Disclaimer: I do not own DBZ or any characters on the show. So don't sue me, you wouldn't get much anyway.

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The sun beat down heavily on my face, sweat rolling in what felt like

sheets down into my eyes. "Why me?" I sighed, stopping on the

sand. "I can't believe that I actually wanted to come to this planet.

I'm all alone in this...place...where nobody cares about me." I was

so frustrated and it'd been so long since I'd seen another living

thing I would've welcomed the sight of Yamcha. The very thought of

his name irritated me so much that I couldn't stand still, so I

walked on even faster than I had before. About then I swore I could

hear yelling up ahead...and I was also on solid ground again. I tried

for a moment to blame my situation on Yamcha, but again I found

myself extremely agitated. The yelling was at last distinct...it was

Gohan! I was so overjoyed at hearing his yell that I decided not to

kill he and Krillin both for leaving me alone to rot.

I grinned broadly and ran towards the voice.

"Dende!" he yelled. Hmm....the little Namekian boy...I wondered what

had happened.

"Krillin! Gohan!" I called. Krillin turned and smiled at me.

"Bulma!" Gohan replied happily.

"Get over here, Bulma, and shhhhhh!" Krillin scolded.

I was just about to change my mind about sparing Krillin, but I then

saw why he'd silenced me.

Only fifty yards away, Vegeta and Frieza were in a deadlock. Their

arms were locked together, each trying to keep the other at a safe

distance so that no damage could be done.

Frieza looked pretty upset. Then I noticed something that I had tried

to ignore on a couple previous occasions...Vegeta. The physical force

on his arms made the muscles really stand out. I felt myself slipping

off into a daydream. "Oh..wow..." I said rather dazedly. Gohan nodded.

"Yeah, it is pretty crazy. So far, Vegeta hasn't gotten hit yet, but

then again he and Frieza have only been fighting a minute or two."

Still in the dazed state, I shook my head slowly. "No, no,

Gohan...not the fighting." My subconscious tried to snap me out of

it, but I was so overwhelmed at seeing a man with a body like that, I

couldn't come out of it. "Look at the muscles on Vegeta's

arms...whoa..."

Krillin rolled his eyes. "Oh, boy. Here she goes again." Had I been

in this reality I would've hit him, but for now he was safe.

A couple moments later I became aware that Frieza was staring at me.

I snapped out of my daydream and looked at the guy that even Goku was

afraid of, they said. He looked pretty stupid to me, with his jaw

dropped down and his eyes all bulged out. But if I was Goku and

Frieza looked at me like that, I'd have been scared too.

My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of Vegeta's laughter. The

sound of it sent a small shiver up my spine and a small smile to my

lips. My reaction shocked me.

"Yes, Frieza, she is quite a bit better-looking than your, ah, friend

Zarbon...I can see why you're shocked." I did a mental double-take

just then. My face was getting red, I could tell, but I forced myself

to calm down. The wheels started turning...I could really make use of

this situation.

Frieza closed his mouth, finally, and glared back at Vegeta.

"Oh, really, monkey-boy, what would you know, you tail-less little

cretin?"

I figured Vegeta would kill him for that, but he just laughed.

"Obviously a good deal more than you, Frieza."

Frieza rolled his eyes. "You idiot! She wouldn't fall for you if

you..." Vegeta's fist slammed into Frieza's face. I enjoyed the

crunching sound, but I would've liked to hear the end of Frieza's

comment.

Frieza rubbed his jaw, but he was still smiling. "Well, my insecure

friend, if you don't believe what I'm telling you, maybe it'll sink in

better if I show you." Vegeta's eyes widened with horror.

Frieza grabbed a tiny zipper under his chin and pulled it. I locked

my gaze on Vegeta, hoping that whatever Frieza was about to become

was tolerable.

I could tell that Frieza was done by the expression on Vegeta's face.

He didn't look too sick, so I risked a glance at Frieza.

I was happily surprised at what I saw. Frieza was pretty cut, with a

nice tan, beautiful green eyes and short spiky red hair. He wore a

tight black shirt and loose black pants that were held up with a

silver-buckled black leather belt.

Frieza smiled at me, showing off his perfect white teeth, and then

glared angrily at Vegeta.

"Well, Frieza, I certainly hope you're in a real good mood. After

all, you can only get so depressed.." And with that, Vegeta pulled

his armor off over his head, winked at me, and then pulled off his

undershirt.

I think that the temperature must've gone up about twenty degrees

just then, as I found myself craving a giant glass of water...among

other things...

I began to walk slowly over towards the two men, my subconscious

screaming at me to stop right where I was. But I just couldn't

resist. I stopped about a foot from Vegeta and prodded his abs with

my right index finger. There was absolutely no give. Frieza coughed

impatiently. To make it all seem fair, I walked to Frieza also and

prodded his abs with the same finger. I didn't feel any give either,

but I couldn't be as sure with the fabric of his shirt in the way.

As I backed up, thinking the whole time, Frieza chuckled and pulled

his shirt off.

"Sorry, Prince, but I have to do this. I'm much more powerful than

you, and also much better-looking. So of course the girl will take

me, and you will run off crying to your dead mommy with your little

monkey-tail between your legs. Oh, dear, I forgot...you don't have a

tail any longer." Vegeta bared his teeth. "It seems, however, that

you still don't understand these simple truths. Maybe it'll dawn on

you someday."

Frieza grinned pridefully at me and began to undo his belt.

I closed my eyes and prayed silently that he'd surprise me as nicely

as he had before. And if he didn't, I prayed that I wouldn't laugh. I

imagined that even in this state, Frieza still had a massive power

reading. And I knew that I didn't.

Frieza laughed, ending my plea. I opened my eyes slowly and looked at

him. He was wearing purple Spandex shorts, and it soon became obvious

to me that an asexual can't just change their mind at any time they

please. I stopped the laugh that tried to burst out right then. But I

forced myself to look impressed. If Frieza became enraged for any

reason, I might just find myself dead. I took a step toward Frieza

and pressed my right index finger into his thigh. That's a real

shame, I thought. The thigh wasn't the problem at all. I smiled

inwardly at the wonders of being beautiful.

My reverie was ended abruptly by Vegeta's laughter. "Well I hope

you're in a real good mood, Frieza. After all, you can only get so

depressed."

Frieza glared at Vegeta. The utter unmasked hatred in Frieza's stare

was incredible.

Vegeta simply shrugged at hooked his thumbs in his pants. I mustered

up all of my willpower to keep myself from passing out, not to click my heels and to

never be without water again. My mouth felt like the desert I'd been

in a while ago, and my desperate swallow did absolutely nothing to

help.

He struggled for a moment, but just before I could volunteer my help,

he tugged sharply and his pants tore off. I felt so incredibly

lightheaded that I knew I wouldn't be standing much longer. I felt

myself starting to fall but just when I figured I'd hit, I felt

Vegeta's hand on my shoulder steadying me. It helped, but not too

much. My shoulder was practically burning, and my heart felt next-to-

exploding.

Frieza was screaming bloody murder that Vegeta was cheating. Somehow

I felt that the rules had been announced when I hadn't been paying

attention. I was about to tell Frieza to shut up, but before I could,

Vegeta spoke.

His voice shook a bit, but he was sure a lot calmer than I was. "Why,

Frieza, I'm shocked! Certainly you wouldn't want the woman to pass

out, now would you?" Oh, no, I thought, closing my eyes, wouldn't

want that to happen. If I fell down I'd be sure to take you with me

and then Frieza would really have something to cry 'foul' about.

Frieza laughed, his voice shaking so much that I could tell his face

was bright red with rage. "Ha! I'm sure it's just a delayed reaction

to my godly self." Ding ding, I thought with a shaky internal laugh. I

breathed as deeply as possible and opened my eyes. Sure enough,

Frieza was bright red, and Vegeta was smirking like it was going out

of style.

Frieza growled and flexed his muscles, trying to get me to somehow

overlook the fact that as good as Vegeta looked, Frieza might has

well be Roshi naked. The thought of that sick old man slowed my heart

down very fast, and I stepped back from Vegeta. He looked at me

quizzically for a brief moment, then turned to face Frieza with a

smirk, undoubtedly going to rub his imminent victory in Frieza's face

a little more. All their talk was beginning to bore me, so I instead

took the time to admire the fact that Vegeta looked just as good from

the back in those black Spandex shorts as he did from the front. My

heart raced again, and this time I could do nothing to stop my knees

from giving out totally. I was sure that I was about to crash, but

again Vegeta caught me, this time holding me tightly to him.

My arms went about his neck reflexively. I thought to myself that as

clouded as my eyes must be I probably looked like a 12-step dropout.

Again I was wrong, as Vegeta kissed me lightly on my lips. I passed

out.

When opened my eyes, I was still in Vegeta's arms but I was looking

over his shoulder. It felt like my chest was about to explode. My

vision focused and I saw Zarbon and Frieza holding hands, preparing

to fly off together. I closed my eyes again, and focused on

breathing. I knew I'd never be able to catch my breath, and evidently

so did Vegeta. He laughed softly at me. My mind had cleared enough by

now for me to realize that he wasn't quite as calm as I'd initially

believed. Laughing to myself, I realized that I could really make use

of this situation.

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