"What?"
Buffy squinted and looked at the customer again. Maybe it was just wishful
thinking on her part, but he did look so much like Xander. She couldn't help
but feel disappointed, but she smiled at him anyway.
"I'm sorry, I must have … did you just say 'my best friend - to go'?" she
asked him curiously.
The young man laughed. "Apparently you're new here. You must be … now that
I recall I don't remember seeing you around before."
"Well, yeah …" Buffy nodded.
"I'm Alex."
Buffy took a step back for a moment. God , they even shared the same name.
"You don't look like a Sally." Alex told her, after peering at her name
tag.
"Excuse me?" She couldn't help but smile.
"I said you don't look like a Sally. You look more like a … Tiffany. Or a
Cordelia."
Buffy raised her eyebrow in amusement at the latter name. "I should hope
not." She tapped at her notepad and looked expectantly at him.
He gave her a look that said 'oh', and continued. "You see, I mean, I
usually come here at night, so probably you wouldn't know me even if you
*weren't* new, but the people that *do* know me know that my 'best friend'
is a bacon-lettuce-tomato sandwich, with mayonnaise. Lots of it."
Buffy nodded in understanding, writing down his order. "That would make a
whole lot more sense that what I thought you said."
'What's a Xander anyway?"
"What?"
"A Xander. I believed you mentioned it a few minutes earlier."
Buffy seemed surprised that he did not realise it was a detachment from his
first name, but she shook this feeling aside and tried to think of how to
answer the question. "Well … your best friend is a sandwich … mine's a
Xander. At least it was. Until recently. You know what, forget about it."
She decided that aimless rambling was going to get her nowhere, and it was
best if she just got his order.
"You look like you're going through a rough spot."
"That's my life. One big gigantic rough spot." Buffy sighed. "If there was
a prize for Most Screwed Up, I would be the winner, *and* the first-runner
up."
"I've been there." Alex put a finger on his lips, and gave her another
smile. "And the one thing I've learnt is that things are never as bad as
they look. Half the time you're fretting over nothing. In fact, my mantra is
'To Hell With It'."
"If only it were that easy."
"It is. If you try." He got up. "Look, maybe what you need is a break. How
about I take you out to dinner sometime?"
Buffy looked down. "I'm not seeing anybody right now. Sorry."
He looked disappointed, but it didn't seem to bother him. "That's all
right. I understand. But if you change your mind … I'll be right here. Every
night. With my best friend."
"Don't you ever get sick of eating the same thing?" Buffy asked.
"I don't think you can get sick of anything you love."
Buffy just smiled in response and walked to the counter to get his order.
She tore of the front page of her note pad and passed it to the cook and
took a seat. A few minutes later Miranda walked past carrying an empty tray.
She set it down on the counter and sat opposite Buffy.
"I see you met Alex Kingsley," Miranda commented as Buffy poured herself
another cup of coffee.
"Yeah, so?"
"Oh… nothing…." Miranda replied with artificial apathy.
"Don't you 'oh nothing' me. I know what you're thinking. And forget about
it. I'm not seeing anyone right now." Buffy added a packet of sugar to her
coffee and stirred it.
"Why not?"
"You wouldn't understand. I'm going through a lot right now. I think the
last thing I want is another complicated relationship to mess up my head and
drive me insane."
"Bad break-up?"
"Well, I wouldn't call it a break-up," Buffy answered after much pondering,
"Because there wasn't really a relationship to break-up anyway. It's just …
it's so…"
"Confusing?"
"Yes!"
"That's love, my dear." Miranda got up. "And looks like we've got another
customer."
* * *
Buffy looked at the cracked mirror as she silently combed her hair. Her
apartment wasn't the best place to live in, but at least it was something. A
strange noise rumbled from upstairs but she paid no attention to it. She was
used to it.
I miss Xander. The thought ran through her mind repeatedly. She felt so
frustrated that she couldn't get it out of her mind, that she couldn't get
*him* out of her mind. Any sane person would have gone back home and melt in
his arms, but she had to be the confused little vampire slayer.
She couldn't help but think that she made the wrong move, running away too
fast - not knowing how he felt … not waiting to see how she felt. Or maybe
what worried her was that she made the wrong move from the start - by
taking their relationship one step further , by blurring the line between
friendship and … love.
She had tried to call him, but every time she picked up the receiver her
hands would shake and she would end up slamming it down. She had tried to
write him, but the paper would always remain blank at the end of the day.
Sometimes she would spend hours just sitting alone, sitting on her bed,
thinking about what was so wrong about being with Xander … and the thing
that scared her the most was that she didn't know. He could be good for her
- he *is* good for her. If everything about him was wonderful, then why did
she feel so scared?
She couldn't find an answer.
Buffy squinted and looked at the customer again. Maybe it was just wishful
thinking on her part, but he did look so much like Xander. She couldn't help
but feel disappointed, but she smiled at him anyway.
"I'm sorry, I must have … did you just say 'my best friend - to go'?" she
asked him curiously.
The young man laughed. "Apparently you're new here. You must be … now that
I recall I don't remember seeing you around before."
"Well, yeah …" Buffy nodded.
"I'm Alex."
Buffy took a step back for a moment. God , they even shared the same name.
"You don't look like a Sally." Alex told her, after peering at her name
tag.
"Excuse me?" She couldn't help but smile.
"I said you don't look like a Sally. You look more like a … Tiffany. Or a
Cordelia."
Buffy raised her eyebrow in amusement at the latter name. "I should hope
not." She tapped at her notepad and looked expectantly at him.
He gave her a look that said 'oh', and continued. "You see, I mean, I
usually come here at night, so probably you wouldn't know me even if you
*weren't* new, but the people that *do* know me know that my 'best friend'
is a bacon-lettuce-tomato sandwich, with mayonnaise. Lots of it."
Buffy nodded in understanding, writing down his order. "That would make a
whole lot more sense that what I thought you said."
'What's a Xander anyway?"
"What?"
"A Xander. I believed you mentioned it a few minutes earlier."
Buffy seemed surprised that he did not realise it was a detachment from his
first name, but she shook this feeling aside and tried to think of how to
answer the question. "Well … your best friend is a sandwich … mine's a
Xander. At least it was. Until recently. You know what, forget about it."
She decided that aimless rambling was going to get her nowhere, and it was
best if she just got his order.
"You look like you're going through a rough spot."
"That's my life. One big gigantic rough spot." Buffy sighed. "If there was
a prize for Most Screwed Up, I would be the winner, *and* the first-runner
up."
"I've been there." Alex put a finger on his lips, and gave her another
smile. "And the one thing I've learnt is that things are never as bad as
they look. Half the time you're fretting over nothing. In fact, my mantra is
'To Hell With It'."
"If only it were that easy."
"It is. If you try." He got up. "Look, maybe what you need is a break. How
about I take you out to dinner sometime?"
Buffy looked down. "I'm not seeing anybody right now. Sorry."
He looked disappointed, but it didn't seem to bother him. "That's all
right. I understand. But if you change your mind … I'll be right here. Every
night. With my best friend."
"Don't you ever get sick of eating the same thing?" Buffy asked.
"I don't think you can get sick of anything you love."
Buffy just smiled in response and walked to the counter to get his order.
She tore of the front page of her note pad and passed it to the cook and
took a seat. A few minutes later Miranda walked past carrying an empty tray.
She set it down on the counter and sat opposite Buffy.
"I see you met Alex Kingsley," Miranda commented as Buffy poured herself
another cup of coffee.
"Yeah, so?"
"Oh… nothing…." Miranda replied with artificial apathy.
"Don't you 'oh nothing' me. I know what you're thinking. And forget about
it. I'm not seeing anyone right now." Buffy added a packet of sugar to her
coffee and stirred it.
"Why not?"
"You wouldn't understand. I'm going through a lot right now. I think the
last thing I want is another complicated relationship to mess up my head and
drive me insane."
"Bad break-up?"
"Well, I wouldn't call it a break-up," Buffy answered after much pondering,
"Because there wasn't really a relationship to break-up anyway. It's just …
it's so…"
"Confusing?"
"Yes!"
"That's love, my dear." Miranda got up. "And looks like we've got another
customer."
* * *
Buffy looked at the cracked mirror as she silently combed her hair. Her
apartment wasn't the best place to live in, but at least it was something. A
strange noise rumbled from upstairs but she paid no attention to it. She was
used to it.
I miss Xander. The thought ran through her mind repeatedly. She felt so
frustrated that she couldn't get it out of her mind, that she couldn't get
*him* out of her mind. Any sane person would have gone back home and melt in
his arms, but she had to be the confused little vampire slayer.
She couldn't help but think that she made the wrong move, running away too
fast - not knowing how he felt … not waiting to see how she felt. Or maybe
what worried her was that she made the wrong move from the start - by
taking their relationship one step further , by blurring the line between
friendship and … love.
She had tried to call him, but every time she picked up the receiver her
hands would shake and she would end up slamming it down. She had tried to
write him, but the paper would always remain blank at the end of the day.
Sometimes she would spend hours just sitting alone, sitting on her bed,
thinking about what was so wrong about being with Xander … and the thing
that scared her the most was that she didn't know. He could be good for her
- he *is* good for her. If everything about him was wonderful, then why did
she feel so scared?
She couldn't find an answer.