Broken Inside
By: Atsureki
Disclaimers : Weiss Kreuz ain't mine and they never will be either *sighs*
Paring : Ran(Aya)/Ken
Warnings : Yaoi, OCC, angst (as always *mutters*)
Notes : Stuff written in Italic are thoughts.
Chapter 7. Touching
Brown eyes opened and took in the dark silence that filled his room. Aya was still asleep and hadn't moved at all by the feel of it. Ken buried his nose in the redhead's shirt and filled his lungs with the masculine, almost spicy scent that followed Aya wherever he went.
Ever since the silent man had joined Weiss he had been out of reach, untouchable, for everybody. Yet there he was now within reach and Ken wanted nothing more than to touch him, feel him. Carefully, almost hesitant, the brunette placed his hand on Aya's chest.
The shirt kept him from feeling the redhead's skin so Ken curiously unbuttoned two of the buttons and pushed the shirt apart slightly. A flat ivory stomach greeted his brown gaze. Gently he ran his fingertips over the newly found area and smiled. Aya's skin was so warm and soft, nothing like the cold, hard mask he put up for all to see and fear.
With each centimeter he touched Ken grew bolder. His hand caressed the smooth skin and drew a low moan from the sleeping assassin. He knew it could turn out to be a mistake but he didn't really care, all he wanted was to feel Aya. Carefully his hand traveled higher and stroked over the redhead's ribs and chest.
Ken couldn't see what he touched but he didn't have to, the sensation of skin against skin was enough at the moment. One of his fingers brushed over a small nub that hardened under the caress and drew a soft sigh from Aya. The shift in the redhead's breathing told Ken that he was awake but he continued his exploration.
Suddenly slender ivory fingers showed up and unbuttoned the rest of the shirt, allowing it to fall apart. Ken's brown eyes ran over the smooth, pale but strong chest with fascination and awe. More than a little nervous the brunette leaned forward and placed a light kiss on the smooth warm skin.
Aya tasted almost exactly like he smelled, masculine and spicy. Some part of Ken's brain told him that the redhead might not accept his actions but he silenced it quickly. The brunette wanted this and he was going to go as far as Aya would let him. Besides, so far he had been encourage to continue so that was what he was going to do.
His lips moved across the flawless skin but he needed more. Carefully Ken allowed his tongue to dart out. The redhead moaned softly, shifted slightly and then a hand pulled the brunette's face up. Brown eyes met amethyst that were shining with something Ken couldn't put words to.
Aya leaned forward and connected their lips. The kiss was gentle and questioning at first, then Ken decided to push his luck a little. His tongue caressed Aya's lips asking for access and it was granted willingly. The brunette felt the kiss deepen slowly and then his tongue met another.
Moaning softly Ken relished the sensation of exploring the taller man's mouth, tasting and touching everything he could reach. Aya's hand gently ran through his hair and drew him even closer. Just before Ken's lungs started begging for air the spell was broken.
The redhead ended the kiss and sank back against the pillows. Again the room was silence but the brunette wanted more. But when he tried to claim Aya's lips again he was stopped. Confused he looked into the gem-like eyes.
"Aya, I…" he almost whispered.
"Not like this Ken," the redhead said softly. Ken didn't understand and searched the taller man's eyes from an answer.
"Why?" he finally asked. Didn't Aya want him?
"We're moving too fast Ken." The brunette frowned slightly and pulled back.
"I don't understand," he mumbled and felt a sting of hurt inside.
"I care a lot about you and I don't want to rush into this. Please Ken, give me some time, give yourself some time." Ken sighed but nodded. Aya was right, things were moving a little too fast for both of them. He wasn't sure about the redhead but he himself was a virgin and rushing things could lead to mistakes which was the last thing he wanted.
*~*~*~*~*~*~
Aya could see that his words hurt Ken but he had to say them before something went wrong. He wanted Ken more than anything but at the same time he didn't want to rush things and risk ruining them.
Besides, he was still a bit shocked over the way he had woken up. The brunette's touch had felt so right and he had longed for it for so long. But he could wait a little more just to make sure it was what they both wanted.
Aya wrapped his arms around Ken's warm body and pulled him close. At the moment he was satisfied with having the brunette close and knowing that he was wanted.
*~*~*~*~*~*~
The Koneko was quiet as Aya slowly prepared it for another day of crazy school-girls. He still had an hour before the shop was going to open so he had time to think about what had happened earlier. The brunette was in the backroom and every now and then his head showed up to see where Aya was.
It was a bit distrubing that Ken kept checking that he was still there. Morioka's word echoed in the redhead's head. 'If you're not careful Fujimiya-san you might end up being just another drug for Hidaka-san. You're already dangerously close at becoming his security blanket.'
Aya frowned and bit his lip. That wasn't what he wanted. Sure he would do anything in his power to always be there for Ken but the brunette needed to be able to function without him. Sighing he bent down to pick up some papers that had fallen to the floor. He didn't really know how dependent Ken was on him and had no idea of how to find out either. The sounds of footsteps approached and Aya knew that it was the brunette, he could feel it.
"Aya?" On a whim the redhead decided not to answer. Since he was infront of the desk Ken couldn't see him. "Aya!?" The brunette's voice sounded concerned and a little bit scared. "AYA!" The red haired assassin slowly rose from the floor and sighed inside. This was not good.
"I'm right here Ken," he said softly and met brown eyes shining with mild panic.
"Why didn't you answer?" the brunette asked and came closer.
"I'm sorry I was lost in thoughts," Aya lied smoothly. Ken pressed himself against the redhead and Aya could feel that he was shaking. Gently he put an arm around the brunette and gave him a little hug. He would have to back off from Ken. Aya's inside objecting but he knew he had to back off, at least a little.
"I'm gonna make some deliveries later today. I'll leave as soon as the morning rush is over." The touch of panic returned in Ken's eyes. I'm sorry Ken but you have to be able to be by yourself, Aya sighed inside. He took a step back and returned to the papers he had picked up from the floor.
*~*~*~*~*~*~
Inside Ken screamed in protest when Aya told him he would be left alone. It scared him that he needed the redhead so badly but what could he do? The real world felt unsafe when Aya wasn't near him. Ken swallowed. He would have to get a grip on his fears though since he couldn't very well follow the redhead everywhere.
The brunette licked his lips and pulled himself together the best he could. He had a life that waited for him and that life didn't include having Aya constantly by his side, even if that was something he really wanted and not because of his nightmares. What if his memories came back to haunt him after the redhead had left?
Ken walked back to the backroom and hugged himself. He knew that alone he wouldn't be able to figh off Kase and the other ghosts from his past. Shaking he went back to work and pushed away the fears that clouded his thoughts.
*~*~*~*~*~*~
Ken watched as Aya drove off to make the deliveries. The redhead would be gone for about two hours and that was two hours too much. Shuddering Ken went back inside and started putting together the first flower arrangement on the list Aya had left behind.
As long as he was occupied he could keep himself from thinking. He picked up a rose and stripped it from its thorns. That flower reminded him of Aya. Beautiful and soft if you knew where to touch and hard and spikey if you rubbed it the wrong way. Smiling softly to himself Ken kept on working.
All too soon he had finished the four arrangements and was faced with having nothing to do. The panic came almost at once. Trembling he started pacing the shop looking for something, anything to occupy his time. He watered the plants, moved pots here and there, swept the floor twice, watered some more, moved back the pots and then finally Aya walked back in.
Ken had to restrain himself from running up to the redhead and pounce on him, but he had made it. He had spent two hours all by himself without Aya there to keep him safe.
~TBC~
I know, I know you wanted a lemon… But seriously it felt wrong to smack on a lemon here. *nods* I hate rushing into sex-scenes and the timing was all wrong here. But I can almost promise you all that there will be one later on *nods again* Ja/Atsureki