ELEVEN (EPILOGUE)
"Buffy… eh." Xander put his hand behind his head and scratched it
nervously. "Just … just went for a bit of… grocery shopping. Sorry, Joyce,
there wasn't any low-fat milk left."
"I didn't know it took you two weeks to get milk," said Buffy.
"I got caught in the traffic."
"Oh, I have a sandwich in the kitchen," announced Joyce suddenly and got
up. "I guess I'd better go eat that. Now. In the kitchen." She walked away
and gave Buffy and Xander a sideways glance before entering the kitchen.
An uncomfortable silence ensued. Buffy decided that it was up to her to
initiate a conversation. "So, Xander, what's up?"
What's up? Buffy repeated the words in her mind. Stupid! Stupid! Couldn't
you think of something so lame?
"Nothing much," came the equally lame answer.
Xander took a step closer to her and then stopped. He laughed nervously.
"You know, Buffy… all those things I said earlier, I didn't…"
"Stop doing that."
"Stop doing what?"
"What you always do. Apologize when you've done nothing wrong," Buffy said.
"I deserved it. Every bit of it. I haven't exactly been the nicest person…
especially to you. I'm sorry."
"No, no... I've been thinking about what I said and … well, I was so mean,
and I didn't…"
"It's okay," she answered. "It should be me apologizing anyways."
"I had no right to say those things…"
"Could you just stop it?" Buffy asked. "I don't want to spend the whole day
arguing over who was wrong. I just want to… I just want us to get past it."
"And go where?"
"I don't know," she replied honestly. She paused. "So, you never really
left, huh."
"Yeah," he replied shyly. "You know, just… checking on you and stuff. But
not in a stalker way."
"I think it's sweet."
"Well… thanks." Xander blushed a little and turned away so Buffy couldn't
see it. "But I'm not exactly proud of myself… what I said…"
"Xander…" warned Buffy. "Enough about that. Can't you just accept the fact
that you're … great."
Xander looked down and said nothing for a while. "Yeah, but obviously not
as great as some people."
Buffy looked puzzled. "What do you mean?"
"Oh, nobody…" Xander looked at her. "Just some hunky guy decked out in
leather pants that are way too tight."
"Alex?"
"So that's his name," Xander mumbled. "Not bad."
"He's just a friend," Buffy explained, "That's all. We just went for a
movie and … so I did see you last night."
Xander nodded guiltily.
"And at the restaurant?"
Xander confirmed this with another guilty nod.
"And I thought I was going crazy."
"I thought you were too. I mean… leather pants?"
"He doesn't dress like that usually."
There was another long pause before any more words were exchanged between
them. Xander bit his lower lip. "So… what brings you back here, anyways."
"Actually," said Buffy, "You."
"Me?"
"I just wanted to see you again," said Buffy slowly, "I mean, I didn't
exactly have the fondest of memories of the last time we spoke."
"I thought we weren't going to talk about that anymore."
"You can't talk about it. I can," said Buffy. "I have to. Xander, I admit -
everything you said about me that day was true. There's no excuse for the
way I've treated you all these years. I… just took you for granted… and I
guess I shouldn't have done that."
Xander just looked at her as she stood up. "And all those things I told you
… I was lying."
"Huh?"
"I was just afraid. Of you… of us. I was just so afraid of losing you, I
didn't want to do anything to risk that."
"You could never lose me."
"I know." She took a step closer to him and smiled. "That's what I came
back to tell you. That, and one more thing."
"What's that?"
She grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and brought her lips to his.
They shared a long, passionate kiss, and broke off after a considerably long
span of time without oxygen. Xander gave a small gasp of surprise after they
were done, and Buffy wrapped her arms around him. They said nothing for a
long while, just looking into each other's eyes.
"So," Xander asked, "Where are we now? Us?"
"Where would you like us to be?"
"Nowhere," said Xander. "I mean… not in that whole negative nowhere not a
chance kind of thing. I think … we've gone through so much… I think we
should start over. As friends. And see where that road takes us… and
hopefully it'll lead us back here. And then it'll be perfect … beginning
from end."
Buffy gave him a small smile. "I'd like that." They pulled apart.
"Good." Xander grinned at her. "I heard there's a pretty good movie showing
tonight. Want to go?"
"Absolutely."
"Pick you up at eight?"
"Seven."
Xander laughed. "All right."
Joyce watched the two of them from the kitchen, and she smiled.
END
"Cardboard masks of all the people I've been
Thrown out with all the rusted, tangled, dented
God Damned miseries
You could say I'm hard to hold
But if you knew me you'd know..."
- Jann Arden , 'Good Mother'
"Buffy… eh." Xander put his hand behind his head and scratched it
nervously. "Just … just went for a bit of… grocery shopping. Sorry, Joyce,
there wasn't any low-fat milk left."
"I didn't know it took you two weeks to get milk," said Buffy.
"I got caught in the traffic."
"Oh, I have a sandwich in the kitchen," announced Joyce suddenly and got
up. "I guess I'd better go eat that. Now. In the kitchen." She walked away
and gave Buffy and Xander a sideways glance before entering the kitchen.
An uncomfortable silence ensued. Buffy decided that it was up to her to
initiate a conversation. "So, Xander, what's up?"
What's up? Buffy repeated the words in her mind. Stupid! Stupid! Couldn't
you think of something so lame?
"Nothing much," came the equally lame answer.
Xander took a step closer to her and then stopped. He laughed nervously.
"You know, Buffy… all those things I said earlier, I didn't…"
"Stop doing that."
"Stop doing what?"
"What you always do. Apologize when you've done nothing wrong," Buffy said.
"I deserved it. Every bit of it. I haven't exactly been the nicest person…
especially to you. I'm sorry."
"No, no... I've been thinking about what I said and … well, I was so mean,
and I didn't…"
"It's okay," she answered. "It should be me apologizing anyways."
"I had no right to say those things…"
"Could you just stop it?" Buffy asked. "I don't want to spend the whole day
arguing over who was wrong. I just want to… I just want us to get past it."
"And go where?"
"I don't know," she replied honestly. She paused. "So, you never really
left, huh."
"Yeah," he replied shyly. "You know, just… checking on you and stuff. But
not in a stalker way."
"I think it's sweet."
"Well… thanks." Xander blushed a little and turned away so Buffy couldn't
see it. "But I'm not exactly proud of myself… what I said…"
"Xander…" warned Buffy. "Enough about that. Can't you just accept the fact
that you're … great."
Xander looked down and said nothing for a while. "Yeah, but obviously not
as great as some people."
Buffy looked puzzled. "What do you mean?"
"Oh, nobody…" Xander looked at her. "Just some hunky guy decked out in
leather pants that are way too tight."
"Alex?"
"So that's his name," Xander mumbled. "Not bad."
"He's just a friend," Buffy explained, "That's all. We just went for a
movie and … so I did see you last night."
Xander nodded guiltily.
"And at the restaurant?"
Xander confirmed this with another guilty nod.
"And I thought I was going crazy."
"I thought you were too. I mean… leather pants?"
"He doesn't dress like that usually."
There was another long pause before any more words were exchanged between
them. Xander bit his lower lip. "So… what brings you back here, anyways."
"Actually," said Buffy, "You."
"Me?"
"I just wanted to see you again," said Buffy slowly, "I mean, I didn't
exactly have the fondest of memories of the last time we spoke."
"I thought we weren't going to talk about that anymore."
"You can't talk about it. I can," said Buffy. "I have to. Xander, I admit -
everything you said about me that day was true. There's no excuse for the
way I've treated you all these years. I… just took you for granted… and I
guess I shouldn't have done that."
Xander just looked at her as she stood up. "And all those things I told you
… I was lying."
"Huh?"
"I was just afraid. Of you… of us. I was just so afraid of losing you, I
didn't want to do anything to risk that."
"You could never lose me."
"I know." She took a step closer to him and smiled. "That's what I came
back to tell you. That, and one more thing."
"What's that?"
She grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and brought her lips to his.
They shared a long, passionate kiss, and broke off after a considerably long
span of time without oxygen. Xander gave a small gasp of surprise after they
were done, and Buffy wrapped her arms around him. They said nothing for a
long while, just looking into each other's eyes.
"So," Xander asked, "Where are we now? Us?"
"Where would you like us to be?"
"Nowhere," said Xander. "I mean… not in that whole negative nowhere not a
chance kind of thing. I think … we've gone through so much… I think we
should start over. As friends. And see where that road takes us… and
hopefully it'll lead us back here. And then it'll be perfect … beginning
from end."
Buffy gave him a small smile. "I'd like that." They pulled apart.
"Good." Xander grinned at her. "I heard there's a pretty good movie showing
tonight. Want to go?"
"Absolutely."
"Pick you up at eight?"
"Seven."
Xander laughed. "All right."
Joyce watched the two of them from the kitchen, and she smiled.
END
"Cardboard masks of all the people I've been
Thrown out with all the rusted, tangled, dented
God Damned miseries
You could say I'm hard to hold
But if you knew me you'd know..."
- Jann Arden , 'Good Mother'