Disclaimer: I know, I know…I don't own the Fushigi Yugi story, or Konan, or…(sob) my favourite monk and bandit (sob sob). Don't worry, I'll be alright…one day :P

Aww it's a sad thing now because this is the last channel that Tasuki will visit (as mentioned in the last chapter)

Tasuki: About fuckin' time!

But not the last chapter.

Tasuki: What?!? Fuck!!!

Bwa ha ha ha…oh how I love being so evil :)

Tasuki and the TV

As his vision cleared Tasuki had to hold onto his stomach to keep from throwing up. The last channel change had shook him around a bit and now the sheep testicles were causing some major mayhem. This is gonna hurt me tomorrow, Tasuki thought as he carefully breathed in and out trying to get some control over the rumbling. Where the fuck did that fuckin' thing take me to this time? The room he was in was decorated in the weirdest manner. Hearts and rainbows and cuddly little animals adorned the walls and there were brightly coloured objects of some foreign material scattered all over the floor. The carpet Tasuki was sitting on had even more hearts on it and was pink in colour. The urge to vomit washed over him again and he fought it down with all his might. All of this sickening sweetness was disgusting!

Tasuki slowly got to his feet and began dusting himself off only to realize that his clothing had changed again. Dammit! I hate this fucking shit! He was now wearing a white and blue stripped shirt with a small bear on its chest, and ribbed cotton pants, which made weird noises when he moved his legs together. Panic began to surge over him upon seeing that his pants didn't have pockets. Where's the remote?! Shit, I can't get back without it! He frantically looked around the room and suddenly stopped as he noticed his reflection in the mirror. What?! I look like I'm fuckin' five years old! True enough, Tasuki was the height of a five year old, the build of a five year old, and had the mouth of an eighteen year old bandit.

"This is worse than that Tasukimon thing," he cried in a tiny five-year-old voice. His hair stuck up in odd angles and he saw that his fangs had even shrunken to small stubs. He was even missing one of his front teeth!

"Ahhhhh!!!" he shrieked.

I have to get out of here before I go totally nuts! Tasuki went over to a coat rack and began searching through it for the remote. He managed to find some chewed gum, a ball, some rocks, and a frog but nothing of use. He felt a sob coming up his throat but swallowed it down with rage. I will not cry! That's something babies do! I will not cry! He told himself mentally. He collapsed on the rug in frustration.

"I want my mommy!" he cried, unable to hold it in any longer, and his thumb went into his mouth. He sat there for about ten minutes before finally snapping out of it.

"What the fuck am I doing?!? I'm eighteen fucking years old! Not some little brat who sucks his thumb!" he said in disgust.

Suddenly there came sounds of laughter from behind the only door in the room. Uh oh, someone's coming! Tasuki got up and tried to hide but the door was thrown open just as he was crossing the center of the room. About ten other kids, around Tasuki's current age, came in with giggles and laughs and they were all singing an annoying song.

"Farmer Brown he had a dog and Bingo was his name-o! B, I, N, G, O…B, I, N, G, O…B, I, N, G, O…and Bingo was his name-o!" they all chanted as they skipped into a circle that surrounded Tasuki. One of the kids noticed him.

"Hey look! It's our friend Tasuki!"

"I'm not your fri…" Tasuki tried but was cut off.

"It's his first day here with us! Let's give him a big welcome hug!"

"Wha…NO NO NO NO!!!!" Tasuki screamed as they all swarmed in and smothered him. "Ack!! Ack!!!" he tried to breathe. Finally they let go and dropped him on the rug with a thump. Tasuki gasped in huge breaths and skidded back away from them. Shit! More fuckin' psychos!

"Look what I have!" cried one of the kids, and held up a purple stuffed creature that Tasuki couldn't identify. The little girl placed it on a chair and all of the other kids began skipping around it.

"Maybe if we're happy enough our friend will come and play with us!" one of them cried.

"Yes, yes! We must be happy!" they chanted along.

There was a big flash of purple and sparkles and the toy suddenly grew and became alive. Tasuki's mouth dropped open as he stared up at it.

"Hoi hoi hoi," it laughed and jumped up and down.

"Yay! It's Barney!" the children cried. They all went in and hugged it around its huge stomach.

"Hello boys and girls! My it's so wonderful to have so many friends!" Barney said giddily. His beady eyes turned to Tasuki. "But what's this? Someone isn't happy to see me!"

"Oh that's our little friend Tasuki," explained a boy.

"I'm not little!"

"It's his first day here, Barney!" they cried.

"Oh well, in that case, he probably needs a big dinosaur hug!" Barney laughed and advanced on Tasuki. The blood drained from Tasuki's face and he tried to scramble to his feet.

"Stay away from m…ack!" he cried as Barney picked him up and squeezed.

"Hoi hoi hoi," it laughed.

"Put me down!" Tasuki said, his voice slightly muffled since his mouth was pressed against Barney's purple chest.

Barney placed Tasuki back on the rug and motioned for the others to join him. "I know what would make little Tasuki happy!"

"I'm not little and I'm fucking wonderful!!" Tasuki yelled at them, but was ignored.

"We should sing a song!"

Two kids grabbed Tasuki's hands and they all formed a circle.

"What song should we sing?" one cried happily.

"I know! How about the Hokie Pokie!"

"Yay, yay!" they all cheered.

"Okay then everyone sing!" ordered Barney. "You put your left foot in, you put your left foot out, you put your left foot in then shake it all about."

Everyone shook their feet, except for Tasuki.

"You do the Hokie Pokie and you turn yourself about, that's what it's all about!"

"Uh oh. Tasuki's not singing!" a kid told Barney.

"Hoi hoi hoi, well maybe he needs another dinosaur hug!" Barney cried and came at Tasuki.

"NO NO I'LL SING!!! JUST STAY AWAY FROM ME!!" Tasuki cried, cowering behind another boy.

"Yay!! Sing Tasuki!" the kids shrieked.

"Uhh…you put your…right foot in?" Tasuki began, not knowing how the song went. However the kids obeyed what he said and he relaxed a little. "You put your right foot out, you put your right foot in and shake it all about." Tasuki gently shook his foot. The children giggled and followed his moves.

"Umm, you do the Hokie Pokie and you turn yourself about," Tasuki turned around in a circle. "That's what it's all about."

"Yay, yay! Let's do another song!" a girl cried.

"Hoi hoi hoi, hold on for a moment! I think someone special is coming!" said Barney.

"Who who?" they asked, excited.

The door was thrown open and another creature like Barney entered.

"Yay! It's Baby Bop!" the kids cried. They ran over to the smaller, green dinosaur and hugged it.

"Hee hee! It's all my friends!" Baby Bop said happily. She noticed Tasuki sitting grumpily on the floor. "Oh how cute!!!"

"Oh shit…ack!" Tasuki yelped as Baby Bop picked him up and hugged him.

"He's so cute Barney! Can I keep him?" Baby Bop asked.

"Hoi hoi hoi, he's not a toy Baby Bop," Barney explained. Tasuki sobbed internally and tried in vain to escape the creature's grasp.

"Okay, then he'll be my special friend!"

"I don't wanna, you ugly fuckin' creature!!!" Tasuki yelled.

"Ohhh, let's put on makeup!" Baby Bop said.

Tasuki's howl shook the building. He began kicking his legs and wiggling with all his might. There's no fucking way I'm letting this thing put makeup on me!!! He bit down on Baby Bop's arm and she dropped him with a cry.

"Owie!! Barney, he bit me!"

Barney tutted and shook his head before picking up Tasuki and placing him on a chair in one courner of the room.

"You've been bad so you are on a time out, little boy."

"I'm not little you freak!!!"

"Now you stay in that chair," Barney said, ignoring Tasuki. "Or else I'll give you another big dinosaur hug!" Tasuki shut up and obediently faced the wall. Barney went back to the others and Tasuki began planning out his escape. The door was a good bet except that he still didn't have the remote to get back home. Suddenly he noticed a little yellow box with his name on it. Tasuki carefully looked to Barney and Baby Bop and found that they were busy with another song. It's now or never, Tasuki thought and slowly crept along the wall over to the box. He made it there without them noticing and began rooting through it. Inside were some plastic horses, a red stuffed chicken, fake jewelry, a paper fan, and…the remote. Tasuki held it up with a successful ha! That turned out to be a bad idea though because it got Barney's attention.

"Uh oh, little Tasuki didn't stay in his chair!"

"I'M NOT LITTLE!" screamed Tasuki as the dinosaur advanced, planning to give Tasuki another big hug. Tasuki bolted for the door but found that his legs were too short to use his senshi speed. Barney was gaining. Shit! Gotta move, gotta move!!! He ran through the door and out into a courtyard. He headed for a gigantic wooden thing in its center and hid behind one of the posts. I can't stay here anymore! I'll flip, he thought as he stared at the remote. How the fuck am I gonna get home? His eyes fell on the power button. Wait…this shit started when I turned on the TV, maybe if I turn it off I'll be back home.

"Or I might just disappear," he said, uncertain of what the power button would do. Suddenly there came a vibration in the ground. "What the…" Tasuki said looking over at a nearby puddle. The ground shook again and small ripples formed in the water. The ripples increased as the vibrations came, louder and seemingly closer and Tasuki turned around and looked back at the building.

"Taaasssskkkkiiii," rumbled Barney as he appeared in the doorway. "Where are you?"

Tasuki shivered in fear as Barney came closer and closer to his hiding place.

"Hoi hoi hoi! I see you!" Barney said and ran towards Tasuki preparing to give him a huge dinosaur hug.

Tasuki bit his lip, closed his eyes and pressed the power button…

*Waa haa haa! I did it! I did a Barney chapter!

Tasuki: (still shivering in fear)

It was in my plans all along for this story but you reviewers just wanted it so much I knew that I couldn't disappoint you. Wee hee hee.

Tasuki: (sobs) I did the Hokie Pokie…almost got makeup on me…was squeezed to death…

Chichiri: It's okay Tasuki no da. It's over.

Tasuki: (sniff) It is?

Bwa ha ha ha, or is it?

Tasuki: (begins sobbing again)