The quartet continued on the road until they reached a particularly spooky part or the forest. The scarecrow, who had only been somewhat annoying, now became extremely annoying.
Scarecrow: Ooh... this place is creepy! I bet there are lots of spooky things around! Right? Right?
Dib: Sure, sure. Now will you quiet down?
Scarecrow: I bet there are lots of zombies and lions and ghosts!
Dib, sarcastically: Oh, my.
The scarecrow grinned and began to dance as the group continued on its way.
Scarecrow: Zombies and lions and ghosts, oh my! Zombies and lions and ghosts, OH MY! ZOMBIES AND LIONS AND GHOSTS, OH MY! ZOMBIES...
Before Dib could get the scarecrow to shut up, a real lion emerged from behind a tree. If he hadn't gotten used to seeing twisted versions of the people he knew, Dib would have guessed that this was Zim in another one of his pathetic disguises. The lion looked very much like his archenemy, except his skin was golden and he had a mane and tail. In a show of bravado, the lion jumped out and attempted to scare the travellers.
Lion: Grr! Flee in terror before me, the mighty LION! I rule this forest with my amazing paws! You travellers! Obey the awesome power of the great wrath of me! Run, and perhaps I, the mighty lion, will spare your pitiful stinky lives! Grr!
Scarecrow: Hi Mr. Lion!
Lion: What? You do not flee? How can you not be terrified by my awesome liony mightiness?
Scarecrow: I wanna see your fluffy mane!
Lion: No, you can not see my amazing mane, for I, the LION...
It was too late, though, for the scarecrow had gotten on top of the lion's head.
Scarecrow: Aw, it's so soft and fluffy!
Lion: Get off! Get off! Get off!
As the lion threw the scarecrow down, the tin girl snickered.
Lion: What are you looking at? If you do not stop your pathetic laughing, I shall unleash the terrifying power of my terrible...
Dib: Who are you kidding? Now, if you don't mind, we're trying to get out of here.
Lion: Quiet, shoe boy! You have incurred the wrath of the great lion, and you will regret the day you brought on my vengeful liony doom!
Before the lion could attack, however, the chihuahua walked between him and Dib. The lion, upon seeing the dog, began to panic.
Lion: Aaaah! Get it away from me! Get it away!
Dib, smirking, picked up the chihuahua.
Dib: So the mighty king of the forest is afraid of a little dog? I mean, it's a really spooky dog and all, but that's still pretty pathetic.
Lion: You speak lies! I command the fear of every animal here! Just watch me!
The lion went up to an innocent looking squirrel.
Lion: You! Obey!
Not only did the squirrel not obey, but it also chomped on the lion's head, causing the lion to flail about until he was able to get the squirrel off of his head. Once he had freed himself from the squirrel, he noticed the entire group laughing at him.
Tin Girl: Some king... can't even order a squirrel around.
Lion: I'll show you! In a matter of days, I will rule the whole forest with an iron claw! And then I'll have my animal slaves... pelt you... with acorns! Yes! And you will cower before my acorns of...
Dib: Uh huh. How exactly are you going to make them obey you?
Lion: Hmmm... hm? Hmm... Well, it's obvious that I, while still mighty, have one flaw that prevents me from ruling over these forest creatures. It can't be my amazing physical strength or my great intellect, so... I've got it! I must have low self-esteem! If I regarded myself more highly, I could easily convince the animals of my overwhelming superiority, and they would rush to bow before me, the LION!
Dib: Uh, okay...
Scarecrow: Whee! Come with us! We're gonna see the Wizard of Ak, and he can get you anything! He's gonna make me sane, and...
Dib: Do you have to invite everyone who we meet?
Scarecrow: Uh... yeah.
Lion: Hm... quite an interesting proposition. I will go with you filthy creatures, and soon you will all marvel at my self-esteem!
If I Had High Self-Esteem
Lion: I could conquer ev'ry creature,
Each squirrel and fawn and leech here,
They'd all fall to my scheme.
They, no doubt, would be bowing,
Genuflecting, and kow-towing,
If I had high self-esteem.
And once I fin'lly did reign,
My slaves' eyes would all contain,
A subservient gleam.
I would rule from up on high...
Tin Girl: I'd cause vampire pigs to die...
Scarecrow: I'd be very clever and sly...
Dib: If this guy will try to grant our ev'ry dream...
Scarecrow: Then I know I will get sane,
Tin Girl: A game,
Dib: Back home,
Lion: Esteem!
Off to See the Wizard
Dib, Scarecrow, Tin Girl, and Lion: We're off to see the Wizard,
The Wonderful Wizard of Ak.
He knows a lot about everything,
His mind could not ever lack.
If your mind you ever did try to rack,
To think of his faults, you'd be off track!
Off track, off track, off track, off track, off track!
Because for everything he has a knack!
We're off to see the Wizard,
The Wonderful Wizard of Ak!
Scarecrow: I wanna sing it again!
Dib: But you've already sung it three times! Aren't you sick of it?
Scarecrow: Uh... no! Let's sing it again!
Dib: No, let's not...
The group went off into the distance, arguing about the song. However, they did not realize that they were being watched...