The plug suit made me look healthy, if a little thin. The material and the patterns on it fattened up my protruding bones and fleshed out the thinned areas, like my arms and legs. Carson had had it remade. It no longer had tiny holes that were growing bigger in places like my toes, heels, knees and hands.
He escorted me to Unit-01, walking slightly ahead of me and to one side. He wore that coat still, but there was a different outfit underneath it. His shoes, slightly scuffed, clanked noisily on the grated walkways. My feet made no sound, and I couldn't feel the grate underneath my toes.
"You remember the plan, right, Precious?" He smiled at me as I climbed up onto the Unit to get into the plug. I only nodded. I didn't want to talk to him. Then I closed the door, turning the handle inside to lock it.
I sat in the seat, bringing the crossbar up to lock into place over my lap. I pressed the activation button and felt the plug twist in. It filled with LCL and the screens changed. The moment that I had a clear view in front of me, I was assaulted mentally.
MEI! YOU'RE BACK!
I winced. "Yes, I'm back. Don't shout."
You're different inside...your mind feels wierd...almost, slippery.
"Yes. Do...do you know anything about what's been going on?"
I know that that man out there is like my father. He was trying to put the others inside me. He doesn't care for the people, just what I can provide him with.
"Trust me, that's all he DOES care about. For now, I will go along with what he says. Tashi says something is going to happen, but he doesn't know what." I paused.
And he loves you.
I felt my face go red. "Yes."
Do you love him?
"How would I know?!"
"Let's go, Precious," Carson interupted. For a moment, I wondered if he had heard me talking to myself. Then I remembered that he couldn't. I turned the outside speakers on.
"Yes," I replied softly.
The catwalk in front of me swung away and I stepped out of the cage. I heard several gasps as I slowly moved over to the launch shaft. There were so many people on the bay floor that I was afraid I was about to step on them.
We launched. When we reached the top of the shaft, I was nearly blinded.
Sunlight.
I could hardly believe it. I covered my eyes and shrieked in pain. The last time I had seen sunlight had been before I was taken to be a part of the work force. My eyes were so used to the darkness and artificial lighting of NERV. How long had it been. Seven years? Eight? Nine? Unit-01's hands came up as well, blocking a lot of the light coming in over the screens.
What had happened to the clouds? To the storm that cast perpetual darkness over the city since before anyone could remember, before the earliest records said?
Carson joined me about an hour later. Unit-01 still had it's hands up, blocking the light. Mine still covered my eyes, and I whimpered in pain. Sunlight...the sky was a clear blue, unlike any blue I had ever seen, except in my dreams. Not a cloud in sight.
Something was thrown over me, blocking the light. I peeked; it was a black cloth or covering of some sort. My eyes still hurt. I could hardly open them to look at anything.
The radio crackled. "Can you come out of there, Mei?" Carson's voice came.
"No," I replied.
"Why not?" He sounded annoyed.
"The light...it's too bright."
"Oh that." Now he was really annoyed. "It's not like we can flip a switch and turn the sun off, Precious. You have to get used to it."
"You can't readjust so many years of total darkness in a hour," I said calmly. I felt just as calm inside...too calm.
"Fine. Be that way. I'll let you know when I'm ready for you to do something."
I shut the radio off. I didn't want to listen to him.
Why are you doing this? Shinji asked.
"Obeying him? Because I have no choice."
Yes, you do.
"If I didn't do it, he would have killed Tashi, Risa, me, and countless others, trying to force them into you. One boy is still unconcious because of you. What did you do?"
Silence.
I don't want them, he said finally. You are the only one I want.
Now I was silent. "Why?" I asked. I could barely hear myself say it.
More silence. This time, he didn't respond. "Answer me, Shinji," I demanded. "I'm not going to do a thing until you tell me why."
I shouldn't tell you now. You won't be able to function with me, I know it. I need your mind open to me still, and if I tell you, it will be closed.
I wrapped my arms around my chest, dropping my head down and letting my hair fall in front of my eyes.
"I'll tell you something," I whispered. "I care about you, Shinji. I always wondered...what you felt, what you thought, about me and the others. Whether or not we were toys for you, or so much more..."
Never toys, Mei. I don't know if I can feel anything in this form except emotions...but they are far away. Like ghosts of myself. And thoughts are all I am left with. It's so hard to explain.
I sat in silence for a long time. "So what do you feel?" I asked finally.
Emotions. I feel...relaxed right now. You are inside of me, where you belong, where no one else should be. I have no reason to be worried...well, except for him.
I nodded. "Carson," I said knowingly.
Yes. Him, and...
The radio crackled again. "We're going to pull off the sheet, Precious," Carson said, smugly. "Are you ready?"
I lifted my head. "Do I have a choice?" I asked. I wish there was a way to at least dim the light down...
As the sheet was lifted, the darkness remained the same. I was surprised. It was dark, yet I could see a lot of people gathered in front of me...a LOT. I had never seen so many people in one place before, not even in the work force. "Why is it dark?" I asked softly. Outside, over my radio, I heard Carson say, "I present Evangelion Unit-01!"
I can control the light intensity. I forgot about that. Shinji sounded sheepish.
My eyes still hurt, even with the darkness I now sat in. I closed them briefly, and then made the Unit stand up straight. I heard people in the crowd either gasp or scream. "But I didn't do anything yet," I protested.
"Precious," Carson said then, "I want to give these kind people a demonstration of your outstanding skills. Would you be so kind as to oblige me?" I really hated his voice. It sent shivers up and down my spine.
I sighed." What should I do?" I asked.
Carson said it was "press coverage".
I hated it.
It took three days for my eyes to stop hurting, and another three for the spots I saw all the time to fade to a point where I could ignore them. Carson's medics were nearby at all times. One of them would always hand me my lunch or dinner and watch as I ate it, glowering if I did not.
I had been locked in that tiny room with the hard bench for at least two weeks. My body weight, already low enough as it was, had sunk even lower because I had refused to eat. One of the medics, a lady I was beginning to like, had explained how important it was that I eat properly. She gave me a list of what I should eat, but I had stared at it blankly, and flatly informed her that I couldn't read. She assigned someone, instead, to make sure that I ate my meals, on time and healthily.
Carson had revamped NERV entirely. For the first time, all hallways were brightly lit, repairs and construction were being done all over the place and it was filled with people. Luckily for Risa, Tashi and me, Carson had allowed us to continue our "duties" as the Eva specialists and pilots.
"Yeah, REAL lucky," Tashi had said sourly as we ate dinner one night.
Tashi was still in charge of the sync tests, which Carson insisted we run daily now. This upset my dietician -- that was the word -- a lot, because they often ran through my meal times. He was also testing other children for their compatibility with the red Eva, and maybe even one of the white ones when it was finished repairs. Tashi was in charge of that too. He had to show all the technicians that Carson had brought in how to repair the Evas properly.
And press people from all over the world were flocking to see it.
Carson had said one night, after insisting that I eat with him, that we were the hottest item in papers and news broadcasts everywhere. NERV and Eva were common topics at many people's dinner tables. The disappearance of the storm over Tokyo-3 had weather and atmospheric specialists baffled, and they struggled and scrambled to explain it.
I never once mentioned Shinji to Carson or anyone associated with him. I know Risa and Tashi kept their knowledge to themselves.
I found myself trusting my doctor more and more. She was a very nice lady, and I began to find it hard to believe that she was an employee of Carson's. Risa trusted her as well, because she was furthering her medical studies. Risa was thrilled to be learning so much. Tashi had a few technicians in his control who he was beginning to delegate more and more responsibility to. I had no one else. Carson kept me in his company whenever I wasn't in tests of any kind, making it hard for Tashi and Risa to see me when they had time, but it also made it hard for the press people who were allowed in certain areas of NERV to see me and get pictures or film clips. He said he wanted to surprise the world, when he finally revealed that Unit-01 was piloted by a 15-year-old girl. So far, all the press had was speculation as to how Eva worked.
I hated him.
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Characters & concept: © 1997-2002 Katsura /\ Evangelion © Gainax