The group took the broomstick to the Wizard's palace; as they entered the main room, the glowing head reappeared.
Head: Hi! It's you again! So, what's up?
Dib: We got the witch's broomstick. Now will you get us what we want?
Head: Hm... well, that does look like the witch's broomstick. Did you kill her?
Dib: Uh, well, not really. She gave us her spare so we'd leave her alone.
Head: Aw, well, that's too bad. I guess I can't grant your wishes. Bye now!
Dib: All you said was that you wanted the broomstick! You didn't say we had to kill her!
Head: Well, uh, I am the great and powerful Wizard of Ak, and you have to do as I say, so there! Seeya!
Scarecrow: Awww... pretty please with a hot fudge bacon pizza on top?
Meanwhile, the chihuahua had opened a curtain in the room. Though the tin girl, lion, and scarecrow were to busy arguing with the 'wizard' to pay attention, Dib almost immediately saw what was going on. He could make out a figure who seemed to be using controls of some sort, and he was even speaking into a microphone. As Dib inched closer towards the figure, he noticed that it looked almost exactly like his own dad, though he was a bit younger. He tapped the man's shoulder.
Man: Wha? Uh...
The man spoke into the microphone, and the glowing head seemed to follow his speech, though the voice was different.
Face: Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain! The great and powerful Ak forbids...
Dib: C'mon... who do you think you're fooling?
The man pressed a button, and the glowing head disappeared.
Scarecrow: Where'd the wizard go? Where is he?
Man: Alright, alright... I am the real Wizard of Ak.
Lion: I knew it! My keen lion senses told me that there was some filthy human behind this!
The tin girl gave the broomstick to the Wizard.
Tin Girl: Here's your stupid broomstick. You will pay if we don't get our stuff!
Wizard: Okay, one at a time. How about you, young man?
Scarecrow: Whee! I wanna be sane, silly Wizard man!
Wizard: Let me see... Well, insanity is a relative term in any case, and it is only slightly removed from eccentricity. Where I come from, we have Psychologists, and it is their job to determine whether any given person is sane or insane. And so...
The Wizard pulled out a piece of paper and handed it to the scarecrow.
Wizard: ...I will bestow upon you a certificate of sanity, signed by a highly reputable Psychologist. You are hereby declared sane.
Scarecrow: Yay! I feel sane already! Now I'm gonna do the sane dance!
As the scarecrow proceeded to dance, the Wizard approached the tin girl.
Wizard: Would you like a new leg, young lady?
Tin Girl: A leg would be okay, but I want a game, and I had better get one if you know what's good for you!
Wizard: First of all, here's a certificate for a new leg. If you turn it in before Wizard's Day, you will also get a free oiling!
Tin Girl: And the game?
The wizard rooted through a pile of electronics and took out a game system.
Wizard: Here is a brand new system, develo...
The tin girl grabbed the system and proceeded to play. The Wizard shrugged and turned towards the lion.
Wizard: What would you like?
Lion: It is my destiny to rule over the forest, but there is one thing that impedes my mighty self from controlling the pitiful forest slime! As a wise wizard, you should easily guess that, while my intellect and physical strength are amazing and worthy of a forest king, I lack the self-esteem that would make me, the mighty lion, king!
Wizard: A bit of advice: self-assessments may occasionally be biased, and you might want...
Lion: Yeah, sure, whatever. Now gimme!
Wizard: Okay... Well, where I used to live, there were people called gurus, and they would give advice to people who felt they had low self-esteem.
The Wizard got out a book entitled 'I'm Amazingly Wonderful, You're Amazingly Wonderful' and a medal.
Wizard: So, here you go. Have fun!
The lion looked at his medal.
Lion: It says 'Amazing'! It speaks the truth!
Wizard: Well, bye now!
Dib: Hey, you haven't gotten me something yet!
Wizard: Oh, you're right! Well, what do you want?
Dib: I'd like to go back home, to a planet called Earth.
Wizard: Well, that is a coincidence! I'm from Earth as well!
Dib: So you're really Professor Membrane? Not some bizarre alternative universe twin?
Wizard: I see you've heard of me.
Dib sighed. His dad could ignore him sometimes, but he would at least recognize him.
Dib: Heard of you? I'm Dib! Your son, remember?
The Wizard patted Dib on the head.
Wizard: You poor insane boy. Anyway, when I was on Earth, I had a TV show. A show that altered the lives of all who watched it, and showed the wonders of science to everyone! Once, I had put together a demonstration involving a toast-powered rocketship. Unfortunately, my ship accidentally landed in a wormhole, which took me across time and space. I ended up on this far away planet many years in the future! I was taken in by the citizens of this city, though it was tiny and devoid of technology. Once I introduced the people of Ak to the wonders of real science, they made me their ruler in gratitude. I have been on the lookout for another wormhole ever since, and I finally found one that would be opening tomorrow afternoon! You can come with me, as long as you don't mind going back ten years in time.
Dib: Hmm...
Dib pictured a twenty-year-old version of himself facing Zim and smiled. If he was fully grown by the time Zim came to Earth, he could do more about the threat.
Dib: It's a deal!
Wizard: Well, then! See you tomorrow!