Author's Note: This is a short chapter. It sorta just came to me and I had
to add it in. It's short and pretty sad but it's important to the story.
Hope you like it.
Chapter 4: I'll Wait
I know you're out there Standing in the shadows. I can feel you watching me Keeping me safe. Is that why you won't step out? Because I will not be safe, Is that why you hide? All right then, I'll give you what you want for now, I will smile and pretend to be happy. I will put on my mask and pretend to live. But it is not living like you think. I am slowly dying inside while you are away. But we will be together again someday. I will make sure of that. Someday, No matter how long it will take. I'll wait.
~~~Aya-chan's POV~~~
"Bye guys. I'll see you tomorrow." I waved and smiled to my friends as they disappeared around the corner. I turned around and walked towards my apartment.
It looked as though it was going to rain soon. I frowned. I hated the rain. It always made me feel so sad. It always made me remember him. He always loved the rain. He once said if you stood out in the rain long enough you could hear the heavens cry. But all I could ever hear were my tears falling. I used to laugh at him and tell him he was too serious and too dramatic. But now I understand that he was only deep. He only said what he felt. He only said what he knew. Only now have I learned to admire that. I miss him so, all of his odd little comments, his over protective nature, his laugh, and his smile. I never realized until now how much he meant to me and how much I needed him.
When we were young I would get mad at him for babying me, or being too concerned over me. But I needed him so much. He took care of me. He protected me. My mother and father were never around much. He had his job, and she had her social life that we were forced into now and again. He and I were left to fend for ourselves most of the time.
When we grew older life became more difficult. Everything we did seemed to matter. Everything in our lives reflected on our parents. My mother started paying more attention to me, and my father to him. I was taught how to be a lady and given language lessons, music lessons, and lessons on every other thing a proper lady should have so that I would be cultured and refined. I excelled in every lesson I was given. I hated those lessons. Everyday they reminded me that I was only a commodity to my parents. As they climbed the social latter I could be auctioned off to some well bread family for a wife. I was displayed like a trophy to all of the elite. I can just hear my mother now. "Look at my daughter. Will she not make such a fine wife? She is so talented, you know?" Of course my family was not against a woman having an education or having a career as long as she knew that her family came first.
Family? That word seems so foreign to me. How could I consider them my family? They treated me like I was a possession and the rest of the world only looked to me because of my parent's money. He was the only one who treated me like a human being. He was the only family I will admit to having.
As awful as I thought I had it I always knew he had it worse. Mother was ashamed of him because of the way he looked. I think she hated him sometimes. Father simply said that it could be fixed. He made him dye his hair and wear contacts. No son of his was going to look like a freak he always used to say.
I never looked at him that way. He was beautiful, inside and out. I only wish they could have seen it. Because of their ridicule he never saw what I could see. He thought the same as them. He was a freak. He never saw anything good in him. But I did. I was the only one who he ever let see the real him. For everyone else he would put on a mask and be exactly what they wanted him to be. He was popular, and he was loved by my father. He had a beautiful girlfriend and lots of friends. And yet he was still not happy. I don't even think he knew it. I don't think he knew what he really was or what our family did to him. I was the only one who could see what they were. I was the only one who could see what he was, even if he couldn't see it.
God, I miss him so.
I feel something watching me. I turn to see if someone is there. The street is empty and quiet. I wonder if it was him.
I turn back around and continue walking down the street. I know he watches me. I know he is there. How? I don't know. I suppose that when you're so close to someone then you can feel their presence. That's how I know that he is alive. I never let anyone know of my feeling. I never told anyone that I knew. I must say, I am a good actress. I pretend like everyone else that he is dead. But I know that his friends are lying. I do it for him. I do it because for whatever reason he has he doesn't want me to know that he is alive. He always wanted me to be happy. So I must lie and pretend that I am for his sake. I must trust him now and go along with his lie. I must do it for him. He is not ready to tell me that he is alive. I know that something is going on with him and his friends. I may have been asleep for four years but I am not stupid. The money in my bank account didn't just suddenly appear. I know how to count. I know a florist could never make that much and manage to pay off the hospital bills for four years. Something has happened in his life that has made him believe that he can't be with me. He has always been so stubborn. But in time he always comes around. In time he will realize that I would rather be in danger than be without him. That's what I hope anyway. It takes a lot of whacks in the head sometimes for him to see the truth.
Sometimes I wonder if I tell Ken how much I need him if he will show up. Sometimes I wonder if he ever knew how much I needed him. I tried so hard to not need him when I was younger and now I need him so much it scares me. His distant presence is the only thing that keeps me alive. Knowing that he is still there keeps me hoping. It keeps me breathing day after day.
I know it hurts Ken when I talk about him. I know he wants to tell me. Sometimes I talk about him on purpose just to see how far I can push him. I know I'm mean but he is lying to me isn't he? He's the one hiding my brother up in that flower shop. He's lucky I haven't shot him by now.
I like Ken. His presence comforts me. And then there's a point where I feel sad to be around him. He doesn't even know the real me. All he knows is the trophy daughter that I was bread to be. Maybe I don't even know who I am. Maybe he did. Maybe he knew who I really was just like I knew him. The thought makes me smile.
I reach the building where I live and head over to where the mailbox is. I pull out a couple of letters. The first one is from Sakura. I tuck the letter into my pocket with a small smile and head towards the elevator. As the doors close I glance down at the other letter and read the address.
As the doors open again the letter falls from my trembling hands leaving me to stare at it in silent disbelief.
~~~TBC~~~
Heheheh aren't I evil leaving you to wonder who the letter was from? ::evil grin::
Yes I brought Aya-chan into this story. I think she will add another look into her brother's world.
I hope this chapter let people in on some of Ran and Aya's past. I really hope you liked it. The next chapter will be up next week or sooner I hope.
Thank you for all of the reviews. It's in the double digits now. ^_____^ Hey what can I say I have cheap thrills. And please excuse the grammar. I suck at it and don't always read over it a lot. ^_^;;;;;;;;;; It's this damn train of thought style of writing that is killing me. It's hard to write correctly that way. Ah well, review, review, review. ^____^
Chapter 4: I'll Wait
I know you're out there Standing in the shadows. I can feel you watching me Keeping me safe. Is that why you won't step out? Because I will not be safe, Is that why you hide? All right then, I'll give you what you want for now, I will smile and pretend to be happy. I will put on my mask and pretend to live. But it is not living like you think. I am slowly dying inside while you are away. But we will be together again someday. I will make sure of that. Someday, No matter how long it will take. I'll wait.
~~~Aya-chan's POV~~~
"Bye guys. I'll see you tomorrow." I waved and smiled to my friends as they disappeared around the corner. I turned around and walked towards my apartment.
It looked as though it was going to rain soon. I frowned. I hated the rain. It always made me feel so sad. It always made me remember him. He always loved the rain. He once said if you stood out in the rain long enough you could hear the heavens cry. But all I could ever hear were my tears falling. I used to laugh at him and tell him he was too serious and too dramatic. But now I understand that he was only deep. He only said what he felt. He only said what he knew. Only now have I learned to admire that. I miss him so, all of his odd little comments, his over protective nature, his laugh, and his smile. I never realized until now how much he meant to me and how much I needed him.
When we were young I would get mad at him for babying me, or being too concerned over me. But I needed him so much. He took care of me. He protected me. My mother and father were never around much. He had his job, and she had her social life that we were forced into now and again. He and I were left to fend for ourselves most of the time.
When we grew older life became more difficult. Everything we did seemed to matter. Everything in our lives reflected on our parents. My mother started paying more attention to me, and my father to him. I was taught how to be a lady and given language lessons, music lessons, and lessons on every other thing a proper lady should have so that I would be cultured and refined. I excelled in every lesson I was given. I hated those lessons. Everyday they reminded me that I was only a commodity to my parents. As they climbed the social latter I could be auctioned off to some well bread family for a wife. I was displayed like a trophy to all of the elite. I can just hear my mother now. "Look at my daughter. Will she not make such a fine wife? She is so talented, you know?" Of course my family was not against a woman having an education or having a career as long as she knew that her family came first.
Family? That word seems so foreign to me. How could I consider them my family? They treated me like I was a possession and the rest of the world only looked to me because of my parent's money. He was the only one who treated me like a human being. He was the only family I will admit to having.
As awful as I thought I had it I always knew he had it worse. Mother was ashamed of him because of the way he looked. I think she hated him sometimes. Father simply said that it could be fixed. He made him dye his hair and wear contacts. No son of his was going to look like a freak he always used to say.
I never looked at him that way. He was beautiful, inside and out. I only wish they could have seen it. Because of their ridicule he never saw what I could see. He thought the same as them. He was a freak. He never saw anything good in him. But I did. I was the only one who he ever let see the real him. For everyone else he would put on a mask and be exactly what they wanted him to be. He was popular, and he was loved by my father. He had a beautiful girlfriend and lots of friends. And yet he was still not happy. I don't even think he knew it. I don't think he knew what he really was or what our family did to him. I was the only one who could see what they were. I was the only one who could see what he was, even if he couldn't see it.
God, I miss him so.
I feel something watching me. I turn to see if someone is there. The street is empty and quiet. I wonder if it was him.
I turn back around and continue walking down the street. I know he watches me. I know he is there. How? I don't know. I suppose that when you're so close to someone then you can feel their presence. That's how I know that he is alive. I never let anyone know of my feeling. I never told anyone that I knew. I must say, I am a good actress. I pretend like everyone else that he is dead. But I know that his friends are lying. I do it for him. I do it because for whatever reason he has he doesn't want me to know that he is alive. He always wanted me to be happy. So I must lie and pretend that I am for his sake. I must trust him now and go along with his lie. I must do it for him. He is not ready to tell me that he is alive. I know that something is going on with him and his friends. I may have been asleep for four years but I am not stupid. The money in my bank account didn't just suddenly appear. I know how to count. I know a florist could never make that much and manage to pay off the hospital bills for four years. Something has happened in his life that has made him believe that he can't be with me. He has always been so stubborn. But in time he always comes around. In time he will realize that I would rather be in danger than be without him. That's what I hope anyway. It takes a lot of whacks in the head sometimes for him to see the truth.
Sometimes I wonder if I tell Ken how much I need him if he will show up. Sometimes I wonder if he ever knew how much I needed him. I tried so hard to not need him when I was younger and now I need him so much it scares me. His distant presence is the only thing that keeps me alive. Knowing that he is still there keeps me hoping. It keeps me breathing day after day.
I know it hurts Ken when I talk about him. I know he wants to tell me. Sometimes I talk about him on purpose just to see how far I can push him. I know I'm mean but he is lying to me isn't he? He's the one hiding my brother up in that flower shop. He's lucky I haven't shot him by now.
I like Ken. His presence comforts me. And then there's a point where I feel sad to be around him. He doesn't even know the real me. All he knows is the trophy daughter that I was bread to be. Maybe I don't even know who I am. Maybe he did. Maybe he knew who I really was just like I knew him. The thought makes me smile.
I reach the building where I live and head over to where the mailbox is. I pull out a couple of letters. The first one is from Sakura. I tuck the letter into my pocket with a small smile and head towards the elevator. As the doors close I glance down at the other letter and read the address.
As the doors open again the letter falls from my trembling hands leaving me to stare at it in silent disbelief.
~~~TBC~~~
Heheheh aren't I evil leaving you to wonder who the letter was from? ::evil grin::
Yes I brought Aya-chan into this story. I think she will add another look into her brother's world.
I hope this chapter let people in on some of Ran and Aya's past. I really hope you liked it. The next chapter will be up next week or sooner I hope.
Thank you for all of the reviews. It's in the double digits now. ^_____^ Hey what can I say I have cheap thrills. And please excuse the grammar. I suck at it and don't always read over it a lot. ^_^;;;;;;;;;; It's this damn train of thought style of writing that is killing me. It's hard to write correctly that way. Ah well, review, review, review. ^____^