Keith

Well, in two more days I'll only have 3 weeks left of being a prisoner, I thought drily as I rode my bike home from football practice Thursday afternoon. It was a beauiful fall day, sunny and slightly chilly, with a slight breeze that was enough to send the last of the leaves down. I only wished I could enjoy it. But no chance there- not when my life was such a wreck. The last few days at Wacko hadn't been the greatest, to put it lightly. After Beth tricked me into admitting I'd taken Jana's stupid, stupid necklace, just about every kid in school was giving me the cold shoulder. Well, maybe not most of the underclassman, but I didn't associate with them anyway, so what did it matter what they thought? The important people were the ones in my grade... and all the girls and even most of the boys were treating me pretty cooly. A couple of the boys actually thought it was hilarious how I had turned myself in and gotten beat by a girl (my ex to boot), but a lot of them, especially Randy's close friends- Shane Arrington, Tony Calcaterra and Scott Daly to name a few- thought it was pretty low of me to not only steal it, but then lie about it. And the girls, well... they were a lot meaner than just ignoring me. For instance, a couple girls I'd known from grade school had left a pretty nasty note on my locker Monday after school, and then at lunch on Tuesday when I'd sat down at a lunch table where Bill Kingman was sitting (he was still treating me about the same), all five of the girls who'd been seated there, too, stood up at the same time and sailed off to a different table without a word! Of course, only the entire cafeteria saw it and snickered, but what did I care? I'd had a lot of people down on me before and I'd survived- I'd do it again. In a few weeks, I knew things would be back to normal with me and the guys anyway. And probably a lot of the girls would be over it by then, too. Especially the girls who weren't good friends with Jana, like The Fantastic Foursome.

But that still didn't make me feel much better NOW. I couldn't ignore the fact that Jana hated me again, and with reason. I knew it'd been dumb of me to steal her necklace... to think I could break her and Randy up with it and then somehow squeeze in. I don't know what I'd been thinking... except maybe just that I thought somehow, just somehow, I'd get Jana in the end. But now I was farther from that than ever. How did things get here? I wondered, slowing down a bit as I turned a corner. Only a few weeks ago, Jana and I were pretty good friends and things were looking so great. And now...

"Dang!" I cried as I noticed a kid's toy in the center of the sidewalk where I'd been riding and swung around quickly to try and avoid it. But I swung too much and I lost my balance. I managed to catch myself gently as I fell off my bike, but in trying to keep my bike from crashing onto my legs, my backpack dropped off. Unfortunatly, for some reason I hadn't had the zipper zipped up much and my notebook and half of my books fell out and scattered on the sidewalk. I sat there a moment, holding onto my bike and gazing around at the mess, knowing it must be such a comical sight that people in the surrounding houses had be standing by their windows laughing their heads off. I sighed, not even really caring. There always was that saying that when things reach rock bottom, there's no place to go but up. At least I had THAT to hang onto. As I started to move, someone reached down and picked my bike up, then leaned it on its kickstand.

"Need some help?"

I glanced up and was startled to see Jana of all people standing there. I had been avoiding her like the flu all week because I didn't want to face her wrath. But she didn't look too mad right now. Not exactly happy, but actually sort of amused. Not that I blamed her.

"Um, sure," I said slowly, scrambling to my feet. "I, uh, had kind of a spill." I added quickly, picking up my backpack and stuffing my notebook back into it.

"Yeah, I noticed," she replied with a hint of laughter in her voice, reaching down to gather some papers that had escaped my notebook and were threatening to blow away. I went to work myself, trying to concentrate on collecting my books and ignoring how pretty the fall sunshine looked on her hair.

A moment later, Jana handed me the last book and started to turn away. "Well, that's the last of it."

"Thanks," I replied quickly, then I reached out and touched her arm. "Jana... I mean, can I... um, well... I... I mean..."

She turned back around to face me, her expression blank.

I sighed and made a face. "You're not helping."

She actually laughed. "Helping? Helping you do what? Stutter out nonsense sentences? Believe me, you're doing fine without MY assistance."

"Very funny," I retorted, swinging my backpack on. "Look, I just wanted to say I'm sorry."

"You already did, Keith. Remember? After you gave me my necklace back." Her hand automatically went up to her neck where she began fingering the chain.

"I know, and I meant it then. But I just wanted to... well, I don't know. I feel like saying sorry isn't enough. What I mean is... I want to make it up to you, but I don't know how."

She sighed and looked up at the tree above us.

"Just leave me alone," she replied calmly. "Quit coming to me talking about how you just want to be friends, then pulling ridiculous pranks that almost cost me my reputation. Or getting under my boyfriend's skin just for kicks, and then after everything, coming and apologizing, promising to change but never actually doing it." She looked me squarly in my eyes. "That's what you can do to make it up to me."

I swallowed hard and stared down at the sidewalk. She was actually telling me to get out of her life... but as much as I hated to admit it, the points she made against me were valid. I had majorly screwed up this time, and I *had* to pay the consequences. Those consequences this time being losing Jana's friendship.

Suddenly she reached out and touched my shoulder. When I looked up at her, she didn't look annoyed anymore, she just looked sad. "I wanted to be your friend, Keith, I really did," she said wistfully. "Not at first, I have to admit. I couldn't help remembering what a jerk you'd been to me last year, and especially to Beth, who I think finally got some peace from your treatment to her when she got to put you in your place Monday morning."

She was probably right about that, I thought. Though it still didn't excuse her from it. At least when I broke up with her, I didn't wreck HER reputation.

"But then after I decided to give you a chance and spent some time with you on our school project," Jana continued. "I started to see that you have some really good points."

"Yeah? Like what?" I challenged sarcastically. "Please give me a few in case I have to defend myself against more members of the We Hate Keith Masterson club this week."

She shook her head. "You brought this all on yourself, Keith, and you know it." She sighed and pushed a strand of dark hair behind her ear. "Look, I just think that although you can be a a really insensitive jerk, you might not be so bad if you just tried harder. What I mean to say is, that under the outside jerk, you have potential." The she shook her head again, and waved her hand. "I shouldn't have said all that- I really have to get home. See ya."

"No, wait, Jana," I said quickly. "I deserve anything bad you said about me, and I appreciate the um, compliments. But no matter what I am- please, can't you forgive me? Again?"

She rolled her eyes. "Boy, this sounds familar. Look Keith- I think it's pretty pointless for me to 'forgive you' and all that AGAIN, because so far, it really hasn't done much good. What time is this? Third, fourth? How long is this going to go on? Like, if I were to say 'let's be friends' again, what are you going to pull next that'll come close to ruining my life?"

I cringed. "I know, I know. I haven't been exactly Mr. Consistency... or maybe I have." I grinned and she rolled her eyes again. "But in all seriousness," I added quickly. "Please give me one more chance. Just one. That's all I ask. Please please please. I promise I won't do anything this time!"

"Keith-"

"No, really! I mean it." I got down on my knees in front of her and held my clasped hands up towards her. Might as well do this all out if I'm going to do it at all. "If you forgive me just this one more time, I'll be a new man. I promise. I won't bug you, I won't get your boyfriend mad- at least I'll try not to-, I'll go out with lots of other girls and not hit on you, I'll tell everyone that I don't like you like that at all anymore and if *I* say that, then they'll HAVE to believe it-" I babbled.

"Keith!!" Jana half squealed, half laughed, stopping me in the middle of my speech. "Get up, you idiot! What if someone from school passed by?!" She grabbed my arm and pulled me up, laughing. Then she sighed and started playing with her necklace again. "I'd really like to believe you, Keith. Honest. But I just feel like I can't trust you at all. Do you have any idea what my friends would say if I told them I forgave you? Again? They'd think I'd gone crazy."

I made a face. "I realize that, but... look, Jana. I'm really not stupid. I know I've totally blown any tiny chance I may have had with you. So it's not like I think I can get somewhere with you, at least any time within the next 40 years."

Jana smiled. Then looked serious again. "Then why do you want me to forgive you? What's the new trick up your sleeve? If you have a crush on one of The Fab Five now, you better forget it."

I laughed. "No, no, no. No trick- promise." I held up hands in surrender. "I just want to know that you don't hate me."

"I don't hate you, Keith."

"Ok, but what about like me? As a friend, obviously," I added quickly. "Would you be willing to be nice to me in public, not just nice to me when no one's watching?"

"Well, I wouldn't come up and hug you if that's what you mean," Jana said.

I rolled my eyes. "Duh. But I mean it- could you? Could we try the friends thing one more time? I swear on my life that if I blow it again and break your trust, you can do whatever you want to me. Cut my leg off, pour scalding oil over me- anything. I mean it."

Jana tilted her head and looked me straight on. "You're serious, aren't you?"

"I've learned my lesson!" I said quickly. And I had. Well, I think I did.

"Yeah, sure," Jana laughed. Then she sighed. "Look, I'll have to think about it. I distinctly remember a conversation a LOT like this one only a little over a week ago, and look what happened after that, but... I don't really see the point in totally ignoring you forever." She looked at me again. "I'm not going to say you can sit with my friends and me in Bumpers or anything like that ever, or hang around anytime when I'm with my friends, mainly because they'd freak. But I don't think we have to be on the level where I ignore you and diss you and stuff." She shrugged. "I dunno. It's so hard to say right now."

"I know," I agreed. "I really blew it this time, didn't I?"

"Yeah, big time," she replied. She frowned at me. "I just can't believe you'd do that. Actually STEAL my property and then lie about it! I mean honestly, Keith? What were you thinking?"

"I don't know, honest I don't." I shook my head. "I guess I thought that somehow it would break you and Randy up. I don't really know how I would have gotten in there, but for a moment, it really seemed like it would work." I sighed. "I think if I'd had more time to think it through, I would never have done it. But I had only a few seconds and I knew I had to take it or leave it. It was really stupid, I admit. And I'm really, really sorry. I am. Like you said on the school grounds, from all the stuff I pull, it seems like I hate you."

"Well, it does end up seeming that way," she laughed. She glanced at her watch. "Man, I really have to go. I promised my mom I'd start dinner tonight." She glanced at me. "Aren't you still on restriction?"

"23 days to go!" I cheered, and she giggled.

"Poor guy," she said with a grin. "I do feel bad for you in that respect. Can't you get your dad to let up at all?"

I shook my head. "Nah, when he makes up his mind, it's made up." I shrugged. "Maybe it's a blessing in disguise though. It'll give you more time to think about everything I've said without me around to bug you about it."

She smiled and shifted her backpack. "Yeah. Maybe you're right there. For once."

"Hey!" I said, pretending to be mad. "Give me more credit than that!"

She shook her head. "Nope, you don't deserve it." She pointed to her watch. "How are you going to explain being so late to your dad?"

I glanced around. "Bike accident. Or no- I think I'll tell him I was helping an old lady carry groceries home or something. Maybe THAT'LL get him to think about lessening my punishment."

Jana laughed. "Yeah, good idea. I think you need all the help you can get."

"My, we're certainly getting our kicks now, aren't we?" I teased.

"I think I'm allowed," she replied, sticking her tongue out at me. Amazing how some people can do that and still look beautiful. "Bye, Keith. See you at school," she added as she started down the sidewalk. Then she turned around and winked. "Maybe I'll say 'hi'."

"I'll be praying about it," I called back and she laughed again, her wonderful adorable laugh. I felt a lot happier on the rest of the way home. So what if I went back to school and half the kids still snubbed me? At least Jana was willing to still be my friend. Or at least not my enemy. I knew she had the right to think about it some more, but I was pretty hopeful that she wouldn't go back to snubbing me like she did after last year's fiasco. And maybe we'd last the rest of the year, too, as I totally planned on keeping my promise and not getting into anymore trouble involving her again. It was like the saying on the D.U.I. signs- 'You can't afford it.' And I couldn't- I'd blown it so many times with Jana in just the past few weeks!

And hey, I thought, as I pulled into my driveway a few minutes later. Sure I still thought Jana was the prettiest girl I knew and definitely the nicest (especially after all I've put her through), but there were other girls at school. Lots of other girls. Maybe it was time that I definitely moved on, checked out other options. Right now, I was Jana's friend- just her friend- but I was totally cool with that. Totally satisfied.

Well... until maybe next year, anyway.

Just kidding!!