I do not own any of the TNMT characters in this fiction except the four that I made up. I make no money from this. Kinko's, Rayovac, and any other name brand ain't mine either.
I wanna recognize Tinselcat and Splinter as authors of two fanfics that I borrowed very lightly from. "Midnight Snacks" uses a term of endearment ("sugar shell") that cracks me up every time; Tinselcat you are clever ^ o ^. As for Splinter's "Lifelines," I make Michelangelo promise to "tell that story later" but if you wanna know what happened, I'm afraid you'll have to read the original. That's not my story to tell, (though it's a good one – go read it!)
Kyabetsu Presents:
Hanami – Chapter 1
"Hey! Ow! Quit it Raph! How was I supposed to know you'd pick the 'evil muffin'? Geez, not like there weren't 11 others." Leonardo snorted his milk and sprayed Donnie's newspaper from across the kitchen table.
"Ew! Leo, gross! Gimme a paper towel, will ya?"
"Aarrggh! Not in the face! Not my beautiful face!"
"What the hell's going on?"
Donnie took a sip of his coffee, "Mikey got bored and decided to play "Russian roulette" with the breakfast pastries. I think that of the dozen he made, 2 of 'em were spiked with wasabe and raw garlic." Leo eyed the muffins piled on the plate in the middle of the table with growing distrust and sighed.
"You wanna play games? We'll play games, you little punk-ass!" Raph had Mikey in a headlock and was dragging him to the table. Leo gave his best "Is-this-really-necessary?" look, which Raph ignored with practiced ease. "EAT one!"
"No, no please!"
"Why not, douche-bag? There's 11 others! EAT one!" Mikey heaved a deep sigh and agreed with poor grace.
"Fine. Fine."
As he reached for the top muffin, Raph grabbed his wrist. "No. I choose." Raph grinned in true "payback's-a-bitch" fashion as he went through the pile sniffing at muffins. He placed one with a tale-tell wasabe leak on the table in front of Mikey. "Here you go!" Leo and Don watched in horrified silence as Mikey popped the muffin into his mouth whole.
"MMMmmm…" he smiled. Raph was about to go for his throat when Mike's smile drained and he gagged. Leo leaned away. If Mikey had been a volcano, the natives would have been searching for some handy virgins. Raph was too busy gloating to read the signs. With an eye-watering "Blup," Mt. Mikey erupted. Raph blinked. Then he looked at his feet. "Sorry bout that, dude." Don heard Raph growling.
Just in time to avert bloodshed, Splinter entered the room. "Good Morning my pupils. Michelangelo, are you alright?"
"Yeah, I just ate something that didn't agree with me."
Splinter took in the scene, "Raphael, clean yourself off and get a cool washcloth and some water for Michelangelo." The phone rang and Donnie gratefully escaped from the kitchen.
"Well, at least we know the rest of them are safe," and with that Leo reached into the pile and popped a muffin into his mouth.
"Hello?"
"Hey Donnie, It's April. Look. I just got into work and there was a fax –"
"Get your butt back here!"
"What was that?"
"Oh, Mikey made muffins for breakfast and 2 of them are different."
"So?"
"Some of them were spiked with wasabe and raw garlic"
"Heh, oh and Leo just found one of the 2, huh?"
"Naw, if he'd found one of the 2, he'd have been fine… apparently the REST of them have been doctored."
April was laughing too hard to steer the conversation back to the fax.
"You think you're funny, don't you?"
"Leo, Raph, it's ok! Please?"
"Leonardo, Raphael, Leave Michelangelo alone! He is sick."
"Not as sick as he's gonna be…"
"Uh, anyways what was that about a fax?"
"Ha haa…. oh yeah. Apparently Dr. Perry—"
"Dr. Perry! I haven't heard from him since we dealt with all that TGRI stuff. Wow, did he give you contact info?"
"No, I'm afraid not. The cover letter is from a Kinko's somewhere. But he has some important stuff he's sending to you guys via me. From the sound of it, it's lab stuff, but he really didn't say. I get the impression that maybe this stuff shouldn't be traced back to him."
"Cool. Crazy mad doctor stuff."
"He said he shipped it yesterday, and it'll arrive 3 days from now, so that's Friday evening at the farm house. I'm gonna need to sign for it."
"But April wasn't this your mini-vacation weekend? "
"Yeah, but I don't have to be at the spa before Saturday morning. Heading out Friday was just a nice bonus. I can pick you guys up Friday morning, drop you at the farm, sign for the packages and let you guys fend for yourselves for the weekend."
"I'm sure Master Splinter would love to spend the weekend out there."
"Great! I'll pick you guys up Friday at 8am."
"Coolness."
"See you then."
"Bye"
Donatello and Splinter sat in the kitchen quietly eating the only 2 non-tainted muffins while Donatello explained April's phone call. "Yes, I believe a weekend in the country will be beneficial to your brothers."
Evenly spaced around the dojo, three turtles holding buckets full of water at arms' length and chest height glared at each other and burped from time to time.