A/N: Thanks for taking the time to read my story. Unless you seriously hate
dumb blond jokes, or are completely in love with Legolas and hate to see
him insulted, I think you'll like this story.
~~ ~~~ ~~ ~~~ ~~ ~~~ ~~
It was a bright sunny noon in Middle Earth. The sun shone down on the little company of nine, scattered around the grassy fields.
Legolas was feeling good. He had washed his hair that very morning! He paused to caress the soft blond locks affectionately before continuing on his stroll. Legolas wandered into a forest that was growing on the edge of the meadow. Bluebirds were chirping and the trees all felt very happy.
Even though the company was heading into great danger, Legolas was full of happy thoughts! He decided he was going to trim his nails after dinner.
A little blue eyed, brown hair bunny rabbit hopped in front of Legolas. He smiled at the little thing as he unsheathed his knife. Pippin was going to be very happy. He had been complaining of the lack of variety in their food.
Suddenly, the rabbit hopped away. Legolas ran after it with his knife waving in the air. The rabbit hopped over to a big oak tree and stood there trembling.
Legolas smiled at the baby as he jabbed the knife forward. However, the rabbit ducked under a loose root unexpectedly and hopped away. Legolas tripped and accidentally cut himself on the cheek.
He screeched and pulled out a compact, checking the skin. He frowned. It was probably going to scar. Legolas sat down and started to cry softly. Now he was never going to beat Galadriel in that beauty contest!
He sniffed pitifully a few times and looked up, hoping that one of the company was there to fawn over him. There was no one there. Legolas was about to start crying again, louder this time, when something blue caught his eye.
It was underneath a flowering bush. Legolas stooped down gracefully and picked it up. He gasped in joy. It was a full bottle of Herbal Essences shampoo! Even better, it was his favorite scent! The one he had with him was one of Elrond's old bottles, and it was almost empty.
Legolas started to prance around in joy, forgetting his cheek. Suddenly, he stopped and frowned. There was something wrong with the shampoo. He sniffed it a few times and wrinkled his nose. The shampoo smelled like Orc!
He started to turn to get Aragorn, but the bottle would not go forward. Legolas tugged at it in frustration and finally an almost invisible wire attached to it snapped. He looked up as a giant magical net fell over his head.
Legolas screamed in agony. He was just sure, sure, sure he would have rope burns on his face now!
~~ ~~~ ~~ ~~~ ~~ In the meadow, Sam was trying to teach Boromir how to cook venison the "proper" way. Pippin was watching them, licking his lips every then and now. Merry was hopping around the three, waving his hobbit sword around. Aragorn and Frodo were sitting on a really big rock. Gimli was asleep next to the cooking fire. Gandalf was doing loops in the sky, along with some chirping sparrows.
Aragorn frowned. "There's something wrong with today," he mused. "Something in the air."
"Yeah," said Frodo. "It's Gandalf. He's starting to scare me too."
"Not that," Aragorn snapped. "I mean, not him. Something else. Something evil."
"How can you say that? I mean, just look around. This is just about as happy and good as you can get."
"Still. well, I suppose you're right." Aragorn shook his head. "It all seems very blond, if you know what I mean?"
"Like Legolas?"
"Yes. Say, where is he?"
"I think he's bathing in that spring over there. Either that or washing his hair again."
Aragorn shuddered. "Sam got our water from that spring." He looked to the water. "I don't see him."
"Maybe he went in the forest," Frodo suggested. He fluttered his eyelashes at a pair of butterflies that had landed on his nose. Aragorn shuddered again.
Sam stood up, banging on a cooking pot. "Dinner is ready," he called. Gimli opened one eye. Gandalf fell down from the sky and landed next to a little brown bunny with blue eyes. He petted the little thing. It whimpered cutely.
Merry stopped bouncing around and plopped down next to the fire. Pippin was so excited that dinner was ready that he fell over. Frodo helped him up. Aragorn looked one last time over at the spring before walking over to the dinner spread.
Sam spooned out the tomato soup and gave every pieces of garlic bread. Boromir proudly displayed the venison that he had cooked all by himself! (Almost.) Then he cut everyone a big piece. Gandalf started feeding some of his to the rabbit in his lap.
Pippin looked at the cooking pot lovingly. "I can't believe that Legolas would miss a meal just to wash his stupid blond hair."
"Watch it," Gimli said. "Legolas would skin you alive if he heard that."
"Besides," Gandalf said, "we can't all be blond."
"Thank goodness," Aragorn muttered.
"I'm telling Legolas you said that," Gandalf announced. "And everyone, I'm naming this rabbit Glen. And everyone should call him Glenny, all right?"
Glenny sniffed a piece of grass as canaries fluttered past the company.
~~ ~~~ ~~ ~~~ ~~ ~~~ ~~
A/N: What do you think? There's a very convenient way to tell me.
~~ ~~~ ~~ ~~~ ~~ ~~~ ~~
It was a bright sunny noon in Middle Earth. The sun shone down on the little company of nine, scattered around the grassy fields.
Legolas was feeling good. He had washed his hair that very morning! He paused to caress the soft blond locks affectionately before continuing on his stroll. Legolas wandered into a forest that was growing on the edge of the meadow. Bluebirds were chirping and the trees all felt very happy.
Even though the company was heading into great danger, Legolas was full of happy thoughts! He decided he was going to trim his nails after dinner.
A little blue eyed, brown hair bunny rabbit hopped in front of Legolas. He smiled at the little thing as he unsheathed his knife. Pippin was going to be very happy. He had been complaining of the lack of variety in their food.
Suddenly, the rabbit hopped away. Legolas ran after it with his knife waving in the air. The rabbit hopped over to a big oak tree and stood there trembling.
Legolas smiled at the baby as he jabbed the knife forward. However, the rabbit ducked under a loose root unexpectedly and hopped away. Legolas tripped and accidentally cut himself on the cheek.
He screeched and pulled out a compact, checking the skin. He frowned. It was probably going to scar. Legolas sat down and started to cry softly. Now he was never going to beat Galadriel in that beauty contest!
He sniffed pitifully a few times and looked up, hoping that one of the company was there to fawn over him. There was no one there. Legolas was about to start crying again, louder this time, when something blue caught his eye.
It was underneath a flowering bush. Legolas stooped down gracefully and picked it up. He gasped in joy. It was a full bottle of Herbal Essences shampoo! Even better, it was his favorite scent! The one he had with him was one of Elrond's old bottles, and it was almost empty.
Legolas started to prance around in joy, forgetting his cheek. Suddenly, he stopped and frowned. There was something wrong with the shampoo. He sniffed it a few times and wrinkled his nose. The shampoo smelled like Orc!
He started to turn to get Aragorn, but the bottle would not go forward. Legolas tugged at it in frustration and finally an almost invisible wire attached to it snapped. He looked up as a giant magical net fell over his head.
Legolas screamed in agony. He was just sure, sure, sure he would have rope burns on his face now!
~~ ~~~ ~~ ~~~ ~~ In the meadow, Sam was trying to teach Boromir how to cook venison the "proper" way. Pippin was watching them, licking his lips every then and now. Merry was hopping around the three, waving his hobbit sword around. Aragorn and Frodo were sitting on a really big rock. Gimli was asleep next to the cooking fire. Gandalf was doing loops in the sky, along with some chirping sparrows.
Aragorn frowned. "There's something wrong with today," he mused. "Something in the air."
"Yeah," said Frodo. "It's Gandalf. He's starting to scare me too."
"Not that," Aragorn snapped. "I mean, not him. Something else. Something evil."
"How can you say that? I mean, just look around. This is just about as happy and good as you can get."
"Still. well, I suppose you're right." Aragorn shook his head. "It all seems very blond, if you know what I mean?"
"Like Legolas?"
"Yes. Say, where is he?"
"I think he's bathing in that spring over there. Either that or washing his hair again."
Aragorn shuddered. "Sam got our water from that spring." He looked to the water. "I don't see him."
"Maybe he went in the forest," Frodo suggested. He fluttered his eyelashes at a pair of butterflies that had landed on his nose. Aragorn shuddered again.
Sam stood up, banging on a cooking pot. "Dinner is ready," he called. Gimli opened one eye. Gandalf fell down from the sky and landed next to a little brown bunny with blue eyes. He petted the little thing. It whimpered cutely.
Merry stopped bouncing around and plopped down next to the fire. Pippin was so excited that dinner was ready that he fell over. Frodo helped him up. Aragorn looked one last time over at the spring before walking over to the dinner spread.
Sam spooned out the tomato soup and gave every pieces of garlic bread. Boromir proudly displayed the venison that he had cooked all by himself! (Almost.) Then he cut everyone a big piece. Gandalf started feeding some of his to the rabbit in his lap.
Pippin looked at the cooking pot lovingly. "I can't believe that Legolas would miss a meal just to wash his stupid blond hair."
"Watch it," Gimli said. "Legolas would skin you alive if he heard that."
"Besides," Gandalf said, "we can't all be blond."
"Thank goodness," Aragorn muttered.
"I'm telling Legolas you said that," Gandalf announced. "And everyone, I'm naming this rabbit Glen. And everyone should call him Glenny, all right?"
Glenny sniffed a piece of grass as canaries fluttered past the company.
~~ ~~~ ~~ ~~~ ~~ ~~~ ~~
A/N: What do you think? There's a very convenient way to tell me.