Authors Notes: This has been so long on coming, I expect everyone has forgotten about it. But I'm not about to give up so close to the end. This chapter has been on my website for bloody ages, and I've completely forgot to put it up here, so I'll just take this opportunity to apologise. Profusely. And also put in a quick plug for my website (http://www.narcissisticelf.net/~reflections) which *always* gets updated first...
Chapter 9
//There was no place Legolas feared more than Moria. It was unnatural for an Elf to be completely surrounded by the darkness, with no hope of sunlight, and freedom, especially for such a seemingly long period of time. Every time he looked up ahead, and saw nothing but darkness, he felt the terror rise inside of him, driving him ever forward. Occasionally, Boromir would place a comforting hand around his wrist, smiling softly when Legolas met his gaze, but it did nothing to quench the overwhelming fear that ruled his body.
At least he had proved his worth to the others with the slaying of the lurker in the waters. Even Boromir, whose previous knowledge of the elf's skills as an archer were limited to their first encounter, had shown genuine surprise at the certainty of the arrow shot, even under immense pressure, that had impounded the foul creature back to its dark home. But it had all been in vain, for now they were the trapped creatures in a dark unfathomable kingdom that seemed to last forever.
They had been journeying through Moria all day, and inevitably the Hobbits began to grow tired, their large feet dragging sullenly across the coarse floor. Finally, Aragorn and Gandalf glanced meaningfully at each other and Aragorn nodded his head. "We will stop for the night here. We have covered plenty of ground today."
They had reached a smaller sector of the large mine, a circular room with a high ceiling running overhead, casting shadows on each of their faces. Legolas did not wish to stop here, but he knew in his heart that there would be no place better than this, or any more inviting. Moria was bleak and foreboding in all its many chasms, corners and walls. Evil did not rest here.
As the Fellowship began to take out their thin blankets in order to settle down for the night, Legolas remained standing, knowing he would not be able to sleep. "I will take first watch tonight." He informed the others simply. Aragorn looked ready to protest, but Legolas stopped him with a quick stare that showed how adamant he would be.
"So long as you wake me up when your watch is over, so I may take over. I do not want you to stay up all night again, you will soon grow weary."
"That is for me to decide." Legolas stalked out of the sector, hating himself for showing such petty weakness. As much as sleep in this place appealed to him, for he would be able to escape from this awful reality, he knew he would never be able to feel safe enough to do so.
Soon after, he heard footsteps behind him, and he turned to see Boromir staring at him apprehensively. "You seem troubled, elf."
"That is not your concern, man." Legolas spat out the last word. Boromir smiled slightly, not in the least taken aback. "Why aren't you sleeping? Elves can survive with little or no sleep. Men are not so gifted."
"A gift, is it?" Boromir raised an eyebrow, the smile remaining on his face. "How I wish I were asleep, for then I would not feel the full brunt of your obvious anger. Yet I must keep watch with you, for myself and Aragorn are both concerned that you will not rest tonight if you are left to your own devices."
"My own..." Legolas stumbled over his words, incessantly angry. "And since when are you and Aragorn friend enough to decide that I should be watched over like a child?"
"Aragorn and I have a sense of duty to attend to. Whatever our personal feelings towards each other, we know better than to act upon them when our main responsibility is towards the Fellowship." He paused, and looked at the elf meaningfully. "All of the Fellowship."
"As is mine." Legolas told him coldly. "So if you would rather sleep now, I would not be the least bit offended."
"Nay, I cannot do that. You seem troubled and ill at ease. I have no choice but to stand watch with you."
"You mean stand watch *over* me. And I do not need you to do so." Legolas began to walk away, but Boromir's hand on his shoulder stopped him from going further.
"Come, sweet prince, you do not need to shun me. For once, we share the same weakness. Let us help each other through this." Legolas felt Boromir's breath on his neck, warm and heavy, which eventually gave way to coarse lips. Legolas moaned involuntarily, and Boromir took this as a sign to continue. He sucked gently on the smooth skin, and forcefully turned Legolas around so they were facing each other. Then, his mouth began to work its way up towards the pursed lips.
"Stop," Legolas pushed him away gently, "this is wrong."
"Then why does it feel right?" Boromir asked. He took a step closer and ran his hand down Legolas' face. The elf flinched.
"I cannot, Boromir. Not here, surrounded by such evil."
"I need this, my beautiful. Do not deny me this pleasure." He began kissing him again, hungrily this time, his hands roaming the parts that his eyes couldn't see.
"Please stop." Legolas pulled away again, this time taking several steps back. "I do not want to deny you anything, Boromir, but I cannot make my body do this. It is too wrong."
"Why?" Boromir breathed out, infuriated. "What do you fear so, that prevents you from giving into such pleasure?"
"The darkness." Legolas replied, in a moment of unexpected honesty.
"But there is no darkness." Boromir said. Legolas looked at him disbelievingly.
"It is all around you, Boromir. It consumes us, it..."
"Nothing but light." Boromir interrupted him stubbornly. "Eternal light."
"You are mad. The darkness has left you insane." Legolas turned to walk away, but felt himself turn round again. "Where is this light?"
"Right in front of me. I gaze upon it this very instant." Boromir stared at Legolas, a small smile upon his face. Legolas finally realised what he meant, and shook his head.
"I cannot see this light, human. Am I deprived so?"
"Aye, yes. That you cannot see your own light, 'tis the worst kind of purgatory."
"Maybe so. *You* have no such light. 'Tis a pity, for I would have much desired to look upon it." Legolas felt himself smiling despite everything. Boromir stared at him in wonder.
"And there is the brightest light of all." He whispered. He pulled Legolas to him and began to kiss him again. This time Legolas did not pull away. "If it ails you so," Boromir broke off the kiss abruptly, "I will not push you further whilst we journey through Moria. To know that you're here beside me is enough."
"You are a noble man, son of Gondor. When the ring is finally destroyed, I will be yours forever." Legolas said. Boromir stared at him, his expression pained.
"Forever? 'Tis a long time, sweet prince."
"As long as I have you, it will feel no more than a day." Legolas told him. He placed one last kiss on the man's lips before breaking away. "Now come, we have a watch to carry out."
***
Caradhras may have defeated them, but it was Moria that had crushed them. As the Fellowship set foot out through the other side, their grief at losing Gandalf threatened to destroy them all. Legolas wished that he could cry, so that he could immerse himself in the grief that his companions were going through, but he felt nothing but emptiness, a sense of questioning, and most of all, hatred towards himself for letting it happen. Why hadn't he been able to destroy the Balrog in the same way he had defeated the Cave Troll, the countless Orcs, and the lurker in the waters? Why had this foe been beyond him? He should have been able to save Gandalf, not left him to face the demon alone.
A little way over the rocky ground, he saw Boromir and Gimli embracing, tears running down both their faces, and a short distance from them Merry and Pippin crying loudly, holding onto one another for comfort. He wished he could share their emotion, but it was lost to him.
Too soon he heard Aragorn calling his name, telling him to get the little ones up. He knew that the man was talking sense, but he couldn't help but feel the slightest bit resentful. Boromir seemed to voice his opinion.
"Give them a moment, for pity's sake." He told the man. Aragorn shot him a look of disdain.
"By nightfall, this place will be swarming with Orcs. Do you really want to wait until then?"
Boromir fell silent, and looked towards Legolas, who walked over to help Sam to his feet. None of them wanted to continue, but they had no other choice, and Legolas knew that Aragorn spoke the truth. Boromir seemed to realise too, for he spoke no more of it, and stood up quickly, Gimli following.
Finally, they set out again, and walked relentlessly, Aragorn driving them forward with a force that none of them had ever seen from him before. Legolas quickly realised what it was about. With Gandalf gone, Aragorn was left to lead them. It was not a role that Legolas would have wished on anyone, but Aragorn was the natural successor. He occasionally spoke, mainly to tell the Hobbits to keep up, but he could only push the little ones so far, and Frodo was still suffering from the injuries inflicted on him from the cave troll. Finally, it became unbearable to watch, and Boromir spoke up.
"Aragorn, we cannot continue. Frodo's wounds need tending to, and we all need rest. We have covered sufficient grounds today; the Orcs will not trouble us here." Aragorn turned round to see the group had stopped walking and were staring at him expectantly. He quickly surveyed Frodo, who was close to dropping, and sighed.
"Fine, we will rest here. Frodo, I'll attend to your wounds and take first watch." He stared pointedly at Legolas. "The rest, get some sleep."
As Aragorn walked off to search the healing weed, Legolas approached him. "Aragorn, I will not sleep tonight, and you know it. You are obviously tired. Let me take this watch."
"I order you to sleep." Aragorn rounded on him fiercely. "I am the leader now, and you would do well to listen to me."
"I will take your commands," Legolas stared at him angrily, "but not because I trust in them." He began to walk off, and Aragorn sighed deeply. It was no use taking out his anger on the elf. Legolas could be just as stubborn.
"Legolas, I am sorry. I should not have said that." Legolas looked as if he was going to continue walking, but after a time he turned back round to face him.
"Aragorn, you are a fine leader. Do not doubt your worth."
"I am not worth anything, Legolas. I just hope I can guide the ringbearer to safety."
"You will, I'm sure of it. You will guide us all to safety, I'll warrant."
"Your trust means a lot to me, friend. I am grateful for it." Aragorn reached out a hand tentatively and placed it on his shoulder. Legolas felt a rush through his body, confused at what it meant. "But you will sleep?"
"I will try." Legolas attempted a smile. "But I fear that tonight, sleep will not be forthcoming."
***
Legolas awoke from a light sleep to somebody shaking him, and a heavy breathing upon his face. He looked up at Boromir staring down at him. "May we go someplace?" He whispered quietly.
"Do you wish for me to take your watch?" Legolas asked, confused as to why Boromir had awoken him.
Boromir shook his head. "My watch is not for a while yet, and I do not want you to take it in any case." Legolas opened his mouth to speak, but Boromir placed a finger on his lips, "But I wish for you to come with me now, before my watch starts." Legolas wanted to return to that inviting, dreamless sleep that he had somehow managed to succumb to merely a few hours previous, but Boromir seemed insistent, and Legolas reluctantly stood up.
Taking him by the hand, Boromir led him past the sleeping Hobbits, and through the trees to a small clearing. Finally, he turned round to look at Legolas. "What is this about, Boromir? What was so urgent that it could not wait until morning?"
"This," Boromir whispered, and kissed him forcefully. Legolas stumbled back, staring at the man in disbelief. "I'm sorry, my prince, but my grief is such tonight that only your touch will give me release."
"This is madness. Gandalf is not but a few hours fallen into shadow, and you wish to 'forget' your sorrow through a crude embrace? You amaze me, human. I would have thought that you would show more respect."
"The thought of your touch has been the only thing that kept me going through the Hell of Moria. I share your grief now, but I share none other of your qualities. I need to be inside you, my love. I need you to make me forget." Legolas was shocked to see Boromir crying silently through the darkness, his voice trembling with each word. If Legolas really was the only one that could ease Boromir's pain, then he could not refuse the man his touch.
"Boromir, if that is what it takes, then I'll help you." He told him. He took a step towards the man and ran his tongue down his cheek, tasting salty tears. Boromir shivered. "Take me." Legolas whispered, and Boromir needed no further persuasion. His arms pulled Legolas closer, undoing his tunic clumsily, and pulling down his leggings.
"Did you know how much I wanted you, when you slayed that cave troll? I wanted to ravish you there and then."
"So you do not want me passive and vulnerable?" Legolas smiled. Boromir choked back a laugh.
"Gods, no. You would not be nearly so beautiful." Boromir told him. He resumed kissing him, and Legolas pulled down the man's breeches. "You are positive you want this?"
"Boromir, I am yours." Legolas told him. The man turned him around gently, and slowly began to push himself into him.
"Ai!" Legolas moaned softly. Boromir kissed his neck.
"Does it hurt?"
"Yes, but it matters not. I want this, Boromir. Do not hesitate." Boromir kissed him again, and began thrusting into him slowly. Legolas began whispering in Elvish, which Boromir evidently liked, as his thrusts began faster and rougher. With the man's arms wrapped around him, and the moon visible through the trees, it had never felt so right, or so perfect. Moria may have crushed them, but there was still hope to be found.
Finally they both reached their climax, and Legolas lent back against Boromir, breathing softly. "I am in love with you, Legolas." Boromir whispered in his ear. Legolas turned round to face him.
"That's the first time you've called me Legolas." He exclaimed. Boromir stared at him, surprised.
"Surely not?"
"Aye, it is." Legolas smiled. He kissed Boromir passionately, wondering if he would ever again feel the joy that consumed him at this very moment.//
Chapter 9
//There was no place Legolas feared more than Moria. It was unnatural for an Elf to be completely surrounded by the darkness, with no hope of sunlight, and freedom, especially for such a seemingly long period of time. Every time he looked up ahead, and saw nothing but darkness, he felt the terror rise inside of him, driving him ever forward. Occasionally, Boromir would place a comforting hand around his wrist, smiling softly when Legolas met his gaze, but it did nothing to quench the overwhelming fear that ruled his body.
At least he had proved his worth to the others with the slaying of the lurker in the waters. Even Boromir, whose previous knowledge of the elf's skills as an archer were limited to their first encounter, had shown genuine surprise at the certainty of the arrow shot, even under immense pressure, that had impounded the foul creature back to its dark home. But it had all been in vain, for now they were the trapped creatures in a dark unfathomable kingdom that seemed to last forever.
They had been journeying through Moria all day, and inevitably the Hobbits began to grow tired, their large feet dragging sullenly across the coarse floor. Finally, Aragorn and Gandalf glanced meaningfully at each other and Aragorn nodded his head. "We will stop for the night here. We have covered plenty of ground today."
They had reached a smaller sector of the large mine, a circular room with a high ceiling running overhead, casting shadows on each of their faces. Legolas did not wish to stop here, but he knew in his heart that there would be no place better than this, or any more inviting. Moria was bleak and foreboding in all its many chasms, corners and walls. Evil did not rest here.
As the Fellowship began to take out their thin blankets in order to settle down for the night, Legolas remained standing, knowing he would not be able to sleep. "I will take first watch tonight." He informed the others simply. Aragorn looked ready to protest, but Legolas stopped him with a quick stare that showed how adamant he would be.
"So long as you wake me up when your watch is over, so I may take over. I do not want you to stay up all night again, you will soon grow weary."
"That is for me to decide." Legolas stalked out of the sector, hating himself for showing such petty weakness. As much as sleep in this place appealed to him, for he would be able to escape from this awful reality, he knew he would never be able to feel safe enough to do so.
Soon after, he heard footsteps behind him, and he turned to see Boromir staring at him apprehensively. "You seem troubled, elf."
"That is not your concern, man." Legolas spat out the last word. Boromir smiled slightly, not in the least taken aback. "Why aren't you sleeping? Elves can survive with little or no sleep. Men are not so gifted."
"A gift, is it?" Boromir raised an eyebrow, the smile remaining on his face. "How I wish I were asleep, for then I would not feel the full brunt of your obvious anger. Yet I must keep watch with you, for myself and Aragorn are both concerned that you will not rest tonight if you are left to your own devices."
"My own..." Legolas stumbled over his words, incessantly angry. "And since when are you and Aragorn friend enough to decide that I should be watched over like a child?"
"Aragorn and I have a sense of duty to attend to. Whatever our personal feelings towards each other, we know better than to act upon them when our main responsibility is towards the Fellowship." He paused, and looked at the elf meaningfully. "All of the Fellowship."
"As is mine." Legolas told him coldly. "So if you would rather sleep now, I would not be the least bit offended."
"Nay, I cannot do that. You seem troubled and ill at ease. I have no choice but to stand watch with you."
"You mean stand watch *over* me. And I do not need you to do so." Legolas began to walk away, but Boromir's hand on his shoulder stopped him from going further.
"Come, sweet prince, you do not need to shun me. For once, we share the same weakness. Let us help each other through this." Legolas felt Boromir's breath on his neck, warm and heavy, which eventually gave way to coarse lips. Legolas moaned involuntarily, and Boromir took this as a sign to continue. He sucked gently on the smooth skin, and forcefully turned Legolas around so they were facing each other. Then, his mouth began to work its way up towards the pursed lips.
"Stop," Legolas pushed him away gently, "this is wrong."
"Then why does it feel right?" Boromir asked. He took a step closer and ran his hand down Legolas' face. The elf flinched.
"I cannot, Boromir. Not here, surrounded by such evil."
"I need this, my beautiful. Do not deny me this pleasure." He began kissing him again, hungrily this time, his hands roaming the parts that his eyes couldn't see.
"Please stop." Legolas pulled away again, this time taking several steps back. "I do not want to deny you anything, Boromir, but I cannot make my body do this. It is too wrong."
"Why?" Boromir breathed out, infuriated. "What do you fear so, that prevents you from giving into such pleasure?"
"The darkness." Legolas replied, in a moment of unexpected honesty.
"But there is no darkness." Boromir said. Legolas looked at him disbelievingly.
"It is all around you, Boromir. It consumes us, it..."
"Nothing but light." Boromir interrupted him stubbornly. "Eternal light."
"You are mad. The darkness has left you insane." Legolas turned to walk away, but felt himself turn round again. "Where is this light?"
"Right in front of me. I gaze upon it this very instant." Boromir stared at Legolas, a small smile upon his face. Legolas finally realised what he meant, and shook his head.
"I cannot see this light, human. Am I deprived so?"
"Aye, yes. That you cannot see your own light, 'tis the worst kind of purgatory."
"Maybe so. *You* have no such light. 'Tis a pity, for I would have much desired to look upon it." Legolas felt himself smiling despite everything. Boromir stared at him in wonder.
"And there is the brightest light of all." He whispered. He pulled Legolas to him and began to kiss him again. This time Legolas did not pull away. "If it ails you so," Boromir broke off the kiss abruptly, "I will not push you further whilst we journey through Moria. To know that you're here beside me is enough."
"You are a noble man, son of Gondor. When the ring is finally destroyed, I will be yours forever." Legolas said. Boromir stared at him, his expression pained.
"Forever? 'Tis a long time, sweet prince."
"As long as I have you, it will feel no more than a day." Legolas told him. He placed one last kiss on the man's lips before breaking away. "Now come, we have a watch to carry out."
***
Caradhras may have defeated them, but it was Moria that had crushed them. As the Fellowship set foot out through the other side, their grief at losing Gandalf threatened to destroy them all. Legolas wished that he could cry, so that he could immerse himself in the grief that his companions were going through, but he felt nothing but emptiness, a sense of questioning, and most of all, hatred towards himself for letting it happen. Why hadn't he been able to destroy the Balrog in the same way he had defeated the Cave Troll, the countless Orcs, and the lurker in the waters? Why had this foe been beyond him? He should have been able to save Gandalf, not left him to face the demon alone.
A little way over the rocky ground, he saw Boromir and Gimli embracing, tears running down both their faces, and a short distance from them Merry and Pippin crying loudly, holding onto one another for comfort. He wished he could share their emotion, but it was lost to him.
Too soon he heard Aragorn calling his name, telling him to get the little ones up. He knew that the man was talking sense, but he couldn't help but feel the slightest bit resentful. Boromir seemed to voice his opinion.
"Give them a moment, for pity's sake." He told the man. Aragorn shot him a look of disdain.
"By nightfall, this place will be swarming with Orcs. Do you really want to wait until then?"
Boromir fell silent, and looked towards Legolas, who walked over to help Sam to his feet. None of them wanted to continue, but they had no other choice, and Legolas knew that Aragorn spoke the truth. Boromir seemed to realise too, for he spoke no more of it, and stood up quickly, Gimli following.
Finally, they set out again, and walked relentlessly, Aragorn driving them forward with a force that none of them had ever seen from him before. Legolas quickly realised what it was about. With Gandalf gone, Aragorn was left to lead them. It was not a role that Legolas would have wished on anyone, but Aragorn was the natural successor. He occasionally spoke, mainly to tell the Hobbits to keep up, but he could only push the little ones so far, and Frodo was still suffering from the injuries inflicted on him from the cave troll. Finally, it became unbearable to watch, and Boromir spoke up.
"Aragorn, we cannot continue. Frodo's wounds need tending to, and we all need rest. We have covered sufficient grounds today; the Orcs will not trouble us here." Aragorn turned round to see the group had stopped walking and were staring at him expectantly. He quickly surveyed Frodo, who was close to dropping, and sighed.
"Fine, we will rest here. Frodo, I'll attend to your wounds and take first watch." He stared pointedly at Legolas. "The rest, get some sleep."
As Aragorn walked off to search the healing weed, Legolas approached him. "Aragorn, I will not sleep tonight, and you know it. You are obviously tired. Let me take this watch."
"I order you to sleep." Aragorn rounded on him fiercely. "I am the leader now, and you would do well to listen to me."
"I will take your commands," Legolas stared at him angrily, "but not because I trust in them." He began to walk off, and Aragorn sighed deeply. It was no use taking out his anger on the elf. Legolas could be just as stubborn.
"Legolas, I am sorry. I should not have said that." Legolas looked as if he was going to continue walking, but after a time he turned back round to face him.
"Aragorn, you are a fine leader. Do not doubt your worth."
"I am not worth anything, Legolas. I just hope I can guide the ringbearer to safety."
"You will, I'm sure of it. You will guide us all to safety, I'll warrant."
"Your trust means a lot to me, friend. I am grateful for it." Aragorn reached out a hand tentatively and placed it on his shoulder. Legolas felt a rush through his body, confused at what it meant. "But you will sleep?"
"I will try." Legolas attempted a smile. "But I fear that tonight, sleep will not be forthcoming."
***
Legolas awoke from a light sleep to somebody shaking him, and a heavy breathing upon his face. He looked up at Boromir staring down at him. "May we go someplace?" He whispered quietly.
"Do you wish for me to take your watch?" Legolas asked, confused as to why Boromir had awoken him.
Boromir shook his head. "My watch is not for a while yet, and I do not want you to take it in any case." Legolas opened his mouth to speak, but Boromir placed a finger on his lips, "But I wish for you to come with me now, before my watch starts." Legolas wanted to return to that inviting, dreamless sleep that he had somehow managed to succumb to merely a few hours previous, but Boromir seemed insistent, and Legolas reluctantly stood up.
Taking him by the hand, Boromir led him past the sleeping Hobbits, and through the trees to a small clearing. Finally, he turned round to look at Legolas. "What is this about, Boromir? What was so urgent that it could not wait until morning?"
"This," Boromir whispered, and kissed him forcefully. Legolas stumbled back, staring at the man in disbelief. "I'm sorry, my prince, but my grief is such tonight that only your touch will give me release."
"This is madness. Gandalf is not but a few hours fallen into shadow, and you wish to 'forget' your sorrow through a crude embrace? You amaze me, human. I would have thought that you would show more respect."
"The thought of your touch has been the only thing that kept me going through the Hell of Moria. I share your grief now, but I share none other of your qualities. I need to be inside you, my love. I need you to make me forget." Legolas was shocked to see Boromir crying silently through the darkness, his voice trembling with each word. If Legolas really was the only one that could ease Boromir's pain, then he could not refuse the man his touch.
"Boromir, if that is what it takes, then I'll help you." He told him. He took a step towards the man and ran his tongue down his cheek, tasting salty tears. Boromir shivered. "Take me." Legolas whispered, and Boromir needed no further persuasion. His arms pulled Legolas closer, undoing his tunic clumsily, and pulling down his leggings.
"Did you know how much I wanted you, when you slayed that cave troll? I wanted to ravish you there and then."
"So you do not want me passive and vulnerable?" Legolas smiled. Boromir choked back a laugh.
"Gods, no. You would not be nearly so beautiful." Boromir told him. He resumed kissing him, and Legolas pulled down the man's breeches. "You are positive you want this?"
"Boromir, I am yours." Legolas told him. The man turned him around gently, and slowly began to push himself into him.
"Ai!" Legolas moaned softly. Boromir kissed his neck.
"Does it hurt?"
"Yes, but it matters not. I want this, Boromir. Do not hesitate." Boromir kissed him again, and began thrusting into him slowly. Legolas began whispering in Elvish, which Boromir evidently liked, as his thrusts began faster and rougher. With the man's arms wrapped around him, and the moon visible through the trees, it had never felt so right, or so perfect. Moria may have crushed them, but there was still hope to be found.
Finally they both reached their climax, and Legolas lent back against Boromir, breathing softly. "I am in love with you, Legolas." Boromir whispered in his ear. Legolas turned round to face him.
"That's the first time you've called me Legolas." He exclaimed. Boromir stared at him, surprised.
"Surely not?"
"Aye, it is." Legolas smiled. He kissed Boromir passionately, wondering if he would ever again feel the joy that consumed him at this very moment.//