Disclaimer: I do not own the Suzaku Seven or their Miko but I do own the TV :)
Bwa ha ha ha, what do I have in store for our friend Tasuki? Well…I'll just say that he's not gonna like it all that much (evil grin).
Tasuki and the TV
"Where the fuck am I?" Tasuki muttered to himself as he carefully stood up in a small black room. He could remember turning on the TV but then a white light had appeared and had blinded him. When the spots had finally cleared from his eyes he found that he wasn't in Konan anymore. The room was narrow with a high ceiling at least forty feet above his head. Nothing furnished the room and the only light came from a small speck in the distance. He scratched his head wondering what the hell he was gonna do now. The small speck seemed like a good place to start so Tasuki began to walk towards it. The pocket of his jacket felt lumpy as he walked indicating that there was something in it. He reached in and pulled out the TV remote that he had fixed after he had crushed it with his boot back at the palace. It still looked the same except that the little lights on it were now lit up and flickering every few moments.
Better hold onto this thing, might come in handy, he thought and replaced it back in his jacket pocket. The speck in the distance grew larger as he approached it and soon he found himself standing in a doorway to another room only this room had bright white walls, ceiling, and floor that crackled with black lines and dots. Across at the other end of the room there was another door and Tasuki, finding that this static was increasingly annoying, headed for it. The next room was smaller than the last two and had coloured bars running lengthwise down it and a hum even more annoying than the static. Tasuki could see some small inscriptions moving across the walls near the floor and bent closer to see what they said.
We have lost transmission for this show, please stand by…We have lost transmission for this show, please change channel…
It kept repeating over and over and was confusing Tasuki.
"What the hell is a transmission?" he grumbled but then noticed the last part of the sentence. "Change the channel? Wha?…Oh! The remote changes channels! Maybe that's what it means!" Tasuki dug the remote out from his pocket and hit a button marked Channel Change.
The barred room immediately disappeared and was replaced by a very large and bright and loud room with a ton of people cheering and clapping. Tasuki found himself sitting right in the center of the crowd and he looked around widely trying to figure out where the hell the remote had taken him. Bright spotlights shone down from above and smaller coloured lights lit up signs along every wall and one that hung down from the ceiling. The floor was slanted downwards and at the bottom of the slant there was a huge stage with a white haired man standing on it. Suddenly a booming voice rang through the room over powering the crowd's yells of excitement.
"YES BOB I DO! SHICHISENSHI TASUKI COME ON DOWN! YOU ARE THE NEXT CONTESTANT ON THE PRICE IS RIGHT!!!!"
The crowd around Tasuki went wild and began clapping him on the shoulder and yelling encouraging things like "congratulations" and "hope you win". Tasuki was about to tell them to go to hell when he suddenly realized that he had stood up and was now on his way down to the stage. His feet and body seemed to move on its own agenda and soon he was standing next to three other people who were placed behind some kind of flashy box. The man on the stage spoke up directing his conversation at Tasuki.
"Congratulations son! Welcome to the Price is Right! Wow, what a loyal fan you are!"
"Huh?" said a very confused Tasuki.
"Rob let's get this young kid's shirt on the camera. Look at that everyone!"
Tasuki glanced down and suddenly noticed that he was wearing different and strange clothing, a pair of blue pants made of weird material and a white short-sleeved shirt that had an inscription across it's front.
"It makes my day when I see that I'm appreciated," continued Bob Barker. "His shirt says I came all the way from Ancient China to meet Bob, now isn't that sweet. Okay then let's play The Price is Right!"
With those words the lights flashed and Bob pointed to a big green door. "Look what we have for you today!" A slim and perky blond came out from the door and pushed before her a strange looking silver object.
"This Bob is the Stereomaster 4000 Boom Box with nine disk changer and three duel cassette holders. Comes with five surround sound speakers and made by the lovely people of Sony Enterprises!" Explained Rob over the speakers. The audience gasped with awe and immediately started yelling out numbers.
"Okay Tasuki you are the newest contestant so you get the first bid."
"What the *beep* are you talking about?" Tasuki said defensively.
Bob laughed dryly, "You have to guess how much the Boom Box is worth, son."
"What the *beep* is a *beepin'* boom box?!?" he yelled back.
Bob frowned coldly and went over close to Tasuki. He put his hand over the microphone and leaned in close to Tasuki's ear. "Listen kid, just pick a fucking number so we can get on with the fucking show. You got it?" he hissed. Bob went back onto the stage and gave everyone a big toothy smile. "So Tasuki, what do you BID," he said, emphasizing the word.
"F…Five?" Tasuki stuttered.
"There we go folks, five hundred dollars is his bid!" The crowd cheered and the next player took their turn. When it came to the guy next to Tasuki he hesitated.
"Umm, five o' one Bob!"
"Okay last bid is five hundred and one. The person with the closest bid to the actual retail price without going over will get to go on to play The Price is Right! So, the actual price is…"
Tasuki found himself crossing his fingers for some reason.
"Is….five hundred and five dollars!! The winner is Stanley!" The guy next to Tasuki began jumping up and down excitedly and Tasuki found himself filled with rage.
"You *beep beep beeper* you cheated!!! I would've won that thing you *beep beep*. I'm gonna kick your *beep*!" Tasuki yelled as he grabbed the man by the collar and started shaking him.
"Stop!! Jesus *beep* Christ will someone get that kid out of here before he ruins my *beepin'* show!!" screamed Barker as he motioned his bouncers to take Tasuki away. Tasuki saw them coming and let go of the man.
"*Beep* this shit, I'm getting the *beep* outta here!" he cursed as he felt for the remote in his pant pockets. He managed to grab it and hit the button just before the bouncers leapt for him, the white light came again and The Price is Right faded into the distance.