supposta be lifeless bitches that dedicate their lives to helping others? What if that's *NOT* who I am? What if I just want to be a normal 16 year old? WHY me?
Slowly but surely Harry fell asleep. He didn't know it, but Ron had been spying on him the whole time. Luckily Harry hadn't said anything about his *fate*
"Harry? We're really worried."
"Is this all from the picture?"
"You missed your victory party."
"It was for you"
Harry didn't comprehend the meaningless comforts coming from his friends, just cringing inside at the terrible thoughts consuming him. The last night had been a rough night. He'd woken up three times that before seven, when he decided just to stay up. His scar still was burning. He, naturally, assumed that it was *that* time of the year. Time for Voldemort to come and some mysterious force to protect him. It's just he'd been running out of mysterious forces. Maybe if he was Lucky, one of the Dark spells could protect him, from certain death.
Just then, Hedwig dropped a small note on his plate and gave a loud hoot. Harry absent-mindedly gave her a small handful of breadcrumbs, she hooted and flew off.
"Well.?" His friends anxiously inquired about the note.
Harry glanced at it and saw:
Harry-
Did you like the pictures? Meet Moony, your new 'teacher', and me in the trophy room, we'll be waiting at midnight tonight, don't be late.
--Sirius
Harry ran away before he'd have to explain to Ron and Hermione. The two looked across the table at each other and ran after him.
Harry ran right into the common room and sat down behind the sofa. He whispered to himself, trying to find out a way to avoid telling his friends. He didn't want anyone to feel sorry for him and to risk their lives for *him*. His thoughts began to wonder again. He wondered who his 'teacher' would be. Who could teach dark magic? Would he be strong enough?
"Harry? Where are you?" Hermione was the first one in the common room. She and Ron began to search, as if they were playing Hide-and-seek. Harry realized there'd be no escaping them. So he stood up.
"Hey." Harry said, flopping onto the couch.
"Harry? Seriously, are you okay?" Ron asked.
"Yeah, we can help if something's wrong. You can tell us anything, and it won't change the way we think of you" Hermione, added exactly what he didn't want to hear. That's what SHE thought. Of course it would change you'd pity me. I don't want that.
"No, I'm fine. Thanks for worrying though."
"Harry, we *know* something's wrong." Ron said, "And it's not just about the picture."
"No, I'm FINE! Why would I lie to you?"
"You tell us. Please Harry, we CARE!" Hermione declared in an annoying, 'I- need-to-know voice.'
"For the last time, I AM FINE, nothing's wrong," Harry blatantly lied to his friends.
"Whateeevveeer!!" Hermione sighed in an exasperated voice.
"We never kept secrets before. Why now?" Ron was obviously hurt, "Why can't you tell me?"
"I just can't" Harry whispered in a barely auditable voice. He wasn't sure if Ron had heard him or not, until Ron finally responded.
"It has something to do with Dumbledore, McGonagall, Lupin and Sirius." At this, Harry's head snapped quickly up.
"Don't say his name." Harry snarled violently at Ron, "He's the only one who.never mind." Harry couldn't believe that he'd almost said that.
"Harry, Maybe you shouldn't go to class."
"No, It's the only thing I have left, my only chance to." again Harry'd almost said too much. He began to cry. It wasn't all right. After just a second, Harry stood up as if he hadn't just sobbed in front of his friend, and said, come on. Or we'll be late." Harry knew that wasn't true, they still had an hour till they had to be in the Great Hall. Harry knew his friends cared, but if they were worried now, imagine how they'd be when they *knew* his destiny. His fate. Shit, since when did he believe in fate? The repugnant, homicidal, bastard who killed so many, would he really need to die for his revenge? Where's the point in that? How could *it* be.
Hogsmeade was relaxing for everyone. Hermione and Ron were careful not to ask Harry anything to upset him. It all came and went quickly finally all the Gryffindors were in the common room, excitedly discussing the upcoming Quidditch match, against Ravenclaw. Ginny and her friends were calling Harry over to ask him all about it. Checking his watch, realizing it was only 9:01 walked over to talk. He still had a whole 3 hours until he found out the dark wizard lurking around the school. He began to regret that thought.
"Harry, what's up with you, 'mione and Ron?"
"Yeah! Are you guys *fighting*?"
"You can tell us, what'd Ron do, 's he showing his true colors?" Ginny finally finished off her question, the five fifteen year old girls looked up at him anxiously. He couldn't tell them. Damn, he had to tell someone. He'd die if he didn't. But who wouldn't worry? Maybe talking to Sirius and Lupin would help. Hopefully.
"I can't tell you." Harry finally answered all of them.
"Awww. why not?" They all said in synchrony.
"Harry, please?" Ginny batted her lashes at him, "You can tell me anything."
Since when was Ginny so confident around him? "I still can't tell you anything. Sorry" Harry was becoming edgy around everyone, so he grabbed his books, and carried them to the corner of the room, and sat by Hermione, who instantly turned into the ultimate questioner. The came questions came around and hit hard. Harry finally had enough, without even answering any of her questions he fled to the dorms. He flung himself on t his empty bed, and sat there, thoughts consuming him, until all the other sixth years had gone to bed. He slipped on the invisibility cloak to get out of his room, and quietly snuck out of the painting hole, and off to the trophy room. He didn't know what to expect. He heard two voices. His heart fell when he realized that they were Sirius's and Remus's. Those two couldn't teach him that much. Who was the new man? His new teacher.
Harry took a deep breath and hoped that it was someone he knew.
"Wait. I hear him. It's Harry." Sirius's doglike senses were inescapable. He turned towards the door, "Hey Harry!" Sirius had a huge smile on his pre-maturely aged face.
"Hey there old man!!" Remus joked, but by the look on Harry's face you'd think he was a good thirty years old and was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. Only half of this was true though.
"Harry? Are you okay?" Sirius and Remus both lost their smiles. The young boy looking so sad was too much for them. It reminded them of a dear friend, just like the black haired green-eyed boy in front of them. How could they be so sure that he was the one?
Harry slowly began, forcing himself not to cry, "I think. well, no." He couldn't help any more, he started to cry, for about the fifth time since he'd found out. It wasn't quite what you'd expect from such a strong, honest, nice young man, considered a superhero, as far as Wizards are concerned anyway.
"Harry. It'll be okay, come on, you need your concentration, this, and your cunning are the two ways that you'll be able to beat. *him*. Come on. dry your tears."
"Ok.Kay." Harry choked softly. A glimmer of hope is better than none at all. Never, lose that hope, Harry, never. It's all you have. The light at the end of the tunnel may not always be so bad. Harry laughed slightly when he saw the sad looks of Remus and Sirius.
"Sirius, was my mom a Slytherin?" Harry remembered his question.
"Why do you ask?"
"I saw the picture of my mom and Tom Riddle." Harry said, a little edge in his voice.
"Oh. well I guess you'd find out sooner or later. Yeah, she was, but not a normal Slytherin, she had heart." Remus was the one to answer.
"That explains a lot." Harry sighed, "I understand why the sorting hat had such a hard time sorting me."
"WHAT?!?!" They were both surprised.
"Yeah, I was almost a Slytherin. If Malfoy hadn't insulted Ron and Hermione before asking for my friendship, that's probably where I'd be." Harry explained, "The hat only chose Gryffindor over Slytherin, because I'd told it not to put me there. sorry" Harry added the extra bit at the surprised looks from his friends.
Just then a deep, heavy voice was heard from the doorway, and everyone turned to look at the speaker.
Haha, who could it be.?? Humm. I'm not sure yet(THAT was a lie, you probably know).. I could make it REALLY good, or SUPER bad from here. n-e ways the slash is coming. I'm not sure how yet though..^_^ naturally any tips are accepted, and the people who review, AND have a story, expect a review, *unless* you put something dumb like I hate N'Sync (Someone did that for my '_______' fic, or Harry Potter sux (why'd you read it then?) or just plain old, You Suck. All those comments are so retarded.