Part 1: Shop Smart
It is a quiet day in S-Mart until a tall man in a black trench coat bumps into a can of paint.
"Ash! Clean up in House wares!" yells the Manager.
"Go to hell." mumbles Ash under his breath.
The manager looks at Ash with contempt.
"What?" Ash says.
"Just clean the paint." Says the manager through clenched teeth.
"Hey tall dark and ugly!" Ash shouts.
"Me?" asks the man in the jacket.
"Yeah, you mind not knocking anymore stuff over, okay?"
The man says nothing.
Ash takes his mop and starts to clean the mess. An old woman walks up to him.
"Excuse me sonny, Are you Ash?" she asks.
"Yeah, who wants to know?"
She pulls down the shawl over her head.
"The Deadite Army!" she yells as her skin falls off and reveals a hideous monster.
"Not you guys again," he says.
The monster swings at him and he ducks it. The man in black runs up and drop kicks it.
"Thanks clumsy," Ash says.
Ash runs in the direction of sporting goods and leaves the man in black to battle the deadite. The man gets a few good punches off but is swatted by the monster.
Ash strolls up to it.
"Hey she-bitch. You want me? You got me."
The monster lunges at Ash. He reaches behind his back with his big metal hand. He pulls out a trusty boom stick.
BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!
The monster hits the floor.
Ash searches around the store. He finds what he's looking for, gardening. He runs over and grabs a chain saw.
He pulls off his metal hand and puts it in his pocket. He screws the chainsaw into his wrist. He pulls the cord.
"Let's go."
The deadite jumps up. The man in black tries to fight it again but is thrown into a janitor's cart. The cleaning fluid burns the skin off his face.
"I'll swallow your soul!" it yells.
"Why don't you swallow this?"
Ash shoves the chainsaw into its mouth. He pulls it down and cuts the deadite in half. Blood and guts splatter everywhere. Ash cuts it again. And again. And again. He turns off the chainsaw.
"Hey buddy? You okay?" Ash says to the man in black.
The man lifts up his head. He face is half burned off.
"Shit!" Ash yells.
He raises the shotgun to shoot the man.
"No wait. I'm not one of them. This is my real face."
"Huh?"
"I was in a lab explosion." Says the man.
"Okay." says Ash still kind of confused. He lowers the gun.
"My name is Peyton Westlake. I am a scientist."
Ash helps him to his feet.
"I am doing research. I had to find you. But when I got here I wasn't sure it was you but now I am."
"What do you want with me?" asks Ash.
"I needed to find out how to find a deadite but I guess there it is."
"Why do you need a deadite?"
"I make synthetic skins and I can never get them to last 99 minutes without disintegrating. But by combining the immortal blood of the deadites it's possible that I could make the skin last indefinitely."
"Right. well then I guess you should just take that damned thing then." Says Ash.
"Swallow your soul!" screams a voice.
A light flashes. A whirlwind starts to suck things into it.
"No not again!" yells Ash.
They are both sucked into the vortex.
It is a quiet day in S-Mart until a tall man in a black trench coat bumps into a can of paint.
"Ash! Clean up in House wares!" yells the Manager.
"Go to hell." mumbles Ash under his breath.
The manager looks at Ash with contempt.
"What?" Ash says.
"Just clean the paint." Says the manager through clenched teeth.
"Hey tall dark and ugly!" Ash shouts.
"Me?" asks the man in the jacket.
"Yeah, you mind not knocking anymore stuff over, okay?"
The man says nothing.
Ash takes his mop and starts to clean the mess. An old woman walks up to him.
"Excuse me sonny, Are you Ash?" she asks.
"Yeah, who wants to know?"
She pulls down the shawl over her head.
"The Deadite Army!" she yells as her skin falls off and reveals a hideous monster.
"Not you guys again," he says.
The monster swings at him and he ducks it. The man in black runs up and drop kicks it.
"Thanks clumsy," Ash says.
Ash runs in the direction of sporting goods and leaves the man in black to battle the deadite. The man gets a few good punches off but is swatted by the monster.
Ash strolls up to it.
"Hey she-bitch. You want me? You got me."
The monster lunges at Ash. He reaches behind his back with his big metal hand. He pulls out a trusty boom stick.
BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!
The monster hits the floor.
Ash searches around the store. He finds what he's looking for, gardening. He runs over and grabs a chain saw.
He pulls off his metal hand and puts it in his pocket. He screws the chainsaw into his wrist. He pulls the cord.
"Let's go."
The deadite jumps up. The man in black tries to fight it again but is thrown into a janitor's cart. The cleaning fluid burns the skin off his face.
"I'll swallow your soul!" it yells.
"Why don't you swallow this?"
Ash shoves the chainsaw into its mouth. He pulls it down and cuts the deadite in half. Blood and guts splatter everywhere. Ash cuts it again. And again. And again. He turns off the chainsaw.
"Hey buddy? You okay?" Ash says to the man in black.
The man lifts up his head. He face is half burned off.
"Shit!" Ash yells.
He raises the shotgun to shoot the man.
"No wait. I'm not one of them. This is my real face."
"Huh?"
"I was in a lab explosion." Says the man.
"Okay." says Ash still kind of confused. He lowers the gun.
"My name is Peyton Westlake. I am a scientist."
Ash helps him to his feet.
"I am doing research. I had to find you. But when I got here I wasn't sure it was you but now I am."
"What do you want with me?" asks Ash.
"I needed to find out how to find a deadite but I guess there it is."
"Why do you need a deadite?"
"I make synthetic skins and I can never get them to last 99 minutes without disintegrating. But by combining the immortal blood of the deadites it's possible that I could make the skin last indefinitely."
"Right. well then I guess you should just take that damned thing then." Says Ash.
"Swallow your soul!" screams a voice.
A light flashes. A whirlwind starts to suck things into it.
"No not again!" yells Ash.
They are both sucked into the vortex.